SITH WAR 2002: SUCK!!!

[Michael Ponte (Love Machine)]

When we last left you:

The Love Machine's Death Star is critically damaged by an evil virus and
shaved beavers running amok.

Ozzy is devoured by rabid gerbils.

Drake is assassinated by a mouse droid.

Sean screams like a girl.
--

Love Machine scrambles to the Battle Bridge, various commanders man the
computers as technicians furiously counter the effects of the Virus
implanted by the Bounty Hunter.
"Report!"
Sean Walsh, hair messed up and dress torn from the commotion approaches his
master.
"The Virus is nearly taken care of, we are preparing to re-boot the system
and re-install the software."
"How long will this take?"
"Half an hour at most. Maybe another hour reconfiguring everything to work
properly, download the critical updates..etc.."
"Damn Microsoft..."
"There is the matter of Drake sir."
"Yes, the poor bastard died bfore I could team up with him."
"There may be a way to save him sire."
"Yes?!"
"If we can remove the poison from his body we may eb able to save him."
"Truly! Well, get to it Walsh."
"But how am I supposed to go about removing the poison?"
"Suck."
"Excuse me?"
"Place your mouth on his neck and suck out the poison."
"But..."
"Do it!"
"Oh Christ..."
Some Guards bring in Drake's body and set it before Sean. Ponte turns away
from the scene as this is something that he does not wish to see. Sean
kneels beside the corpse and places his mouth on Drake's neck...and sucks.
After removing the deadly serum, Two Medi-bots move to the Body and give his
heart an electric shock. The body stirs and sits up straight.
"Whoa! What the hell happened?"
At the sound of the voice, Ponte turns to Drake as Sean runs off to cry.
"Welcome back Drake! You were dead."
"Wow, I've only jsut entered this Sith War and they are already trying to
kill me"
The Deck Commander approaches Love Machine.
"Sir, we are ready to re-boot the system"
"Excellent, begin the process. Drake, let's go to my ready room and discuss
our alliance. "
They make thier way through the darkened halls and go to the door of Ponte's
Ready room. They enter to find it occupied by Sean Walsh, who is shaving his
legs.
"What the hell are you doing Walsh????"
"uh...hello sir, and you too Drake."
"Hi there Walsh..."
"Well, I'll be leaving now"
Sean walks out with a huff leaving the Two alone.
"Wow. Why do you put up with him."
"He may not have looks, but he make a hell of a cup of coffee!"
"Disturbing, and coming from me that means something."
"Thank you."
"Well, here is that contract that I want us to sign. It contains the normal
legal stuff, you and I form an alliance, what you command, I command etc
etc."
"What is this small print?"
"Oh that's just the normal legalities. You agree to not leave this contract
before the war is over...you know :)"
"Ok"
Ponte signs the paper and hands it back to Drake who signs it as well. Drake
looks down at the handwriting and smiles.
"What are you smirking about?"
"Did I forget to mention what else was in the fine print?"
"Oh god...what?"
"You are now my adopted son."
"Uh....why would you do something like that?"
"I just like to be different."
"Alright, well. On to important matters partner, I have a personal shielding
system that I use to prevent assasination attempts. It is an invisible
energy shield that surrounds my body. Here, I have attatched one such device
to your belt. Activate the switch."
He does so and a blue glow surrounds the Warlord. The glow disappears after
a few seconds
"Wow. This is pretty cool."
"We try. Well, I have arranged for you to be staying in room 334, I will
have a soldier show you the way. GUARD! "
A Security officer enters.
"Show Lord Drake to his quarters. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."
"Goodnight Ponte"
"Goodnight Drake"
Ponte hits a switch at his computer console and Sean Walsh enters, hair in
curlers
"You summoned me."
"Yes, this situation is even better than I could have imagined. The legal
document I signed makes me Drake Legal heir! If there comes a time that I
tire of this alliance, I can have him dispatched and take control of his
forces!"
"Excellent sir!"
"Sean, are you gay?"
"No. What makes you say that?"
"You just seem a little TOO eager to get into these silly outfits"
"I assure you sir. I like sex with women."
"Ok, you are dismissed."
"Goodnight Lord Ponte"
Sean leaves the room and utter a sigh of relief. He then removes a nail file
from his pocket and begins to whittle away at his nails, but he's not gay.

Just then, the Shaved Beavers go running in front of Sean closely followed
by 3 Security Guards with nets trying in vain to catch them.
---
SUMMARY:
The Death Star is repaired, having destroyed all traces of the Bouny Hunter
virus.

Sean Walsh is not gay, at least that is what he says.

Drake is alive and well and has entered an alliance with the Love Machine.

Love Machine is Drake's adopted son, who is secretly plotting to take over
Drake's Empire when the Alliance no longer serves him.

Ozzy is dead...

Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com

President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)

Veteran of Celebration I and II

"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas

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