[Sith War 2002] Mmm Spicy
Drake
Drake put his truck in park and then hopped out and led Ozzy over
to their welcoming committee after he'd grabbed a box from the truck.
The committee was everything Drake had hoped for. People actually
looking forward to seeing him so much that they forced a man into
dressing like Ginger Spice. As soon as Drake neared them, their
leader who Drake recognized as The Love Machine, elbowed the
poor transvestite manservant. That action caused the manservant
to begin singing the Spice Girls' song "Wannabe".
"Greetings Drake, I hope that my the entertainment meets your
approval. I've also set up a steak dinner for you. T-bone is your
preferred meeting meal, if my research is correct." The Love Machine
greeted politely, without stooping so low as to be a sycophant.
"You do your research well, Sir Love Machine. And I must say,
your hapless manservant can sing rather well and doesn't look half
bad in drag. But really, could anyone look bad with red hair, a
slutty dress and large fake boobs?" Drake said with a smile and
another appreciative look to the Ginger Spiceman.
Ozzy nodded and spoke a hello, though no one understood him
so they kept on talking, paying him no mind.
"Can't argue with that. But actually, Sean here is a hapless
lackey, since he's in drag manservant is a misnomer. Anyway,
shall we head off to eat?" The Love Machine asked, hoping to
get down to the negotiations that would be needed to bring
together an alliance.
Again Ozzy spoke, and was ignored as his words were indecipherable.
"In a moment, but I have a gift for you. I had heard during my
flight here about the wooden monstrosity out there so I stopped
off to get you a present." Drake said, patting the box.
"Oh yes, the Luddite Star out there, I've already sent termites
after 'Endor's Revenge'. That should take care of them." Said
The Love Machine, quite proud of himself.
"Hrm. You're a good Love Machine, but you lack some
perversity. I present you with this perverted gift, to be used to
attack those in wooden ships. I present to you... Shaved Beavers!"
Drake said, opening the box and letting about two dozen shaved
beavers come out. Some completely shaven, others with strips,
triangles, letters, hearts and other designs shaved on their mostly
hairless bodies.
Ozzy said something, again, at this point. But no one really
understood him and ignored him.
"Those are certainly... interesting. Thank you. I'll be sure to
use them. They're very different from what one has come to
commonly associate with beavers." The Love Machine said,
watching the beavers skitter around the hanger bay.
"Well, they're faintly related to the Shaven Wookies, with some
similarities, I'm sad to say, with Care Bears. Hence the different
designs. But they are quite effective, I'd suggest using them if you
ever need to attack Mon Cal. But anyway, you said there was
food?" Drake said licking his lips, which instantly caused Sean to
become uncomfortable despite the fact Drake wasn't looking
anywhere near him.
"Yes, right this way." Love Machine said, leading Drake and
Ozzy toward the food.
---
After the meal, which you should be grateful you are not hearing
the details of, the four people headed off to discuss an alliance.
"I have no problem aligning myself with you. I think you know
what's going on in this war. I need that help. What I have to offer
you is my support, and the support of my ships. My highly
modified 'Death' Stars, my clone army of N`Sync which, after we
finish here I will call and have made into even more units, my
ultra-secret evil clones as well as some things I had put into motion
way back in SWIV. I think we could work well together. I'll even
give you access to information on my Infinite Improbability Drive
which turned CFC into a pizza way back when. But there is one
other thing I want from you. Something that might be a little more
difficult for you to get me. Even if you can't though, I'll still work
with you..." Drake said, trailing off.
"Your proposal sounds quite good for both of us so far. What is
the last thing you want?" The Love Machine asked, eager to seal this deal.
"Do you think you could keep Sean in drag throughout the whole
war? It's perverted, which is a sign of my influence. As well, it's
evil fun. This, very good for a Sith War." Drake said, casting a quick
look at Sean who was suddenly very pale and looked ready to
kill The Love Machine.
"Let me give it some thought." The Love Machine said with an evil grin.
-----------
SUMMARY:
Drake arrives on The Love Machine's Death Star.
The Love Machine is given Shaved Beavers as a gift.
They discuss an alliance, and it is up to The Love Machine to decide if it
happens.
Drake prepares to contact his people and order even more clones.
AND all through the post Sean Walsh is in drag and singing Spice Girls
songs.
Drake
I can't be in a Sith War without someone wanting me dead. I'm
proud of that fact.
Remove 'pervo' to reply by email.
Sean Walsh
Sean
:)
Drake <daemo...@pervocharter.net> wrote in message
news:ugqcmg3...@corp.supernews.com...
--
New Gods Library: http://fastbak.tripod.com
Quantum Piett! http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
My latest eBay auctions: http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/slwalsh/
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
"Sean Walsh" <wals...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:LQaP8.216622$352.13617@sccrnsc02...
> God, I still hate you all...
>
> Sean
> :)
You love it and you know it sicko!!!!
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
Drake
Michael Ponte (Love Machine) wrote:
>
>
> "Sean Walsh" <wals...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:LQaP8.216622$352.13617@sccrnsc02...
> > God, I still hate you all...
> >
> > Sean
> > :)
>
> You love it and you know it sicko!!!!
You think maybe we're hitting just a little too close to home? ;)
Not that I'm trying to start any rumors or anything. I mean,
I'd never do anything. Really. ;)
But be nice to him in the next part, let him pick out the next
dress to wear on his own. You think he'll pick Daphne or
Velma?
>
> --
> Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
> super...@attbi.com
>
> President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
>
> Veteran of Celebration I and II
>
> "Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
> percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the
middle
> of the shit." - George Lucas
>
> Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
> And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
>
>
Drake
Clinical studies have shown that if I am not perverted, then those here will
be forced to pick up the slack. Would you want that to happen again?
Remove 'pervo' to reply.
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
>
> Michael Ponte (Love Machine) wrote:
> >
> >
> > "Sean Walsh" <wals...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:LQaP8.216622$352.13617@sccrnsc02...
> > > God, I still hate you all...
> > >
> > > Sean
> > > :)
> >
> > You love it and you know it sicko!!!!
>
> You think maybe we're hitting just a little too close to home? ;)
> Not that I'm trying to start any rumors or anything. I mean,
> I'd never do anything. Really. ;)
>
> But be nice to him in the next part, let him pick out the next
> dress to wear on his own. You think he'll pick Daphne or
> Velma?
> >
VELMA!!!
Sean Walsh
news:vVoP8.108926$pw3.6451@sccrnsc03...
>
> "Drake" <daemo...@pervocharter.net> wrote in message
> news:ugqro9k...@corp.supernews.com...
> >
> > Michael Ponte (Love Machine) wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > "Sean Walsh" <wals...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:LQaP8.216622$352.13617@sccrnsc02...
> > > > God, I still hate you all...
> > > >
> > > > Sean
> > > > :)
> > >
> > > You love it and you know it sicko!!!!
> >
> > You think maybe we're hitting just a little too close to home? ;)
> > Not that I'm trying to start any rumors or anything. I mean,
> > I'd never do anything. Really. ;)
> >
> > But be nice to him in the next part, let him pick out the next
> > dress to wear on his own. You think he'll pick Daphne or
> > Velma?
> > >
>
>
> VELMA!!!
Yes. Just like Velma: I'm into girls. :D
Sean,
still hate all of you...
:)
Darth Par-Kay
<snip>
> -----------
>
> SUMMARY:
>
> Drake arrives on The Love Machine's Death Star.
>
> The Love Machine is given Shaved Beavers as a gift.
>
> They discuss an alliance, and it is up to The Love Machine to decide if it
> happens.
>
> Drake prepares to contact his people and order even more clones.
>
> AND all through the post Sean Walsh is in drag and singing Spice Girls
> songs.
>
-------------------------------------------------------
Nuclear Wessel's....uh vessel.... approached "The Love Machine"'s
stolen Death Star and was immediately hailed by the officer on duty.
"State your name and business!" "Parts and technical for the
forest...er for the Death Star. Transmitting clearance code now."
Nuclear Wessel made a series of keystrokes sending a clearance code to
the ' Star. Hidden within the code was a vIruS, given to him by Bu
Ffet. After checking the code without detecting it, the officer on
duty let Nuclear land in docking bay 10. Nonchalantly, Nuclear opened
the hatch on the ship and had his/her/it's droid begin unloading the
shipment of containers convieniently scheduled for delivery. No one
noticed a mouse droid exiting the ship, making its way to the chamber
where the Love Machine and Drake were meeting.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Let me give it some thought." The Love Machine said with an evil
grin.
The mouse droid entered the room as they were sitting down to eat.Ozzy
saw the mouse droid, looked frantic, and said something, but since no
one really understood him they ignored him as usual.
Sean noticed a light flashing on a nearby wall console. "Sir, you
forgot to check you email again." The Love Machine looked up, "Oh, do
that for me will you, Sean?" Grumbling, Sean got up and walked to the
panel where he pressed a few buttons on the console bringing up his
master's inbox. "Oh there's only one message for you. Strange, I can't
tell who sent it. Oh well."
As soon as the message is opened the dark visiage of a gungan Sith
Lord appears on the screen and begins to cackle manaiacly as the
lights suddenly start to flicker and alarm klaxons begin bellowing
like a heard of angry elephants. Sean squeals in fear and runs as fast
as his high heels can carry him out of the room. At the same time the
mouse droid strikes releasing 5 very perturbed rabid gerbils. The Love
Machine has just enough time to utter, "What the?" before 4 the
gerbils launch themselves at the now completely terrified Ozzy,
devouring him before their eyes, while the 5th starts hitting on the
shaven beavers, distracting them with a strip tease. Apparently this
is too much for the beavers who exit the room as fast as possible,
scattering throughout the ship and causing havoc here and there as
they go.
Backing away very carefully and very relieved, Drake says, "Well, at
least they weren't after me." as the mouse droid shoots a poison dart
at Drake, striking him in the neck. Gasping, Drake has just enough
time to say "Aw crap." before his body tumbles lifelessly to the
ground. The mouse droid, its mission completed, explodes into several
pieces. As Death Star began to list, the Love Machine quickly made his
way to the nearest command post in order to figure out what the hell
was going on. "Officer! What the Hell is going on!?" "Well uh,
sir...it appears as though the ship has caught a virus. It's
overloading our databanks with Episode III spoilers and the ship's
systems are shutting down trying to prevent itself from being spoilt."
"DAMN! Well fix it then!" Totally intimidated, officer mumbles
something about "a long time to fix this mess" as the Love Machine
storms off to find out who was behind the mayhem. No one notices
Nuclear Wessel's ship speeding off into space. Once clear, the
assassin relays a message to Bu Ffet. "Mission accomplished. The
gerbils went after Ozzy, that was to be expected, but the droid took
him out anyway with a dart."
Smiling Bu Ffet congratulates Wessel on the kill, and transmits a
message to his employer. "It's done."
Pleased, Steve relays a single pjrase in reply..." Mooie mooie
excellente."
------------------------------------------------------------
SUMMARY:
The Love Machine's Death Star is critically damaged by an evil virus
and shaved beavers running amok.
Ozzy is devoured by rabid gerbils.
Drake is assassinated by a mouse droid.
Sean screams like a girl.
--
Steve
- Leader of the Gungan Seperatists
- Sith Lord Cousin of Jar Jar
- Veteran of Sith War III and IV
"Woar grrrrr hiss cough growl"
The great and powerful Oink!
"Darth Par-Kay" <gray...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:d2613985.02061...@posting.google.com...
This Sith War has just gained a subtitle. "Sith War 2002: attack of the
small mammals."
Jade
--
Clones and gerbils, I think we're giving Drake too much to work with here.
Celaeno
Nice post, but...
>Nonchalantly, Nuclear opened
>the hatch on the ship and had his/her/it's droid begin unloading the
>shipment of containers convieniently scheduled for delivery.
A surplus beaver jumps up, grabs the surplus apostrophe in the word
"its", chews it to a mass of sharp edges and whacks Wessel repeatedly
over the head with it.
(It looks even worse than usual when you stick it next to his/her...)
Sith War Goddess
--
"do not meddle in the affairs of goddesses, as being
struck by lightning often offends" - Rimrunner
Drake
>
> "Darth Par-Kay" <gray...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:d2613985.02061...@posting.google.com...
> > "Drake" <daemo...@pervocharter.net> wrote in message
> news:<ugqcmg3...@corp.supernews.com>...
> >
> > <snip>
> >
> > > -----------
> > >
> > > SUMMARY:
> > >
> > > Drake arrives on The Love Machine's Death Star.
> > >
> > > The Love Machine is given Shaved Beavers as a gift.
> > >
> > > They discuss an alliance, and it is up to The Love Machine to decide
if
> it
> > > happens.
> > >
> > > Drake prepares to contact his people and order even more clones.
> > >
> > > AND all through the post Sean Walsh is in drag and singing Spice Girls
> > > songs.
> > >
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------
> > SUMMARY:
> >
> > The Love Machine's Death Star is critically damaged by an evil virus
> > and shaved beavers running amok.
> >
> > Ozzy is devoured by rabid gerbils.
> >
> > Drake is assassinated by a mouse droid.
> >
> > Sean screams like a girl.
> >
> > --
> > Steve
>
> This Sith War has just gained a subtitle. "Sith War 2002: attack of the
> small mammals."
>
> Jade
> --
> Clones and gerbils, I think we're giving Drake too much to work with here.
>
It's my aura, really. I show up and the perverted aura that surrounds me
influences all those in the area. 90% of people who spend any lengthy
amount of time around me end up either buying lots of porn or starring
in lots of porn. Which is really bad since I have live cows about
15feet from me... That's just not a pretty sight. ;)
And only because of 'The Mothman Prophesies' shall I repress the urge
to make one certain style of joke in this Sith War. ;)
Drake
Richard Gere was good in that movie...