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[Sith War] Will the real Hacker stand up?

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Penguinista

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Oct 21, 2003, 9:25:29 PM10/21/03
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Tilson meeting with Muuurgh had gone sour.

> "Suppose we can slip out of here unnoticed?" Muuurgh asked.
> "I can, I can teleport." Tilson said haughtily.
> "Hey, your not going anywhere unless you take us with you." Muuurgh
> pushed Hacker further underneath the table with his feet, aimed his
> six-shooter at Tilson's side. "This doesn't have to be ugly you
know. > There are two ways out of this. You go with us out the back,
or you > teleport all of us off this rock and back to RASSM planet."
> Tilson nodded.

They were about to depart when a figure dressed in green wizards robes
and wielding a gibson coil pike burst in and made a bee line towards
them. "Where's Mara?" he demanded.

"Mrrmh, grrl", noises issues from the bag beneath the table. A wave
from his staff and the bag floated out and opened. A misshapen copy of
him crawled out. "My Precius."

"And still tormenting the innocent I see."

From across the room to the far side of the table from the green figure
a lady dressed in 19th century fashion approached and interupted.
"Charles Babbage?" He had gone by that alias for a time. "Yes."
"I've been looking for you. You can call me Ada."

=================
Summary:
real hacker meets fake.
A new sidekick arrives.

Muuurgh

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Oct 21, 2003, 10:42:02 PM10/21/03
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"Penguinista" <pe...@nospam.calweb.com> wrote in message
news:3f95e61d$0$36048$d36...@news.newshosting.com...

This post needs work.
How are there always 45 different Hackers.
"Oops you got me. Just kidding that wasn't really me."
No imagination.

-Muuurgh
I have other words that I am refusing to use. Kim Le, where are you?

Kim Le

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Oct 21, 2003, 10:52:08 PM10/21/03
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On Tue, 21 Oct 2003 18:25:29 -0700, Penguinista
<pe...@nospam.calweb.com> wrote:
<snip>

> From across the room to the far side of the table from the green figure
>a lady dressed in 19th century fashion approached and interupted.
>"Charles Babbage?" He had gone by that alias for a time. "Yes."
>"I've been looking for you. You can call me Ada."

*pop*

Suddenly a telephone booth appeared in the middle of the...wait, where
were we? Didn't matter. Sith Squid extraordinaire ran up to an oddly
dressed woman in 19th century fashion. "Ada?!"

"Yes?"

"Quick, grab her!"

An entire legion of ewoks burst out from the booth and grabbed Ada by
her legs and lifted her up in a crowd-surfing chaos.

"What is this? ~Excuse~ me!" she tried to protest as she swatted the
ewoks over the head with some 19th century fashion umbrella in her
hands.

"Eeechee! Yub yub!"

"Quick! We must take Ada.... to the FUTURE! RASSM depends on us!"

"Pardon me!" came the protests of one Jedi Hacker. "She's *my*
sidekick here! You can't just go stealing other people's sidekicks,
it's against the rules!"

There was a loud *fwump* as the ewoks promptly dropped the woman on
her rear. "Eeecheewawa?"

"Rules?" questioned the squid-yoda-like...what the hell was it?
Doesn't matter. She didn't look too pleased with this thing called
"rules."

"Ha! I'm not too pleased with this thing you call 'rules!'" and with a
*snap*hiss* of a lightsaber, she cut Ada's head off.

"But.... but you said our future--"

"Ah, we'll just blow the place up and build it all over again," she
said.

Then calling forth a rancor that came bursting into the room in fury
and hunger, the squid-yoda-like thing took off with the legion of
ewoks in their magical telephone booth for places and times unknown.
*pop*

The rancor sat in the middle of the room, munching on Ada's corpse,
quite oblivious to the other patrons.

"Rwaurgh! *urp*"

-- Kim Le

Jill Marie

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Oct 22, 2003, 1:37:13 AM10/22/03
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"Kim Le" wrote:
> Penguinista wrote:

> <snip>

<thunderous applause>


~~jill marie

Jill Marie

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Oct 22, 2003, 2:45:21 AM10/22/03
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"Penguinista" cheated and hit the reset button once again:


> Summary:
> real hacker meets fake.
> A new sidekick arrives.

Hmmmm, Hacker, you just don't get it, do you? Sith Wars = chain
storytelling. In case you missed this game in kindergarten, let me show
you.

Amy: "A man had a dog...."

Brad (adds on....not resets the story...): "and went for a walk..."

Charlie: "in NYC and got lost..."

David: "in Central Park and so he hailed a cab..."


at this point you would jump in and change the story because it's not going
as you envisioned....

Hacker: "A man had a cat...."

Be creative. *Write* your way out of a situation. Don't hit the reset
button just because the game/story isn't going your way or doesn't show you
in a favorable light. Jeez.


~~jill marie
there's a reason no one wanted to play with you on the playground.... ;-p


Steve...@rightbehindyou.com

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Oct 22, 2003, 8:11:55 AM10/22/03
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squ...@moncal.sys (Kim Le) wrote:
> On Tue, 21 Oct 2003 18:25:29 -0700, Penguinista
> <pe...@nospam.calweb.com> wrote:
> <snip>
> > From across the room to the far side of the table from the green figure
> >a lady dressed in 19th century fashion approached and interupted.
> >"Charles Babbage?" He had gone by that alias for a time. "Yes."
> >"I've been looking for you. You can call me Ada."

[snip]

> The rancor sat in the middle of the room, munching on Ada's corpse,
> quite oblivious to the other patrons.
>
> "Rwaurgh! *urp*"

This post is canon.

Steve Tilson

--
"How many more, Harry?" said Dumbledore, eyes puddling with tears. "How
many more have to be buried before your thirst for vengeance is satisfied?"
- www.pointlesswasteoftime.com

Muuurgh

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Oct 22, 2003, 11:47:45 AM10/22/03
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"Kim Le" <squ...@moncal.sys> wrote in message
news:3f95f0d0....@news.dallas.sbcglobal.net...

*wipes tears from cheek*
I, I, can't say enough...
*choke*
Wonderful.

-Muuurgh


Muuurgh

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Oct 22, 2003, 11:57:23 AM10/22/03
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<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031022081155.396$l...@newsreader.com...

> squ...@moncal.sys (Kim Le) wrote:
> > On Tue, 21 Oct 2003 18:25:29 -0700, Penguinista
> > <pe...@nospam.calweb.com> wrote:
> > <snip>
> > > From across the room to the far side of the table from the green
figure
> > >a lady dressed in 19th century fashion approached and interupted.
> > >"Charles Babbage?" He had gone by that alias for a time. "Yes."
> > >"I've been looking for you. You can call me Ada."
>
> [snip]
>
> > The rancor sat in the middle of the room, munching on Ada's corpse,
> > quite oblivious to the other patrons.
> >
> > "Rwaurgh! *urp*"
>
> This post is canon.

Now if only you'd fire that can(n)on at the fake Hacker who claims to be the
real one and get this story back where it belongs. Nevermind I'll do it.

Muuurgh grabs Kim_Le's can(n)on and points it squarely at the
figure-dressed-in-green-wizard's-robes chest.
"Say good night poser."
*BOOM*
All that was left were his little green wizard shoes.

Muuurgh turned to Tilson. "Well? What's the plan?" As he stuffed
Hacker/Gollum back into the burlap sack while She'Pi gave him another zap
with the tazer.

-Muuurgh

C'Pi

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Oct 22, 2003, 12:00:02 PM10/22/03
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I don't understand any of this Sith War.
--
C'Pi
Smell my finger


Muuurgh

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Oct 22, 2003, 11:59:24 AM10/22/03
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"C'Pi" <as...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:bn69dn$th5ok$1...@ID-111793.news.uni-berlin.de...

Follow along, it's just getting good.

-Muuurgh
Militant vigilance is the answer to our Hacker woes.

Muuurgh

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Oct 22, 2003, 12:08:33 PM10/22/03
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"Jill Marie" <ra...@attNOSPAM.net> wrote in message
news:5Iplb.188934$0v4.14...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...

*ouch* that was harsh. Effective, but harsh.

-Muuurgh


Penguinista

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Oct 22, 2003, 1:08:25 PM10/22/03
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(since you insisted on KILLING a player character)

A cloud of vapor that was the Jedi Hacker diffused for a moment before
reversing and reassembling into the familier form. With a flury of his
pike he smashed the can(n)on. Another gesture and Ada's head, all that
remained of her, flew into his hand. A quick check of her severed neck
confirmed what his droid vision had seen before, an android. "Now where
were we? Oh, yeah, I traced Mara's signal here and found you abusing a
poor creature." For a few miliseconds he scanned the room, found the
creature back in the bag and under the table, and took a closer look.
"Can't be." A cluster of nanites flew as dust to the creature. "Oh my,
I think he used to be me."

=================
Summary:

- The Hackers body appears to have survived the destruction of his shop,
and devoid of Hackers self become a golumn creature.

- Ada was a droid. (no, I didn't just make this up)

C'Pi

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Oct 22, 2003, 1:59:13 PM10/22/03
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Penguinista wrote:
>
> Summary:
>
> - The Hackers body appears to have survived the destruction of his
> shop, and devoid of Hackers self become a golumn creature.
>
> - Ada was a droid. (no, I didn't just make this up)

Oo...Oo...I bet I know what's going to happen next.

Kim Le

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Oct 22, 2003, 5:53:33 PM10/22/03
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On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 10:08:25 -0700, Penguinista
<pe...@nospam.calweb.com> wrote:
<snip>
>For a few miliseconds he scanned the room, found the
>creature back in the bag and under the table, and took a closer look.
>"Can't be." A cluster of nanites flew as dust to the creature. "Oh my,
>I think he used to be me."

"Right then," started the green robed figure known to the crowd as
Hacker Obi-Wannabe. "I see, as usual, you ignoramuses have managed to
make quite a botch of this quest without my expertise to guide you!"

He then turned his attention back to the shriveled gollum figure
cowering under the table. "Come now, my little friend. There's no need
to be afraid."

The pitiful creature crawled toward the Hacker, all the while
groveling "yes, yes, Hacker is a good wizard, yes *gollum* *gollum*!"

"Now it is time we settle the matter of this One Ring," Hacker
continued to the patrons of the bar, all enraptured with his every
commanding word, eager to hear his profound words of wisdom. Muuurgh
had even dropped down to his knees, so in awe of Hacker's majesty.

"We *will* win this battle, for we have something even more powerful
than this One Ring. That is to say, we have... Me! And I wield one of
the secret rings of power. I present you all with.... THIS!"

And with a grand gesture, Hacker thrust his hand in front of him where
all the crowd could see a massive ring on his finger, a gold band with
a large red shiny button on top marked by the word "TECHNOBABBLE" in
gleaming letters. The crowd ooooh'ed and aaaah'ed. Tilson even fainted
from the sight of one of the few artifacts in this universe with a
power greater than a hundred Kevin J. Anderson-inspired superweapons.
Or might have actually created a hundred KJA-inspired superweapons,
for all we know.

Hacker lowered his hand with a look of triumph as the crowd started to
murmur that their savior had arrived.

"It is time we take this One Ring back to the very pits of Hell from
which it was crea--"

Hacker stopped mid-sentence as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He
turned around and faced the rancor who had tried to eat Ada earlier.
He towered over the Hacker, looking meaner and hungrier than ever
before. He spit out some nuts and bolts that had been wedged in this
teeth from the android and with one swoop of his hand, he picked up
the green robed figure and held him at eye level.

"Oh..." the Hacker muttered, quite surprised at this turn of events.
"Um, didn't see you there, fine chap. Sorry about the android, but
that was entirely not my faul--"

The rancor squeezed Hacker even tighter and let out a very perturbed
snort.

"Now see here," Hacker managed to weeze. "I am the servant of the
Posts of Assitude! Wielder of the Staff of Retcon!" He shook the staff
in his free hand at the rancor. "Don't you make me use this!"

The rancor narrowed his eyes and snorted again, snapping the staff
away from the Hacker with his own free hand.

*pop*

"Ah, my furry friends, we are back in.... the FUTUR-- ah hell."

Again, the magical telephone booth that had brought Sith Squid to this
room earlier reappeared. She looked around and saw the rancor was
waving the staff in her direction, clearly wanting her to do somethng
about it.

"Oh! Okay then!"

Using Sith Squid's Dark Side powers, the staff ignited, turning into a
rather large torch. The rancor snorted in thanks before walking out of
the room, carrying the Jedi Hacker in front of him with the blazing
torch scorching the poor sod like a marshmallow.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M A MAJOR PLAYER IN THIS SITH WAR, YOU'RE
NOT ALLOWED TO EAT MEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The crowd, snapped from the trance of lame, convenient Sith War hero
worship, started to cheer. Jade, called by the overpowering force of
celebration, appeared from out of nowhere to order drinks all around
and get pissed.

"Now that I've done my part for Sith War kind, I must return to Sith
War 2007 to take over RASSM City in the name of the Dark Side!"
exclaimed the Sith Squid as she walked back to the telephone booth.
Unfortunately, the ewoks inside had shut the door in her face and were
making obscene gestures and faces before the telephone was engulfed in
energy and disappeared.

"NOOOO!" the Sith Squid screamed as she was left stranded. "NOT THIS
SITH WAR! THIS IS ONE OF THE ONES THAT SUCK!"

"MY PRECIOUS!" came another cry. In the melee of celebration, the
forgotten Hacker Gollum, finished being distraught over the demise of
his green robed counterpart, had returned his attentions to his true
passion. He leapt toward a surprised She'Pi and before you could say
"expected satirical plot point" had bitten the finger wielding the One
Ring clean off She'Pi's hands.

And then the Hacker Gollum swallowed.

-- Kim Le

summary: The rancor eats the green robed version of jedi hacker.
Hacker Gollum bites and swallows.

Steve...@rightbehindyou.com

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Oct 22, 2003, 6:34:28 PM10/22/03
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squ...@moncal.sys (Kim Le) wrote:

> summary: The rancor eats the green robed version of jedi hacker.
> Hacker Gollum bites and swallows.

This post is also canon.

Somebody be so kind as to wave some smelling salts under my nose, eh?

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