[SITH WAR] Curse of the Tilsonian Steven
Skuzz the Merciless
"Space... the final frontier... unless you count travel to
altrnate universes or timelines I suppose, but for the sake of dramatic
license I'll ignore those. These are the voyages of the
starship...um.....er........ dammit, I forgot to give this crate a name."
Skuzz sat in the captains chair of his ship. He was almost back in RASSM
space and Igor was proving to be a very competent pilot. He pulled out a
small tape recorder and flipped it on, "Note to self, NAME SHIP!"
Suddenly he heard a noise behind him, like someone whispering his name.
He turned around and saw the ghostly image of Chris Hawkins, purple and
translucent standing behind him.
Skuzz screamed like a little girl and ran away.
"Oh brother." the ghost said, and disappeared.
Later, Skuzz was hiding in his room, carefully disguised as a bunch of
vibrating pillows hidden under his bedsheets.
"Yo, Skuzz! Get up, I need to talk to you, it's important" The phantom
Hawkins said.
Skuzz peeked out from behind the covers...
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
"
...and promptly resumed hiding.
"Come on Skuzz, we're buds, right? We really need to talk."
"I KILLED YOU!" Skuzz's muffled response came from the bed.
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me. But really Skuzz, I felt a disturbance
in the Funk, the shizzle has hit the fizzle this time."
Skuzz peeked out again and managed to keep his composure. "Whattaya mean?"
"Tilson lost."
Skuzz stood up, got caught in the blanket, fell off the bed, then got up
again. "But that means..."
"Yes, the Tilsonian Steven walks among us. Now, there are others who
could handle this, but there's more. The one who first beat Tilson was
wearing the Ring of Sith War God Power at the time."
Skuzz's jaw dropped. "Who would do such a thing?"
"I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and locked
away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not stop. Only
one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
"The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished. "But the
ritual has been lost for centuries! How can we possibly find it?"
The ghost of Hawkins shook his head, "I don't know. Maybe the one wearing
the ring may know something, but they didn't know that wearing the ring
while beating Tilson could do this so I don't know if they can help. In
fact... there's only one faction still around who may have the resources to
help... The Porkinites." Chris tossed Skuzz an envelope, "Muuurgh is holding
another Oyster Fry, If you hurry, you may get there before he's passed out."
With that, the spirit vanished.
Skuzz bent down and picked up the envelope. The fate of the RASSMverse was
in his hands. He shivered uncontrollably.
Then he turned the heat up in his cabin and felt much better.
Aside from the whole galaxy going BOOM thing anyways...
SUMMARY
=============
The RASSMverse will be destroyed regardless of Tilson's state unless The
Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual is performed, but only Skuzz knows
this, and he doesn't know the ritual or where to find it.
--
Skuzz the Merciless
<Insert witty line here>
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
[snip funny shit]
> "I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
> locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
> stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
>
> "The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
Steve Tilson
--
"How many more, Harry?" said Dumbledore, eyes puddling with tears. "How
many more have to be buried before your thirst for vengeance is satisfied?"
- www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Policrat
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
30/10/03 1:03 pm:
> "Skuzz the Merciless" <levesqueS...@memNOTTHISPARTlane.com> wrote:
>
> [snip funny shit]
>
>> "I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
>> locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
>> stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
>>
>> "The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
>
> Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
Wasn't that what the Balance Point Thread was supposed to be doing?
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
Oh, right. Er... our second McGuffin?
> > Steve Tilson
>
> Pol'
Policrat
> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> in article 20031030080343.513$c...@newsreader.com,
>> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
>> 30/10/03 1:03 pm:
>>
>>> "Skuzz the Merciless" <levesqueS...@memNOTTHISPARTlane.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> [snip funny shit]
>>>
>>>> "I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
>>>> locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
>>>> stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
>>>>
>>>> "The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
>>>
>>> Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
>>
>> Wasn't that what the Balance Point Thread was supposed to be doing?
>
> Oh, right. Er... our second McGuffin?
I don't see why they should necessarily not be involved with each other...
>>> Steve Tilson
>>
>> Pol'
>
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Lefty Skywalker
Problem is that, of all the Sith Warriors, the only one who actually
cares about the BPT is you. Several don't even remember it. Hell, it
was winding down when I rejoined the group three years ago.
--
Daniel O. Miller
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein
WWYD?
(hotmail addy is a red herring; I'm at em see aych ess aye)
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> Policrat wrote:
> > in article 20031030080343.513$c...@newsreader.com,
> > Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote
> > on 30/10/03 1:03 pm:
> >
> >
> >>"Skuzz the Merciless" <levesqueS...@memNOTTHISPARTlane.com>
> >>wrote:
> >>
> >>[snip funny shit]
> >>
> >>
> >>>"I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
> >>>locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
> >>>stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
> >>>
> >>>"The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
> >>
> >>Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
> >
> >
> > Wasn't that what the Balance Point Thread was supposed to be doing?
>
> Problem is that, of all the Sith Warriors, the only one who actually
> cares about the BPT is you. Several don't even remember it. Hell, it
> was winding down when I rejoined the group three years ago.
Ooh, you shouldn't have said that. It'll be taken as a challenge to bring
it back.
Penguinista
> Lefty Skywalker <dmil...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>Policrat wrote:
>>
>>>in article 20031030080343.513$c...@newsreader.com,
>>>Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote
>>>on 30/10/03 1:03 pm:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>"Skuzz the Merciless" <levesqueS...@memNOTTHISPARTlane.com>
>>>>wrote:
>>>>
>>>>[snip funny shit]
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>"I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
>>>>>locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
>>>>>stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
>>>>>
>>>>>"The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
>>>>
>>>>Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
>>>
>>>
>>>Wasn't that what the Balance Point Thread was supposed to be doing?
>>
>>Problem is that, of all the Sith Warriors, the only one who actually
>>cares about the BPT is you. Several don't even remember it. Hell, it
>>was winding down when I rejoined the group three years ago.
>
>
> Ooh, you shouldn't have said that. It'll be taken as a challenge to bring
> it back.
>
> Steve Tilson
>
(In case you haven't noticed, the Hacker has fallen to the dark side,
curse you all.)
Policrat
dmil...@hotmail.com wrote on 5/11/03 3:51 am:
> Policrat wrote:
>> in article 20031030080343.513$c...@newsreader.com,
>> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
>> 30/10/03 1:03 pm:
>>
>>
>>> "Skuzz the Merciless" <levesqueS...@memNOTTHISPARTlane.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> [snip funny shit]
>>>
>>>
>>>> "I don't know, but even if the Tilsonian Steven is defeated and
>>>> locked away again, the process that wil destroy the universe will not
>>>> stop. Only one thing can save the RASSMverse now..."
>>>>
>>>> "The Needlessly Long and Complicated Ritual." Skuzz finished.
>>>
>>> Cool. I think we have our McGuffin.
>>
>>
>> Wasn't that what the Balance Point Thread was supposed to be doing?
>
> Problem is that, of all the Sith Warriors, the only one who actually
> cares about the BPT is you. Several don't even remember it. Hell, it
> was winding down when I rejoined the group three years ago.
Isn't that the point of a McGuffin?
I don't really care about the BPT in Sith War terms myself, either...
Pol'