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[Sith War 2053]: Staying Regular

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Reality bomb

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Jan 31, 2003, 2:32:52 PM1/31/03
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McEwok appeared on the viewscreen and growled instantly upon seeing Jade
transmitting from the Hall of Ham.

"Whattaya want ya scramin freak!?"

Jade removed the oxygen mask from its sagging face. *wheeze* "You'll get yer
ass down to the surface and face me like a man, a furry little man."

"eh?"

"Get down here!" *wheeze*

"I canna get tha damn communicator tae work!"

"Stupid fool!" Jade pointed to its ears dramatically.

"OH!" McEwok jammed the end of his hearing horn into place.

"If you aren't too yellow, I'm planning to destroy you today! Didn't you get
my invite?" *wheeze*

McEwok snarled "Aye! I'll be there!"

"Good. I'm sick of reminding you about Wednesday nights." The Archon sucked
in some more oxygen and ended the transmission. Two middle aged zealots
pushed Jade in its wheelchair back into the great hall where Muuurgh and
C'Pi and Gumby were standing around a hopper full of bingo balls.

Muuurgh scratched his head and inspected a large ball of hair that remained
attached to his claws. "What the hell?"

"Bahahaha!" C'Pi hobbled over to get a better look. "Time to pillage another
Rogaine factory, Archon!"

Muuurgh hissed at C'Pi "At least I'm not able to deflect blaster fire yet,
shiny!"

C'Pi rubbed his head. "Smooth as a baby's butt and the ladies love it. I
don't think you get many dates when you have mange."

Jade wheeled over to the hopper dragging its oxygen tank behind and gave it
a turn.

Gumby, who did not seem to have aged at all, save its hanky hat was now
grey, opened a jar of Mark Miller brand strained peas and giggled. "Can it,
you coots. The only time you score with the ladies is prostate exam time in
the infirmary."

Everyone paused and blinked, still not used to the cranky Oldbiness that
Gumby had acquired in recent years.

Jade went into a coughing fit. "Shut up all of ya. Now let's go over our
latest diabolical plan. All of the Sith Warriors will arrive for regular
Wednesday night bingo."

Everyone nodded.

"what they don't suspect is that we've rigged some of the bingo balls to
stay on the top all the time. The very same balls that correspond with our
"Special" bingo cards! BAHAHAHA! *cough cough cough wheeze huff*" Before the
others know what has hit them we will have won ALL OF THE BINGO MONEY!"

The Porkinites grumbled in approval. "What if they notice that the same
numbers are coming up over and over again?" Muuurgh Straightened.

"Are you kidding?" C'Pi was rubbing ben Gay on his elbow again. "Those old
farts are so hopped up on blood pressure and arthiritis meds they wouldn't
know if we stripped them naked and painted bingo numbers on them."

"Ewww. Don't mention them naked again." Gumby dumped out its peas.

Jade grimaced. "At any rate, he's right. Hell, Tilson always nods off after
the second game."

"Eh, archon? Is this realy the MOST diabolical plan yet? I mean when you
compare it with the scale of past schemes..."

"It's the most diabolical."

"But."

"It's the MOST DIABOLICAL, Muuurg!"

Nesha labored into the room pushing a large tea cart with a giant serving
bowl on top. "Pudding time!"

*************************************
Drake proudly walked over to Alice who leaned on her cane and pointed toward
his crotch where something protruded from beneath the fabric of his jogging
pants. "I popped two viagra an hour ago and that ain't no banana. Whatya say
hot lady?"

"I'd say unless you can bring me a cup of tea on that thing you need to get
lost." She whacked him in the shin with her cane. Drake yelped and limped
away rubbing his leg.

Tilson's head shot up off the table as he hollered "BINGO!"

Skuzz was sitting beside him doing a crossword puzzle and looked over
annoyed. "You fell asleep again! The game's been over for fifteen minutes."
He motioned toward the front of the room where apparently a struggle had
taken place. The bingo hopper was on the floor and balls strewn about
everywhere. "Damn Porkintes tried to rig it again." Skuzz continued "Last
time I'm playing with them. Hey what's a 12 letter word for disaster?"

Tilson notice that along one wall Jade was laboring to wheel toward the door
out of the hall, but having to huff its oxygen after every turn of the
wheel. A short distance behind, Michael Ponte and Sean inched their walkers
along, Holding ignited lightsabers in their teeth and screaming obscenities
at the Archon.

Tilson looked to his other side where DR sat stroking a moth eaten stuffed
quirrel. DR shrugged "They've been chasing each other for 15 minutes today.
Must be getting some stamina back after flu season."

At another table, Muurgh, Nesha, Gumby and C'Pi were engrossed in a game of
cribbage.

The Benny Goodman music broke suddenly and an announcement came over the
holonet. "Crossroads Trading post welcomes Seniors from Every System! Get in
on our early bird all you can eat buffet for 5 credits! We also offer 10%
off all prescription Drugs! Crossroads, your home away from home!"

Dan'l Miller flew by in his containment suit and mouthed the words "prime
rib" through his dome helmet to Tilson.

"Yeah. Let's goto the early bird. I like their potato skins."

Rimrunner overheard and started to put her kerchief on. "I'll drive."

Skuzz loked up from his crossword puzzle "Wasn't your license revoked?"

"Chris honey, I can see like a Dagobah wolf bat. Damn simulator tests don't
mean anything. Now come on one or more Porkintes has got gas to kill a
Gundark."

Jade

Steve...@rightbehindyou.com

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Jan 31, 2003, 4:42:31 PM1/31/03
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"Reality bomb" <rba...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> Tilson's head shot up off the table as he hollered "BINGO!"

BINGO!

*mmffgrl*

...whippersnappers...


*zzzzzzzz*

Steve Tilson

--
The avalanche has begun. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

Darth Gumby

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Jan 31, 2003, 7:41:10 PM1/31/03
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On Fri, 31 Jan 2003 19:32:52 GMT, Reality bomb transmitted this:

*wipes tears of laughter*

AGHAHAHA...*cough*

Gumby
--
I have the skin of a 75-year-old!

Michael Ponte (The Love Machine)

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Jan 31, 2003, 9:18:04 PM1/31/03
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lol..Nice

--
Long Live Salacious Crumb....

Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com

President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)

Veteran of Celebration I and II

"Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight,
who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I
mean, really, it was half-witted." -Christopher Lee


Skuzz the Merciless

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Jan 31, 2003, 10:33:48 PM1/31/03
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"Reality bomb" <rba...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:EbA_9.475629$FT6.97...@news4.srv.hcvlny.cv.net...

LOL!

--
Skuzz the Merciless
crossword puzzles are cool

>
>
>
> Jade
>
>
>
>
>


Lefty Skywalker

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Jan 31, 2003, 11:35:07 PM1/31/03
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On Fri, 31 Jan 2003, Reality bomb wrote:

> Dan'l Miller flew by in his containment suit and mouthed the words "prime
> rib" through his dome helmet to Tilson.

I don't get it.


Daniel O. Miller

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein

WWYD?

Reality bomb

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Feb 2, 2003, 7:47:20 AM2/2/03
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"Lefty Skywalker" <dmil...@ridgenet.net> wrote in message
news:Pine.SOL.3.95.103013...@owens.ridgecrest.ca.us...

> On Fri, 31 Jan 2003, Reality bomb wrote:
>
> > Dan'l Miller flew by in his containment suit and mouthed the words
"prime
> > rib" through his dome helmet to Tilson.
>
> I don't get it.
>

You don't like Prime Rib?

Jade

Lefty Skywalker

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Feb 2, 2003, 11:54:27 AM2/2/03
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2003, Reality bomb wrote:

> "Lefty Skywalker" <dmil...@ridgenet.net> wrote in message
> news:Pine.SOL.3.95.103013...@owens.ridgecrest.ca.us...
> > On Fri, 31 Jan 2003, Reality bomb wrote:
> >
> > > Dan'l Miller flew by in his containment suit and mouthed the words
> "prime
> > > rib" through his dome helmet to Tilson.
> >
> > I don't get it.
>
> You don't like Prime Rib?

Sure I do. But I still don't get it.

Reality bomb

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Feb 3, 2003, 8:42:33 AM2/3/03
to

"Lefty Skywalker" <dmil...@ridgenet.net> wrote in message
news:Pine.SOL.3.95.103020...@owens.ridgecrest.ca.us...

> On Sun, 2 Feb 2003, Reality bomb wrote:
>
> > "Lefty Skywalker" <dmil...@ridgenet.net> wrote in message
> > news:Pine.SOL.3.95.103013...@owens.ridgecrest.ca.us...
> > > On Fri, 31 Jan 2003, Reality bomb wrote:
> > >
> > > > Dan'l Miller flew by in his containment suit and mouthed the words
> > "prime
> > > > rib" through his dome helmet to Tilson.
> > >
> > > I don't get it.
> >
> > You don't like Prime Rib?
>
> Sure I do. But I still don't get it.

I'll send you some then.

Jade

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