[SITH WAR 2002]: I don't think we're on Google any more...
Policrat'
the villip choir at the CommScan station as the Counterculture's second-hand
Yuuzhan Vong Light Cruiser, the *Sith War VI*, shot away from the Luddite
Star, now heading on autopilot towards the RASS* System, crewed only by
termites and shaved beavers. "I suppose we've been saved a lot of trouble
there."
"Maybe," the Man with the Golden Lightsaber agreed. "But wasn't it a statue
of Gus Lopez a few Sith Wars ago?"
"Possibly," the avatar nodded. "In one of Hawkins' posts, I think."
***
The Jedi Hacker surveyed the wreckage of his base with a low, despairing
moan. Somewhere nearby, Pi warbled rudely.
"I know," he muttered. "I know."
Then, hearing a sound behind him, he turned to see a familiar-looking man
picking his way through the rubble.
"You're... me?" the Jedi Hacker asked, blinking several times to make sure
he wasn't mistaken, and taking a step back towards a great rent in the outer
wall, looking backwards anxiously as he realised that all that lay outside
was a deep chasm in the cityscape.
"Aren't you... dead?" the Jedi Haacker replied, reaching out with the Force,
and giving him a hefty shove.
The Jedi Hacker screamed as hge was thrown backwards out of the gash in the
bulkhead. The last thing he heard, as the howling wind snatched the sound
from his throat, was a rude chuckling from Pi.
"Right," the Jedi Haacker smirked, turning to the droid as the last echo of
Hack-Boy's hopeless cry faded away. "What do you say, little fellow? Time to
sort out this mess?"
***
There was a knocking on the door. Which was odd, since there was no door
there, and the Sith Warriors involved were scattered across the Galaxy
In the arena on NeoGesis, now converted to a soccer stadium, Shef blew the
referee's whistle desperately, but not in time to stop Bas-Jan slotting
Salacious Crumb past Davin Felth and into the back of the net.
Aboard the burrito ship, the Love Machine, now fully reconciled to his
homosexuality, gestured for He'Pi to carry on with the blow-job, adjusted
the straps of his own bikini, and tried to flick idly through a lingerie
catalogue in a display of nonchalance.
On the bridge of the _Surly Punk_, Lord Tilson raised an eyebrow in
puzzlement.
In their Vegas hotel-room, Farmboy, Kim Le, Sal Waterfall, and the Jedi
Master James Trory all looked amusingly embarrassed and annoyed..
In his secret cave Grand Admiral Daave nodded meaningfully at his pet stone.
In Wuher's Orbital and Hyperspace-Capable Bar & Grill, Kallas took the
opportunity to swipe one of Dark Rendar's pawns off the chessboard.
At the wheel of the DeLorean as it travelled through transdimentional space,
Dan'l Miller blinked, and caught sight of a large black object approaching
at speed, and flapping wildly. A moment later, he heard a loud thud, and was
amazed to see Simon H. Lee slam into the windshield, clinging desperately to
the car as he frantically pumped the breaks.
Aboard the _Highly Improbable_, Rimrunner took a swig from her hip-flask in
disdain.
And Drake just quacked.
"Guys," said an uncertain, half-familiar voice. "Hi. Gus Lopez here. I'm
having a little problem with a statue..."
***
The Jedi Hacker got groggily to his feet, and blinked as he saw his own
reflection in a shattered shard of steel. Running his hands across the
contours of his face, he felt a woozy disbelief as his entire identity
self-destructed, and forgotten memories clicked into place with the speed
and certainty of a Babbage calculator.
"XiangPi?" he asked.
***
Summary
- The Luddite Star is proceding to Planet RASSM on autopilot
- The Jedi Hacker has been replaced by the Jedi Haacker
- Someone masquerading as Gus Lopez wants his statue back
- The Jedi Hacker has been revealed to be the original C'Pi
Pol'
C'Pi
"Policrat'" <policr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:B940E38E.1C4%policr...@hotmail.com...
>
> - The Jedi Hacker has been revealed to be the original C'Pi
I've got a headache.
C'Pi
Policrat'
What do you expect... you've just been pushed out of your secret base by
your clone, landed head-first in a RASSM* City sub-basement, and discovered
that you've been suffering from amnesia and a really bad case of personality
disorder for several Sith Wars...
Of *course* you've got a headache! It's what you do with it that's
important!
> C'Pi
Pol'
C'Pi
But my HEAD is not attached to my BODY!!
C'Pi
Policrat'
>
> "Policrat'" <policr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:B9411305.273%policr...@hotmail.com...
>> Do not underestimate the power of the Dark C'Pi...
>>
>>>
>>> "Policrat'" <policr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>> news:B940E38E.1C4%policr...@hotmail.com...
>>>>
>>>> - The Jedi Hacker has been revealed to be the original C'Pi
>>>
>>> I've got a headache.
>>
>> What do you expect... you've just been pushed out of your secret base by
>> your clone, landed head-first in a RASSM* City sub-basement, and
>> discovered that you've been suffering from amnesia and a really bad case of
>> personality disorder for several Sith Wars...
>>
>> Of *course* you've got a headache! It's what you do with it that's
>> important!
>
> But my HEAD is not attached to my BODY!!
This is the Sith Wars. It's fuzzy logic. Get used to it. Ascribe it to an
act of caprice by the Force, or something. And welcome back.
=)
> C'Pi
Pol'
C'Pi
Next you'll be telling me Stinky Cheese Man I still alive.
C'Pi
Policrat'
I'm not *that* sick...
> C'Pi
Pol'