"Yes Sir, he got away with Drake, much of Drake's personal items, the
Steve McQueen collection, the Lobot cd, the Rassm Family Tree . . . He
then found your shrine and took away Sean Walsh."
"This would be most unfortunate had I not intentionally left the safe
open for him. Him taking Sean, however, was not part of my plan.
That Ewok in human form could pop up to annoy me at a later date.
However, we do still have Lord Ponte's Rassm Credit Card on file do we
not?"
Ulca checked his files. "We do Sir."
"Very good then, charge him quadruple for all the items he took. That
should come to about 3.2 million Rassm Credits, correct?"
"3,204,000 is my exact figuring's Sir." Ulca said looking at his
calculator.
"Add on 2 million more for Walsh. And charge his account now." The
Leader said.
"His account is now charged Sir. But what about the Auction?"
"Well, I guess I'll have to auction another Sith Warrior frozen in
Drake's place. And I have another Lobot cd and a set of Natalie's
nipple enhancers. I'll just offer them up. What Sith Warrior do I
have frozen that I can offer?"
"We have three who posted once and then faded away in the last war.
Two called themselves The Gamblers, they posted once and got a Gold
Star from . . . from the one whose name I refuse to say. After that
they disappeared. The names on file are Dark Lord Scammer and Dark
Lord Scarlet. The other was a Startled Tusken."
"Offer them in place of Drake and at a discount. Well, with that
done, time to give the auction update."
* * *
"Dear bidders, due to happenings beyond my control I must remove the
Rassm Family Tree and Frozen Drake from bidding. However I have a
replacement for Drake. With that said, a recap on the auctions.
"There is still no bids on the 'plots' to previous Sith Wars. This
item is a steal at 1,000 Rassm Credits. You buy it and you can
legally keep others from repeating storylines. I'd say it's a good
investment.
"Though originally thought stolen this morning, it has come to my
attention that the Steve McQueen collection was not stolen, but
instead a Steven Seagal collection was stolen. As such, the Steve
McQueen collection is still open to be bid upon for 250,000 Rassm
Credits.
"I'm combining two auctions for the D.O.L.L., since Anne showed
interest in Hayden's jock and the signed dvd of Ewan's performance in
'The Pillow Book' along with his home address. Since I'm combining
them I'm lowering the bid to 75,000 from it's 100,000 previous amount.
As it stands, Anne has the current high bid.
"Still up for bid is Wedge Antilles orange flight suit, another steal
at only 50,000 Rassm Credits. I'm sure some lucky AFWer would love
this item. Bid soon.
"After a heated bidding war between Muuurgh and Gumby, Porkin's flight
suit is now going for 65,000 Rassm Credits to Gumby. If you want this
for yourself, hurry up and bid. And feel free to specify how much
you're bidding on an item.
"After the unfortunate incident this morning where some of the auction
merchandise was stolen I went and dug into my personal collection to
bring another Autographed cd of 'Lobot's House Of Funk'. And as a
special bonus, I'll throw in an autographed and rare cd single of
Lobot singing both 'Lowrider' and 'Lowhover'. Again this item starts
at 1,000 Rassm Credits.
"The doubly autographed and officially endorsed George Foreman's
Anti-Griller is currently going to Muuurgh for 15,000. If anyone else
wants it, I urge you to bid now. Even with a new bid it's still going
to be a steal.
"Unfortunately Muuurgh's bid on Drake has been cancelled since he was
stolen. However, I'm offering three, yes THREE Sith Warriors, Dark
Lord Scammer, Dark Lord Scarlet and Startled Tusken, in Drake's place.
And for the same price as Drake, only 25,000 for three Sith Warriors.
That's quite a steal.
"The Purple 'Bad Mutha Fucka' lightsaber is still up for grabs, how
this item hasn't started a bidding war yet amazes me. At only 75,000
Rassm Credits how can you pass this up?
"Another item I'm personally replacing is the nipple implants Natalie
Portman used in 'Attack Of The Clones'. There are only three sets of
these in existence. One set was stolen this morning from me, one set
is here in auction and the final set is, and shall remain, in my
private collection. I did have two sets, but to bring YOU, my public,
what you want, I am letting go of a pair. For only 25,000 for the
set, how can you pass up something that was attached to the Lovely
Miss Portman's nipples?
"In addition to previous items I am putting up another very special
item. Some may be familiar with this, but for those who aren't . . .
This is a Bongsaber. For those who don't know, it's a modified
lightsaber made so that you can have a toke while you smoke some
Sith's ass. Fully working and comes with fresh water and some
medicinal herbs to be used with it. Bidding on this item starts at
150,000 Rassm Credits.
"Thank you all who have bid and will bid, it means a great deal to me
and my cause." The Leader says before shutting off the channel again.
* * *
"That went well Sir." Ulca says from his prostrate position.
"Yes, it did. However now I must handle things with Lord Ponte. Send
him a message for me, tell him it was a bold move stealing the Rassm
Family Tree like that, but it won't help him. Let him know that I
know the only person who knows how to destroy it. And that my
information won't come cheaply." The Leader said.
"Yes Sir, message is composed and sent."
"We have the Drake DNA I was working on, don't we Ulca?" The Leader
asked.
"Yes Sir, the scientists have all that you requested ready."
"Excellent." The Leader said before stepping over to a private com
unit and keying in a secret set of numbers. A face popped up on
screen and The Leader removed his mask, with his back to the viewer's
minds eye. "Hey Joe, I need you to send me some of the Ultimate's
Pre-Origin's sent here please. CA and PP need to be active, the
others can be on ice for now. How soon can you have them here?"
"Well B . . . Boss, they'll be there before your next post. So,
you're going through with this asinine plan?" Joe asked.
"Yes I am, because I'm in charge. Now send them." The Leader said,
putting his mask back on and disconnecting the com unit. "Ulca," he
said after he turned around, "I need you to contact a Dark Technomage
and to prepare my Quantum Singularity Interlaced Multi-Dimensionally
Shielded Matrix. It's time I take out an insurance policy."
"Sir, you can't be thinking of summoning forth that . . . creature,
can you?" Ulca asked fearfully.
"I very much am thinking it. Now get do it, things are now in
motion." The Leader said as he smirled behind his mask. "Soon I
shall be the truest enemy of the people. If I can not be famous and
loved, I shall be infamous and hated."
_______
Summary:
The Leader looks over what Lord Ponte had stolen and revealed he had,
for the most part, allowed it to happen.
The Auction was updated.
The Leader sent a message to Lord Ponte.
The Leader called in a 'Joe' for some creatures to be shipped and is
summoning a Dark Technomage in preparation of doing something evil.
1000 credits for the plotline "trap enemy in an alternate reality".
The Jedi Hacker
>
> "After a heated bidding war between Muuurgh and Gumby, Porkin's flight
> suit is now going for 65,000 Rassm Credits to Gumby. If you want this
> for yourself, hurry up and bid. And feel free to specify how much
> you're bidding on an item.
I bid 150,000.00 credits!!!
>
>
> "Unfortunately Muuurgh's bid on Drake has been cancelled since he was
> stolen. However, I'm offering three, yes THREE Sith Warriors, Dark
> Lord Scammer, Dark Lord Scarlet and Startled Tusken, in Drake's place.
> And for the same price as Drake, only 25,000 for three Sith Warriors.
> That's quite a steal.
>
Mr. Leader, I don't think you should auction that which you don not not
have!
I demand that the 25,000.00 RASSM Credits that I bid, be paid by you, to the
Bounty Hunter who brings the Jedi Hacker's head incased in carbonite to me
at the Hall of Ham.
On top of the 25,000 that the Leader will pay, I will pay an additional
975,000.00 RASSM Credits for the bounty.
This bounty is good. I can pay, for this is at the request of the Emperor
himself.
-Muuurgh
<snip>
>
>"Politically Correct Star Wars Fan" <pcsta...@hotmail.com> wrote in
>message news:838adea7.03013...@posting.google.com...
>
>>
>> "After a heated bidding war between Muuurgh and Gumby, Porkin's flight
>> suit is now going for 65,000 Rassm Credits to Gumby. If you want this
>> for yourself, hurry up and bid. And feel free to specify how much
>> you're bidding on an item.
>
>I bid 150,000.00 credits!!!
*silence from the empty chair that still holds Gumby's massive buttprint*
>> "Unfortunately Muuurgh's bid on Drake has been cancelled since he was
>> stolen. However, I'm offering three, yes THREE Sith Warriors, Dark
>> Lord Scammer, Dark Lord Scarlet and Startled Tusken, in Drake's place.
>> And for the same price as Drake, only 25,000 for three Sith Warriors.
>> That's quite a steal.
>
>Mr. Leader, I don't think you should auction that which you don not not
>have!
>I demand that the 25,000.00 RASSM Credits that I bid, be paid by you, to the
>Bounty Hunter who brings the Jedi Hacker's head incased in carbonite to me
>at the Hall of Ham.
>
>On top of the 25,000 that the Leader will pay, I will pay an additional
>975,000.00 RASSM Credits for the bounty.
>
>This bounty is good. I can pay, for this is at the request of the Emperor
>himself.
>
>-Muuurgh
><snip>
Gumby
--
"I think my brain hurts"
-- Prof. C.H. Gumby, from I, Gumby
Wait, is that a bid!? That flight suit is gonna look pretty good on me.
-Muuurgh
Ponte closes the commlink and moves to his newly stolen Steven Segal
Collection.
"Now what the hell am I going to do with "Dalai Llama for Dummies"
autographed by Steven Segal!"
--
Long Live Salacious Crumb....
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight,
who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I
mean, really, it was half-witted." -Christopher Lee
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
"Politically Correct Star Wars Fan" <pcsta...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:838adea7.03013...@posting.google.com...
Jedi Hacker
> I've a head, used, battle dammaged
>
HAHA! I told you that's why his posts were so F***ed, C'Pi. Pay up now!
Jade
> Jedi Hacker
>
>
>"Darth Gumby" <Darth...@notmail.com> wrote in message
>news:ja4m3vkald0d9gjn6...@4ax.com...
>> On Fri, 31 Jan 2003 17:28:03 -0600, -Dr. Stryangepjörk transmitted this:
>>
>> >
>> >"Politically Correct Star Wars Fan" <pcsta...@hotmail.com> wrote in
>> >message news:838adea7.03013...@posting.google.com...
>> >
>> >>
>> >> "After a heated bidding war between Muuurgh and Gumby, Porkin's flight
>> >> suit is now going for 65,000 Rassm Credits to Gumby. If you want this
>> >> for yourself, hurry up and bid. And feel free to specify how much
>> >> you're bidding on an item.
>> >
>> >I bid 150,000.00 credits!!!
>>
>> *silence from the empty chair that still holds Gumby's massive buttprint*
>
>Wait, is that a bid!? That flight suit is gonna look pretty good on me.
I don't think so, unless the chair also wants it. I'm missing and very pissed
that I missed the rest of the auction.
>-Muuurgh
Gumby
>> >> "Unfortunately Muuurgh's bid on Drake has been cancelled since he was
>> >> stolen. However, I'm offering three, yes THREE Sith Warriors, Dark
>> >> Lord Scammer, Dark Lord Scarlet and Startled Tusken, in Drake's place.
>> >> And for the same price as Drake, only 25,000 for three Sith Warriors.
>> >> That's quite a steal.
>> >
>> >Mr. Leader, I don't think you should auction that which you don not not
>> >have!
>> >I demand that the 25,000.00 RASSM Credits that I bid, be paid by you, to
>the
>> >Bounty Hunter who brings the Jedi Hacker's head incased in carbonite to
>me
>> >at the Hall of Ham.
>> >
>> >On top of the 25,000 that the Leader will pay, I will pay an additional
>> >975,000.00 RASSM Credits for the bounty.
>> >
>> >This bounty is good. I can pay, for this is at the request of the
>Emperor
>> >himself.
>> >
>> >-Muuurgh
>> ><snip>