[Sith War 2002] Star Versus Star...
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
conference. The purpose of this is to iron out the details of thier
impending alliance. He and his lackey, Sean Walsh sit in thier Burrito
starship.
"Sean, are all systems operational aboard my Death Star?"
"Yes sir, All the replacement parts are installed and it is back in it's
original state, before Drake's uh....upgrade."
"Excellent, Leave it on autopilot until my meeting with the leader is over."
Sean is about to enter the commands into the computer when A Polyhedral
Death Star enters orbit around Rassm!
"Sweet Merciful Gonk!"
"What is it Walsh...hey! What do you mean- 'sweet merciful Gonk?!!!'"
"Ooops."
"Are you an in the clost Gonkite?"
"No!"
"You sure?"
"I swear...let's try it again: Sweet Merciful PONTE!! better?
"Much. Now, what is the commotion about?"
"Another Death Star has entered the system!"
"This system isn't big enough for the two of us! Dock with My Ship. Now
henceforth to be known as the Ponte Star!"
Thier Burrito leaves orbit and joins with the Ponte Star. Ponte and Walsh
enter the Overbridge and are saluted by thier crew of Mexican C'Pi clones.
"Sean, our manpower was severely depleted by the explosion abord this ship.
Order some more Clones immediately."
"What kind?"
"I'm sick of these El C'Pi's. Order us some Beatrice Arthurs..."
"Consider it done...SIR! The Polyhedral Death Star is sending a message!"
"Put it on screen"
An R5 droid appears on the screen, wearing General's stripes.
"Wierd...a Death Star Commander with General's stripes! I would have thought
it to be an Admiral..."
"Hush, it's about to speak. Adjust the computer to translate it's language."
The R5 General speaks.
"Your new lord and master has arrived, and orders you to report to local
government facilities for registration and assignment."
"Hey! Who does this piece of crap think it is?! We are having an election
next week to decide who is Lord and Master of Rassm!"
"Apparantly this droid feels that it can just barge into the system and
declare itself Lord."
"Well Walsh, It is time to teach this bugger a lesson it will not soon
forget! Patch me through."
"R5-P1 speaking. Are you prepared to surrender your vessel?"
"Yeah, right. I am Michael Ponte: Love Machine, Sith Lord, and President of
ISGLE. It is YOU whom shall surrender!"
"I am now the Master of Rassm. You shall submit to me."
"Did no one tell you about the election?"
"Election?"
"Yes. It was decided to hold an election the first week of September to
decide who would be Lord of Rassm. These Sith Wars need rules ya know."
"How does one enter this election"
"Do you want your name on the ballot?"
"Possibly..."
"I'll take that as a yes. All you have to do is come over the transmission
band and announce your intentions as a candidate."
"Hmmm. I shall think on this. R5-P1 out."
R5's Death Star pulls into a standard orbit as it decides whether or not to
enter the race or attack. Ponte sits back in his command chair.
"This is getting bad man."
Walsh approaches his lord.
"These events should be told to the Leader immediately. The entry of another
Sith Warrior could upset the balance completely."
"Yes, I agree. Wait a minute...something is going on down in Rassm City!"
"Yes sir! The Haacker is attacking the Porkinite leadership!"
"Hmmm, this could be funny."
"Mike, you can't let that f'ed up thing kill the Porkinites."
"Why?"
"It's not fair, that's why!"
"Fair?! This is a Sith War!"
"You told R5-P1 that there were certain rules that must be followed in the
event of a Sith War. You need to follow these rules."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Fine, fine. I can't leave the Ponte Star right now with that crazy Droid
out there. Send...The LOVE MACHINE II!!!!"
"Excuse me sir, gotta go to the bathroom."
"Fine, fine."
Sean exits the bridge and enters the necessary. He opens his zipper and
whips out.....a transmitting device?!
"Are you there sir?"
A mysterious voice comes out of Sean's pants.
"Yes Sean. You have done well."
"I have good news. War is about to begin. Ponte is sticking his nose into
Porkinite/Haacker business."
"Excellent. Keep him on this course. It will hasten his downfall..."
---
A small Chaulpa Drone exits the Ponte Star and enters the Atmosphere of
Rassm. It enters the confines of Rassm City and soft lands outside of the
Hall of Ham. 5 tiny Ponte droids exit the drone and enter the busted door of
the Hall. Standing there is the Jedi Haacker lightsaber ready to duel with
Jade. The 5 droids begin to emit the theme song from Voltron. All present
stop to stare at the little Pontes. The all jump into the air and form into
one big Droid in the image of Ponte.
"I am LM2. Emissary of Lord Michael Ponte. He asks that you cease and desist
from this action."
The Haacker approaches the Droid.
"He cannot stop me!"
"Don't be so sure!"
LM2 draws a lightsaber and faces the twisted Haacker....
---
SUMMARY:
The Ponte Star is ready and operational.
Ponte has temporarily halted R5-P1's assault as the droid considers entering
the election.
Sean Walsh has talked Ponte into getting involved in the Porkinite/Haacker
conflict- he sends his droid LM2 to fight for him.
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
Peter Hanely
>
> SUMMARY:
> The Ponte Star is ready and operational.
> Ponte has temporarily halted R5-P1's assault as the droid considers entering
> the election.
> Sean Walsh has talked Ponte into getting involved in the Porkinite/Haacker
> conflict- he sends his droid LM2 to fight for him.
>
> --
> Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
> super...@attbi.com
>
R5-P1 considered the matter for several miliseconds, then opened a
channel to enter the election. Things would be easier if it was
acknowledged as rightfull Master of RASSM, or at least had a single
clear opponent to defeat in battle. It's name added to the ballot,
R5-P1 began cracking into the election computer. No doubt everyone else
would be trying to rig the election. Why should it be different?
Meanwhile, droids traveled to all recognised government facilities to
register and 'inoculate' supporters.
--
The Jedi Hacker
"Strike me down and I'll become more powerfull than you can imagine."
C'Pi
"Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:drua9.91820$aA.18054@sccrnsc02...
Aw man, replaced by Bea Arthur. That's tight.
C'Pi
Sean Walsh
news:akeo27$1hn0gk$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
>
> "Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
> news:drua9.91820$aA.18054@sccrnsc02...
>
> Aw man, replaced by Bea Arthur. That's tight.
You have my condolences...
--
Sean
Sean-Walsh.com!!! Just guess the URL...
New Gods Library: http://fastbak.tripod.com
Quantum Piett! http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
My latest eBay auctions: http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/slwalsh/
¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø