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Retro TR of sorts: Surviving the Beginnings

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Guillaume Dargaud

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Sep 26, 2002, 3:26:35 PM9/26/02
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Surviving the Beginnings

Note: this is a compilation of some true events, but I will vehemently deny
any of them having really happened. Anyway the truth has been enhanced
beyond recognition to make it more entertaining. (Maybe...)

I have added it on my website with a couple old pictures:
http://www.gdargaud.net/Climbing/Beginner.html

And here's just the text for the http challenged:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's start...

Dear Parents,
I arrived at the University and it's great. I don't know yet about the
studying, but they have plenty of clubs like scuba diving, rock climbing,
parachuting, knitting (just kidding') and more. I think I'm going to try
them all. Don't worry that they are risky, there's no one left in those
clubs who had an accident before.
Talk to you later.

Dear Parents,
I started the activities with the climbing club. They have a climbing wall
and it's great, but on the second time I went I fell and broke a finger. No
one had told me to remove my fingers from the pocket holes when falling.
Bummer. I think I'll stick to scuba diving.
Regards.

Dear Parents, Well, after the scuba diving accident (don't worry, the red in
my my eyes should go away in a month or so) I think I'll stick to climbing.
Diving just looks too dangerous: a valve gets stuck deep down and if your
co-divers don't see you, you're a goner. At least with climbing, if you
don't let go you can't fall off...
I discovered bouldering and it's so much more interesting than gym climbing.
At least you are alone in the woods without anyone to bother you.
Say 'Hi!' to the cat for me.

Dear Pop, Dear Ma',
Yesterday I started to lead. The leader is the guy who climb first to put
the rope up for the others. It's more interesting but also more...
challenging. So we were climbing on this old abandoned bridge where plenty
of climbers go. Two of my more experienced friends tried to do this 6a route
and got pumped. They left quickdraws halfway up and someone had to retrieve
them... or to finish the lead. They were both telling me that I'd top-roped
enough in the gym and I could do that climb. I took my first lead fall a few
minutes later. And I'll be damned if rope burns aren't worse than paper
cuts. But leading is a lot more interesting than bouldering, at least you
get to see some scenery (if you have the time).
Please send money a harness, those sling harnesses are not too comfortable,
even when I remember how to tie them up properly.
Bye for now, I can't sit down for too long.

Hi All,
Today I was late for the lessons, as yesterday a friend got hurt while
bouldering near the University. He fell about 50cm while climbing alone and
hit his arm against a tree stump. Broke his elbow. He manage to drive
himself to the Emergency Room but I had to go pick him up this morning. The
guy in the same room had been run over by a car and had tire threads on this
chest. Don't worry too much about climbing risks, I've checked the
statistics and one is 10 times more likely to die in a car accident than a a
climbing accident, so I'm safe.
By the way, this WE we are going climbing in the Alps: driving all night on
friday, climb on saturday and sunday and drive back sunday night. Should be
a fun WE.
Bye.

Hi folks,
That was a great WE. I started mountain climbing, it's much better than
sport climbing ! We were on the Courtes and we did the same route as where
Joe Simpsons fell off. But don't worry, he's a guy who falls a lot, and no
he's not a friend but a crazy Englishman. II wasn't too comfortable, partly
because I was climbing in ski boots, and I had borrowed crampons and axes.
The axe belongs to a friend's grandfather and has a wooden shaft, but it's
obviously been through a lot already as it has no teeth left. Or maybe it
never had any.
Please send money for axes and crampons.
Talk to you later.

Dear parents,
This WE we went back to the Alps and it was my 2nd time mountain climbing
ever. And my first unplanned bivy.
Please send money for pile jacket, gore tex, real climbing boots, stretch
pants, gloves, balaclava and more, as my blue-Jeans, grandma's wool sweater
and my K-way weren't quite enough to keep me warm after we got lost in the
storm and got soaked to the bones by the wet snow. At least in the morning
we were dry (as ice is considered dry).
PS: if the university complains of hot water abuse in my dorm, it's just
that it took me a couple of days to warm back up.

Hi Mom, Hi Dad,
Mountain climbing is just long long walks in snow carrying a big pack, and
the only interesting part is often the schrund (provided you don't fall in
it like last WE); ice climbing is more fun. Just find some frozen waterfall
and climb it. We don't know anyone else who does that but it's fun. And it's
a pleasant egoistical feeling to climbing such an ephemeral thing: it wasn't
there last summer and it won't be there in a couple more weeks. Or sometimes
less, as one of the waterfall collapsed 10 minutes after we bailed off of
it... It's amazing how loud ice can be when it crashes down hundreds of
meters of couloir.
PS: I'm still waiting for the money for the axes: I broke the tip of the old
wooden one and it was way hard to finish the route with one hand... I also
need a new pair of gloves as a piece of falling ice cut right through mine.
Bye, bye...

Hi you all,
For New Years we went to a refuge lost high up in the mountains. We carried
packs worthy of a Sherpa, with Champaign bottles and live oysters in
addition to all the climbing gear. We got drunk and then all went climbing
on the walls above the refuge. Some without headlamps, and one with a candle
between his teeth. Sleeping out drunk at this altitude is not too
comfortable, particularly when you can't see how to get down from the ledge.
And you are butt naked... Noooo, that wasn't me but I won't tell...
See yah.

Hello again,
Back in Chamonix. I'm waiting in the ER room for the doc to finish
sterilizing my partner's butt. He was wearing shorts when he tried to 'ski'
a neve in his running shoes. He fell off the steeper section at the bottom
and scrapped his butt on the old dirty ice at the base. I spent 20 minutes
with the pliers from the Swiss army knife to remove most of the pebbles
under the incredulous stare of hikers on the trail below.
We'll stop bye as we drive back. Make sure there's a pillow handy.

Dear Parents,
As spring is coming we wanted to do some long rock routes. We chose the
wrong place as it was north facing and covered with ice. After 3 pitches we
bailed as we had to climb on ice with bare hands and my rope got cut by
something (a sharp edge ?). We managed to finish the rappels with only a few
strands on one side.
Please send money for a new rope.

Hello from the Verdon,
Here's an Easter postcard from the Verdon, one of the most famous cliff in
the world: as high as many mountain routes, as steep as a sport cliff. It's
a peculiar place, 'cause you have to rappel down on one of the ledges that
split the cliff halfway up, and climb up from there. So it's committing
since in some places you can't even go down. We must have chosen the wrong
place as we couldn't find the route we wanted to climb. After trying several
dead ends we tried to climb back up the rappel route. Both my more
experienced partners tried it and bailed after they saw you couldn't place
any gear in the 40 meter chimney. Finally I tried it and ran the pitch out
to the belay. The hardest part was the last two meters, as the shaking was
getting real bad. They paid me the beer in the evening and said that from
now on I could climb with them (before I had to sneak in their car in the
morning otherwise they would just 'forget' me...).
Bye for now.

Still in the Verdon,
It's not quite true that all routes start from halfway up. I discovered one
route, La Demande, that starts from the base and since it's the same grade
than what I climb in the gym I decided to go. The only partner I could find
was a beginner, but he did alright. Granted I had to Z-pulley him up the
last 7 pitches. The pitches where it was raining. But limestone is not too
slippery when wet, so we had a good time.
'later.

Yet another postcard from the Verdon,
This place is great, there's so much to do a week won't be enough... We
climbed the Ula, another route that starts from the base. While we were on
it we got passed by two old timers who were cruising up. They weren't even
belaying each others but they were wearing helmets. As they passed one told
us that we should be wearing them as well: he removed his and showed us a
caved in hole as big as a fist inside his skull. 'Rock' he said and
disappeared up.
Please send money for helmet, even thought the rock in Verdon is excellent
and nothing falls off. At least it will protect us from dropped gear and
stupid tourists throwing beer cans from the rim.
Bye.

Howdy from the US !
That exchange student stuff is awesome. I'm learning to 'have some fun' at
night during the week. Did you know that not only beer is bad in the US, it
is also illegal, at least till you are 5 years above the driving age ?
Anyway my exchange student is not a climber but I met some and we went to a
place called Seneca which is like a book balanced on its binding. They have
crazy ethics out here: no bolts. They put pieces of metal in the cracks for
protection. On our first route (Triple-S) my partner bailed halfway up and
told me to finish the pitch. It's more time consuming and tiring and
insecure and risky. I think I like it.
See you.

Hello Mom, Hello Dad,
There's not much climbing in Maryland so to practice we do 'buildering',
climbing on buildings. As we were doing that in the University which was
deserted for the summer, a cop car starting driving around all the buildings
we'd climbed before, so we just hunkered down and ran off later.
PS: will you bail me out of jail if I get caugh ?

Hi all,
On the 2d WE I went climbing in New York in auto-stop. No, not the
buildings, a place called the Gunks farther west with great horizontaly
structured rock. I hooked up with an old army guy and his 20 year old rack.
All he had were 9 hexes. Let me tell you how scary it was to lead routes
with only this stuff. I couldn't use any of it and people at the base were
taking bets on how deep the crater would be.
Please send money, I need to buy a rack.
I'll be home soon.

A postcard from Switzerland,
I'm writing this from the little train that takes us to the base of the
North face of the Eiger. We think that after one year of climbing we are
ready to tackle more interesting problems like this... It does look big
though. Don't worry, I just subscribed to a rescue insurance.
Talk to you later...

--
Guillaume Dargaud
Colorado State University - Dept of Atmospheric Science
http://www.gdargaud.net/
"Different kinds of climbers:
Novice - Someone (often dead) who should be kept off the mountains at all
costs.
Experienced climber - Someone whose death was unavoidable.
Alpine Club Member - Someone who never dies but slowly fades away."


D a v i d E m r i c h

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Sep 26, 2002, 4:00:56 PM9/26/02
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"Guillaume Dargaud" <news_co...@gdargaud.net> wrote in message news:3d93...@news.ColoState.EDU...
> Surviving the Beginnings
>
Nice "Retro TR of sorts," Thanks!!
David

Melissa

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Sep 26, 2002, 4:16:12 PM9/26/02
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Guillaume Dargaud wrote:

"I'm waiting in the ER room for the doc to finish
sterilizing my partner's butt."

Thanks for the fun lunchtime story!k

Melissa

Mad Dog

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Sep 26, 2002, 5:16:00 PM9/26/02
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I'd like to nominate this for '02 Greatest Hits.

Don't worry, Mom. Guiaumme's gonna be awright.

Andy Gale

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Sep 30, 2002, 4:03:55 PM9/30/02
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Guillaume Dargaud wrote:
> Surviving the Beginnings
>
> Note: this is a compilation of some true events, but I will vehemently deny
> any of them having really happened. Anyway the truth has been enhanced
> beyond recognition to make it more entertaining. (Maybe...)

Very nice. Thanks.

Andy


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