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Sid

unread,
Dec 17, 2003, 12:26:21 PM12/17/03
to
It's the Return Of The King!

I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will write
about the show tomorrow evening.

Sid
--
sid at nerte dot net
http://www.nerte.net

steven

unread,
Dec 17, 2003, 5:33:36 PM12/17/03
to
And Sid spoke thusly to rec.humor.oracle.d:

> It's the Return Of The King!

So Aragorn develops a Southern twang and re-invents rock and roll
music?

Wow, talk about a departure from the source material.

I suppose I should put spoiler tags up above, but ... nah, too lazy.

--
steven j cossey, esquire < > Replace "spam" with "smap" to reply
"The potential of having part of my car's drive-train functioning as a
pr0n server is both intellectually fascinating and metaphysically
disturbing."
- Steed, in the Monastery

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 17, 2003, 9:08:29 PM12/17/03
to
Sid wrote...

>
> It's the Return Of The King!
>
> I just saw it today. Truly amazing. Will write about the show
> tomorrow evening.

Please be VERY careful with your spoilers[1]. It doesn't open in
Australia until Boxing Day (26 December).

At least it's Boxing Day 2003, I s'pose.

> I need to sleep now.

What, all that cricket excitement keeping you up?

Go Bharat!

Richard F.

[1] Not about the storyline so much, as about all the neat stuff the
movie is sure to have.

TechnoAtheist

unread,
Dec 17, 2003, 11:46:35 PM12/17/03
to
On 17 Dec 2003 18:08:29 -0800, a group of monkeys who have a really
bad jewelry fetish claiming to be ossi...@hotmail.com (Richard
Fitzpatrick) wrote:


Sauron dies.

Although I did find the dance number at the end a bit distracting.

--
unitedHeroes.net
Five Stories, Four Authors, Three Minds.

The RHOD Links http://www.unitedheroes.net/links/

Sid

unread,
Dec 18, 2003, 10:03:13 AM12/18/03
to
Sid <no...@hotmail.com> writes:

> It's the Return Of The King!
>
> I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will write
> about the show tomorrow evening.

Warning (for Richard and others who may want to watch this movie
"fresh"):

The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.

T
H
I
S

S
P
A
C
E

L
E
F
T

F
O
R

S
P
O
N
S
E
R
S

Preliminary :
i. Empty your bladders before watching the movie. Go twice if you have
to. It's 3 hours and 20 minutes long. Plus the credits.
ii. If your cinema hall doesn't have a good sound system, find one that
does.
iii.

Single-word synopsis :
Mind-blowing. Okay, so that's two words.

This movie was completely worth the wait. And more. All the reviews that
you may read about Return Of The King being a masterpiece - well, they
aren't that far from the truth.

Visual :
i. Gollum still continues to amaze me. The facial expressions, the
interaction with "real" objects, it's amazing. There's one particular
scene where he talks with his reflection which is particularly well
done.
ii. Minas Tirith is beautifully done. Most of it is CGI of course. But,
like much of the rest of the movie, it is impossible to tell where the
real ends and the computer-generated begins. Our first look at Minas
Tirith, when Gandalf and Pippin ride up the seven levels on Shadowfax is
breathtaking.
iii. All the creatures - the winged-steeds of the Nazgul, the
Oliphaunts, the dead are very realistic. One which stands out is
Shelob. The scariest spider I have seen on-screen.
iv. The seige of Gondor and the Battle of Pelennor Fields are every bit
as big and even bigger than the battle of Helm's Deep.
v. The Black Gate, Cirith Ungol, Mount Doom and Mordor are chilling.

Audio :
i. The soundtrack fits perfectly with the narration. There's one
particular instance, when Pippin sings for Denethor, while Faramir and
his men ride out to Osgiliath, which is especially moving.
ii. The shrieks and the screams of the winged-beasts are something
else.
iii. It's a LOUD movie.

Plot and continuity :
As expected, the story is not exactly in sequence, but is more or less
so.
i. The Shelob sequence from The Two Towers is incorporated into
ROTK. (just before Cirith Ungol)
ii. The Pyre of Denethor is present, the houses of healing are not.
iii. The Palantir sequence from Isildur is also present in ROTK.
iv. There is NO Saruman in this movie. Not in the flooding of Isildur
nor at the end, nor in the credits.
v. Which means, there is NO scouring of the shire. In fact, I don't
think it was even shot.
vi. The Grey Havens scene is there. Peter Jackson has taken a lot of
trouble to wrap up the trilogy completely and resisted the urge to just
end the film after the ring is destroyed.
vii. The houses of healing are not there in the movie.
viii. Minor Quibble - the scene when Aragorn arrives in the ships into
the Fields of Pelennor, doesn't show his standard.
ix. There's a small bit about how Smeagol got the ring right in the
beginning of the movie.


Acting :
i. Gollum steals just about every scene he's in. (Andy Serkis gets a
little bit of screen time at the beginning)
ii. Sean Astin's Sam is probably the best performance in the whole
movie. Ian McKellan is amazing as usual.
iii. The rest turned out good performances. Nothing stood out as being a
bad bit of acting.

I must have missed out a lot of things. Too tired to continue. Will add
more if I remember anything.

Sid, is seeing it at again on Saturday

Sid

unread,
Dec 18, 2003, 10:06:16 AM12/18/03
to
ossi...@hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) writes:

> Sid wrote...
> >
> > It's the Return Of The King!
> >
> > I just saw it today. Truly amazing. Will write about the show
> > tomorrow evening.
>
> Please be VERY careful with your spoilers[1]. It doesn't open in
> Australia until Boxing Day (26 December).
>
> At least it's Boxing Day 2003, I s'pose.

Hmmm, don't read my second post on this topic then. It contains
spoilers.


> > I need to sleep now.
>
> What, all that cricket excitement keeping you up?

No television telecast here. :-( I have been following it on the net and
on radio.

> Go Bharat!

Any chance of getting tickets for the Boxing day test? I happen to be
free around then and I am feeling crazy enough to fly over for it.

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 18, 2003, 3:59:54 PM12/18/03
to
[Posted & mailed]

Sid wrote...


> Richard Fitzpatrick writes:
> > Sid wrote...
> > >
> > > It's the Return Of The King!
> > >
> > > I just saw it today. Truly amazing. Will write about the
> > > show tomorrow evening.
> >
> > Please be VERY careful with your spoilers[1]. It doesn't
> > open in Australia until Boxing Day (26 December).
>

> Hmmm, don't read my second post on this topic then. It contains
> spoilers.

Silly, SILLY, Sid.

> > Go Bharat!
>
> Any chance of getting tickets for the Boxing day test? I happen to be
> free around then and I am feeling crazy enough to fly over for it.

After Steve Waugh announcing his retirement? You gotta be kidding. BUT...

...I *do* have tickets to the second day (Saturday) New Years Day Test in
Sydney. Steve Waugh's last hurrah, etc, etc, etc. Got 'em eight weeks ago
with about 25 friends. If you guarantee you're coming, I'll see if I can
talk someone into coughing up their ticket.
--
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti bowls maiden overs.


Ian Davis

unread,
Dec 18, 2003, 6:14:18 PM12/18/03
to
In article <3fe21525$0$1735$5a62...@freenews.iinet.net.au>,
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> wrote:

> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti bowls maiden overs.

It's your silly point I'm worried about.

Ian.

Sid

unread,
Dec 18, 2003, 6:55:38 PM12/18/03
to
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:

> [Posted & mailed]

> > Hmmm, don't read my second post on this topic then. It contains
> > spoilers.
>
> Silly, SILLY, Sid.

ITYM, "Silly sid. Silly sad sid. Silly sick sad sid."


> > Any chance of getting tickets for the Boxing day test? I happen to be
> > free around then and I am feeling crazy enough to fly over for it.
>
> After Steve Waugh announcing his retirement? You gotta be kidding. BUT...
>
> ...I *do* have tickets to the second day (Saturday) New Years Day Test in
> Sydney. Steve Waugh's last hurrah, etc, etc, etc. Got 'em eight weeks ago
> with about 25 friends. If you guarantee you're coming, I'll see if I can
> talk someone into coughing up their ticket.

Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I can get away for the Sydney
test. Also, I wouldn't want any friend of yours to miss seeing Steve
Waugh lose his last test. :-p

> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti bowls maiden overs.

To bowl a maiden over:

i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
ii. Move fine leg to square leg.

Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

Joseph B. W. Shane

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 1:21:33 AM12/19/03
to
Sid wrote:

> Sid <no...@hotmail.com> writes:
>
>
>>It's the Return Of The King!
>>
>>I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will write
>>about the show tomorrow evening.
>
>
> Warning (for Richard and others who may want to watch this movie
> "fresh"):
>
> The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
> plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.

<snip>


> ii. Minas Tirith is beautifully done. Most of it is CGI of course. But,

(SHH!)
<snip>

TimC

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 1:59:38 AM12/19/03
to
Sid (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

> "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:
>
>> [Posted & mailed]
>
>> > Hmmm, don't read my second post on this topic then. It contains
>> > spoilers.
>>
>> Silly, SILLY, Sid.
>
> ITYM, "Silly sid. Silly sad sid. Silly sick sad sid."

Gee, that was a long time ago.
Yay! I started a meme!



>> Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti bowls maiden overs.
>
> To bowl a maiden over:
>
> i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
> ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>
> Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

AHBOUed.

--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
Press any key to continue, any other key to abort
-- thrillbert's code

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 4:36:31 AM12/19/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Sid said:

; The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,

;
; Acting :


; i. Gollum steals just about every scene he's in. (Andy Serkis gets a
; little bit of screen time at the beginning)
; ii. Sean Astin's Sam is probably the best performance in the whole
; movie. Ian McKellan is amazing as usual.
; iii. The rest turned out good performances. Nothing stood out as being a
; bad bit of acting.

My biggest quibble is that this time around, they didn't get the
Hobbit/Human scaling right. There are several scenes where they showed
Merry&Pippen or Frodo against a human, shot from the back. I could
easily tell that the Hobbits were played by children.

Samwise Gamgee is the true hero of the quest to destroy the ring, not
Frodo. He's the only one who had the option to turn back but kept
going.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"Boom. Boom boom boom. Boom boom. Boom! Have a nice day." (Lt.
Cmdr. Ivanova, B5 "A Voice In The Wilderness II")

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 4:21:11 PM12/19/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> Samwise Gamgee is the true hero of the quest to destroy the ring, not


> Frodo. He's the only one who had the option to turn back but kept
> going.

But that's essentially the same as it was in the story. Frodo's character
develops early on, when he becomes resigned to his fate as the ring
bearer. Sam's character development is all about self-confidence, courage,
and trusting himself. The true crisis moment is in the chapter called "The
Choices of Master Samwise," which I think they managed to capture very
well.

--
Putain de 2CV
"Well, surely he's got something significant to put there *now*" -- Screwtape

René Torenstra

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 7:58:46 PM12/19/03
to
Sid chiseled on that clay tablet called usenet:

>It's the Return Of The King!
>
>I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will write
>about the show tomorrow evening.
>
>Sid

I can't wait. I have a movie date after christmas, but can barely
resist the urge to go and see it on my own first.
(Shh... I am a role-playing freak on a MUSH. Yeah, point and laugh.
Lamathinn doesn't care.)
In RL I am a musician, though, and sometimes play at weddings. A few
years ago we played at the wedding of a guy named Frodo. Born in the
late 60s, obviously.
He must have hated his parents when the sentence "Will you take this
ring..." was spoken and a frantic murmuring could be heard in the
crowd.
I don't remember her name, but the bride didn't look like Elrond. Or
Arwen, unfortunately.

René Torenstra
--
Remove 2nd and 3rd _ for mail.
http://home.wanadoo.nl/r.toremstra
This message has been scanned for signs of intelligence.
None were found.

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 19, 2003, 8:00:35 PM12/19/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:

; Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:

Sorry, I didn't read the book. I was waiting for the movie. :)

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"They're killing us! Can anyone hear me?!? They're killing us! Can
anyone out there hear me!?! Can anyone help us!?! This is Commander
Susan Ivanova of Babylon 5, to any ships in Grid Epsilon. We're under
attack! I repeat we're under attack! (Cmdr. Ivanova, B5 [alternate
future] "War Without End, Pt. 1")

Donald Welsh

unread,
Dec 20, 2003, 12:47:45 AM12/20/03
to
In article <u8yl9p...@hotmail.com>, Sid wrote:
> To bowl a maiden over:
>
> i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
> ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>
> Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

iii. Forget your deodorant.

Richard Wilson

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 7:26:35 AM12/21/03
to
In article <u8yl9p...@hotmail.com>, Sid <no...@hotmail.com> writes

>
>To bowl a maiden over:
>
>i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
>ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>
>Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

Neither can I, but I think stroking the ball down to gully comes into it
somewheres.

-Richard Wilson-*----*----*-----*---richard killfiled, use rwilson-
--*----*---*---*-who's always getting trapped with his leg before--

Sid

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 1:04:36 PM12/21/03
to
Sid <no...@hotmail.com> writes:

> It's the Return Of The King!
>
> I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will write
> about the show tomorrow evening.

Saw it again on Saturday, and then again tonight.

Sid, three should be enough for now

Ian Davis

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 8:51:35 PM12/21/03
to
"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:
>
> To bowl a maiden over:
>
> i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
> ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>
> Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

I can't either, but in your case I am sure that "stump" will get a
mention somewhere.

Ian.

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 9:54:46 PM12/21/03
to
Sid <no...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<uu13uh...@hotmail.com>...

> Sid <no...@hotmail.com> writes:
> >
> > It's the Return Of The King!
> >
> > I just saw it today. Truly amazing. I need to sleep now. Will
> > write about the show tomorrow evening.
>
> Saw it again on Saturday, and then again tonight.
>
> Sid, three should be enough for now

Well, *of course* three should be enough. I feel quite certain Peter
Jackson will never want to undertake The Silmarillion or any other
such absurdity...

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 9:57:49 PM12/21/03
to
Sid <no...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<uk74ui...@hotmail.com>...

>
> Warning (for Richard and others who may want to watch this movie
> "fresh"):
>
> The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
> plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.
.
.
.
.

.
> Single-word synopsis :
> Mind-blowing. Okay, so that's two words.

Is this what you're trying to say, Sid?
http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20031217

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 10:03:57 PM12/21/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan <rh...@gordol.org> wrote in message news:<to77uvojvr0j40mjg...@news20.forteinc.com>...

>
> Sorry, I didn't read the book. I was waiting for the movie. :)

Then wait no longer.

Silly Jeff.

;-)

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 10:27:23 PM12/21/03
to
Sid <no...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<u8yl9p...@hotmail.com>...

> "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:
> >
> > ...I *do* have tickets to the second day (Saturday) New Years Day Test
> > in Sydney. Steve Waugh's last hurrah, etc, etc, etc. Got 'em eight
> > weeks ago with about 25 friends. If you guarantee you're coming, I'll
> > see if I can talk someone into coughing up their ticket.
>
> Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I can get away for the Sydney
> test. Also, I wouldn't want any friend of yours to miss seeing Steve
> Waugh lose his last test. :-p

Wouldn be no great loss - they're not that avid as cricket fans. This
is an itinerant hockey team that gets drunk at the cricket to maintain
contact over summer. You're probably welcome, so let me know if you
can make it.



> > Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti bowls maiden overs.
>
> To bowl a maiden over:
>
> i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
> ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>
> Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.

[NB: the preceding and following are actually terms that you could,
sort of, use legitimately in cricket.]

iii. Move slip of of the way of the gully?
iv. Move short leg to long leg?
v. Check the wicket for opening cracks?
vi. Ensure the point is where you thought it should be?
vii. Protect your stump(s). [Really!]
iix. Polish your ball. [Really!]
ix. Put it right up in the block-hole. [Really!]
x. A good one comes off the meat of the bat?
xi. If you get a bouncer, decide whether to hook or duck?
xii. It one sits up on you, either drive or pull. [Really!]
xiii. Stay within the crease, or you risk getting out. [Really!]

I think I've said about enough.

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 11:20:33 PM12/21/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Richard Fitzpatrick said:

; Jeffrey Kaplan <rh...@gordol.org> wrote in message news:<to77uvojvr0j40mjg...@news20.forteinc.com>...


; >
; > Sorry, I didn't read the book. I was waiting for the movie. :)
;
; Then wait no longer.

I want to finish Discworld first, then I have the latest from Lois
McMaster Bujold to read...

; Silly Jeff.

Yes, and?

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"It was jet black. A shade of black so deep your eye just kinda slides
off it, and it shimmered when you looked at it. A spider big as death
and twice as ugly and when it flies past it's like you hear a scream in
your mind." (Lt. Keffer, B5 "The Fall Of Night")

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 11:22:54 PM12/21/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Sid said:

; Saw it again on Saturday, and then again tonight.


; Sid, three should be enough for now

And three shall be the number of thy counting.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"But pain... seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life.
Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on
regardless. Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life
in addition to the pain?" (Cordelia Vorkosigan [Lois McMaster Bujold,
"Barrayar"])

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 11:22:58 PM12/21/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Richard Fitzpatrick said:

; Well, *of course* three should be enough. I feel quite certain Peter


; Jackson will never want to undertake The Silmarillion or any other
; such absurdity...

The Hobbit.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

DISCLAIMER: This is a 100 Matter product: In the unlikely event that
this merchandise should contact Antimatter in any form, a catastrophic
explosion will result.

TimC

unread,
Dec 21, 2003, 11:31:17 PM12/21/03
to
Ian Davis (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

Insert stump into hole? No, that can't be it.

^G^G^G^G *** System shutdown message from root ***
System going down in 60 seconds

Sid

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 9:28:39 AM12/22/03
to
ossi...@hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) writes:


> Well, *of course* three should be enough. I feel quite certain Peter
> Jackson will never want to undertake The Silmarillion or any other
> such absurdity...

How about the Hobbit? The Silmarillion can, at best, be a documentary.

Sid

Sid

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 9:29:18 AM12/22/03
to
ossi...@hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) writes:

Close. Only, I wasn't so lost for words. The feeling breathless part is
accurate.

Sid

Sid

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 9:37:32 AM12/22/03
to

ossi...@hotmail.com (Richard Fitzpatrick) writes:

> > "Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:

> Wouldn be no great loss - they're not that avid as cricket fans. This
> is an itinerant hockey team that gets drunk at the cricket to maintain

Great. I could have talked about Hockey as well. We had a good year
(towards the end, at any rate).


> contact over summer. You're probably welcome, so let me know if you
> can make it.

But, sadly, my leave ends on the 2nd of Jan. So I won't be able to come
over then. Thanks once again.


> > To bowl a maiden over:
> >
> > i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
> > ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
> >
> > Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.
>
> [NB: the preceding and following are actually terms that you could,
> sort of, use legitimately in cricket.]
>
> iii. Move slip of of the way of the gully?
> iv. Move short leg to long leg?
> v. Check the wicket for opening cracks?
> vi. Ensure the point is where you thought it should be?
> vii. Protect your stump(s). [Really!]
> iix. Polish your ball. [Really!]
> ix. Put it right up in the block-hole. [Really!]
> x. A good one comes off the meat of the bat?
> xi. If you get a bouncer, decide whether to hook or duck?
> xii. It one sits up on you, either drive or pull. [Really!]
> xiii. Stay within the crease, or you risk getting out. [Really!]

xiv. Make sure your balls swing the right way.
xv. Always deliver seam up.
xvi. Always approach the crease in an upright stride
xvii. Don't get caught behind.
xviii. Always offer a straight bat.
xix. If the balls don't come to the length you expected, do some
gardening on the pitch.

And, the final tip to bowl a maiden over,

xx. If all else fails, appeal.

Sid

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 9:39:16 AM12/22/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan <rh...@gordol.org> writes:

> Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Sid said:
>
> ; Saw it again on Saturday, and then again tonight.
> ; Sid, three should be enough for now
>
> And three shall be the number of thy counting.

I shall now proceed to lob my Holy Hand Grenade.

Sid, may snuff it instead

Brad Beyenhof

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 11:27:09 AM12/22/03
to
in article 4024cbd7.03122...@posting.google.com, Richard
Fitzpatrick at ossi...@hotmail.com wrote on 12/21/03 6:57 PM:

I actually heard a report on the radio this morning outlining the best
places to take a pee break during the movie:

I. 26 minutes: when Liv Tyler shows up there are three minutes of
non-essential romantic stuff.
II. 1 hour, 15 minutes: when Liv Tyler shows up, you have 72 seconds before
a major plot development occurs.
III. 1 hour, 45 minutes: when Frodo says "I have to destroy it, for both of
our sakes," there are 90 seconds with which to take a break.

The radio host also recommended NOT getting a large drink, sitting on the
aisle, and making sure you know where the nearest bathroom is BEFORE the
movie starts. Being closest the the center of the movie, possible break #3
is the best and most essential.

Just thought I pass the info along.

--
Brad Beyenhof

Tom Harrington

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 1:01:22 PM12/22/03
to
In article <BC0C5B5E.935F%bbey...@SPAM.sbcglobal.SUCKS.net>,
Brad Beyenhof <bbey...@SPAM.sbcglobal.SUCKS.net> wrote:

> The radio host also recommended NOT getting a large drink, sitting on the
> aisle, and making sure you know where the nearest bathroom is BEFORE the
> movie starts. Being closest the the center of the movie, possible break #3
> is the best and most essential.

This shows lack of planning. Why get up at all? Buy whatever size
drink you want. Once you're done drinking it, the cup can be used as a
makeshift chamber pot.

--
Tom "Tom" Harrington
Macaroni, Automated System Maintenance for Mac OS X.
Version 1.4: Best cleanup yet, gets files other tools miss.
See http://www.atomicbird.com/

Tom Harrington

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 1:20:38 PM12/22/03
to
In article <uk74ui...@hotmail.com>, Sid <no...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
> plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.

I thought that ROTK had the potential to be a great film, but that it
was ruined by all the product placement. I mean, whose idea was it to
have Sam and Frodo eating Power Bars instead of lembas? And where the
hell did Gollum get those cans of tuna fish from?

And this scene at Edoras was just plain inexcusable:

Aragorn : Everyday Frodo moves closer to Mordor.
Gandalf : How do we know Frodo is alive?
Aragorn : He called me on his Verizon cellular phone a few minutes ago,
and sent me some pictures of Minas Morgul.
Gandalf : Verizon?
Aragorn : Nobody else has coverage in that part of Middle Earth.

And if that wasn't bad enough, there was Frodo, climbing up the
mountains, constantly popping open the phone to say "Can you hear me
now?".

Whoever put the Zales logo on the one ring should be shot. Along with
the person who conceived the scene where Legolas is doing his hair with
Miss Clairol Blond #2. And the person who got the "Bud Light" neon sign
into the party scene at Edoras.

Sam is supposed to kill Shelob with a frickin' SWORD, dammit, so why did
he use a can of Raid?

Geez, they even managed product placement for things that didn't even
appear in the movie:

Eowyn : My lord, what manner of horse is this you ride?
Theoden: It is a Mustang. Fast, powerful, and beautiful, I would ride
nothing but a Mustang. Ah, we approach a stream. Ford, Mustang!

And, um, OK, so Denethor's a messy eater. But I didn't see any Carl's
Jr. franchises in the aerial shots of Minas Tirith, so I don't know
where that big drippy sandwich came from.

I thought that the first two films had been successful enough that they
would have been able to avoid this kind of thing. It's too bad, it
ruins what was otherwise an excellent trilogy.

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 3:07:27 PM12/22/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote...

> Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Richard Fitzpatrick said:
> ;
> ; Well, *of course* three should be enough. I feel quite certain
> ; Peter Jackson will never want to undertake The Silmarillion or
> ; any other such absurdity...
>
> The Hobbit.

As I said - any other such absurdity...

Richard Fitzpatrick

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 3:08:39 PM12/22/03
to
Sid wrote...

> Richard Fitzpatrick writes:
> >
> > Well, *of course* three should be enough. I feel quite certain
> > Peter Jackson will never want to undertake The Silmarillion or
> > any other such absurdity...
>
> How about the Hobbit? The Silmarillion can, at best, be a documentary.

Op cit.


Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 6:37:18 PM12/22/03
to
Brad Beyenhof attempted to infuriate me by saying:

[snip, precious]

> Just thought I pass the info along.

Beverly almost got up to go pee just as one of the majorly spectacular
things was about to happen. She had been really "good," up until that
point, crossing her legs and making various outrageously funny facial
expressions (you can take that sort of thing in, out of the corner of your
eye, when you've already seen it once,) but she was bordering on critical.
I told her she couldn't go just then. She waited the thirty seconds
necessary, and I let her go.

It's amazing to have such power, sometimes.

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 6:39:19 PM12/22/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> I want to finish Discworld first, then I have the latest from Lois
> McMaster Bujold to read...

The authors of those books would no doubt hit you with a clue stick and
say, "Are you nuts?!?! Read LOTR first, and THEN read our cheap fiction."

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Dec 22, 2003, 7:32:12 PM12/22/03
to
Tom Harrington <t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> Brad Beyenhof <bbey...@SPAM.sbcglobal.SUCKS.net> wrote:
>>
>> The radio host also recommended NOT getting a large drink, sitting
>> on the aisle, and making sure you know where the nearest bathroom
>> is BEFORE the movie starts. Being closest the the center of the
>> movie, possible break #3 is the best and most essential.
>
> This shows lack of planning. Why get up at all? Buy whatever size
> drink you want. Once you're done drinking it, the cup can be used as
> a makeshift chamber pot.

What if you buy the Super Jumbo Extra Fucking Large Coke to nurse
throughout the show, but only have a smallish bladder?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fishies don't look forward to being
catheterized with a bendy-straw

--
Daniel Macks
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks

Henriette Kress

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 5:22:24 AM12/23/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
> Richard Fitzpatrick said:
> ; Jeffrey Kaplan <rh...@gordol.org> wrote:
> ; >
> ; > Sorry, I didn't read the book. I was waiting for the movie. :)
> ;
> ; Then wait no longer.
>
> I want to finish Discworld first, then I have the latest from Lois
> McMaster Bujold to read...

'nother good writer to read is Guy Gavriel Kay. Like, wow.

But: "Finish Discworld"? You can't. The minute you say "whew, that was
_that_ series of 29+ books" you'll find that there's more ov'em. Much like
xeno's paradox, in fact. They're of course all worthwile, which makes the
series rather an enormous exception among such works ...

On another note, one of the best books explaining science that I've ever
seen is "The Science of Discworld". 'course, it's a discworld novel, too.
The sequel, "TSoD: The Globe", isn't half as good, even if that, too, is
a discworld novel.

Hetta

--
Henriette Kress, AHG Helsinki, Finland
Henriette's herbal homepage: http://www.ibiblio.org/herbmed
Best of RHOD: http://www.ibiblio.org/herbmed/rhod

David Corbett

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 6:06:24 AM12/23/03
to
TimC wrote:
> Ian Davis (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>>"Richard Fitzpatrick" <fit...@webone.NO.SPAM.com.au> writes:
>>
>>>To bowl a maiden over:
>>>
>>>i. Remove Cover and Extra Cover.
>>>ii. Move fine leg to square leg.
>>>
>>>Hmm, I can't seem to think of a way to finish this.
>>
>>I can't either, but in your case I am sure that "stump" will get a
>>mention somewhere.
>
> Insert stump into hole? No, that can't be it.

Don't overstep the mark, or you'll end up with no balls.

Teh (tî'pô)

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 6:51:44 AM12/23/03
to
Tom Harrington bravely attempted to attach 51 electrodes of knowledge
to the nipples of rec.humor.oracle.d by saying:

>In article <uk74ui...@hotmail.com>, Sid <no...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
>> plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.
>
>I thought that ROTK had the potential to be a great film, but that it
>was ruined by all the product placement. I mean, whose idea was it to
>have Sam and Frodo eating Power Bars instead of lembas? And where the
>hell did Gollum get those cans of tuna fish from?
<snip>

>I thought that the first two films had been successful enough that they
>would have been able to avoid this kind of thing. It's too bad, it
>ruins what was otherwise an excellent trilogy.

Yeah, putting Teh victory banquet in Hogwarts was a bit much too.

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 1:39:58 PM12/23/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Henriette Kress said:

; > I want to finish Discworld first, then I have the latest from Lois


; > McMaster Bujold to read...
;
; 'nother good writer to read is Guy Gavriel Kay. Like, wow.
;
; But: "Finish Discworld"? You can't. The minute you say "whew, that was
; _that_ series of 29+ books" you'll find that there's more ov'em. Much like

Weeeel, I just finished "The Fifth Elephant" last night, and I'm
starting "The Truth" later today. I have all of the "regular" series
through "Night Watch" in paperback, plus "The Last Hero". I think I'm
only missing the juvie book "Maurice", and "Monstrous Regiment", which
is only in hardcover as of yet.

So, I only have three more to go before I move on to the rest of my
waiting stack which includes the afore mentioned item from Mrs. Bujold,
two from Jack McDevitt, a Niven/Barnes collaboration, "The Hacker
Crackdown" and "Cryptomonicon" and Tolkien.

; On another note, one of the best books explaining science that I've ever


; seen is "The Science of Discworld". 'course, it's a discworld novel, too.

It's a novel? I thought it was a textbook on a fictional universe.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"The thought that a one-eyed sniper, at a range of two kilometers at
midnight in a thunderstorm, could not +possibly+ mistake me for you, is
very comfortable indeed." (Mark Vorkosigan [Lois McMaster Bujold,
"Mirror Dance"])

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 1:53:45 PM12/23/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Teh (tî'pô) said:

; Tom Harrington bravely attempted to attach 51 electrodes of knowledge

At least they decided to cut JarJaromire from the final version.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"We have no interest in explaining our ways to you." (Alyt Neroon, B5
"Legacies")

Tom Harrington

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 2:58:35 PM12/23/03
to
In article <slrnbuf38c...@earl-grey.cloud9.net>,

"Daniel E. Macks" <dma...@netspace.org> wrote:

> Tom Harrington <t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> > Brad Beyenhof <bbey...@SPAM.sbcglobal.SUCKS.net> wrote:
> >>
> >> The radio host also recommended NOT getting a large drink, sitting
> >> on the aisle, and making sure you know where the nearest bathroom
> >> is BEFORE the movie starts. Being closest the the center of the
> >> movie, possible break #3 is the best and most essential.
> >
> > This shows lack of planning. Why get up at all? Buy whatever size
> > drink you want. Once you're done drinking it, the cup can be used as
> > a makeshift chamber pot.
>
> What if you buy the Super Jumbo Extra Fucking Large Coke to nurse
> throughout the show, but only have a smallish bladder?

Then bring your Stadium Pal (tm):
<http://www.stadiumpal.com/stadiumpal.html>

Joseph B. W. Shane

unread,
Dec 23, 2003, 3:06:58 PM12/23/03
to
or with having bails dispensed with

--
JBW Shane
Superman merely shortened a war
that would have been lost
without Bugs Bunny.

Jason

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 2:07:24 AM12/24/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:
<snip>

> So, I only have three more to go before I move on to the rest of my
> waiting stack which includes the afore mentioned item from Mrs. Bujold,
> two from Jack McDevitt, a Niven/Barnes collaboration, "The Hacker
> Crackdown" and "Cryptomonicon" and Tolkien.

Which Niven/Barnes? Dream Park and its sequel are very good, and I know
Barnes was with Niven and Pournelle on _Legacy of Heorot_, which I
haven't, I'm sorry to say, read. You should just read _The Hacker
Crackdown_ at work, since it's online. I laughed my ass off reading
_Cryptonomicon_, I highly recommend moving that up in your stack.

In case anyone missed it, _Empire of the East_ has been reprinted, this
time by Tor.

I'm not sure what I'm going to read next, just finished _Heaven's
Reach_, so I'm done with Uplift, and my Borders Preferred card has
expired and they're no longer running that program. Oh well, I'll see
what Christmas brings.

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 1:53:55 AM12/24/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Jason said:

; > So, I only have three more to go before I move on to the rest of my


; > waiting stack which includes the afore mentioned item from Mrs. Bujold,
; > two from Jack McDevitt, a Niven/Barnes collaboration, "The Hacker
; > Crackdown" and "Cryptomonicon" and Tolkien.
;
; Which Niven/Barnes? Dream Park and its sequel are very good, and I know

"Saturn's Race". "Dream Park" is great, especially if you're into
RPGs, even more so if you play or have played LARPs. Where DP is
great, it's sequel, "The Barsoom Project" is merely quite good.

; Barnes was with Niven and Pournelle on _Legacy of Heorot_, which I

... and it's sequel, "Beowulf's Children".

; haven't, I'm sorry to say, read. You should just read _The Hacker

; Crackdown_ at work, since it's online. I laughed my ass off reading

I'm a telecommuter. I may as well read it in print and contribute a
little to the author's livelihood.

; _Cryptonomicon_, I highly recommend moving that up in your stack.

I'm +trying+ to read them in the order I got them in. But I got
sidetracked into Discworld. :)

; I'm not sure what I'm going to read next, just finished _Heaven's

; Reach_, so I'm done with Uplift, and my Borders Preferred card has

Brin? I managed to slog through "Sundiver", but that's it. I don't
like him.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"Did it work?" "Oddly enough, yes. Or after a while you passed out
and had a vision. Either way the result was pretty much the same."
(Capt. Sheridan and Marcus Cole, B5 "War Without End, Pt. 1")

Teh (tî'pô)

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 2:53:56 AM12/24/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan bravely attempted to attach 41 electrodes of knowledge

to the nipples of rec.humor.oracle.d by saying:
>;
>; Which Niven/Barnes? Dream Park and its sequel are very good, and I know
>
>"Saturn's Race".
Eh, not one of their best (IM(NS)HO).

>"Dream Park" is great, especially if you're into
>RPGs, even more so if you play or have played LARPs. Where DP is
>great, it's sequel, "The Barsoom Project" is merely quite good.

There were three IIRC, let me just ask google...
Ah right The California Voodoo Game, it was the first one I read in
the series and probably my favorite.

>
>; Barnes was with Niven and Pournelle on _Legacy of Heorot_, which I
>... and it's sequel, "Beowulf's Children".

I thought Legacy was great, Beowulf (or Dragons of the Heorot) didn't
measure up.

Don't forget Footfall and Teh Moties (not just because of their name).

It's a shame when your favorite authors start releasing sub-par books,
there seems to be nothing to look forward too :o(

Rick Dickinson

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 5:25:33 AM12/24/03
to
On Wed, 24 Dec 2003 01:53:55 -0500, Jeffrey Kaplan <rh...@gordol.org>
wrote:

>Brin? I managed to slog through "Sundiver", but that's it. I don't
>like him.

Sundiver was the weakest of his Uplift novels, IMHO. And, that series
isn't as good as some of his other work -- I quite liked The Postman,
even if Costner did come along later and turn a good book into a
rather unstructured and incoherent movie, cutting too many of the
wrong parts, and leaving in too many of the parts that translated
poorly to film.

I loved the novel, didn't care for the film, and was annoyed with
myself for wanting to like the film more just because I enjoyed the
book and had been looking forward to seeing it brought to life
on-screen. Water World should have served as a warning....

- Rick "Screw dry land -- just give my 2.5 hours back" Dickinson

--
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who
has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has
intended us to forgo their use."
-- Galileo Galilei

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 8:43:10 AM12/24/03
to
Teh (tî'pô) attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> It's a shame when your favorite authors start releasing sub-par books,
> there seems to be nothing to look forward too :o(

Yah, I was at Barnes and Noble last night, and saw that Tom Clancy has a
new book out. His last one was so bad, I was only tempted for about five
seconds.

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 8:47:37 AM12/24/03
to
Jason attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> In case anyone missed it, _Empire of the East_ has been reprinted, this
> time by Tor.

Funny, I just packed away a bunch of books yesterday, and saw that one. I
wavered for a moment before putting it in the box. It has been a few years
since the last time I read it. I read some of the Berzerker stories years
and years ago, but I liked Empire of the East much better.

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 9:08:02 AM12/24/03
to
Jason attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> Which Niven/Barnes? Dream Park and its sequel are very good, and I know

> Barnes was with Niven and Pournelle on _Legacy of Heorot_, which I
> haven't, I'm sorry to say, read. You should just read _The Hacker
> Crackdown_ at work, since it's online. I laughed my ass off reading
> _Cryptonomicon_, I highly recommend moving that up in your stack.

Sorry to make two followups to the same post, but I have to comment on
this. Cryptonomicon is a masterpiece. It has become one of my "once a
year" books that I keep re-reading. I'm almost finished with Quicksilver.
It's great, and is yet another showcase for Stevenson's amazing prose, but
it probably won't appeal to as many readers. In some places it drags a
bit. If you are already a Stevenson fan, by all means get it. If you
haven't read anything by Stevenson, start with Snow Crash, then read
The Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon, not necessarily in that order. Read
Zodiac some weekend when you have nothing better to do. Then, once you're
a fan, get started on the Baroque cycle with Quicksilver. Although it is
not really described as a sequel/prequel to Cryptonomicon, you MUST read
Crypto before starting the Baroque cycle. The characters will make a lot
more sense.

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 11:41:00 AM12/24/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:

; Teh (tî'pô) attempted to infuriate me by saying:


;
; > It's a shame when your favorite authors start releasing sub-par books,
; > there seems to be nothing to look forward too :o(
;
; Yah, I was at Barnes and Noble last night, and saw that Tom Clancy has a
; new book out. His last one was so bad, I was only tempted for about five
; seconds.

Yeah. I got "The Bear And The Dragon" when it was still new. It's
still mostly unread, I only got about a quarter of the way through it.

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"Did I mention that my nose is on fire, and that I have fifteen wild
Badgers living in my trousers? [Ivanova looks at him.] I'm sorry,
would you prefer Ferrets?" (Marcus Cole, B5 "Messages From Earth")

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 12:18:01 PM12/24/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:
>
> ; Teh (tî'pô) attempted to infuriate me by saying:
> ;
> ; > It's a shame when your favorite authors start releasing sub-par books,
> ; > there seems to be nothing to look forward too :o(
> ;
> ; Yah, I was at Barnes and Noble last night, and saw that Tom Clancy has a
> ; new book out. His last one was so bad, I was only tempted for about five
> ; seconds.
>
> Yeah. I got "The Bear And The Dragon" when it was still new. It's
> still mostly unread, I only got about a quarter of the way through it.

That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 2:38:08 PM12/24/03
to
Tom Harrington <t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
> In article <slrnbuf38c...@earl-grey.cloud9.net>,
> "Daniel E. Macks" <dma...@netspace.org> wrote:
>
>> Tom Harrington <t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
>> > Brad Beyenhof <bbey...@SPAM.sbcglobal.SUCKS.net> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> The radio host also recommended NOT getting a large drink, sitting
>> >> on the aisle, and making sure you know where the nearest bathroom
>> >> is BEFORE the movie starts. Being closest the the center of the
>> >> movie, possible break #3 is the best and most essential.
>> >
>> > This shows lack of planning. Why get up at all? Buy whatever size
>> > drink you want. Once you're done drinking it, the cup can be used as
>> > a makeshift chamber pot.
>>
>> What if you buy the Super Jumbo Extra Fucking Large Coke to nurse
>> throughout the show, but only have a smallish bladder?
>
> Then bring your Stadium Pal (tm):
><http://www.stadiumpal.com/stadiumpal.html>

Yay, an everyman's concom catheter!

*woop*woop*woop*thread convergence*woop*woop*woop*
http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/history/oral_histories/HawleySA/HawleySA_12-4-02.pdf
end of page 52/beginning of 53.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies wonder if that's a good
marinade for them

Joseph B. W. Shane

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 10:21:07 PM12/24/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote:

> Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Sid said:
>
> ; The rest of this post contains spoilers of all sorts - visual elements,
> ; plot, best seats in the house, what kind of popcorn to buy etc.
<snip>
I just knew that *somewhere* along this thread,
the topic was still ROTK.

So anyway
for just a whole mess of audio interviews on
JRRT,
the Ring Trilogy movies (interviews each December back to 2001)
and The Hobbit
(and Yellow Submarine, Physics and UFOs among other things),
there's this professor, Dr Bob Hieronimous,
with a radio show out of College Park, MD (Maryland, USA).

http://21stcenturyradio.com/21audioarchives.html

[Is he obnoxiously goofy? You're askin' *me*?]
--
JBW Shane
And that's the truth!

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 11:05:10 PM12/24/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:

; Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:


;
; > Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:
; >
; > ; Teh (tî'pô) attempted to infuriate me by saying:
; > ;
; > ; > It's a shame when your favorite authors start releasing sub-par books,
; > ; > there seems to be nothing to look forward too :o(
; > ;
; > ; Yah, I was at Barnes and Noble last night, and saw that Tom Clancy has a
; > ; new book out. His last one was so bad, I was only tempted for about five
; > ; seconds.
; >
; > Yeah. I got "The Bear And The Dragon" when it was still new. It's
; > still mostly unread, I only got about a quarter of the way through it.
;
; That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.

I'd say "thanks for the warning", but I had already decided to stop
buying his stuff. The Jack Ryan series should have ended with "Without
Remorse", definitely with "Executive Orders".


--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"I'm a telepath. Work it out." (Mr. Bester, B5 "Ship of Tears")

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 11:06:23 PM12/24/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Jeffrey Kaplan said:

; ; That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.

Um, isn't "Red Rabbit" the latest Hannibal Lecter book?

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"It eh, isn't actually breen." (G'Kar, B5 "Walkabout")

Fierce Cookie

unread,
Dec 24, 2003, 11:25:36 PM12/24/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:

> Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Jeffrey Kaplan said:


>
> ; ; That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.
>
> Um, isn't "Red Rabbit" the latest Hannibal Lecter book?

Nope. That's "Red Orangutan."

Jeffrey Kaplan

unread,
Dec 25, 2003, 10:06:31 PM12/25/03
to
Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:

; Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:


;
; > Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Jeffrey Kaplan said:
; >
; > ; ; That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.
; >
; > Um, isn't "Red Rabbit" the latest Hannibal Lecter book?
;
; Nope. That's "Red Orangutan."

The Librarian is in a Hannibal Lecter book?

--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> www.gordol.org
The from userid is killfiled <*> Send personal mail to gordol

"Time stabilizer damaged. He is unstuck, in time. Zathras warn but,
no one listen to Zathras, no." (Zathras, B5 "War Without End, Pt. 1")

Tom Harrington

unread,
Dec 26, 2003, 1:08:47 PM12/26/03
to
In article <pan.2003.12.23....@mindspring.com>,
Fierce Cookie <putain...@mindspring.com> wrote:

> Sorry to make two followups to the same post, but I have to comment on
> this. Cryptonomicon is a masterpiece. It has become one of my "once a
> year" books that I keep re-reading. I'm almost finished with Quicksilver.
> It's great, and is yet another showcase for Stevenson's amazing prose, but
> it probably won't appeal to as many readers. In some places it drags a
> bit. If you are already a Stevenson fan, by all means get it. If you
> haven't read anything by Stevenson, start with Snow Crash, then read
> The Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon, not necessarily in that order. Read
> Zodiac some weekend when you have nothing better to do. Then, once you're
> a fan, get started on the Baroque cycle with Quicksilver. Although it is
> not really described as a sequel/prequel to Cryptonomicon, you MUST read
> Crypto before starting the Baroque cycle. The characters will make a lot
> more sense.

Quicksilver drags a _bit_? I'm something like 650 pages into it right
now, and starting to wonder why I should bother continuing. I almost
never give up in the middle of a book, but this one is just sapping my
will to live. Generally I give the author the benefit of the doubt in
the hope that it will seem worth it eventually, and generally that
scheme works out. But Quicksilver is so damned long that it's hard to
maintain that attitude. I thought Cryptonomicon was great, and Snow
Crash is one of my favorites. Quicksilver, I'm starting to wonder why
everyone seems to like it so much.

Screwtape

unread,
Dec 26, 2003, 7:13:21 PM12/26/03
to
m_init(): spawning followupTo('Jeffrey Kaplan')...done.

>Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Fierce Cookie said:
>
>; Jeffrey Kaplan attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>;
>; > Previously on rec.humor.oracle.d, Jeffrey Kaplan said:
>; >
>; > ; ; That one was great compared to Red Rabbit. Yech.
>; >
>; > Um, isn't "Red Rabbit" the latest Hannibal Lecter book?
>;
>; Nope. That's "Red Orangutan."
>
>The Librarian is in a Hannibal Lecter book?

"Oook." [1]


[1] "I'm your worst nightmare. An ape with a badge."

--
___________ ___________________________________
| Screwtape | http://livejournal.com/~thristian |______ _____ ___ __ _ _ _
|
| "Do you ever suck on your umbrella?" -- Beth Allen
|

Richard Fitzpatrick

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Dec 28, 2003, 4:04:43 AM12/28/03
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"Joseph B. W. Shane" <jb...@njit.edu> wrote in message
news:3fea572b$1...@nntp2.nac.net...

>
> So anyway
> for just a whole mess of audio interviews on
> JRRT,
> the Ring Trilogy movies (interviews each December back to 2001)
> and The Hobbit
> (and Yellow Submarine...

Joseph, why do you do those weird line lengths? Did you learn to type on a
manual typewriter?
--
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti's line only has two
lengths, IYKWIM...


René Torenstra

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Dec 29, 2003, 8:28:42 PM12/29/03
to
Jeffrey Kaplan chiseled on that clay tablet called usenet:

<snip>


>So, I only have three more to go before I move on to the rest of my
>waiting stack which includes the afore mentioned item from Mrs. Bujold,
>two from Jack McDevitt, a Niven/Barnes collaboration, "The Hacker
>Crackdown" and "Cryptomonicon" and Tolkien.
>

<snip>

The Cryptomonicon? Wasn't that a book by the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred?
I heard he got torn apart by invisible claws in broad daylight because
he wrote that. Or read it. I don't remember.

René Torenstra
--
Remove 2nd and 3rd _ for mail.
http://home.wanadoo.nl/r.toremstra
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