'Darwin Award' Nominee
Don Harrington
You all know about the Darwin Awards - it's the annual honor given to the
person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in
the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last years' winner was the fellow
who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he
was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
And this year's nominee is:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded
into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve.
the wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
the type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured
out what is was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted
Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy
military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short
airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found
a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his
car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts, as best could be determined, are that the operator of the 1967
Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from
the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and
melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would
have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the Chevy to
reach speeds well in excess of 350 MPH, continuing at full power for an
additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely
would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14
jocks under full afterburners, basically causing him to become
insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile
remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds)
before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the
tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming
airborne for additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a
height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small
fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and
fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed
to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Don Harrington Boeing Commercial Airplane Group
(206) 931-4457 voice P. O. Box 3707 M/S 5J-34
(206) 931-9085 FAX Seattle, WA 98124-2207
har7...@bcstec.ca.boeing.com
These thoughts are owned by the person expressing them, and no one else!
Scott_G...@denkart.com
Item Subject: 'Darwin Award' Nominee
>You all know about the Darwin Awards - it's the annual honor given to the
Sorry, Urban Legend. Never happened.
A quick search shows at least 88 web pages containing copies of this story,
not to mention numerous copies of it posted to various newsgroups.
G.
lee_g...@ccm.bcbso.com
Gee, thanks for sharing! :( :( :(
Lee
______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________
Subject: 'Darwin Award' Nominee
Author: Don Harrington <har7...@BCSTEC.CA.BOEING.COM> at ~INTERNET
Date: 5/30/96 2:56 PM
Don Harrington
Oh, well. It's a funny story, anyway!
SIMPKINS, Terry
Funny and sort of scary since I used to work with a guy (at HP-Boise) who I
can very easily visualize as the guy in the car. He once tried to replace
the engine in an old RX-7 with a surplus turbine (just to see if it could be
done & how fast it would go). this is the same guy who use binary plastic
explosive to dig holes for planting his trees. the holes were deep, but not
very big around. The stories about Ch**k, just go on and on and make for
very good laughs over beers.
Terry
----------
> From: Don Harrington
> To: Multiple recipients of list HP3000-L
> Subject: Re: 'Darwin Award' Nominee
> Date: Friday, May 31, 1996 8:36AM
Isaac Blake
Don Harrington wrote:
>
> You all know about the Darwin Awards
[snip]
I can't beat the DPS story (Arizona Highway Patrol), however last year
in Phoenix we had a case where a person was out in the desert shooting
Saguaro Cactus (or is it cacti). He found a large one, about 20~25 feet
tall, and started shooting at the base. During what was his final shot
with his shotgun, the cactus fell on him killing him!!! :-)
And you wonder why I've enjoyed police work the last 11+ years!!!
/isaac
--
Isaac Blake e-mail: is...@netzone.com
Alliant Foodservice phone: 602-496-5531
10410 S 50th Pl fax: 602-496-5224
Phoenix AZ 85044-5208 "My opinions and comments are just that!"