Anko 1562: でいぶお姉さんと: "Deibu and Miss"

[tora]

--
"This is Reimu's house! Take it easy!!"

In this place, near the edge of the forest, was a solitary log house.
In short, it was a Mister Human's house.

Reimu saw a Mister Human coming and going to this house, so,
naturally, it understood that this house belonged to Mister Human.
Yet, beyond that, thinking of this house - which was clean, large, and
smelled sweetly of trees - it schemed to make this house its own.

"Yufufu. Reimu is a Single Mother! She's so pitiful! So, this place is
Reimu's house now!"

Indeed, dangling from the stalk on Reimu's forehead were five cute
little ones.
There were two baby Marisas and two baby Reimus, all the spitting
image of Reimu, and all so cute you'd just want to gobble them up.

"*Zzzz... Zzzz... Mwunch-mwunch..."
"*snore, snore*... Showwy... fwor bwein'... sho kyute..."

Incidentally, its refreshing partner was likely a Marisa.
"Likely," that is, because it just woke up one morning to find these
little ones somehow growing from its head.
The entrance to its house, the so-called "boundary," had been
destroyed; most likely, someone broke in, raped it in its sleep, and
left.
This was a frequent occurrence in the area.

"Yufuuun. Reimu's so pitiable!! Hurry and bring food! In fact, bring
all of it!!"

Then, before the so-called "Deibu" Reimu's very eyes, this house's
true master - a Miss Human with short-cut hair, cute as a puppy
rolling in the grass - stood up.

******************************************************

"This is my house. You take it easy too, Reimu."
"Yuyu-!? Wrong! This is Reimu's house! Don't take it easy, bring Reimu
food, easy! And after you bring it, hurry up and drop dead, easy!"

If your average Mister had been nearby to hear that, it would have
raised a Death Flag* that would result in both parent and child having
their bean paste splattered all over the interior walls of the house.
However, the Miss gave Reimu a gentle expression and began to speak to
her.

(* flag, as in event flags in VNs, dating sims, and the like. In this
case, it would be a "you're guaranteed a Bad End" flag.)

"Ufufu. Poor Reimu, being so slow in the head. How saaad."
"YUYU-!!?"
"Ah, did that shock you? I'm sorry. I was only speaking the truth."

...

"YUGIIII!! What are you saying?! This is Reimu's house!!"
"Okay, in that case, I'm making it my house from now on. It's such a
pretty house, you should just give it to cute little me."
"Yu, Yugaaaaah!?"

To Reimu, this came as a sudden and unbelievable thing to hear.
Within Reimu, the idea had taken hold that this had been Reimu's house
since long ago, and yet, she was hearing someone say to her, "I'm
taking this easy house now, so fork it over."

...What a tyrannical Miss!!

"Well, then, that means you'll be my servant from now on, Reimu. You
should be happy to serve a cutie like me! Haha!"
"Yu, Yueeeeh!!?"

Miss' turn wasn't over yet.

Regardless of what Reimu might mutter from her non-human point of
view, Miss was a human who certainly did fit the "cute" description.
With her short hair - its color reminiscent of chestnuts, and its
texture so smooth that it begged Reimu to rub-rub with it - and her
puppy-cute charming face wrapped in silky white skin, even Reimu had
to agree that Miss was very easy.
Miss was short of stature and slightly plump, which made Reimu want to
leap into her chest and be held with both of Miss' hands.
The clothes Miss was wearing were clean and fresh, and a faintly
flowery, candy-sweet, wonderfully good scent wafted from all over her
body.

Between her, the warm, beautiful-to-the-grain house, and its forest-
ringed garden full of various flowers in full bloom, Reimu could feel
a perfect harmony.
Miss was truly, truly lovely.

...And yet, from that Miss' voice chimed confrontational, outrageous
words without a trace of easiness.

"Alright, Reimu. I'll be eating dinner now, so carry the dishes for
me."
"Yuyu-!? Why should Reimu do such a thing!? Are you stupid? Do you
wanna die?"
"Hmm... Oh, that's right. You're filthy, Reimu, so don't touch the
dishes. I'm sorry for being so cute."
"YUHIIIIIGIGIGI!!!?"

...Why? How could she be so irritating?
This day, Reimu was left in an uneasy mood all day long.

In any case, despite her unwillingness, Reimu began living with Miss
in this house.
At the very least, the house was sturdy and safe, and Miss gave her
vegetable scraps and dried sardines to eat.

For the little ones' sake, she couldn't let go of this house.

It was only later that Reimu would come to realize how great a
misjudgement this would be...

******************************************************

[Tea]

This is gonna be hella amusing. Thanks for the TL!

[cluster]

Calling it now - Deibu's children will disown her.

[tora]

******************************************************

Morning, two days later.
Miss had given Reimu a bed - a soft and fluffy cushion that Miss had
stitched herself - and atop it, Reimu was taking it easy, watching
her little ones grow.

"Yuyu~n. Be at ease, Reimu's little ones~"
"...ea...jy..."
"Yuyu~n. You can answer me already, huh~? Reimu should expect no less
of her little ones~"

The little ones' development is going well.
Reimu had never felt so fully at ease, and she could barely wait for
them to be born.


"Ohhh, what a bother."

Miss was there, wearing a very perturbed expression on her face,
shaking an empty bottle over a freshly-baked loaf of bread.

"I forgot that I ran out of honey... I always have honey on Friday
mornings, too..."
"Yu? Go somewhere else, easy! Reimu's trying to take it easy with her
little ones!"

*Snap!*

The very next instant, one of Reimu's little ones - a roly-poly, cute
little baby Marisa - was clutched in Miss' hand.

"Yu... YuuaAAAH!? Whadd're you doinggg!? Led by liddle wun dage id-"
"I guess I'll have to have bean jam bread instead."

*slice!* ...*smear smear*

"YIIEE...!"

Reimu could not believe her eyes.
Miss had stuck a butter knife in baby Marisa's belly, pulled out her
bean jam, and was smearing it over a piece of bread.

*munch munch*

"Mm, yeah, bean jam goes perfect with white bread too! I should've
known I'd succeed even when I mess up!"
"YuaaAAAAH!? WHYYY ARE YOU EADING DEIBU'Z LIDDLE WUNNN!? ZHE WAZ JUZT
DAGING ID EAZYYYY!!"

But the reply Reimu received in turn was more oblique than she
expected.

"Miss has no honey! Isn't she so pitiful? Let Miss eat a little
yukkuri or two instead."
"Th- That's completely unforgivable!!"
"Oh, that's fine. I don't need your forgiveness or whatever. Reimu's
only my servant, after all. You should just let me take it easy."
"YUEEEEH!?"


For Reimu, there was only one thing to be happy about: that Miss was a
light eater, and thus, she was satisfied after one slice of bread.


******************************************************

[tora]

******************************************************

Afterward, time passed without any serious issues, and the time came
for Reimu's four remaining little ones to be born easy.

*wobble wobble wobble* ... *Snap!* ...*plop!*

"Showwy fwor bwein' sho kyute!" *pingg!* (x4)

The baby Reimus were born first, followed by the remaining baby
Marisa, all of whom were the spitting image of their mother Reimu.
No yukkuri had ever been as easy as her little ones, or at least so
Reimu thought from her maternal point of view.

"Take it easy! Yuun, what easy little ones!"

But, unfortunately for them, Miss was there also.

"Hmm, I should've known they wouldn't be cute. Every time I've looked,
they've been just about the second-worst things I've seen."
"D, don' zay weird zduff lige thaaad!! Reimu's little ones are the
best in the whole world!!"
"Yuwaah, whach dwo you mean 'shecond-worsht'!?"
"Huh? You were listening?"

Of course, after this, Reimu and the baby yukkuri regretted not simply
ignoring Miss.

"Well, you see, yesterday, while I was out walking on the street, I
accidentally stepped on a baby Alice. You guys are a step above that
squished baby yukkuri! Aren't you glad?"

At this overwhelming response, all five members of their little family
were dumbstruck, but then all of the baby yukkuri raised their voices
as one.

"Yu, yupyaaaah! Whyyyyyy!?"
"Mish can'ch chake ich eajy...!"

"Whyyy, whyyy would you zay zuch a thinggg!? You'b godda led Deibu'z
liddle wunz dage it eazyyy!!"

"...Hmm, but there are all these Reimus here. What to do?"

Reimu's protests were, as usual, in vain.
Miss wasn't listening at all.

"There are so many Reimu's that it's hard to call for the right
one. ...Reimu! Take it easy!"
"Take it easy!!/Chake ich eajy!!" (x4)

The parent and child Reimus all answered at once.
Miss was quite displeased.
Any yukkuri owner would feel frustrated at having many who answer to
the same name, and it seemed Miss was no exception.

Thus,

"No good, huh? Alright, let's try this."

Saying this, Miss...

*RIP!*

"YUPIII-! W, Weimu's Mishter Shidelocksh-!!"

...casually tore off the eldest daughter Reimu's right sidelock...

*RIPP-!*

"Yupyaaaah!? Why awe you dwoing thiiish!?"

...and the second daughter Reimu's left sidelock...

*SHRED*

"Pyaaah!? Weimu's shilky-shmooth Mishter Wibbon!?"

...and tore the youngest Reimu's ribbon to pieces.

And after all that...

"From now on, you're Number 1, you're Number 2, you're Number 3, and
Marisa is Number 4."
"But Weimu ij Weimuuu!!"
"Weimu's name ij Weimu! Can'ch chake ich eajy wike thish!"
"Whyyy wouldjoo shay thatch-!?"

Miss declared, regardless of the sisters' wishes, that they would be
called by more suitable names.

The three Reimu sisters didn't understand and couldn't take it easy.
Still, their willpower was undiminished, and they objected
frantically.

But the reaction of the fourth daughter, the only Marisa, was a little
bit different.

"What doej 'fwour' mean? Mawisha doejn'ch undershtand."

Yes, she could not understand the number "4" that had been given to
her as a name.
For yukkuri, any number greater than 3 was simply "Lots!", and that
was that.
For that reason, the fourth-born Marisa was the only one called by an
unrecognizable number, and was thus bewildered by hearing herself
called a name she couldn't understand.

"Ah, I see, you guys don't understand any number bigger than three,
huh? Oh well."

*hoist* *splash splash*...

Having said this, the fourth-born Marisa - with no idea what Miss was
thinking - was picked up and washed under the faucet.

"Yupyaaah! Mawisha can'ch chake ich eajy wif Mishter Wacher!"

*hoist* *Nom!* *munch munch munch*... *gulp*

"That's better."

...Miss had picked up the fourth-born Marisa, washed her, and then
tossed Marisa into her own mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!"

As always, Miss ignored her.
One way or another, it seems she would solve their interaction issue.

"So, uhhh... You were Number 1, right?"
"Choo! Weimu ij Numbwer Choo!!"
"Eh, you were? ...Hmm, it's still hard to tell you apart... Ah! That's
it!"

*RRRRRIP!!*

"YUPYAAAAAH!!"

By the time Reimu's frantically protesting eyes saw it, the little one
whose ribbon had been wrecked had her hair and the remains of her
ribbon torn out by the roots...

"Can'ch chake ich eajy..."
"Mishter Hair... Wick, wick... Come back, eajy..."
"Whyyyy...?"

*Squeak! Squeak-squeak!*

...and Miss had marked the bald baby Reimus' heads "1", "2", and "3"
in oil-based magic marker.

By the time Reimu calmed down, the things which had not long before
been her easy-taking little ones had become her disheartened-looking,
featureless, billiard ball-like little ones.

"There we go, perfect!"
"Wh... whyyy...?"

Reimu, who had by this time had the will to shout torn away from her,
quietly asked this of Miss.
Miss - smiling with her whole face, but with a strange and mysterious
gleam in her eye - answered Reimu.

"Reimu's my servant, so that makes those little ones my servants too,
you see? That means they should let me take it easy too, doesn't it?"

Miss looked at Reimu, seriously yet mysteriously, and cocked her head
to the side...

"Hmmm. Was I mistaken?"
"Wh... What, what're you saying...?"

Miss leaned over the baby Reimus heads as if peering into their
contents, then closed her eyes and acted as if she truly didn't know
why Reimu was crying.
This act finally drove into Reimu a sense of understanding about Miss.

At that very moment, Reimu realized that her life and the lives of her
little ones were in terrible danger.
As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she impulsively sprang into
action.

"YUGIIIII-! DIEEEEE!!
"?"

*Bwoing-!!*

Throwing her whole body into an all-or-nothing attack against Miss'
unguarded back, she struck as hard as she could...

"Oh, the pain! The pain! Hahaha!"

This response was enough to convince Reimu that she had inflicted
lethal damage on Miss.

"We're leaving here right now, little ones!! Get inside Mommy's mouth,
easy!!"
"Yuwaah, can'ch chake ich eajy..."

Thinking Miss defeated, they spared no thought for her.
Opening her mouth wide, Reimu urged her little ones inside.
Yes, it would have been better had she done this from the very
beginning.

"Yuwaah. Mwommie! Wub-wub wif ush!"
"Weimu needj choo do poo-poo!"
"You can do those later! Hurry and - *WHAM* - YUBIEEEH!?"

Reimu frantically tried to persuade the grumbling little ones.
However, when at long last her little ones were about to go into her
mouth, at that very instant, a powerful impact collided with the back
of her head.

"Yubyaaahh!? Wh, WHYYYY!?"

Surely they had dealt her a fatal wound, they thought.
But there, her ever-present warm smile unchanged, stood Miss.

Reimu understood that the impact she suffered had been from a single
attack by Miss' foot.
She then realized the difference between her own power and Miss', but
more importantly, she realized what mortally perilous circumstances
she was in.

"Yu... ghh... M, Miss, stop it, easy... Led be dage id eazy..."
"Yuwaahh, letch Mwommie chake ich eajy...!"

But, once again, the words that chimed lightly from the mouth of Miss
were different than Reimu expected.

"Ufufu. I'm so strong!"
"Yuehhh!?"

From that kick alone, Reimu had understood the gap in power between
them.
More than the power gap, Reimu had even gone to the extreme of a
cowardly attack against an opponent's unguarded back, and still she
had lost.

"Have you realized it? Hmm? Have you realized how strong I am? Ufufu."
"Yu, wha, what are you..."
"You're a bad little yukkuri, Reimu, for going against the almighty
Miss like that. This is your punishment, so you have no right to get
mad. Ufufu."
"Yu, yuehhh!?"

Miss was always, no matter what, smiling her usual smile.
There was no ulterior to it; Reimu could see nothing but honesty and
lightheartedness in that smile.
And yet... despite the lack of malice in it... it made Reimu feel
cold...

"Yupiii, yuwaaah! Mish, shtop ich eajy!"
"Schawed! Why awe you doing thish choo kyute Weimu...?"
"Weimu ij showwy fwor bein' sho kyute...!"


In conclusion, Miss was always cheerful, and had never done harm to
Reimu, except for that single kick.

"Reimuuu, bring the disheees!"
"D, doin' id, eajy...!"

"Number 1 and Number 2, bring the soy sauce. Number 3, you bring the
chopsticks."
"Yuwaaah! Weimu ijn'ch Nwumber Fwee!"
"Oh, it doesn't matter, does it? You never had a very cute name to
begin with."
"Whyyyy would you shay shuch a thinggg-!?"

Thus, they remained in servitude.

******************************************************

[tora]

******************************************************

A few days after Reimu met Miss, her worries began to pile up.
In the beginning, she thought "Reimu won't let Miss take it easy!"
But gradually, that thought metamorphosed into "Miss won't let Reimu
take it easy!" and finally into the question,
"Why won't Miss let Reimu take it easy?"

Any feeble-minded, Deibu-natured yukkuri would immediately spout,
"You're getting in my way, Miss! Fuck off and die, easy!" without ever
asking such a question.
But this Miss had an inextinguishable smile,
was very warm,
was very soft,
smelled wonderful,
always cheered Reimu up,
and as far as Reimu could tell, she was the easiest thing - whether
Mister Human or yukkuri - that she had ever known.
And so, the question "Why?" surged ahead of such petulance.

Miss was a really, really easy person.
In fact, no ordinary creature was as easy as her.
Miss was only one step below... no, actually, she was on equal footing
with Reimu in terms of easiness.
So why was it that Miss kept doing and saying uneasy things to
Reimu...?

Somehow or other, in every word Miss said to Reimu, in everything Miss
did to Reimu, Reimu got the sensation that Miss had never really seen
or heard Reimu.

And then, on this day, all of Reimu's questions melted away.

"Hey... Reimu?"
"T- Take it easy! Let Reimu take it easy!"
"I just want to talk a bit. Hey, Reimu..."

"Yu..."
"Recently, I've been hearing that I'm 'Deibu-like'. Isn't that odd?"
"Yu, yuu...?"

Reimu had also heard of this thing called a "Deibu".

They say that a Deibu is a yukkuri who doesn't really take it easy.
They say that a Deibu is a yukkuri who takes it easy themselves
without regard for how much they bother other yukkuri in the process.
They say that a Deibu is the sort of yukkuri who thinks it's natural
to enslave other living things, making them work to allow the Deibu to
take it easy.

"......"

Reimu doesn't know how Miss behaves around other Mister Humans
outside, but from what Reimu does know, Miss certainly fits the "Deibu-
like" label.

"Hey, are you listening to me, Reimu?"
"Yu, yuyu-? Reimu's listening!"
"Reimu and I are just alike, so they must be blind or something."

"Yu... Wh, what does that meaaannn!?"

"What it means is... 'Reimu is a Deibu', you see?"


"Yu, yu, yu, yuuuuu!?"

Reimu... couldn't deny it.

It was true.
The things Reimu had said and done before meeting Miss...

...were so exactly like the things Miss had said and done to Reimu
since, that it was like they were two peas in a pod.

"Such a rude thing for then to say, wasn't it? Hey, Rei-... Are you
listening?"


******************************************************

That night, surrounded by uneasy sleeping faces, tears brimming in the
eyes of her little ones, Reimu was lost in thought.
Reimu regretted everything.

Indeed, Reimu realized that she had invited all of her troubles on
herself.
She had forgotten, until now, that Miss had lived in this house before
Reimu.
Everything had begun the moment she tried to seize the house from
Miss.

Reimu could guess at why Miss had constantly treated her so badly
until now.

Surely, it was because Miss couldn't forgive Reimu for acting like a
Deibu.
Thus, all the Deibu-like behavior Miss had exhibited was done purely
to wound the hearts of Reimu and her little ones.

That was it.
If she had met a Bullying Miss-type Mister Human and been killed in a
single attack, it would have been the same.
If she had behaved this way with a herd of other yukkuri, and they had
been strong and clever, they wouldn't have excused her behavior,
either.

And yet, Miss had spared Reimu and left her healthy, despite doing
horrible things to Reimu's little ones.
Miss hadn't let Reimu eat the same food as her, but she had given her
enough to swell her belly.
Miss even kept her bedding clean, so it was always light and fluffy.

That night, unexpected by Miss, Reimu broke out of her Deibu-hood.

And thus, Reimu made up her mind to leave this house.
She would apologize to Miss properly the next day...


******************************************************

"...and that's how it is. Reimu has reflected on her actions, easy."
"Hmmm."

"This house belongs to Miss, so Reimu will leave."
"Hmmm."

"Little ones, come with Mommy. Let's search for an easy house
together."
"Yuu, unnershtood, eajy..."

Reimu was no longer the Deibu she had been when she first came here.
The demon-possessed visage had given way to something bright and
sunny, self-reliant, full of maternal determination and pride.
She had become worthy of being called "a yukkuri who can take it
easy."

"Alright, Reimu is leaving now, so please open Mister Door, easy."

Reimu took her little ones into her mouth and departed for the door at
the end of the entry hall.
Now fully reborn, for Reimu, beyond that door lay the beginnings of
her new yun-life.



"Mm? What?"

Miss had not opened the door.

"Yu...? But, Reimu is leaving, okay?"

"You can't, Reimu. You're my servant."
"Yu... Yu?"

"It'd be better for an uncute, half-wit yukkuri like Reimu to just do
whatever a cutie like me says. Hahaha!"
"Yu, yu, yuu...?"

"Don't you feel honored? Well then, from here on, let me take it
easy!"
"Yu... Yuwaaaah!?"



Today, as always, Miss wore her usual easy smile on her face.

"By the way, I forgot to buy honey again today, so give me your little
ones' bean jam."
"Wh... What're you..."
"Oh, I'm so very, very pitiful, having no honey! ...so, naturally, you
should let me have the little ones."
"M... miss...?"

"Sorry for being so cute!"



And thus, on that day, for the first time in her life,
Reimu realized the true horror of meeting a Deibu.


From that day forward, Miss was always smiling, warm, pleasant-
smelling, and took it very easy.
And from that day forward, Reimu made her happy (according to Miss)
living, as always, forevermore.

--

The title of this story is a doble entendre. The Japanese language
reflects how punctuation isn't a native thing to it; all punctuation
used in Japanese is adapted from exposure to foreign languages.
Thus, depending on how you vocally punctuate the title, it can have
two different meanings.

First: "Deibu, Onee-san to" → "Deibu, together with Miss"
Second: "Deibu-Onee-san to" → "Together with Miss Deibu"

[Matt]

Lol, That's awesome. Bout time someone turned that stupid shit against
them.

[Poweryoga]

I'm starting a fanclub for miss. >_>

[Thor_21]

count me in

[Tinweasel]

Minor quibble: the start of the story mentions Reimu having five
babies on her stalk, then says it has two Marisas and two Reimus (four
total). Solution to the quibble: it's Reimu's count, and yukkuris
can't freakin' count.

Also, joining Miss's fanclub. As treasurer. Everyone pay dues easy.

[Toawa]

Miss ate one of them spread on toast.

[tora]

Ah, that's just a typo. The story said "two Marisas and three Reimus".
Didn't realize I had made that error.

[DESTROYYUKKURIS]

...That was probably the most interesting Yukkuri story I've seen
yet.

That was quite clever, to actually be able to make a stupid yukkuri, a
DEIBU no less, actually SEE it's own past actions and REGRET them.

Thanks a lot! I liked this story!

[Ohai]

Woah, did I just read right?

>And thus, Reimu made up her mind to leave this house.
>She would apologize to Miss properly the next day...

>"...and that's how it is. Reimu has reflected on her actions, easy."

Awesome story, and a nice twist to yukkuri torment.

[cluster]

While the children did not disown her during the story, this might
happen later. So...

Anyway, great story. Miss Deibu here is a wonder.

[Poweryoga]

I realize that the interaction between miss and deibu is the main
attraction here, but I couldn't help but notice the lack of anything
from the koyukkuris.

But I guess who would care about the koyukkuris when miss is there. :d

[tora]

Yes, Miss Deibu is truly a wonder. Discovering, all on her own, the
only known method of de-shitheadizing yukkuri.

Quite a shame that she turned out to be the human equivalent of a
Deibu, but, credit where credit is due.

And yes, we see little from the koyukkuri, but I think I know why:
they weren't shitheads, and this story is primarily about a human out-
shitheading a shithead. The kos are unfortunate plot devices to that
end.

Also, did anyone else notice that Miss' culling of the second Marisa
didn't help reduce the "who should answer when I call for Reimu?"
confusion? She was the only Marisa left; numbering her was pointless
when she was the only one who'd answer to "Marisa"...

[DESTROYYUKKURIS]

Deibu's are never very smart. And even when they are, they often take
the most "cruel/severe/jackassed" path to doing things in a matter-of-
fact fashion.
It seems to be their natural thought process to unconciously ruin
things even when they don't need to.

So...if Marisa, which is "just another ugly servant", is just a
servant, she doesn't need a real name at all.