From my experience directors and DOPs always assumes a lens is on a moving picture film camera in the Super 35 format, not a 35mm stills camera.
I know it's very confusing that they almost have the same name, but the film back size is very different.
On a 35mm stills camera (Nikon D4/D800 and Canon 1D, 5D), the Film Aperture width is 36mm (yes 36 and not 35).
The Super 35 film format used for movies has a Film Aperture width of 24.89mm. This format is very rare now in the digital age but the Red and Alexa follows the Super 35 standard pretty closely with the Alexa at 23.76mm and the Red Epic at 27.7mm.
The Nikon DX format and Canon APS-C cameras also has a size very close to Super 35. In fact, the majority of DOPs I've met actually use Nikon DX cameras, probably because they can just shoot stills on location scouts and tech recces and know they can use the same focal length when shooting with the Red or Alexa.
Bottom line... if a director or a DOP talks about a 40mm lens, it's probably safe to assume a Film Back (Film Aperture) of around 24mm (Super 35), but if you're in doubt, just ask him/her.
Personally, I always set Softimage to use the Alexa size of 23.76mm because 90% of all the work we do with live action is shot on the Alexa. Of course I change the Film Aperture if it's shot on anything else.
It's also worth noting that depending on the resolution/format being recorded on Alexa and Epic, they use different amount of pixels on the sensor and thereby changing the size of the Film Back as well.
Hopes this clears it up further.
/Jens