labels???
maria
brother is bi-polar. what does that mean? i know what it means it the
medical world, but what is my brother trying to get out that he's
being labeled as "bi-polar"? a few nights ago he phoned me and almost
in tears he begged me to not put him in the hospital again. in the
past that's what i've done. he was acting out of the ordinary so i
consulted and had him put in the hospital where he stayed for eight
months. i never felt it helped him. what it did was shut him up and
put on heavy medication that has caused him not to lead a good life.
when he shut up and kept everything to himself, he was released and we
were told he is better now. i only realize this now. we shut him up!
and every few years we go through the same pattern. well the that time
has come again and i aproach it differently. over the last few months
we have been discussing things that i've been experiencing and he's
been curious,very curious about how i live my life now. i told him how
he should listen to his body and not care what others think of him.
well this lead to him stopping his medications and feeling liberated
by it. i think this is great but my mother tells me to watch what i
tell him and not to talk to much to him about my experience,
so here i am today saying in the past we have shut him up so that it's
easier for us! well i stop today. he is his own person and i will not
stop him this time.and i will not let the medical sytem stop him
eithetr. so what do i do?
i don't do anything. and this is new for me. to just step back and
watch what unfolds in him. and then there's the old.......i have to
help him, rescue him.......but who am i rescuing? him or myself?
i want to show him so much but i don't know how or maybe this
time .....i don't want to.......the guilt i feel that i might not want
to help him. i want him to feel great and well but i want him to do
it...not me for him
maria
sarah
This post is probably the first one that I have read that contained
something massive for myself. As a nursing student taking a mental
health class and as an individual who has very different beliefs on
what mental health is and from my own experience of coming off meds
cold turkey.
From my experience of it all in my self, its unprocessed info, its
choice after choice made in very old information. The symptoms of
withdraw were manifestations of HUGE amounts of information ready to
move and it did. I was only able to do it becuase of the trust I
found in my body from the wellsystems. Thats awesome that your
brother had an insight that he was done with the old box from feeling
your vibrations of discovering something more for yourself.
I too felt very "liberated" and free, even as the room was spinning
and I had to hold on to something so I wouldn't fall down, even when
my whole body just felt like it was going to shut down, even when I
could barely get to 5 oclock check out time at work running to my car
as the tears started coming (the releases were HUGE). Through it all
it all felt right. And to an outsider might have seemed crazy.
I remember my neigbor telling me that I didn't have to do it this way
and that I might loose my job, etc. And I remember sitting in my
apartment with the choice and the fear. What came up for me was no, I
am done putting one more pill in my mouth. I knew that the "skills"
that I was going to need to get to move through this where skills that
were going to take me big places. Bigger then the small life that I
felt I had at the time. The skills turned out to be just plain trust
and its been a very interesting ride so far :) But its been so worth
it :)
What came up for me as I read this was oh my gosh, he needs help with
this, it might be bad for his body coming of Lithium and I caught
myself. And I read your post again, its his journey and its his
choice. And I didn't realize how fast I went back into habituated
training mode. They teach us that safety is first. People who have
this "mental illness" are at a risk for not being safe, being out of
control, not resourceful, might harm self. Yet, I was very safe and
I started to find an internal safety that I didn't know existed for
myself because of the labels. I had lots of people around me that
knew a different way who I engaged with a lot. I went through
expereinces of others going "poor girl, thats too bad". And they were
not fun, yet was a part of me learning to trust myself even more.
I also feel this sense of huge excitement that others on meds are
finding a new way. Our genious self knows deep down inside life is
bigger. I have often pondered how my own experience could be of a
benefit in the mental health and medical industry, hense why I am most
likely in nursing right now. I have no idea what it will look like
but I feel something emerging on my own path and its pretty exciting.
The invitation is there for your brother if he ever wants to connect
with me. I can only share my experience but as you know, that in
itself ignites transformation :)
Thank you for writing about your brother , he is definitly NOT
alone :)
Maria Motta
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