ATEOTD 224 POSTED BY REQUEST
Arsene Dover
I'd just like to take this opportunity on behalf of everybody, and from
all of his future loyal subjects, to wish His Royal Highness Prince
William a very happy 18th birthday. I'd like to wish him a happy 18th
birthday, but I'm not fucking going to. He can fuck off, the atavistic
buck-toothed ugly fucking parasitic mongrel. I hope he fucking dies and
in extremely horrible and nasty circumstances, just like his dirty
slutbag whore of a slack-fannied mother.
There, I've said it. I have finally come off the fence and declared
myself as a fervent anti-royalist. Bunch of fucking cunts. I'm sick of
hearing about him, all fucking day. Non-stop coverage of the fact that
the future king of England is eighteen today. So fucking what, like?
People turn eighteen every day of the fucking year. But no-one makes a
fuss, do they? Oh no, but this is different, naturally. This is Prince
William, and he's a special case.
"Ooooh, isn't he handsome, the young prince?"
Er...no, is he bollocks handsome. He's a fucking hideous little
shithouse with a face like a sucked cock.
"Ooooh, at six-foot-two isn't he very tall?"
Er...no, not really. I'm six-foot-two, but there's nothing specially
tall about that. There's a kid of 19 lives two doors down from me and
that cunt's six-five. What does that make him? And I once knew this kid
who was six-eight at the age of fifteen. Big fucking deal.
"Ooooh, isn't he a good footballer?"
Is he? At eighteen Michael Owen was scoring goals for England in World
Cup Finals matches. So what's fucking good about the fact that Prince
William kicks a ball about once or twice a week on the playing fields of
Eton? Get to fuck, the lot of you. They showed some film of Prince
William today, studying at his extremely privileged public school. Did
you see that? The cunt's left-handed. And if that's not bad enough
(because there's not a left-handed bastard who ever could write to save
his life), he writes like a fucking spastic. A left-handed king of
England? They'd have burned the twat at the stake a couple of hundred
years ago.
"Aaaaarrgghh!!! See how the prince doth write with his left hand? Burn
him. Kill the heretic. Die, infidel!"
"Oooooh, doesn't he look just like his mother?"
What, you mean propped up in the back of a Mercedes with a hole in his
chest the size of Whitley Bay? Well, we can only hope. Then the bloke on
the news said that the young prince was studying hard for his A-levels,
hoping to do well so that he can take Art History at university -
hopefully Oxford or Cambridge - and that he thinks it is important to
plan for his future. What the fuck is all that about? "Hoping to do
well"? Yeah, right...and like he's really gonna fucking fail his exams,
I do not bastard think.
"What's that? You're marking Prince William's A-level art exam? Fuck
that. Just write PASSED on the top and send it fucking back. Orders from
Whitehall."
And he wants to "hopefully go to Oxford or Cambridge"...hmmmm, do you
think he will receive the same treatment/assessment as that working
class girl from Newcastle-upon Tyne recently? Remember? The one who
passed with top marks in everything, but whom they would not allow in
because she was "not confident enough for life at Oxford"? Or is the
there just the teensiest possibility that he might just scrape through
on merit? And what the fuck does he want to study Art History for? All
he has to do is take a walk through Windsor Castle and he can see all
the fucking Art History he cunting well likes.
"Yes, Your Royal Highness...this is Cezanne's 'Les Grandes Baigneuses'.
It was brought to Windsor by your great-great-grandfather in
1897...sorry, sir, how much did he pay for it? Er...fuck all, actually,
your Royal Highness. He just robbed it off a load of fucking peasants.
The cunts."
And as for "planning for the future". Pardon me, but isn't the rugby
ball-headed freak's future already pretty well planned out for him? What
does he need to plan for? He's got billions of pounds already, and
stands to cream a few hundred more billions off us poor cunts before his
time is up, and he needs to plan for the future? Somebody tell me what
Prince Charles's fucking job is. Come on...what the fuck is it? Does he
fill in a tax form and have to write PRINCE OF WALES in the box marked
OCCUPATION? What the fuck does he do? Answer: a great big fat steaming
cowing pile of fuck all. Which, by a bizarre coincidence, is precisely
what the queen, Prince Phillip, Princess Margaret, Prince Edward, Prince
Andrew, the Queen Rotten Teeth and all the rest of them do. Fuck all.
Everywhere in this country there are millions of 18-year-old kids doing
their heads in because their A-levels are the be all and end all. They
worry about having good enough grades, about whether they will cope at
university...if they get in, about student loans and about dozens of
other things - not least of all if there will even be a fucking job for
them at the end of their long and hard years of academic toil and
struggling. And that ugly privileged fucking chinless barbarian who
murders small animals at the weekend on horseback...his biggest worry in
his entire life will be whether or not he is holding his dessert spoon
correctly. The fuck!
I'm fucking sick of the Royal Family, me. Nobody ever says anything
really negative about any of them. Oh, they pass the occasional remark,
but it's never anything personal, no matter what they do. With Prince
Andrew it's always how handsome he is. With the Queen it's always how
dignified she appears and how hard she works. Prince Edward gets praise
for being such an ordinary sort of bloke, and even the Duke of Edinburgh
is regaled for his ready wit and pithy demeanour. As for the Queen
Mother...well she can do now wrong, and Princess Margaret seldom goes
without a word for her bravery in the face of a lifetime of personal
health hardship.
Well, they can go and fuck. The Queen is a miserable wretched old cow
who has no sense of humour and couldn't care less if her "loyal
subjects" all fucking perished in an earthquake. Prince Andrew is a
faggot who married some old ginger tart, and who hasn't been near a
woman since. Prince Edward...well, the less said about that cunt the
better. He left the Marines because it didn't suit him. Bollocks! He
left the Marines because he was a great big fucking nancy boy
arsewanker. Prince Charles is nowt but a big-eared twat who was shagging
that old tusker Camilla while his wife was off shagging rugby players
and fucking England polo team captains. Princess Margaret is never
fucking sober long enough to remember that she's a member of the Royal
Family. Every morning when she gets up - before she runs the scalding
bath into which she will later dip her fat flabby arse - she asks:
"I say...who the fuck is one? And where the fuck is one? Why is one's
room spinning and why is there a traffic cone in one's bed...one could
just murder a fucking kebab."
And I won't even start on that wizened and dithering old bastard, the
Queen Mother yet. I'll leave that for her 100th birthday tribute, or for
when she dies... whichever is the sooner.
Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all, I say. Here's hoping that Prince William gets
AIDS from shagging some Eton fucking felch-queen and withers away to
bugger all. Either that or he is assassinated.
Did anybody see the England team getting off their plane today? See
that? David Beckham...that hunky macho pin-up of all the ladies and
young girls? And what was he carrying? A fucking tartan bastard handbag.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! You fucking great big nancy boy arse-feeling
bum-groping queer bastard. A fucking handbag. No doubt all The Scum fans
will be out shopping tomorrow, filling up the Arndale Centre as they try
to find one "just like David's". You know the sort - the ones who call
themselves "Becks" in his honour on the Internet. The fucking gayboy
stalker types who would happily wank him off if only he would let them.
Hahahahahahahaa!!
Can you imagine David Batty coming down the steps of a 747 carrying a
fucking tartan handbag? I think not. Could you see Stuart Pearce, Steve
McMahon and Paul Gascoigne ponsing about the Heathrow terminal with one
of them cunts slung over their shoulders? Like fuck. No man in his right
mind carries a fucking handbag...not for anything! Beckham, you are a
fucking gayboy nancy buttock-grinding pillow-biting arse-rimming twat,
and everybody fucking knows it.
Well, everybody except those blinded cunts who follow Scumchester
Uwankted. No doubt they will excuse this behaviour just like they
excused it when he admitted to wearing his slapper wife's underwear. You
really do have to feel sorry for these cunts. David Beckham is an
average crosser of the ball with no left foot, no skill on the ball,
very little vision and is possibly the dirtiest player in the country
right now. He is also a thick bastard with a crooked gob and a voice
like Dennis Wise's little brother, wears women's knickers, walks like a
girl and carries a tartan handbag. And Scum fans treat him like a God.
Now does tell you all you need to know, or what?
--
Arthur Thacker
http://forum.onecenter.com/athacker
http://www.millersfield.demon.co.uk/archives.htm
alt.scum - Thacker's Own