UKSF CL Replay
Joe Horowitz
Joe
--
"WHAT A SHIT WEBSITE! ITS NOT WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN SHIT!"
Paul C
<jh007c31...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>Oh, ffs. This could well be ridiculously close again.
Hmm
JJ 57.49 + Saha + Jensen + Holland
SSF 60.93 + Saha
with points totals rounded down.
Prepare for penalty kicks.
--
Paul
Joe Horowitz
"Paul C" <pa...@thersgb.net> wrote in message
news:408592e2...@news.individual.de...
> On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 22:03:30 +0100, "Joe Horowitz"
> <jh007c31...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >Oh, ffs. This could well be ridiculously close again.
>
> Hmm
>
> JJ 57.49 + Saha + Jensen + Holland
> SSF 60.93 + Saha
>
> with points totals rounded down.
Saha has scored well for both of us, leaving the League well and truly
two-horse-racelike in appearance. Jensen and Holland, though, it's fucking hard to
tell from the text commentary. Just a couple of SOT's would have sealed it for us
easy, but as it is, we're looking at a cross or two from Jensen, Holland won a free
kick at one point, that sort of thing. I reckon I counted about six points between
them, but that doesn't take into accont tackles lost and a couple of other things.
It really could be another cunting bastard draw. Cunts.
> Prepare for penalty kicks.
By my reckoning, I'd lose on those.
Tense, nervous times.
OscarG
> Oh, ffs. This could well be ridiculously close again.
Can't see it myself, Joe. I'm sure Holland and Jensen can scrape more than
a couple of points together from corners and tackles won etc. I'd just
like it to go on record that when I catch up with Ladyboy Scholes I'm
going to punch him in the face. He won't ever play for Fusion again, you
can be sure of that.
As for the CL replay I was going to do a bomb-scare for tonight's game but
I fell asleep. What a bastard.
--
OscarG
Paul C
wrote:
Phew! I'd forgotten to make provision for bomb scares in the rules.
--
Paul
Joe Horowitz
"OscarG" <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:c644sa$807ri$1...@ID-131154.news.uni-berlin.de...
> On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 22:03:30 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > Oh, ffs. This could well be ridiculously close again.
>
> Can't see it myself, Joe. I'm sure Holland and Jensen can scrape more than
> a couple of points together from corners and tackles won etc. I'd just
> like it to go on record that when I catch up with Ladyboy Scholes I'm
> going to punch him in the face. He won't ever play for Fusion again, you
> can be sure of that.
I don't blame you. Dropping him this week was just about the smartest thing I've
done all season.
> As for the CL replay I was going to do a bomb-scare for tonight's game but
> I fell asleep. What a bastard.
That is indeed unfortunate. Well, I still maintain it's going down to the wire, if
there is a margin of victory for either side it's going to be no more than a couple
of points.
What's your overall position, btw? I've been climbing the rankings steadily for
about two months now, for most of this season I've been around three or four
thousandth, now I'm 824th. Yours must be in the high seven-hundreds or something.
Makes you wonder if the standard in this newsgroup is now starting to reach the top
level, there's probably a few of us here who can reasonably hope to challenge for a
shot at the leaderboard next year. Can you imagine that? A Youksefer on the Yahoo
leaderboard? Could happen, you know.
Paul C
<jh007c31...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>
>What's your overall position, btw? I've been climbing the rankings steadily for
>about two months now, for most of this season I've been around three or four
>thousandth, now I'm 824th. Yours must be in the high seven-hundreds or something.
>
That's impressive
>Makes you wonder if the standard in this newsgroup is now starting to reach the top
>level, there's probably a few of us here who can reasonably hope to challenge for a
>shot at the leaderboard next year. Can you imagine that? A Youksefer on the Yahoo
>leaderboard? Could happen, you know.
You should swallow your pride and join the RSS competition next
season.
Last season the top points totals were well above UKSF. This season
you two, along with M&S and Roubles, are up there with the leaders
Top 7 scores in RSS at the moment
Silent Bobs Stash 2816.28
ruudaldinho 2657.63
Jules Blue Boys 2618.77
FC Ron Geremi 2608.69
Cosmopolitannica 2603.10
Saiyajins Devastators 2600.10
Silent Bob was actually in the top 50 for a couple of weeks earlier in
the season.
However .......the most amazing fact about RSS this season is that
Johnshaven Dauntless have just made it to the last 8 of their
Champions' League equivalent (from an entry of 64). And this despite
being 26th in the rankings.
But I don't hold out much hope for them in the 1/4 final against 7th
ranked Jiggly Jugs.
--
Paul
OscarG
> On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 22:31:56 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>>
>>As for the CL replay I was going to do a bomb-scare for tonight's game but
>>I fell asleep. What a bastard.
>
> Phew! I'd forgotten to make provision for bomb scares in the rules.
Yes, I had noticed. You have to be two steps ahead in these modern times.
--
OscarG
OscarG
> "OscarG" <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> As for the CL replay I was going to do a bomb-scare for tonight's game
>> but I fell asleep. What a bastard.
>
> That is indeed unfortunate. Well, I still maintain it's going down to
> the wire, if there is a margin of victory for either side it's going to
> be no more than a couple of points.
Ah well. We'll just have to see how the scores go.
> What's your overall position, btw? I've been climbing the rankings
> steadily for about two months now, for most of this season I've been
> around three or four thousandth, now I'm 824th. Yours must be in the
> high seven-hundreds or something.
I'm currently at #593 with a shift of +155 in the last 24hrs.
> Makes you wonder if the standard in this newsgroup is now starting to
> reach the top level, there's probably a few of us here who can
> reasonably hope to challenge for a shot at the leaderboard next year.
> Can you imagine that? A Youksefer on the Yahoo leaderboard? Could
> happen, you know.
I have total confidence that I'll make the leader board at some stage, you
must too.
--
OscarG
Joe Horowitz
> On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 22:49:21 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > That is indeed unfortunate. Well, I still maintain it's going down to
> > the wire, if there is a margin of victory for either side it's going to
> > be no more than a couple of points.
>
> Ah well. We'll just have to see how the scores go.
Either way, it's been a truly astonishing semi-final. After three whole matches and
numerous double-fixtures, for it to come down to whether or not Matt Holland get's
credited for a blocked-shot in the 53rd minute or something is just silly.
> I'm currently at #593 with a shift of +155 in the last 24hrs.
Right, so there's a twenty-point gap between 800 and 600, not much at all. I wonder
how many till you get to 400 etc. I reckon we'll rock on a few more places when
Saha's score comes through.
> I have total confidence that I'll make the leader board at some stage, you
> must too.
More confidence than I have that Yahoo will do this game for free again next year,
and that they won't start losing more fixtures. According to the ever-informative
message board, they've out-sourced it all to Hubli Jubli these days.
We pay because we buy viagra or something.
OscarG
>>> That is indeed unfortunate. Well, I still maintain it's going down to
>>> the wire, if there is a margin of victory for either side it's going
>>> to be no more than a couple of points.
>>
>> Ah well. We'll just have to see how the scores go.
>
> Either way, it's been a truly astonishing semi-final. After three whole
> matches and numerous double-fixtures, for it to come down to whether or
> not Matt Holland get's credited for a blocked-shot in the 53rd minute or
> something is just silly.
Well, I'd say that's pretty much my only hope. But I doubt if even one of
them has scored less than enough to get you through.
>> I'm currently at #593 with a shift of +155 in the last 24hrs.
>
> Right, so there's a twenty-point gap between 800 and 600, not much at
> all. I wonder how many till you get to 400 etc. I reckon we'll rock on
> a few more places when Saha's score comes through.
I didn't watch the game did he have a good-un aside from the goal?
>> I have total confidence that I'll make the leader board at some stage,
>> you must too.
>
> More confidence than I have that Yahoo will do this game for free again
> next year, and that they won't start losing more fixtures. According to
> the ever-informative message board, they've out-sourced it all to Hubli
> Jubli these days.
Yeah, they had as all in suspense at the beginning of this season. I'd be
mightily pissed off if they didn't hook us up next season. I've grown to
love the Yahoo jib.
> We pay because we buy viagra or something.
I have all ads and bloat removed with ad-muncher, I see none of the
advertising.
Speaking of Viagra tho', I never knew you could buy it over the counter in
Tesco these days. How much do they charge?
--
OscarG
Ben Nunn
news:c64civ$7pq8o$1...@ID-146919.news.uni-berlin.de...
>
>
> > I have total confidence that I'll make the leader board at some stage,
you
> > must too.
And I'm a big cock of shit, my side is rubbish, I've never had that annoying
cunt Henry, and I didn't know the rules for most of the season... and even
/I/ have a 9i percentile, which I think means I'm in the top 9% of players
overall. Cunts.
> More confidence than I have that Yahoo will do this game for free again
next year,
I'd prefer it if it wasn't free, tbh. Investment encourages me to make an
effort.
BTN
Ben Nunn
>
> You should swallow your pride and join the RSS competition next
> season.
LOL!111111111shitnewgay!1
BTN
Kullrad
news:c65g9l$7totq$1...@ID-55895.news.uni-berlin.de:
>> More confidence than I have that Yahoo will do this game for free
>> again
> next year,
>
>
> I'd prefer it if it wasn't free, tbh. Investment encourages me to make
> an effort.
I'll give you £10 to cheer up.
--
Kullrad (14)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
There's going to be knives!
Joe Horowitz
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 00:44:52 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > Either way, it's been a truly astonishing semi-final. After three whole
> > matches and numerous double-fixtures, for it to come down to whether or
> > not Matt Holland get's credited for a blocked-shot in the 53rd minute or
> > something is just silly.
>
> Well, I'd say that's pretty much my only hope. But I doubt if even one of
> them has scored less than enough to get you through.
As it turns out, you're completely right. Individual player scores updated now,
looks like they got about fifteen between them last night. Fuck knows where that
came from.
> > Right, so there's a twenty-point gap between 800 and 600, not much at
> > all. I wonder how many till you get to 400 etc. I reckon we'll rock on
> > a few more places when Saha's score comes through.
>
> I didn't watch the game did he have a good-un aside from the goal?
He got the assist as well, couple of SOT's, maybe about twenty points from the match.
> Yeah, they had as all in suspense at the beginning of this season. I'd be
> mightily pissed off if they didn't hook us up next season. I've grown to
> love the Yahoo jib.
Me too. Despite people complaining about it all the time, I think it's a very fine
FF game, the best I've come across. Slow to update on occasion, but as far as I can
tell the Brum/Bolton game is the only one they've actually cocked up in three years.
> I have all ads and bloat removed with ad-muncher, I see none of the
> advertising.
I'll have to look into that.
> Speaking of Viagra tho', I never knew you could buy it over the counter in
> Tesco these days. How much do they charge?
I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for two quid a pop?
Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
Ben Nunn
> > Speaking of Viagra tho', I never knew you could buy it over the counter
in
> > Tesco these days. How much do they charge?
>
> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for two
quid a pop?
> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a pop?
Swings and roundabouts.
BTN
Kullrad
>> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for
>> two
> quid a pop?
>> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
>
>
> Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a pop?
>
> Swings and roundabouts.
How much can you get swings and roundabouts for then?
Serious Tiger
>"Ben Nunn" <ben...@depro.co.uk> wrote in
>news:c65m4o$80l80$1...@ID-55895.news.uni-berlin.de:
>
>>> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for
>>> two
>> quid a pop?
>>> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
>>
>>
>> Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a pop?
>>
>> Swings and roundabouts.
>
>How much can you get swings and roundabouts for then?
http://www.wicksteed.co.uk/playground_equipment/outdoor_play_equipment.htm
HTH. HAND.
~ST~
--
"His head was alarming large, and growing daily."
Nunn Out.
Kullrad
news:seoc80p0u166hekmj...@4ax.com:
>>>> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy
>>>> for two
>>> quid a pop?
>>>> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
>>>
>>>
>>> Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a
>>> pop?
>>>
>>> Swings and roundabouts.
>>
>>How much can you get swings and roundabouts for then?
>
> http://www.wicksteed.co.uk/playground_equipment/outdoor_play_equipment.
> htm
>
> HTH. HAND.
So who the fuck needs ectasty or viagra when you can get swings and
roundabouts?
cypher
says...
> Serious Tiger <You...@deletespamfilter.serioustiger.com> wrote in
> news:seoc80p0u166hekmj...@4ax.com:
>
> >>>> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy
> >>>> for two
> >>> quid a pop?
> >>>> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a
> >>> pop?
> >>>
> >>> Swings and roundabouts.
> >>
> >>How much can you get swings and roundabouts for then?
> >
> > http://www.wicksteed.co.uk/playground_equipment/outdoor_play_equipment.
> > htm
> >
> > HTH. HAND.
>
> So who the fuck needs ectasty or viagra when you can get swings and
> roundabouts?
don't forget the seesaw, kully, no need for uppers and downers with one
of those either.
I have two houseflies divebombing me in a persistant fashion. I'm tempted
to end their lives but once in a while they land on my arm and it
tickles.
--
(19) Cypher
Serious Tiger
>> So who the fuck needs ectasty or viagra when you can get swings and
>> roundabouts?
>
>don't forget the seesaw, kully, no need for uppers and downers with one
>of those either.
>
Cypher, that's terrible.
>I have two houseflies divebombing me in a persistant fashion. I'm tempted
>to end their lives but once in a while they land on my arm and it
>tickles.
Quick! Smear some honey on your cock!
Ben Nunn
"Serious Tiger" <You...@deletespamfilter.serioustiger.com> wrote in message
news:v6vc8056q9i69dj2k...@4ax.com...
>
>
> >I have two houseflies divebombing me in a persistant fashion. I'm tempted
> >to end their lives but once in a while they land on my arm and it
> >tickles.
>
> Quick! Smear some honey on your cock!
Why? It's not like he's going to be sucked off by a bear, is it? Ah, I see
your point. Disregard.
BTN
cypher
ben...@depro.co.uk says...
Speaking of bears, I was trawling through the newsfroups one day and
spotted one with the word `dropbears' in the title. Interest pricked, I
subscribed. At first I thought it was just a bunch of half naked middle-
aged bikers posting pictures of some pissup until I realised they were
sucking each others cocks and fucking each other in the arse region.
I don't know if these grizzled knobgobblers took over an abandoned froup
or created one specifically for the purpose of posting fuck & suck pics
but interest satiated I unsubscribed and moved on my merry way.
Maybe they _were_ bikers, maybe a `dropbear' is a biker whats had his
Harley break down and is willing to overlook the throbbing chopper
between his legs has nuts instead of wheels.
--
(19) Cypher
OscarG
>> of them has scored less than enough to get you through.
>
> As it turns out, you're completely right. Individual player scores
> updated now, looks like they got about fifteen between them last night.
> Fuck knows where that came from.
Ah well then, let me be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations. I'm
delighted for you. It has been a great and very interesting contest and I
wish you well for the final.
>> Speaking of Viagra tho', I never knew you could buy it over the counter
>> in Tesco these days. How much do they charge?
>
> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for two
> quid a pop? Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
Some people might want to go straight for the sex without a big dance
beforehand?
My position in the world league has just shifted out to #600 btw.
--
OscarG
Serious Tiger
>Ah well then, let me be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations. I'm
>delighted for you. It has been a great and very interesting contest and I
>wish you well for the final.
>
By all of which you mean, "Cunt", right?
He means "Cunt", Joe. He does.
OscarG
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 16:35:24 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>> Ah well then, let me be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations.
>> I'm delighted for you. It has been a great and very interesting contest
>> and I wish you well for the final.
>>
> By all of which you mean, "Cunt", right?
Yes, of course I do. I feel cheated, persecuted and a whole host of other
things. They didn't want me to go through, I'm not the story they want. The
minute I took the bastard gay test I was off the agenda good and proper.
> He means "Cunt", Joe. He does.
I do, Joe. I do. Cunt.
--
OscarG
Osbourne Ruddock
"Kullrad" <kullra...@hotpop.com> wrote in message
news:Xns94D282DF...@130.133.1.4...
> "Ben Nunn" <ben...@depro.co.uk> wrote in
> news:c65m4o$80l80$1...@ID-55895.news.uni-berlin.de:
>
> >> I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for
> >> two
> > quid a pop?
> >> Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
> >
> >
> > Who the fuck needs ecstasy when you can get Viagra for two quid a pop?
> >
> > Swings and roundabouts.
>
> How much can you get swings and roundabouts for then?
About 1.5 urethras in Ben's case.
Osbourne Ruddock
"cypher" <cyp...@home.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.1af13d395...@news.easynews.com...
> In article <Xns94D285CE...@130.133.1.4>, kullra...@hotpop.com
> says...
> > Serious Tiger <You...@deletespamfilter.serioustiger.com> wrote in
> > news:seoc80p0u166hekmj...@4ax.com:
> >
<snip>
>
> I have two houseflies divebombing me in a persistant fashion. I'm tempted
> to end their lives but once in a while they land on my arm and it
> tickles.
Have you had multitudes of stupid little flies invading your house since
mid-Summer. It's been bloody shocking down our way. Never known it so bad,
reckon it's a present from Oztralia or something?
Cheers, Os
>
> --
> (19) Cypher
Joe Horowitz
> <jh007c31...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> >Could happen, you know.
>
> You should swallow your pride and join the RSS competition next
> season.
Hmmm.....I'm not sure about that. I'll give it some thought.
> Last season the top points totals were well above UKSF. This season
> you two, along with M&S and Roubles, are up there with the leaders
>
> Top 7 scores in RSS at the moment
>
> Silent Bobs Stash 2816.28
> ruudaldinho 2657.63
> Jules Blue Boys 2618.77
> FC Ron Geremi 2608.69
> Cosmopolitannica 2603.10
> Saiyajins Devastators 2600.10
So that would place Oscar and I in 2nd and 3rd. Not bad.
> Silent Bob was actually in the top 50 for a couple of weeks earlier in
> the season.
Respect. I'd love to see the Jellies on that leaderboard, I really would.
> However .......the most amazing fact about RSS this season is that
> Johnshaven Dauntless have just made it to the last 8 of their
> Champions' League equivalent (from an entry of 64). And this despite
> being 26th in the rankings.
>
> But I don't hold out much hope for them in the 1/4 final against 7th
> ranked Jiggly Jugs.
Good luck with that. Let us know how you get on, it would be good to see a Youksefer
take a trophy over there. Which brings me onto my next point, how about an
inter-league Champion's League, starting the seaon after next (Yahoo arsedness
pending, of course)?
It would give those lower down in the table something left to play for as the season
draws to a close. Just a thought.
Joe Horowitz
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 12:26:50 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > As it turns out, you're completely right. Individual player scores
> > updated now, looks like they got about fifteen between them last night.
> > Fuck knows where that came from.
>
> Ah well then, let me be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations. I'm
> delighted for you. It has been a great and very interesting contest and I
> wish you well for the final.
Awww, thanks. I'd like to be able to return the compliment and wish you well in your
upcoming League run-in against the Jellies, but I'm still involved in that one so it
wouldn't be sincere. All I'll say, though, is thanks, and well fucking played. You
really took the advantage when you put your faith in Michael Owen, all I could do was
to place similar confidence in the hand of Charlton players and hope for the best.
And yes, I did buy my staff a round of drinks tonight.
Okay, I put the drinks through the tills as "staff complimentary (100%)", BMPS.
> Some people might want to go straight for the sex without a big dance
> beforehand?
Doesn't change my viewpoint, I'm afraid.
> My position in the world league has just shifted out to #600 btw.
Mine's gone to 684. I think we've both left it too late to reach the top 50, but
next season could be a different story.
Joe Horowitz
"Serious Tiger" <You...@deletespamfilter.serioustiger.com> wrote in message
news:6t5d8056u9c9uiu8e...@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 16:35:24 +0100, OscarG <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >Ah well then, let me be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations. I'm
> >delighted for you. It has been a great and very interesting contest and I
> >wish you well for the final.
> >
> By all of which you mean, "Cunt", right?
>
> He means "Cunt", Joe. He does.
I know, but he's actually talking to you. He is.
Joe Horowitz
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 15:47:30 +0000 (UTC), Serious Tiger wrote:
> > By all of which you mean, "Cunt", right?
>
> Yes, of course I do. I feel cheated, persecuted and a whole host of other
> things. They didn't want me to go through, I'm not the story they want. The
> minute I took the bastard gay test I was off the agenda good and proper.
I'm not rising to this.
> > He means "Cunt", Joe. He does.
>
> I do, Joe. I do. Cunt.
Or that.
Osbourne Ruddock
Have you tried sex on ecstasy? HPS.
Cheers, Os
>
Joe Horowitz
"Osbourne Ruddock" <stri...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:tjEhc.1849$_s.5...@news.xtra.co.nz...
You know, Os, I've a funny feeling he has. To be fair, I've never tried sex on
Viagra so if Oscar's done that, he's one step ahead of me and HP might S after all.
Magic mushrooms are good as well, tripped-out sex is great fun and can be hilarious.
Glad he and I aren't the only two here who appreciate the joys of combining MDMA with
wanton pussy, though. Good for you. Even better for whoever you've done it with.
Call me a frigid old bastard, but there's just no way I'd be arsed to have it off for
seven hours or something if I wasn't completely cunted.
Osbourne Ruddock
I know what you mean. I had VB stroke me tingler for 7 minutes the other day
and that was more than enough, I can tell you.
Cheers, Os
cypher
says...
> > I have two houseflies divebombing me in a persistant fashion. I'm tempted
> > to end their lives but once in a while they land on my arm and it
> > tickles.
>
> Have you had multitudes of stupid little flies invading your house since
> mid-Summer. It's been bloody shocking down our way. Never known it so bad,
> reckon it's a present from Oztralia or something?
To give them their scientific term:
"idiotus oztralias musca domestica"
Here's a scientific fact I found while looking for pictures of them to
show the froup:
"It is worth noting that a pair of entomologists called Yao and Yuan
after studying 378,046 House-flies estimated that in a residential area
each House-fly carries 1,941,000 bacteria, so don't let them get at your
food."
http://free.one.picturehost.co.uk/housefly.jpg
Its been rather wet up my way over the summer so the flies haven't been
quite as active as they usually are. I only recall the odd blowfly
(calliphora vomitoria) meandering around the house, I like to let those
bastards out a window if I can, if it wasn't for them and their ilk the
bodies would be piling high on the streets and I'd be stumbling over the
dead when I leave the house to buy ciggies. Fuck that, I only have one
pair of shoes.
http://free.one.picturehost.co.uk/blowfly.jpg
I have found 3 socio-economic ways to eradicate these flies.
For James Cook-like rich cunts:
For waged scallywags like Kullrad:
For poor people whose racist beliefs keep them unemployed like GreedyG:
I have too much time on my hands.
--
(19) Cypher
Robert Poleson
>
> "Osbourne Ruddock" <stri...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:tjEhc.1849$_s.5...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > "OscarG" <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:c664bs$8g3cf$1...@ID-131154.news.uni-berlin.de...
> > > On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 12:26:50 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > > > I've no idea, who the fuck needs Viagra when you can get ecstasy for two
> > > > quid a pop? Although, not from Tesco I hasten to add.
> > >
> > > Some people might want to go straight for the sex without a big dance
> > > beforehand?
> >
> > Have you tried sex on ecstasy? HPS.
>
> You know, Os, I've a funny feeling he has. To be fair, I've never tried sex on
> Viagra so if Oscar's done that, he's one step ahead of me and HP might S after all.
> Magic mushrooms are good as well, tripped-out sex is great fun and can be hilarious.
>
> Glad he and I aren't the only two here who appreciate the joys of combining MDMA with
> wanton pussy, though. Good for you. Even better for whoever you've done it with.
>
I don't know what kind of magic mushrooms you've been taking, but,
the last time I had any I had enough trouble keeping all my molecules
and atoms and stuff in the same room, never mind being able to get it
together long enough to shag anything.
> Call me a frigid old bastard, but there's just no way I'd be arsed to have it off for
> seven hours or something if I wasn't completely cunted.
>
I hope you got overtime.
--
rob at rjp.clara.net
> What's the fucking point of having a sig?
To make sure the world knows how bad James Cook is at typing.
Kullrad
news:MPG.1af23cfc3...@news.easynews.com:
-- snip fly talk --
> For waged scallywags like Kullrad:
>
> http://tinyurl.com/3h3dl
You rock Cyph, I want one now.
> For poor people whose racist beliefs keep them unemployed like
> GreedyG:
>
> http://tinyurl.com/26b33
I doubt Greedy even knows what these are. He's a 'Villa' fan.
> I have too much time on my hands.
You misspelt 'cum'.
O, A'G', O.
Joe Horowitz
"Robert Poleson" <s...@m.no> wrote in message
news:MPG.1af185feb...@news.clara.net...
> On Thu, 22 Apr 2004 01:34:53 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > You know, Os, I've a funny feeling he has. To be fair, I've never tried sex on
> > Viagra so if Oscar's done that, he's one step ahead of me and HP might S after
all.
> > Magic mushrooms are good as well, tripped-out sex is great fun and can be
> > hilarious.
> >
> > Glad he and I aren't the only two here who appreciate the joys of combining
> > MDMA with wanton pussy, though. Good for you. Even better for whoever
> > you've done it with.
>
> I don't know what kind of magic mushrooms you've been taking, but,
> the last time I had any I had enough trouble keeping all my molecules
> and atoms and stuff in the same room, never mind being able to get it
> together long enough to shag anything.
I'd only ever had the little Welsh ones up until my visit to Amsterdam, but they've
got these big Mexican fuckers over there and they pack a mighty punch. Six inches
long, these cunts were, and about two inches across the top of the head. To be
fair, you have to ingest quite a lot before you get to the point where you start
losing track of your atoms. There is such a thing as "dosage", you know.
Actually, this is Poleson I'm talking to, isn't it. Disregard.
> > Call me a frigid old bastard, but there's just no way I'd be arsed to have it off
for
> > seven hours or something if I wasn't completely cunted.
>
> I hope you got overtime.
Oh yes.
OscarG
> <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> Some people might want to go straight for the sex without a big dance
>> beforehand?
>
> Have you tried sex on ecstasy? HPS.
Yes, regularly over the last 16 years. I've also had coke snorted off every
part of my cock - fore, aft, port, starboard and bell-end by foxy ladies of
the night more times than I could ever remember.
I've always found ecstasy sex better after I've been to an underground club
and danced the night away with people who are into that groove. Later you
can roll around naked on the rug in front of the fire with a like-minded
lady, who is still feeling the music, well into the early hours to some
funked out soul grooves while you get wired some more.
--
OscarG
Robert Poleson
>
> "Robert Poleson" <s...@m.no> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1af185feb...@news.clara.net...
> > On Thu, 22 Apr 2004 01:34:53 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
> > > You know, Os, I've a funny feeling he has. To be fair, I've never tried sex on
> > > Viagra so if Oscar's done that, he's one step ahead of me and HP might S after
> all.
> > > Magic mushrooms are good as well, tripped-out sex is great fun and can be
> > > hilarious.
> > >
> > > Glad he and I aren't the only two here who appreciate the joys of combining
> > > MDMA with wanton pussy, though. Good for you. Even better for whoever
> > > you've done it with.
> >
> > I don't know what kind of magic mushrooms you've been taking, but,
> > the last time I had any I had enough trouble keeping all my molecules
> > and atoms and stuff in the same room, never mind being able to get it
> > together long enough to shag anything.
>
> I'd only ever had the little Welsh ones up until my visit to Amsterdam, but they've
> got these big Mexican fuckers over there and they pack a mighty punch. Six inches
> long, these cunts were, and about two inches across the top of the head. To be
> fair, you have to ingest quite a lot before you get to the point where you start
> losing track of your atoms. There is such a thing as "dosage", you know.
>
> Actually, this is Poleson I'm talking to, isn't it. Disregard.
>
Well, I've only ever had the small ones which grow wild in Shetland.
What we considered a good dose for one night was generally anything
from 30-60. That would last anywhere from 3 to 8 hours, the thing
with mushrooms was they were really unpredictable. The last time I
had any serious amount was about 15 or so years ago. I had about 250.
That was fun.
OscarG
>> "OscarG" <Oscar...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> You know, Os, I've a funny feeling he has. To be fair, I've never tried
> sex on Viagra so if Oscar's done that, he's one step ahead of me and HP
> might S after all.
No, I've never had viagra. It's been very popular with the 40 something
blokes in our boozer pretty much since it hit the streets tho. And the
stories you get out of them about it are "choice" to say the least.
Honestly, they have everyone in hysterics.
I've been offered them and bought Garys instead for much less, but if you
can get viagra for a few quid now I expect I'll be checking them out
fairly soon.
> Magic mushrooms are good as well, tripped-out sex is great fun and can be
> hilarious.
Man, I had a shocker once when I was rushed into getting the eggs on with
some bird. I was tripping that much I'd look at her one minute and she was
stunning, the next she wasn't. A gang of us had had some really strong
trips, not content with that though we were sharing the weed and, more
foolishly, the poppers round wholesale. I was truly fucking panelled.
Anyway this bird (who I had spoken to briefly while straight before, not
enough to remember her fully while I was in this state though) started
coming on to me big style, like moving towards me with great purpose while
I was in a strange house with strange people. Cos we were all in hysterics
falling about everywhere I thought it was part of the 'whatever it was'.
Next thing I know I'm having my keks whipped off in a bedroom away from
the others. Then she gets her kit off and she's wearing the most elaborate
yet attractive electric blue lingerie I've ever had the pleasure to
witness, sussies, corset the fucking lot. One minute, due to my condition,
I couldn't make her face out or even if she had one the next I didn't know
if all this blueness was a nurses outfit and I was in hospital, overdose.
Then she goes down on me, like I couldn't keep up with what the fuck was
going on and I mean she was an expert and every time I sensed her sucking
my manhood right up to deep throat levels it was like I was being sucked
inside out from head to toe in one great fucking seismic convulsion. My
head was tripping beyond belief, I was going "out of body", I couldn't
cope. I had to pull her up, so she could mount me so I could gather myself
but she leaned back and lifted her breasts out of her corset at the same
time while hooking her pussy up with my cock. She had an incredibly
beautiful, tanned, athletic figure. Inside my mind I was freaking out.
Believe me. I have no idea how long things went on, I was so out of my
mind. Eventually I lost my hard-on, please, I was so fucking wasted it
wouldn't have mattered if it was Carmen Elektra I just wasn't prepared for
it all.
Anyway, she goes down on me again apologising that she wasn't her usual
good self because she was a bit high. What??? I've never known anything
like the explosive effect she had on me that night. And get this, I had to
convince her against her will to get dressed so we we could go back in and
join the others? For real.
So, you all want to know what happened the next time I bumped into electric
blue lingerie girl, who it turns out knew me better than I thought, hmm?
> Call me a frigid old bastard, but there's just no way I'd be arsed to
> have it off for seven hours or something if I wasn't completely cunted.
That depends, I've been like that with one girl I can think of. But we were
deep in love and what have you.
--
OscarG
Paul C
wrote:
>
>Man, I had a shocker once when I was rushed into getting the eggs on with
>some bird. I was tripping that much I'd look at her one minute and she was
>stunning, the next she wasn't. A gang of us had had some really strong
>trips, not content with that though we were sharing the weed and, more
>foolishly, the poppers round wholesale. I was truly fucking panelled.
>Anyway this bird
All this, and top of Yahoo FF too. Life isn't fair.
--
Paul
OscarG
> On Thu, 22 Apr 2004 22:22:13 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>>Man, I had a shocker once when I was rushed into getting the eggs on with
>>some bird. I was tripping that much I'd look at her one minute and she was
>>stunning, the next she wasn't. A gang of us had had some really strong
>>trips, not content with that though we were sharing the weed and, more
>>foolishly, the poppers round wholesale. I was truly fucking panelled.
>>Anyway this bird
>
> All this, and top of Yahoo FF too. Life isn't fair.
An urban lifestyle is all swings and roundabouts though, Paul, I can tell
tales of despair, my own, that are not anywhere as nice. One thing I must
say is that all the best things that have happened to me in life have been
driven by my appetite for music above all else. Not by highs or money or
kudos or anything like that. I do not condone the abuse of drugs in any
way whatsoever. However, music, as a drug, is very good for you. It's all
about Super Soul Fusions.
--
OscarG
cypher
@hotmail.com says...
(snip Xavier Hollander)
> Anyway, she goes down on me again apologising that she wasn't her usual
> good self because she was a bit high. What??? I've never known anything
> like the explosive effect she had on me that night. And get this, I had to
> convince her against her will to get dressed so we we could go back in and
> join the others? For real.
>
> So, you all want to know what happened the next time I bumped into electric
> blue lingerie girl, who it turns out knew me better than I thought, hmm?
I sure as fuck do, Oscar. Don't leave me hanging.
I also dig chicks in blue underthings so I have particular interest in
this story.
--
(19) Cypher
Allen Parkes
> "Paul C" <pa...@thersgb.net> wrote:
>> However .......the most amazing fact about RSS this season is that
>> Johnshaven Dauntless have just made it to the last 8 of their
>> Champions' League equivalent (from an entry of 64). And this despite
>> being 26th in the rankings.
>>
>> But I don't hold out much hope for them in the 1/4 final against 7th
>> ranked Jiggly Jugs.
>
> Good luck with that. Let us know how you get on, it would be good to
> see a Youksefer take a trophy over there. Which brings me onto my
> next point, how about an inter-league Champion's League, starting the
> seaon after next (Yahoo arsedness pending, of course)?
>
> It would give those lower down in the table something left to play
> for as the season draws to a close. Just a thought.
Or how about inviting them for an inter-NewsGay Cup? If everyone gets to
participate from the start, I'm for it (and that's not just because I'm too
crap to stay in the CL...honest).
--
Al
"Have I told you lately what I cunt I think you are ?"
- James Cook
Robert Poleson
I do love and appreciate your tales of sex and drugs and music and so
on. But, it disturbs me that you seem to be obsessed with mostly soul
based sounds. Or am I simply mistaken?
OscarG
Yes, you're simply mistaken. I consider myself to be a full-on Floydian
too. I do listen to souly stuff more than anything else nowadays but I
would be more inclined to call the style I like hip-hop n soul or RnB.
hip-hop stuff without the gangsta rap. Cool and laid back. I'm not arsed
with aggressive music at all. Dressing all in black then going to a
greasers ball and puking up everywhere is not for me. I don't see the
appeal.
--
OscarG
Robert Poleson
Don't you know variety is the spice of life? I can't really think of
a single genre of music that doesn't have something I enjoy.
OscarG
> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 14:38:34 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>> On Fri, 23 Apr 2004 23:33:33 +0100, Robert Poleson wrote:
>>> I do love and appreciate your tales of sex and drugs and music and so
>>> on. But, it disturbs me that you seem to be obsessed with mostly soul
>>> based sounds. Or am I simply mistaken?
>>
>> Yes, you're simply mistaken. I consider myself to be a full-on Floydian
>> too. I do listen to souly stuff more than anything else nowadays but I
>> would be more inclined to call the style I like hip-hop n soul or RnB.
>> hip-hop stuff without the gangsta rap. Cool and laid back. I'm not arsed
>> with aggressive music at all. Dressing all in black then going to a
>> greasers ball and puking up everywhere is not for me. I don't see the
>> appeal.
>
> Don't you know variety is the spice of life? I can't really think of
> a single genre of music that doesn't have something I enjoy.
Ah, there's a difference though. I quite like the Franz Ferdinand track I
heard on TOTP the other night but that doesn't mean I'm about to go and get
all guitary. To be honest, I like a lot of pop music I hear on the radio, a
lot of it is simple and catchy and easy to get into, obviously, but then it
passes like pop music should. I also listen to lots of types of dance
music, from disco thru to dnb. When I go on about soul stuff it's because
it's at the top of my preferences, and as I've mentioned elsewhere I use
the term 'soul' very loosely. Punk and heavy metal etc is way, way off the
bottom of my list, I listen to music to chill to. I don't want to be
shouted at or be pumped full of someone else's anger.
--
OscarG
Robert Poleson
>
> Ah, there's a difference though. I quite like the Franz Ferdinand track I
> heard on TOTP the other night but that doesn't mean I'm about to go and get
> all guitary. To be honest, I like a lot of pop music I hear on the radio, a
> lot of it is simple and catchy and easy to get into, obviously, but then it
> passes like pop music should. I also listen to lots of types of dance
> music, from disco thru to dnb. When I go on about soul stuff it's because
> it's at the top of my preferences, and as I've mentioned elsewhere I use
> the term 'soul' very loosely. Punk and heavy metal etc is way, way off the
> bottom of my list, I listen to music to chill to. I don't want to be
> shouted at or be pumped full of someone else's anger.
>
>
Do you like Can?
OscarG
> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:36:56 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>> Ah, there's a difference though. I quite like the Franz Ferdinand track
>> I heard on TOTP the other night but that doesn't mean I'm about to go
>> and get all guitary. To be honest, I like a lot of pop music I hear on
>> the radio, a lot of it is simple and catchy and easy to get into,
>> obviously, but then it passes like pop music should. I also listen to
>> lots of types of dance music, from disco thru to dnb. When I go on
>> about soul stuff it's because it's at the top of my preferences, and as
>> I've mentioned elsewhere I use the term 'soul' very loosely. Punk and
>> heavy metal etc is way, way off the bottom of my list, I listen to
>> music to chill to. I don't want to be shouted at or be pumped full of
>> someone else's anger.
>
> Do you like Can?
Yeah, give us a cold one, ta. Or do you mean the 70s band? Can 't say I
remember hearing their stuff. So, are you recommending them? If so tell me
an album to check out and I'll get on the case. I'll be grateful.
--
OscarG
Dat
wrote:
>So, you all want to know what happened the next time I bumped into electric
>blue lingerie girl, who it turns out knew me better than I thought, hmm?
It was Ben, wasn't it?!!!11!!!!bummer!1!!!!
--
Dat
Osbourne Ruddock
You rock Oscar! Hot sex and soul music fusion. You should come and live in
NZ, just to make us a better place.
Cheers, Os
Osbourne Ruddock
If you take soul to be at the heart of most or all styles of black music
then it's a pretty big pool to pick from Mr P. I agree WHWP and his crawling
king snake is obviously quite attractive as well.
Cheers, Os
Osbourne Ruddock
I grew up on punk and heavy rock but slowly began to appreciate black music
starting with reggae and then on to all kinds. Getting fat and old syndrome
probably but my love affair with loud music took a dip in the '80s. On the
one hand punk had turned into Oi and heavy rock had turned into hair music.
I met my partner in the mid '80s and she was very into jazz, soul and r'n'b
and it was great discovering sonic weirdos like Coltrane and Ornette
Coleman.
The funny thing is that recently I've met a bloke in the village where I
live who appears to have been flash frozen in 1979. He loves UK punk and if
he's being adventorous mixes it with a little Ska. He's a great guy and
loves The Nipple Erectors and Leyton Buzzards as much as he loves the Sex
Pistols or Clash. Anyway, for the ffirst time in about 12 years I'm
listening to guitar music again and quite enjoying it. Couldn't be arsed
with that Franz Ferdinand though. And don't get me started on The
Darkness...
Cheers, Os
Robert Poleson
Tago Mago. It's weird and wonderful.
OscarG
> On Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:58:50 +0100, OscarG wrote:
>> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:59:19 +0100, Robert Poleson wrote:
>>>
>>> Do you like Can?
>>
>> Yeah, give us a cold one, ta. Or do you mean the 70s band? Can 't say I
>> remember hearing their stuff. So, are you recommending them? If so tell me
>> an album to check out and I'll get on the case. I'll be grateful.
>
> Tago Mago. It's weird and wonderful.
I'll check that out as soon as I get the chance, which shouldn't be too
long given the level of my binary addiction.
--
OscarG
OscarG
>> An urban lifestyle is all swings and roundabouts though, Paul, I can tell
>> tales of despair, my own, that are not anywhere as nice. One thing I must
>> say is that all the best things that have happened to me in life have been
>> driven by my appetite for music above all else. Not by highs or money or
>> kudos or anything like that. I do not condone the abuse of drugs in any
>> way whatsoever. However, music, as a drug, is very good for you. It's all
>> about Super Soul Fusions.
>
> You rock Oscar! Hot sex and soul music fusion. You should come and live in
> NZ, just to make us a better place.
If you can get me a government sponsorship deal I'll be over there like a
shot. Ambient Effects Coordinator for NZ, that'll be me.
--
OscarG
OscarG
> In article <c69d23$92lpn$1...@ID-131154.news.uni-berlin.de>, OscarG1977
> @hotmail.com says...
>> electric blue lingerie girl, who it turns out knew me better than I
>> thought, hmm?
>
> I sure as fuck do, Oscar. Don't leave me hanging.
>
> I also dig chicks in blue underthings so I have particular interest in
> this story.
Well, the party fizzled out, as they do, I remember little of how it
ended. Acid can be like that. And everyone gets off home to face reality.
After some serious recuperation like not surfacing on the Sunday, I manage
to make it to work the following Monday. I catch up with my mates who had
led me astray over the weekend - and they get on to the bit about me
getting sexually assaulted by a rampant young lady who had honed in on me
like an Exocet - turns out her name is Juliet. Yes, that's right, I didn't
actually catch her name on the Saturday, and she's really after me. It was
well known to everyone else, it appears. Anyway, I leave it at that. Later
on in the week, the lad who hooked me up on the Saturday says he's going
round to Juliet's later on along with some other people and I should join
them. "She has a massive house with a swimming pool", he says. Not as if
I'd be arsed, my life revolved solely around music, clubs and drugs. Girls
and sex were a side effect of partying but I have to see this girl again
just to put my mind at ease. I needed to know if a) she really is
attractive and b) is she the type I might want to get to know better.
We pull up outside her house, it's true, it's fucking enormous. A giant
double-fronted Victorian thing with verandas, lanterns, big stone lions
and the like. We get out the car and walk up the drive, I start to get
nervous, I don't know why. Then this big fuck-off Alsatian arrives on the
scene barking like a right twat - if I'd had a gun I would have shot it.
I've never liked dogs, ever. This one looks like a pedigree job but I
couldn't give a shit, you could have heard it bark a mile away, and it was
all over me covering me in tongue juice and dog pubes. I have to push
it away in a gay gentle fashion so it doesn't kick off anymore than it
already has. Then Juliet shows up in the upstairs window and waves. The
others grab the dog and start fooling around with it and look at me like
I'm some big horrid anti-animal guy.
We make our way around the side of the house where there's an entrance
that leads upstairs. We go in, I let my mates go first, Juliet's at the
top of the stairs to welcome us. Everyone goes up and we head down this
long hallway with a polished wooden floor, antiques all over the place and
a chaise longue, "cool", I'm thinking. But what caught my attention most
was the door to the bathroom which was open and inside I could see one of
those big standalone baths with the fancy taps, and over it is a maiden
with the - now impregnated in my mind for life - elaborate electric blue
lingerie. "Oooo", I remember those, but better still the electric blue
lingerie has friends in the shape of some burgundy gear with gold
trimming. Juliet taps me on the shoulder to my surprise, I tell her
instantly that I'd like to see her in that, and point at it. She asks me
how I am, I go all polite and bashful and follow her into the living room.
Man, I was trembling. And she was attractive, her face was a basic
friendly affair with nothing out of proportion or ugly or anything but her
body really was a sight to behold, she was in perfect shape. I had
butterflies in my stomach and in my cock. I couldn't get the thought of
her in that lingerie out of my mind's eye. Her hair has changed colour
too, before it was like a mousy blonde now it's auburn and blonde, it
suits her. It's very long too. Most ladylike.
In the living room there are about a dozen people all getting wasted.
Juliet has all mod cons, pot plants on the windowsill, bongs, a nice
hi-fi, a giant Chesterfield suite - which everyone there could have shared
at the same time - a veranda and booze. It's all classic decor meets hippy
chick, very nice, and of course, she has a very fit body that wants to get
next to me. Life doesn't get much better.
I feel like I'm on show and the people there are aware of the occasion,
it's a surefire set up. I get comfy on the settee while Juliet plays host,
I'm offered a trip, I decline, I have to go to work the next day. I'm
offered coke on a small mirror, which I also decline in case I get a
taste for it big style and end up forking out a few hundred quid. Instead
I have Baileys with ice and a joint rolled by none other than our host,
she lights it up while I watch her smoke it like there's no-one else in
the room, she's standing in front of the fireplace and each time our eyes
meet we both break out in big smiles. I'm such a tit, I'm never going to
get through this, with these people here, without making a complete arse
of myself. She passes the joint, it's a goodun'. The night progresses, I
have more joints and more Baileys and I do my best to avoid conversation
with the others, I'd rather it was just me and her and who wouldn't?
So, I get wrecked against my will, I wanted to stay relatively sober so I
could make a good impression but that went right out of the window. Its
past midnight and the others are having buckets. If you don't know what
they are, it's for the best that it stays that way. Juliet has one and
immediately brings it over to me. I need this like a hole in the head.
It's not going to be just any old bucket either, noo, it's going to be
made with 'black', Morocco’s finest putty like substance. In a joint, this
gets you nicely stoned. In a bucket it can terminate your evening. I fill
my lungs fully maybe three or four times from the bucket. The hit is a bit
like Sonic the Hedgehog on the Megadrive when he gets the shield, you
know, that noise that's a sort of blend of boi-oi-oing with bow-ow-ow. I
jet off in my bubble leaving earth in my wake.
It probably wasn't such a bad thing to do because when I woke up, sprawled
out on the couch, the others had gone. Three cheers, hip hip...
The room is lit only by the flames from the fireplace and a few candles, I
hear mellow piano music coming from another room. I sit up and there's
no-one, just me, completely spaced out in a strange house with a perfect
ambience. I know she's here somewhere it's quite exciting. I get up and go
out down the hall, I look up, the ceilings seem like they're miles away,
she comes out of a room and softly asks if I'm alright, I mumble
something, she says she'll be in in a minute, she's wearing a dressing
gown and looks like she's doing something to her hair. I go back, I may
have been in a strange house but I felt like I'd been here all my life.
While I sat there soaking up the tension of what was surely to follow, I
couldn't stop thinking about how surreal the whole thing was. It was all
being planned by this very attractive girl with pinpoint precision. She
had an incredible power over me, she knew exactly what she was doing, I've
no doubt about it. When eventually she came in, she sat at the other end
of the settee and went about painting her toenails, we had a bit of a
giggle about the previous weekend. She said that we'd met before that in
another party and had had a lengthy conversation, basically, she knew my
life story, yet, I hardly knew a thing about her.
We chatted for a while. Her parents were antique dealers, but her ma had
died a few years before, now it was just her dad who lived downstairs,
Juliet had the whole first floor to herself and then there was another
floor above that they didn't use. She also had a mad sister who was older
and spent most of her life in rehab. Juliet was 23 and worked part-time
for her dad selling antiques. I liked the sound of it, especially the mad
sister bit.
Anyway, it wasn't long before she uttered those magical words, "are you
going to stay?" I kept my cool and said politely that I'd like to if it
was okay. We had a few more drinks and what have you, then she asks me to
kiss her. No arsing around, no big daft "should I or what", crap, she was
straight to the point with everything. I was in there like a shot, and a
very passionate power-kiss it was. By the time we were done, and it was
incredibly difficult to stop and come up for air, she was inviting me out
of the room down the hall and into the bedroom and boy was I impressed.
The bed was gigantic, not a four poster but a solid thing big enough for
an orgy. There were candles dotted about the room and a patio that led
to a veranda looking out the back of the house, it was wide open in a way
that you felt you were part of the night sky. Really, it was everything you
could imagine in a dream that goes right. I wish I could have filmed it.
I go over to her at the end of the bed and remove her gown and it's the
burgundy number, no suspenders this time, just a bodice and skimps with
gold bows here, there and everywhere. Heavenly. We head for the bed, I
strip en-route. I couldn't begin to put into words what followed, all I
can say is that it was up there with the most intimate sex I've ever had
and it went on and on and on. No area was left unexplored. She was a true
lady of the night, an expert in every sense. I learned more about the art
of love making that night than I'd learned in all my years before and
since. She was in her element and knew how to please. What a girl.
To be continued...
--
OscarG
cypher
@hotmail.com says...
(massive snip)
> I go over to her at the end of the bed and remove her gown and it's the
> burgundy number, no suspenders this time, just a bodice and skimps with
> gold bows here, there and everywhere. Heavenly. We head for the bed, I
> strip en-route. I couldn't begin to put into words what followed, all I
> can say is that it was up there with the most intimate sex I've ever had
> and it went on and on and on. No area was left unexplored. She was a true
> lady of the night, an expert in every sense. I learned more about the art
> of love making that night than I'd learned in all my years before and
> since. She was in her element and knew how to please. What a girl.
>
> To be continued...
Y'know mate, if everything in your life suddenly went pear shaped you
could knock out a romance novel. Oscar Cartland, but in a very good way.
I have questions, like, "why on earth are you not still with her?" but
I'm prepared to wait for the next instalment.
There was one point in the tale where I was positive she would reveal a
penis but then I remembered you'd already found out she was the real
deal. Good stuff.
--
(19) Cypher
OscarG
> I grew up on punk and heavy rock but slowly began to appreciate black
> music starting with reggae and then on to all kinds. Getting fat and old
> syndrome probably but my love affair with loud music took a dip in the
> '80s. On the one hand punk had turned into Oi and heavy rock had turned
> into hair music. I met my partner in the mid '80s and she was very into
> jazz, soul and r'n'b and it was great discovering sonic weirdos like
> Coltrane and Ornette Coleman.
Lucky guy - getting saved that way.
> The funny thing is that recently I've met a bloke in the village where I
> live who appears to have been flash frozen in 1979. He loves UK punk and
> if he's being adventorous mixes it with a little Ska. He's a great guy
> and loves The Nipple Erectors and Leyton Buzzards as much as he loves
> the Sex Pistols or Clash. Anyway, for the ffirst time in about 12 years
> I'm listening to guitar music again and quite enjoying it. Couldn't be
> arsed with that Franz Ferdinand though. And don't get me started on The
> Darkness...
Loads of my mates are still into The Clash, The Sex Pistols and all that.
It's not my cup of tea at all, however, Ska in the shape of The Specials
and Selecter certainly was at the time. It was the first style of music I
went out and bought. Two Tone stuff on 7", that is. I had all the clobber
as well. heh. I was about ten. I've been into urban music, in one form or
another, since. Well, apart from a spell strung out with hippies in the
mid-80s.
--
OscarG
Joe Horowitz
> On Mon, 26 Apr 2004 12:08:36 +1200, Osbourne Ruddock wrote:
> Loads of my mates are still into The Clash, The Sex Pistols and all that.
> It's not my cup of tea at all,
<snip>
Just wanted to say that I absolutely fucking love the single, "London Calling". Just
love it. Sex Pistols I can well and truly live without, they were of their time and
that's all well and good, but in retrospect I don't think the music itself bears
close scrutiny. It's more of an attitude than a coherent sound, bit like gabba.
But The Clash, The Jam and a few others recorded some very, very fine tunes, IMHO.
My two favourites from that era would have to be the aforementioned London Calling,
and The Jam's "That's Entertainment". Lovely record.
Agree with the rest of your web, if that's any help, and yes I'd go for the ska and
two-tone stuff myself in general. But those are two well-known, much-played records
that to this day I can still listen to over and over.
That is all.
Joe
--
"Horowitz is an alzheimaic megalomaniac."
Osbourne Ruddock
> On Mon, 26 Apr 2004 12:08:36 +1200, Osbourne Ruddock wrote:
> > I grew up on punk and heavy rock but slowly began to appreciate black
> > music starting with reggae and then on to all kinds. Getting fat and old
> > syndrome probably but my love affair with loud music took a dip in the
> > '80s. On the one hand punk had turned into Oi and heavy rock had turned
> > into hair music. I met my partner in the mid '80s and she was very into
> > jazz, soul and r'n'b and it was great discovering sonic weirdos like
> > Coltrane and Ornette Coleman.
>
> Lucky guy - getting saved that way.
I was well and truly saved by then. Had loads of reggae and hip hop but
hadn't had too much exposure to the early stuff. I showed her mine, and she
showed me hers.
On a related matter, I read somewhere that the generaation gap was actually
a semi commercial contrivance to get white middle class youth purchasing a
whole new spectrum of products related around culture (clothes, music
etc...). This article said that while the same thing occurs in black
American culture the music thing is different with young people getting off
on the likes of Miles Davis, Marvin Gaye etc... and older people enjoying
Snoop, Dre et al. The idea of old peoples music doesn't exist as it does in
white culture. Good music is seen in a more organic sense as a single line
of inspiration changing but remaining true to it's roots (going right back
to slavery days).
Not sure whether it's bollocks or not. My parents liked the Beatles and
Stones and I can listen to them, but all their other tastes were shite.
Cheers, Os
cypher
says...
(snip)
> Not sure whether it's bollocks or not. My parents liked the Beatles and
> Stones and I can listen to them, but all their other tastes were shite.
I used to drive my mother barmy listening to a variety of bands from the
British wave of Heavy Metal, the Sabbaths, the Iron Maidens, the
Motorheads. I always get a giggle listening to folk describe people or
things in the plural.
Ma would always ask `how can you listen to that shit?' and she still does
it 20 years later whenever she visits. She had hopes for me when I went
through a stage listening to Opera, sparked by Bocelli's Romanza.
Apparently purists don't rate him for some reason, probably because he
popularised the genre but I would get drunk in the afternoon sun and
listen to the beauty of his voice and think about the hold a voice like
his would have on women. I've read that a man can look like a bag of shit
but if he can trill the dulcet tones chicks will fling handfuls of Van
Persie at him.
--
(19) Cypher
Robert Poleson
Let me know what you think of it. I like the drummer.