Wanted: jbex
Sena
interests are reading books and playing certain types of computer
game. He's currently qbvat Physics, Biol, Stinks, Maffs, Eng, IT,
Geog & Hist, and confidently expects to get borderline passes
(possibly) in allovem except Phys, Biol, Stinks & Geog which he's
prolly going to fail but don't tell him I said so. He's definitely
*not* an orifice jbexer, neither is he particularly practical. He
is good natured most of the time and I love him to bits, but it has
to be said he's not very good at following orders as he disunforgets
what he's bin told to qb. And he doesn't communicate very easily
because he stammers/stutters (which one's which, and do it matter?)
and his handwriting is penc.
He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
Please?
--
~ Fran ~
Three men walked into a bar; one turned to the other two and said,
"No, I didn't see it either".
(quoted by the Trollkiller)
brian...@lycos.co.uk
Sena <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
> Jbex eyed ears wanted please, for item: male, one, aged 15, whose
> interests are reading books and playing certain types of computer
> game. He's currently qbvat Physics, Biol, Stinks, Maffs, Eng, IT,
> Geog & Hist, and confidently expects to get borderline passes
> (possibly) in allovem except Phys, Biol, Stinks & Geog which he's
> prolly going to fail but don't tell him I said so. He's definitely
> *not* an orifice jbexer, neither is he particularly practical. He
> is good natured most of the time and I love him to bits, but it has
> to be said he's not very good at following orders as he disunforgets
> what he's bin told to qb. And he doesn't communicate very easily
> because he stammers/stutters (which one's which, and do it matter?)
> and his handwriting is penc.
>
> He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
> else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
> Please?
>
My second youngest (who sounds simla) chose (against our better wishes) to
stay on for 6th form. We are now wondering what comes next, prolly a modern
apprenticeship (AKA slave labour) which he cud have dun at 16. Another 260
fortnights on I might have an opinion on the matter.
--
Brain D[13435]
[13435]Add one to email address to reply.
Robert E A Harvey
> He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
> else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
> Please?
I came to the conclusion some years ago that a university education
fitted you up either for unemployability or refined poverty. Unless
he has a burning ambition to academic excellent, I'd have a quiet look
around the area.
In my town the biggest houses and most up to date carz are owned by
carpet layers, electricians, kitchen fitters, and the like. It's a
healthier life than orifice work, one more tolerant of personal
foibles and mild speech impediments, and may lead to being self
employed. The greater affluence may reflect 5 years more of earned
income, and the absence of an initial debt.
I know a contract gardener who earns more than most teachers. And
winges a good deal less.
I've had huge job satisfaction from butchery, baking (and glod knows,
there is a shortage of good bakers), and driving a mobile shop, when
such things were even mildly profitable. I had a shop selling theatre
fittings, and another selling power tools. Great fun, although the
ecognomics were disrupted by (1) local government interferrence over a
listed building (2) B-and-bloody-Q taking all the customers.
Thing to do is look at the opportunities about. He's young. He could
take a year orf and try a few non-acadmeic jobs such as
painting-and-decorating, or jbexing in a local theatre, or whatever.
Then if he wants something what requires more brian power, go to the
local tech. to take A levels - it's a better atmosphere than most
schools, and he will be treated as a human being. Or go straight to
Uni with a year's preparation/induction instead of 2 years doing 'A'
levels, some of them will do that.
Sounds like what he needs is a bit of life experience to make his own
mind up. But what do I know? I'm 53 and I still don't know what I
want to do when I grow up.
Oh, and a fiend of mine gave up seismic exploration to become a train
driver. He is paid nearly half as much again, and is a lot happier.
If they only but had engine sheds near where I dwell I'd do it
tomorrow.
Tell him NOT to go for van driving, bus driving, shop work, factory
work, unless he has no alternative. There is huge competition for
such jobs from people who can do nowt else, and the wages are thus
downthrusted. Do something that people either don't understand
(computer maintainence, plastic window fitting, plastering [that's
another trade with desperate shortages]) or don't want to do (drain
rodding, antenna rigging, tree felling, tarmacing) because of
squeamishness. There is no job satsifaction in retailing - except
self-employed and market stalls - and probably little in call centres
or the like. They are just jobs.
There are slightly oddball jobs that are good fun: motorway builders
live in caravans for weeks on end without changing thier socks, and
come home smelling of tar. Shopfitters work all night and live in
cheap hotels at other people's expense. CCTV riggers and the like
face a different challenge every day. The Diamond trade employ
couriers to fly to and fro across the planet with tiny bags of sparkly
tbings in thier pocket.
OK, he could get a degree and work for the ordinance survey, the met
office, stuff like that. But only if he wants to.
Two other serious ideas: joining the police, or becoming an officer
cadet in the merchant navy.
In the end, though, he will be vastly influenced by what his friends
do, and say. Perhaps much more than by his mum.
Bob H
Austin Shackles
enlightened us thusly:
>his handwriting is penc
doctor?
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk my opinions are just that
Soon shall thy arm, unconquered steam! afar Drag the slow barge, or
drive the rapid car; Or on wide-waving wings expanded bear the
flying chariot through the field of air.- Erasmus Darwin (1731-1802)
Austin Shackles
enlightened us thusly:
>He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
>else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
>Please?
stay at fpubby, if you can stand it. it puts off the evil day for 2 years.
plus, with suitably careful choice of subjects, he should end up with A
level passes which gain him access to university if in 2 years time that
seems to be an option.
plus 2, since he's not apt to be likely shelf-stacking material, the
employment options are gonna be limited anyway, I'd've thunk.
plus 4 ... had to be done. Actually, I've nothing more to add ATM.
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk my opinions are just that
"Something there is that doesn't love a wall."
Robert Frost (1874-1963)
Austin Shackles
Harvey) enlightened us thusly:
>Sounds like what he needs is a bit of life experience to make his own
>mind up. But what do I know? I'm 53 and I still don't know what I
>want to do when I grow up.
<AOL> (except for the 53 bit. 37 and counting)
Linz
Harvey) wrote:
>Sena <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message news:<MPG.1a6557214...@news.individual.net>...
>> He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
>> else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
>> Please?
>
>I came to the conclusion some years ago that a university education
>fitted you up either for unemployability or refined poverty. Unless
>he has a burning ambition to academic excellent, I'd have a quiet look
>around the area.
I goove it depends on what you study, and what you choose to do with
what you study. Law doesn't necessarily lead to unemployability or
refined poverty, neither do medicine or pharmacy, for example. That
isn't to say you don't have to go to university to get into a decent
career.
--
There are always opportunities for fairly dim physicists.
Linz
<aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>On or around 6 Jan 2004 23:21:37 -0800, robert...@my-deja.com (Robert E A
>Harvey) enlightened us thusly:
>
>>Sounds like what he needs is a bit of life experience to make his own
>>mind up. But what do I know? I'm 53 and I still don't know what I
>>want to do when I grow up.
>
><AOL> (except for the 53 bit. 37 and counting)
I don't intend growing up!
Lizz Holmans
<sp...@nospam.lindsayendell.org.uk> wrote:
>I goove it depends on what you study, and what you choose to do with
>what you study. Law doesn't necessarily lead to unemployability or
>refined poverty, neither do medicine or pharmacy, for example. That
>isn't to say you don't have to go to university to get into a decent
>career.
RSG has a Tutu (Hons) in philosophy and has managed to make quite a
nice career for himself at BT (starting when it was still with the
Post Office) with computering, and we manage to live in comfortable,
unrefined squalor.
LizzH.
--
i feel as visible as a hyphen but not half as self assured--archy
AndyP
> There are slightly oddball jobs that are good fun: motorway builders
> live in caravans for weeks on end without changing thier socks, and
> come home smelling of tar. Shopfitters work all night and live in
> cheap hotels at other people's expense. CCTV riggers and the like
> face a different challenge every day. The Diamond trade employ
> couriers to fly to and fro across the planet with tiny bags of sparkly
> tbings in thier pocket.
School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make bangs
and flashes with (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
Jaques d'Alltrades
from Austin Shackles <aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> contains these words:
> >his handwriting is penc
> doctor?
lBooyd Rays!
--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/
Jaques d'Alltrades
from Sena <m...@privacy.net> contains these words:
> He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
> else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
> Please?
What do he *WANT* to do?
Hobbis?
Intrests? (Apart from potergames) He'll need experience of Life before
offering his skills at reading to a publisher....
Hmmmm. Dreadful writing? Medicine?
Jaques d'Alltrades
from "AndyP" <An...@ajp100.freeserve.no-spam.co.uk> contains these words:
> School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make bangs
> and flashes with (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
I goove you'll find that teknishuns don't get the same hols as the
teeching staff.
AndyP
> > School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make
bangs
> > and flashes with (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
> I goove you'll find that teknishuns don't get the same hols as the
> teeching staff.
Some don't but I do...only another 5 weeks till the next week off!
Gid Holyoake
generously decided to share with us..
Snippetry..
> I goove you'll find that teknishuns don't get the same hols as the
> teeching staff.
Ain't that the truth.. when I were jbexvat as an AV tech (chief tech,
head tech, site tech, Ed Tech.) for the LEA in Bedfrod I found it
impossible to get a nollyday at all.. out of term was the only time we
could carry out roo teen maintenants (WOCAB) and in term we had to be on
hand to svk the things what got borked by the students and the
lecherers.. I recall asking the head of fpubby when I was *supposed* to
have any time off at all..
Gid
Kate Dicey
>
> The message <bthu26$402$1...@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk>
> from "AndyP" <An...@ajp100.freeserve.no-spam.co.uk> contains these words:
>
> > School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make bangs
> > and flashes with (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
>
> I goove you'll find that teknishuns don't get the same hols as the
> teeching staff.
And the tee ching staff don't get the same hols as the kids, either!
Leastways, I uster werk thru most ov wot were officially 'holidays' onna
calendar!
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
brian...@lycos.co.uk
"AndyP" <An...@ajp100.freeserve.no-spam.co.uk> wrote:
>
> School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make
> bangs and flashes with
I thort of that once, having jbexed as a tehnician at a farmacy fpubby.
Trubble is you wud be surrounded by fpubbykids who wud regard you wiv less
esteem than the teechers, who many hate.
> (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
>
Dorter has just (before crimble) strated as SST[33] (good MA qrterr in
stinks). Jbexed all through crimble apart from the fgnghgbel hollydaze.
[33] Temp till she can qb PGCE (contrary to parental guidance).
Sena
[snip much unshedlike hfrshynesses]
> In the end, though, he will be vastly influenced by what his friends
> do, and say. Perhaps much more than by his mum.
Abeznily you'd be right. Only thing here is that Robert doesn't
have any friends. He's very self-contained and in all his life he's
only ever had one lad round to the house. That was when he was
about 10. It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
other people's company.
Lizz Holmans
beznily you'd be right. Only thing here is that Robert doesn't
>have any friends. He's very self-contained and in all his life he's
>only ever had one lad round to the house. That was when he was
>about 10. It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
>other people's company.
I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite the bullet and admit
it--he's a born programmer.
Austin Shackles
enlightened us thusly:
>robert...@my-deja.com said...
>
>[snip much unshedlike hfrshynesses]
>
>> In the end, though, he will be vastly influenced by what his friends
>> do, and say. Perhaps much more than by his mum.
>
>Abeznily you'd be right. Only thing here is that Robert doesn't
>have any friends. He's very self-contained and in all his life he's
>only ever had one lad round to the house. That was when he was
>about 10. It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
>other people's company.
in the old days he could've been a lighthouse keeper, but they'm all been
automagicalled, now.
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk my opinions are just that
"The breezy call of incense-breathing Morn, The swallow twittering
from the strawbuilt shed, The cock's shrill clarion, or the echoing
horn, No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed."
Thomas Gray, Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard.
AndyP
> > School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make
> > bangs and flashes with
> I thort of that once, having jbexed as a tehnician at a farmacy fpubby.
> Trubble is you wud be surrounded by fpubbykids who wud regard you wiv less
> esteem than the teechers, who many hate.
I had visions of flick knives being thrown at the whiteboard when I started
but most of the kids at our fpubby are great...some of 'em even gave me
Chrimbo cards.
Fenny
Sena say...
> He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
> else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
> Please?
>
wot does land based courses? (used to be known as agricultural collijs).
--
Fenny
Fictitious Facts of the Day - from a list by Andrew Burford
#83: Is it coincidence that an anagram of Vimto is 'vomit'?
Sena
> The message <MPG.1a6557214...@news.individual.net>
> from Sena <m...@privacy.net> contains these words:
>
> > He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
> > else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
> > Please?
>
> What do he *WANT* to do?
Thass the point. He has no eyed ear. He prolly *wants* to sit
around all day watching GI.
> Hobbis?
Likes history; reading; pooter games like Civilisation.
> Intrests? (Apart from potergames) He'll need experience of Life before
> offering his skills at reading to a publisher....
See above.
Sena
> >It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
> >other people's company.
>
> I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite the bullet and admit
> it--he's a born programmer.
A born programmer who's not interested in the technical side of
computing? There's a thing!
Mel Rimmer
writes
>On 7 Jan,
> "AndyP" <An...@ajp100.freeserve.no-spam.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>
>> School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make
>> bangs and flashes with
>
>I thort of that once, having jbexed as a tehnician at a farmacy fpubby.
>Trubble is you wud be surrounded by fpubbykids who wud regard you wiv less
>esteem than the teechers, who many hate.
The techs at my school were held in high esteem. Partly due to the still
in the supplies cupboard.
--
Mel Rimmer
Guy King
from allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk (Fenny) contains
these words:
> He could do worse than a ND in Arboriculture.
Nollidge Disclaimer?
Numbskullness Demonstrator?
--
Skipweasel:- Double negatives are a complete no no.
Lister
wrote:
>The message <MPG.1a67bc7a4...@News.Individual.NET>
>from allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk (Fenny) contains
>these words:
>
>> He could do worse than a ND in Arboriculture.
>
>Nollidge Disclaimer?
>Numbskullness Demonstrator?
Nashonal Diplomer, innit?
--
email address *is* valid, but probably
won't get a reply. Use the reply to header
Lizz Holmans
>di...@jackalope.demon.co.uk said...
>> >It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
>> >other people's company.
>>
>> I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite the bullet and admit
>> it--he's a born programmer.
>
>A born programmer who's not interested in the technical side of
>computing? There's a thing!
There's RSG. He doesn't do hardware, but he's a fine programmer of
main frames. When it comes to our PC he's not too interested in its
guts, either.
He wasn't a computer technician, ever. Nor any other kind. We like LM.
David Reid
<v6frvvs3eotulukg8...@4ax.com>, Lizz Holmans
<di...@jackalope.demon.co.uk> spake thusly:
>
>There's RSG. He doesn't do hardware, but he's a fine programmer of
>main frames. When it comes to our PC he's not too interested in its
>guts, either.
>
>He wasn't a computer technician, ever. Nor any other kind. We like LM.
>
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
A programmer wiv a screwdriver.
--
D
Sena
> in the old days he could've been a lighthouse keeper, but they'm all been
> automagicalled, now.
>
Thanks muchly one and all; we now retire to the gooving room to
goove.
Sena
> >> I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite the bullet and admit
> >> it--he's a born programmer.
> >
> >A born programmer who's not interested in the technical side of
> >computing? There's a thing!
>
> There's RSG. He doesn't do hardware, but he's a fine programmer of
> main frames. When it comes to our PC he's not too interested in its
> guts, either.
Unforgets me of tales of molishers of houses who can't be doing with
molishing things in their own houses.
> He wasn't a computer technician, ever. Nor any other kind. We like LM.
LM? Wossat?
ColonelTupperware
troop of monkeys to hit keyboards to produce:
>Jbex eyed ears wanted please, for item: male, one, aged 15, whose
>interests are reading books and playing certain types of computer
>game. He's currently qbvat Physics, Biol, Stinks, Maffs, Eng, IT,
>Geog & Hist, and confidently expects to get borderline passes
>(possibly) in allovem except Phys, Biol, Stinks & Geog which he's
>prolly going to fail but don't tell him I said so. He's definitely
>*not* an orifice jbexer, neither is he particularly practical. He
>is good natured most of the time and I love him to bits, but it has
>to be said he's not very good at following orders as he disunforgets
>what he's bin told to qb. And he doesn't communicate very easily
>because he stammers/stutters (which one's which, and do it matter?)
>and his handwriting is penc.
>
>He has to choose to stay on at fpubby to qb A levels or to qb summit
>else. O, shed, ye found of all nollidge, have you any eyed ears?
>Please?
Sounds like an ideal candidate for the Infantry or Royal Marines.
They all start off not doing what they are told but they yrnea dhvpx
enuf.
Does he like blowing things up?
If he's pyrire enbuf the Wedgies (RE) might take him.
Blowing things up is fun.
--
Colonel Tupperware
http://tinyurl.com/pjsa
Fenny
> On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 19:58:37 GMT, Guy King <guy....@zetnet.co.uk>
> wrote:
>
> >The message <MPG.1a67bc7a4...@News.Individual.NET>
> >from allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk (Fenny) contains
> >these words:
> >
> >> He could do worse than a ND in Arboriculture.
> >
> >Nollidge Disclaimer?
> >Numbskullness Demonstrator?
>
>
> Nashonal Diplomer, innit?
>
whether the Arbs do jbex experience like wot us Hortics do. I can ask
next week.
--
Fenny
Fictitious Facts of the Day - from a list by Andrew Burford
Fenny
> aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk said...
> > in the old days he could've been a lighthouse keeper, but they'm all been
> > automagicalled, now.
> >
> General reply to all respondents:
> Thanks muchly one and all; we now retire to the gooving room to
> goove.
>
elsewhere?
--
Fenny
Fictitious Facts of the Day - from a list by Andrew Burford
Lisa', but she threatened to sue Leonardo da Vinci so he toned it down a
little.
Lizz Holmans
>LM? Wossat?
Little Man, for the Getting In of.
Sena
> Sounds like an ideal candidate for the Infantry or Royal Marines.
>
going, No.1 son is a pacifist who loathes the idea of going into the
armed forces because of the war-like connotations.
Sena
> > Thanks muchly one and all; we now retire to the gooving room to
> > goove.
> >
> Gosh, you has a speshul room for gooving in? Are you allowed to goov
> elsewhere?
>
at night immediately prior to going zuzzzz. This ensures that not
too much time is taken up with gooving, which as any fule knoe will
rot the brian.
Sena
> On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 21:44:15 -0000, Sena <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
>
> >LM? Wossat?
>
> Little Man, for the Getting In of.
Aha!
Richard Robinson
> On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 19:15:35 -0000, Sena <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>>di...@jackalope.demon.co.uk said...
>>> >It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
>>> >other people's company.
>>>
>>> I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite the bullet and admit
>>> it--he's a born programmer.
>>
>>A born programmer who's not interested in the technical side of
>>computing? There's a thing!
>
> There's RSG. He doesn't do hardware, but he's a fine programmer of
> main frames. When it comes to our PC he's not too interested in its
> guts, either.
Well, that's all right and proper, innit ? Different things, programs
and chamineguts.
After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub ?
--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem
If you want my address, put beulah where the spam trap is.
Jaques d'Alltrades
from Austin Shackles <aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> contains these words:
> On or around Thu, 8 Jan 2004 01:21:00 -0000, Sena <m...@privacy.net>
> enlightened us thusly:
> >robert...@my-deja.com said...
> >
> >[snip much unshedlike hfrshynesses]
> >
> >> In the end, though, he will be vastly influenced by what his friends
> >> do, and say. Perhaps much more than by his mum.
> >
> >Abeznily you'd be right. Only thing here is that Robert doesn't
> >have any friends. He's very self-contained and in all his life he's
> >only ever had one lad round to the house. That was when he was
> >about 10. It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
> >other people's company.
> in the old days he could've been a lighthouse keeper, but they'm all been
> automagicalled, now.
Ar. I useter know the lighthousekeeper at Spurne Point, but the
outomated him and Marvin were the reslut.
We useter speak quite offen on on the 934 MHz band.
--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/
Jaques d'Alltrades
> > Sounds like an ideal candidate for the Infantry or Royal Marines.
> >
> Despite the evidence to the contrary when he and his sister get
> going, No.1 son is a pacifist who loathes the idea of going into the
> armed forces because of the war-like connotations.
Greenpeas then?
Richard Robinson
> The message <tmcqvv8pgiulgq7d4...@4ax.com>
> from Austin Shackles <aus...@ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk> contains these words:
>> On or around Thu, 8 Jan 2004 01:21:00 -0000, Sena <m...@privacy.net>
>> enlightened us thusly:
>> >robert...@my-deja.com said...
>> >
>> >[snip much unshedlike hfrshynesses]
>> >
>> >> In the end, though, he will be vastly influenced by what his friends
>> >> do, and say. Perhaps much more than by his mum.
>> >
>> >Abeznily you'd be right. Only thing here is that Robert doesn't
>> >have any friends. He's very self-contained and in all his life he's
>> >only ever had one lad round to the house. That was when he was
>> >about 10. It's not a sob-story; he just plain isn't interested in
>> >other people's company.
>
>> in the old days he could've been a lighthouse keeper, but they'm all been
>> automagicalled, now.
>
> Ar. I useter know the lighthousekeeper at Spurne Point, but the
> outomated him and Marvin were the reslut.
Diodes all down the LHS of a lighthouse ? Worrying, they're tall.
Richard Robinson
>> big....@tesco.net said...
>
>> > Sounds like an ideal candidate for the Infantry or Royal Marines.
>> >
>> Despite the evidence to the contrary when he and his sister get
>> going, No.1 son is a pacifist who loathes the idea of going into the
>> armed forces because of the war-like connotations.
>
> Greenpeas then?
Heh. Which reminds me. Me Aged Parents came and took me out for a meal a few
weeks ago, and in thecourse of conversation I recommended Neal Stevenson's
"Zodiac" to me Dad, and I'm not sure I ought to have done. 'sa fun book,
and I enjoyed it (in particular, I remarked that I'd never seen the
chemistery of PCBs made to look like easy fun before) But. He used to
eha a chemicals snpgbel, and he does rather tend to argue the other
side of such things. Ho hum ...
Jaques d'Alltrades
from Richard Robinson <m...@privacy.net> contains these words:
> > Ar. I useter know the lighthousekeeper at Spurne Point, but the
> > outomated him and Marvin were the reslut.
> Diodes all down the LHS of a lighthouse ? Worrying, they're tall.
Auto-mated him?
I'll get me sou-wester.
Kate Dicey
>
> In article <200401090...@foobar.zetnet.co.uk>, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:
> > from Sena <m...@privacy.net> contains these words:
> >> big....@tesco.net said...
> >
> >> > Sounds like an ideal candidate for the Infantry or Royal Marines.
> >> >
> >> Despite the evidence to the contrary when he and his sister get
> >> going, No.1 son is a pacifist who loathes the idea of going into the
> >> armed forces because of the war-like connotations.
> >
> > Greenpeas then?
>
> Heh. Which reminds me. Me Aged Parents came and took me out for a meal a few
> weeks ago, and in thecourse of conversation I recommended Neal Stevenson's
> "Zodiac" to me Dad, and I'm not sure I ought to have done. 'sa fun book,
> and I enjoyed it (in particular, I remarked that I'd never seen the
> chemistery of PCBs made to look like easy fun before) But. He used to
> eha a chemicals snpgbel, and he does rather tend to argue the other
> side of such things. Ho hum ...
Well, it will provide you with good argue points fer mumfs... Never run
out ov fings to talk about!
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
Tim Hall
<creaki...@foobar.zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
>The message <bthu26$402$1...@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk>
>from "AndyP" <An...@ajp100.freeserve.no-spam.co.uk> contains these words:
>
>> School Science Technicians have loads of interesting chemicals to make bangs
>> and flashes with (not to mention 13 weeks a year holiday).
>
>I goove you'll find that teknishuns don't get the same hols as the
>teeching staff.
Mrs. Hall are one and does. Sort of. She's at jbex the same number
of days as the teechers but sum of her holidaze is unpaid, but she
still gets paid the same amount each mumf. Or summat.
Tim
--
Blue Witch laughed at me
brian...@lycos.co.uk
Tim Hall <tim...@nospamtoday.clara.co.uk> wrote:
It varies with non teeching staff. some get unpaid hollydaze when the *****
are away, and others have to jbex. How they get their zbarl is anuvver
matter.
--
Brain D[13435]
[13435]Add one to email address to reply.
Thomas Rushton
> What's the most dangerous thing in the universe?
>
> N cebtenzzre jvi n fperjqevire.
I know a different version...
What are the three most dangerous things in the IT business?
1) A programmer with a screwdriver
2) A hardware type with a software patch
3) A user with an idea
--
Thomas Rushton, Leeds, UK
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!
- Stephen Wright
Thomas Rushton
> After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub
If they're Microsloth programmers, none. They just define darkness as
the arj standard.
--
Thomas Rushton, Leeds, UK
Half-dead cat found in box--RSPCA seeks Austrian scientist
coj
> Richard Robinson <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
>
>>After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub
>
>
> If they're Microsloth programmers, none. They just define darkness as
> the arj standard.
>
One to change the lightbulb
One to document the procedure
One to sue anyone who copies the look and feel of the Apple lightbulb
changing method
Austin Shackles
<DONTSPAMTh...@totalise.co.uk> enlightened us thusly:
>Richard Robinson <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
>> After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub
>
>If they're Microsloth programmers, none. They just define darkness as
>the arj standard.
cloff!
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.fsnet.co.uk my opinions are just that
0123456789112345678921234567893123456789412345678951234567896123456789712345
1 weebl: What's this? | in recognition of the fun that is weebl and bob
2 bob: it a SigRuler! | check out the weebl and bob archive:
3 weebl: How Handy! | http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/archives.php
Fenny
hollydaze, but not in the evening. I get an ollyday allowance from my
day wbo, but not the evening wbo, to be taken as I require. But the
collij was shut from 24 Dec to 4 Jan inclusive, and by juggling my half
day on Monday, I manijed to get 2 full weeks off. I get paid munfly
based on an annualised amount for the hours I jbex in each wbo.
--
Fenny
Fictitious Facts of the Day - from a list by Andrew Burford
loan.
dave...@ukmisc.org.uk
"We have an exact copy of your system here and it works fine"
--
Wibbly Pig likes bananas
Richard Robinson
*giggle*
Kate Dicey
>
> Richard Robinson <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
> > After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub
>
> If they're Microsloth programmers, none. They just define darkness as
> the arj standard.
Nah - izza hardware promble.
Duncan Duck
> allspamwil...@rickmansworth.mersinet.co.uk said...
> > > Thanks muchly one and all; we now retire to the gooving room to
> > > goove.
> > >
> > Gosh, you has a speshul room for gooving in? Are you allowed to goov
> > elsewhere?
> >
> It's otherwise known as the bedroom and is thus where we retire late
> at night immediately prior to going zuzzzz. This ensures that not
> too much time is taken up with gooving, which as any fule knoe will
> rot the brian.
Think no more; 'tis only thinking
Lays lads underground.
--
Paul Clark you.missed -> umist to reply
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. LeGuin
Michael Long
(and I don't get any answer to my email!) Lizz, send me a note (if
you're still speaking to me)!
Mike Long
mal...@aol.com
Lizz Holmans <di...@jackalope.demon.co.uk> wrote in message news:<b7orvvc5dp39mkuu2...@4ax.com>...
Lizz Holmans
>Sorry to be off-topic but I'm trying to get in touch with Lizz Holmans
>(and I don't get any answer to my email!) Lizz, send me a note (if
>you're still speaking to me)!
>
Fret not; he found me.
LizzH.
Jamie Hart
"N.L...@WKX.KM.EU" <dave...@ukmisc.org.uk> wrote in message
news:MPG.1a6a73888...@News.individual.net...
> coj wibbled:
> > Thomas Rushton wrote:
> > > Richard Robinson <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >>After all, how many pogrommers does it take to change a lightblub
> > >
> > >
> > > If they're Microsloth programmers, none. They just define darkness as
> > > the arj standard.
> > >
> > If they are Apple programmers it takes 3
> >
> > One to change the lightbulb
> > One to document the procedure
> > One to sue anyone who copies the look and feel of the Apple lightbulb
> > changing method
> >
job will be outsourced.
If it's a home lightbulb, a nine year old kid will take time out from
hacking his school network and write the following.
10 REM Change Lightbulb
20 On = 0:Off = NOT On
30 Cloth = 5: Hand = 0: Bin = 0
40 Hot = 100: Bulb = 0: Grip = 0
50 Tight = 10: Twist = 1: Loose = 0
60 Input "Bulb X: ";BulbPosX
70 Input "Bulb Y: ";BulbPosY
80 Input "Bulb Z: ";BulbPosZ
90 HandPosX = 1: HandPosY = 1: HandPosZ = 1
100 IF Switch = On THEN Switch = Off: Bulb = Hot
110 GOSUB 210: REM Remove Old Bulb
120 IF Hand-Bulb < 0 THEN PRINT "Error Removing Old Bulb!": END
130 Hand = Hand - Bulb: Bin = Bin + Bulb
140 Input "New Bulb X: ";BulbPosX
150 Input "New Bulb Y: ";BulbPosY
160 Input "New Bulb Z: ";BulbPosZ
170 GOSUB 280: Grasp Bulb
180 GOSUB 450: Insert Bulb
190 Switch = On
200 END
210 REM Remove Bulb
220 IF Bulb = Hot THEN GOSUB 420: REM Get Cloth
230 GOSUB 280: REM Grasp Bulb
240 REPEAT
250 Bulb = Bulb - Twist
260 UNTIL Bulb = Loose
270 RETURN
280 REM Grasp Bulb
290 REPEAT
300 IF HandPosX < BULBPosX THEN HandPosx = HandPosX + 1
310 IF HandPosX > BULBPosX THEN HandPosx = HandPosX - 1
320 IF HandPosY < BULBPosY THEN HandPosY = HandPosY + 1
330 IF HandPosY > BULBPosY THEN HandPosY = HandPosY - 1
340 IF HandPosZ < BULBPosZ THEN HandPosZ = HandPosZ + 1
350 IF HandPosZ > BULBPosZ THEN HandPosZ = HandPosZ - 1
360 UNTIL ABS(HandposX-BulbPosX) < 5 AND ABS(HandposY-BulbPosY) < 5 AND
ABS(HandPosZ-BulbPosZ) < 5
370 REPEAT
380 Grip = Grip + 1
390 UNTIL Grip = Tight
400 Hand = Hand + Bulb
410 RETURN
420 REM Get Cloth
430 Hand = Hand + Cloth
440 RETURN
450 REM Insert Bulb
460 REPEAT
470 Bulb = Bulb + Twist
480 UNTIL Bulb = Tight
490 RETURN
Barley Twist
<theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>20 On = 0:Off = NOT On
Sin Tax error ...
Barley Twist
(Please put out the cats to reply direct)
Jamie Hart
"Barley Twist" <gfiendi...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:uem7009rhg1jejejh...@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 13 Jan 2004 10:15:05 -0000, "Jamie Hart"
> <theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> >20 On = 0:Off = NOT On
>
> Sin Tax error ...
>
Barley Twist
<theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Picky Picky. I take it you tried it in QBasic?
Guilty as charged!
Lessee - also got GWBasic, IBM BASIC, and whatever it was that was
burned into the chips on the old IMBPC - the ones with the cassete
port ...
Oh! and Atari Basic, and Sinclair and Sharp, even TRS80 basic on a
ickle handheld that cost my father extremely dear about 25 year ago
Sena
> Sorry to be off-topic
>
No need to apologise: you'd be more out of line if you were *on*
topic!
--
Fran
If you need my email address please ask.
Jamie Hart
> On Tue, 13 Jan 2004 15:47:55 -0000, "Jamie Hart"
> <theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> >Picky Picky. I take it you tried it in QBasic?
>
> Guilty as charged!
>
> Lessee - also got GWBasic, IBM BASIC, and whatever it was that was
> burned into the chips on the old IMBPC - the ones with the cassete
> port ...
>
> Oh! and Atari Basic, and Sinclair and Sharp, even TRS80 basic on a
> ickle handheld that cost my father extremely dear about 25 year ago
Well it were writted in half remembered BBC Basic wiv a smattering of
Powerbasic and maybe a smidgin of Visual basic (but only the dos version).
I've rewritted it to work in QBasic and it compiles and runs, but of course
doesn't do anything useful. Also without the line numbers and using SUBs
instead of gosubs make it less visually appealing.
Barley Twist
<theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>it compiles and runs, but of course
>doesn't do anything useful.
That'll be the Consultant's Version then?
gonna post the code?
Jamie Hart
> On Wed, 14 Jan 2004 11:16:20 -0000, "Jamie Hart"
> <theodor...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> >it compiles and runs, but of course
> >doesn't do anything useful.
>
> That'll be the Consultant's Version then?
>
> gonna post the code?
>
Works with qbasic 1.1, don't know how old that version is.
BTW improvements would be appreciated. or even conversions to other
languages.
Here it is:
<begin code>
DECLARE SUB GetCloth ()
DECLARE SUB GraspBulb ()
DECLARE SUB RemoveBulb ()
DECLARE SUB InsertBulb ()
REM Program to Change Lightbulb
REM Make sure everythings available for the job
DIM SHARED Lit, Unlit, Cloth, Hand, Bin
DIM SHARED Hot, Bulb, Grip, Twist, Loose, Tight
DIM SHARED BulbPosX, BulbPosY, BulbPosZ
DIM SHARED HandPosX, HandPosY, HandPosZ
REM Set up the environment
Lit = 0: Unlit = NOT Lit
Cloth = 5: Hand = 0: Bin = 0
Hot = 100: Bulb = 0: Grip = 0
Twist = 1: Loose = 0
REM Figure out where the bulb is
INPUT "Bulb X: "; BulbPosX
INPUT "Bulb Y: "; BulbPosY
INPUT "Bulb Z: "; BulbPosZ
REM Start with hand by your side
HandPosX = 1: HandPosY = 1: HandPosZ = 1
REM Was the light on when it blew? If so the bulb may still be hot
IF Switch = Lit THEN Switch = Unlit: Bulb = Hot
RemoveBulb
REM Have you got it?
IF Hand - Bulb < 0 THEN PRINT "Error Removing Old Bulb!": END
REM Throw it away
Hand = Hand - Bulb: Bin = Bin + Bulb
REM Where's the new bulb?
INPUT "New Bulb X: "; BulbPosX
INPUT "New Bulb Y: "; BulbPosY
INPUT "New Bulb Z: "; BulbPosZ
InsertBulb
REM Turn it on
Switch = Lit
SUB GetCloth
Hand = Hand + Cloth
END SUB
SUB GraspBulb
Grip = 0
Tight = 10
DO
IF HandPosX < BulbPosX THEN HandPosX = HandPosX + 1
IF HandPosX > BulbPosX THEN HandPosX = HandPosX - 1
IF HandPosY < BulbPosY THEN HandPosY = HandPosY + 1
IF HandPosY > BulbPosY THEN HandPosY = HandPosY - 1
IF HandPosZ < BulbPosZ THEN HandPosZ = HandPosZ + 1
IF HandPosZ > BulbPosZ THEN HandPosZ = HandPosZ - 1
LOOP UNTIL ABS(HandPosX - BulbPosX) < 5 AND ABS(HandPosY - BulbPosY) < 5
AND ABS(HandPosZ - BulbPosZ) < 5
DO
Grip = Grip + 1
LOOP UNTIL Grip = Tight
Hand = Hand + Bulb
END SUB
SUB InsertBulb
GraspBulb
DO
Bulb = Bulb + Twist
LOOP UNTIL Bulb = Tight
END SUB
SUB RemoveBulb
IF Bulb = Hot THEN GetCloth
GraspBulb
DO
Bulb = Bulb - Twist
LOOP UNTIL Bulb = Loose
END SUB
</code>
Thomas Rushton
> In uk.rec.sheds, Thomas Rushton
> <DONTSPAMTh...@totalise.co.uk> (Thomas Rushton) wrote in
> <Xns946C56C07F4...@130.133.1.4>::
>
>|3) A user with an idea
>
> Nah. Ain't gonna happen.
Unfortunately, it has happened. The user has since been clubbed to
death with a knackered floptical.
--
Thomas Rushton, Leeds, UK
Documentation: The worst part of programming.
Thomas Rushton
snippetry:
> Sin Tax
They get you for everything these days...
--
Thomas Rushton, Leeds, UK
Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition
results in promotion to a job you can't do.
JonG
> Barley Twist <gfiendi...@hotmail.com> wrote, with some judicious
> snippetry:
>
>
>>Sin Tax
>
>
> They get you for everything these days...
>
Cor blimey, Guv. Income tax, car tax, council tax, capital gains
tax....I don't fink there ain't no tax wot I ain't bin clobbered for.
Syntax?
You ain't met my old English teacher.
--
JonG (Self -Preservation Society No. 37 3/4)
Nearly everything is now legal between consenting adults, except buying
a few pounds of apples. Chris Brown, ukrs