Toilet Humour
D.Dastardly
poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but
there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels
unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've
pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie
some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to
get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to
flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long
night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the
bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all
you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear
it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your
butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though
you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it
loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you
are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
--
dickda...@ukrm.org
Drink till you Reboot
ZX9R CB250RS
GHPOTHUF#12
TWO#28 PS#2
Richard Sterry
news:9snpms$149gui$1...@ID-49549.news.dfncis.de...
[snip]
> THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure
you
> are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
Otherwise known as a "shart".
Rick
Fr.Jack
Also a "Follow - through"
--
Fr. Jack
UKRMSBC#04 | COFF#01 (EFFA)(KoTL)
CBR6...Its feckin' Bloo!!!!
Stay calm don't be alarmed
Its just a holiday back at the funny farm
**Poker rules - supplemental**
**A .44 Magnum beats 4 aces**
Mark G Phillips
<dickda...@ukrm.org> wrote:
THE ABSEILER: The one where you can feel the shit slowly sliding down
your arse hairs and nothing you do seems to speed it up. In fact, once
at the end of the "rope" it waits, before cutting loose with a twang.
Mark.
--
Kawasaki GPZ 500S.... now at 52,000 miles plus.
Now in need of some TLC in the engine department.
Big Chris
<dickda...@ukrm.org> composed their inner turmoil and enlightened
usenet with :
-----8<
>WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels
>unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your
>underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
>
Just wash your Arse, with a facecloth and toothbrush, preferably not
your own.
>SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've
>pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie
>some more.
>
>POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to
>get it out, you practically have a stroke.
>
Do you know how many people actually die this way?
Elvis, just for a start.
-----8<
Can we not refrain form use of the word "poopie"? it has Pre-Juvenile
Merkin associations, Crap, Shit or Turd are surely better expressions
in every way.
;)
--
Remove skin to email
FUB#2, ZX-9R B1 (runs Lean, not Green, slightly Mean)
Read the uk.rec.motorcycles FAQ at;
http://www.ukrm.net/faq/index.html
Big Chris - Not Gone, but Completely forgotten
Four minds are better than One, ask any schizophrenic.
Fr.Jack
following:
>Do you know how many people actually die this way?
>Elvis, just for a start.
I read somewhere that it's the biggest cause of strokes and heart
attacks in UK........FWIW.....
Big Chris
<fr....@DIESPAMBOLLOXukrm.net> composed their inner turmoil and
enlightened usenet with :
>>Do you know how many people actually die this way?
>>Elvis, just for a start.
>
>I read somewhere that it's the biggest cause of strokes and heart
>attacks in UK........FWIW.....
I think I've seen the same figures.
I don't strain on the bog anymore, not that i'm particularly vain, but
I suspect most of us wouldn't want to be found dead on a toilet.
I wonder if the last thought the poor bastards have is "I must... wipe
my arse"?
Bastard Bear
>
> Once upon a Mon, 12 Nov 2001 22:29:13 +0000, Fr.Jack
> <fr....@DIESPAMBOLLOXukrm.net> composed their inner turmoil and
> enlightened usenet with :
>
> >>Do you know how many people actually die this way?
> >>Elvis, just for a start.
> >
> >I read somewhere that it's the biggest cause of strokes and heart
> >attacks in UK........FWIW.....
>
> I think I've seen the same figures.
>
> I don't strain on the bog anymore, not that i'm particularly vain, but
> I suspect most of us wouldn't want to be found dead on a toilet.
>
> I wonder if the last thought the poor bastards have is "I must... wipe
> my arse"?
No, it's be "I'm dead, so let some other f*cker do it ..."
--
Bastard Bear
These are my own opinions, and not necessarily those of all Bears
ZX-9R TART#1 UKRMHRC#8 GHPOTHUF#4 HB#2 TCP#1a DIAABTCOD#4 KotYTC# WG*
UKRMFBC#3 BOTAFOT#1 MSWR#2 "Deligatus est! Viae abeamus!"
Bear's LimeWire Flavour: Nectar: "Tomorrow's Sun"
The UKRM FAQ: http://www.ukrm.net/faq/ukrmfaq1.html
Say "bye bye!" to saddo trolls: http://www.nfilter.org