Twat of the Week
Dexter Broadhurst
"We were unable to deliver the following item:
<Hand Written>
Christmas Greeting Card
</HW>
Reason:
<HW>
1.20 owing"
</HW>
Brilliant. Jobsworth phag.
Mike Cawood, HND BIT
news:43a40a97$0$23283$db0f...@news.zen.co.uk...
They're all wankers in the GPO.
Regards Mike.
--
The best thing about Christmas is when it's over.
Shereen
> <HW>
> 1.20 owing"
> </HW>
>
> Brilliant. Jobsworth phag.
1.20 owing? Was he asking you to pay for the card as well as the stamp?
Shereen
--
Out of tea error. Redo.
http://www.opinionatedgeek.com/ :: part of the solution
Steve Firth
What do you expect him to do? Pay the money out of his own pocket?
Try getting some relatives who aren't too tight to put a stamp on an
envelope.
Dexter Broadhurst
> Try getting some relatives who aren't too tight to put a stamp on an
> envelope.
Humbug!
Sam Nelson
REMO...@shereen.co.uk says...
> Dexter Broadhurst wrote:
>
> > <HW>
> > 1.20 owing"
> > </HW>
> >
> > Brilliant. Jobsworth phag.
>
> 1.20 owing? Was he asking you to pay for the card as well as the stamp?
There's a GBP1 `handling charge' (ie., fine for having stupid
correspondents) these days.
--
SAm.
Steve Firth
Jusat think yourself lucky you don't have relatives like mine, I might
as well set up home at the sorting office to collect misaddressed,
unpaid, improperly wrapped packages.
Dexter Broadhurst
Pah. At least you get more than one card.
Dexter Broadhurst
>> 1.20 owing? Was he asking you to pay for the card as well as the stamp?
>
> There's a GBP1 `handling charge' (ie., fine for having stupid
> correspondents) these days.
Which I would have gladly paid if the postie had bothered to ask for it
instead of delivering a fucking card to tell me he couldn't deliver a
fucking card. Christ, am I the only one here to see how fucked up this is?
If it wasn't for the card companies, the totally workshy bastards would have
gone bust years ago.
Sam Nelson
qrnq_fghs...@ubgznvy.pb.hx says...
I don't send any these days---haven't for years---but I still get
loads.
--
SAm.
Sam Nelson
qrnq_fghs...@ubgznvy.pb.hx says...
> "Sam Nelson" <s...@ssrl.org.uk> wrote in message
>
> >> 1.20 owing? Was he asking you to pay for the card as well as the stamp?
> >
> > There's a GBP1 `handling charge' (ie., fine for having stupid
> > correspondents) these days.
>
> Which I would have gladly paid if the postie had bothered to ask for it
> instead of delivering a fucking card to tell me he couldn't deliver a
> fucking card. Christ, am I the only one here to see how fucked up this is?
Uh, no, you aren't. I had to pay GBP1.71 to have a small package
(containing a pair of slippers for YT, which turned out to be too
small!) released from postie's clutches. Pleasantly, the suppliers
refunded this when they sent the replacement slippers.
> If it wasn't for the card companies, the totally workshy bastards would have
> gone bust years ago.
These days they're coining it from Amazon, eBay, et al and the increase
in packet deliveries thus generated. They're still the most
trustworthy there is---although that isn't saying much.
--
SAm.
John of Aix
So far I've had six cards, all in the same envelope, from some charity
that looks after people who paint with their nose or something. I was
told in the acompanying message that I could use the cards but if I did
then it would be nice if I sent the nose painters (for they painted the
god awful pictures on the cards) some cash. Nice to see shareware has
moved into the greetings card market.
I rarely have cards as those who klnow me know I think it is a load of
crap and they won't get one in return, though an occasional strictly
orthodox relative will send me one. It usually arrives after Christmas.
I'm not a 'family man' so Christmas bores the pants off me personally
though I'm quite happy to see people enjoying themselves, especially
kids, their enjoyment is an absolute delight. But I'm a pagan really,
Wednesdays is my Happy Day, the Solstice. From then on my god, the Sun,
will start to rise again towards its zenith and that's much more
important to me than another pair of socks and a jumper.
John of Aix
You poor fuck. Send me your snail mail, I'll send you card.
John of Aix
> Uh, no, you aren't. I had to pay GBP1.71 to have a small package
> (containing a pair of slippers for YT, which turned out to be too
> small!) released from postie's clutches. Pleasantly, the suppliers
> refunded this when they sent the replacement slippers.
Ooh! Hats off to them. Name names, they deserve that.
Sam Nelson
j.mu...@libertysurf.fr says...
Elm House Products[0], of Harleston, Norfolk. The slippers are those
woolly, fluffy-inside things, but the sizing is a bit vague. Called
Toasties, I think, although no Breville or molten cheese is involved.
Dexter Broadhurst
>> Pah. At least you get more than one card.
> You poor fuck. Send me your snail mail, I'll send you card.
<grin>
Ta to the miscreants who have sent us cards, BTW.
XXX.
Sam Nelson
qrnq_fghs...@ubgznvy.pb.hx says...
Like, I know any single miscreant's address. Or not. Well, except for
the ones that haven't opted-out at NOMINET.
--
SAm.
John of Aix
I'm not really a slipper person but they deserve the publicity for
anyone who is interested, vene in our small Usenet way. I admire good
service and think that when it is given it should be remarked upon 'pour
encourager les autres'.
John of Aix
> Like, I know any single miscreant's address. Or not. Well, except
> for the ones that haven't opted-out at NOMINET.
I don't know any, and only have a vague knowledge of the whereabouts of
some of those who post here. I don't even know what most of the regulars
look like, though some I do. I suppose it is the same for most of you
for me, you know vaguely where I live and that's it.
I wonder if more closeness, knowledge of the real person behind the
poster, is a good or a bad thing from a Usenetian point of view. I quite
enjoy ballling out 'anonymous' (as you know) but here, on uk.misc, where
the regulars have taken on a certain persona in my mind (accurate or
not) they are too real for that sort of slanging match. Heated
discussion yes, like people in a pub, but I don't think I would ever say
"fuck off and die you stupid cunt" here whereas I wouldn't hesitate
elsewhere.
Corinthian McVitie Keogh
--
Badger's arse to the west, put on your vest;
When to the north, rain shall come forth.
To the east it be, snow before tea;
If south it turn, the sun he will burn.
Dexter Broadhurst
> (Pidge &
> Oakey are particularly eye-searing).
And between them have two artificial lenses. Oakey has a got a flashy glass
one. When the light catches it, he can do that Terminator thang. That other
cunt has only got a plastic one.
Dexter Broadhurst
> Uh, http://www.parkvets.com/lighter/lighter17.html
Ah. A sorry tale.
I lost all three of my testicles and my penis in a tragic accident, days
after I was born. Luckily, the doctors managed to replace them with a baby
elephant's head.
Sam Nelson
water...@spamcop.net says...
*applause*
--
SAm.
Marcus Houlden
wrote the following to uk.misc:
All you need to do is ask...
Quite funny reading uk.net a couple of years ago when people were trying
to explain why the Data Protection Act didn't apply to Nominet.
mh.
--
From address is a blackhole. Reply-to address is valid.
"People are animals too."
Linz
> So far I've had six cards, all in the same envelope, from some charity
> that looks after people who paint with their nose or something. I was
> told in the acompanying message that I could use the cards but if I
> did then it would be nice if I sent the nose painters (for they
> painted the god awful pictures on the cards) some cash. Nice to see
> shareware has moved into the greetings card market.
They've been sending those out for as long as I can remember. Mum used to
get a pack like that every year but I have no idea whether she ever used
them.
bof
<REMO...@shereen.co.uk> writes
>Dexter Broadhurst wrote:
>
>> <HW>
>> 1.20 owing"
>> </HW>
>>
>> Brilliant. Jobsworth phag.
>
I had one to collect which was about £1.06, 6p underpaid postage, a £1
fine, plus the six mile round trip to the sorting office, that's open
only for about two hours a the middle of a working day. Pissed me off a
great deal.
--
bof at bof dot me dot uk
Linz
> Dexter Broadhurst wrote:
>> "Steve Firth" <%steve%@malloc.co.uk> wrote in message
>>
>>> Try getting some relatives who aren't too tight to put a stamp on an
>>> envelope.
>>
>> Humbug!
>
> Jusat think yourself lucky you don't have relatives like mine, I might
> as well set up home at the sorting office to collect misaddressed,
> unpaid, improperly wrapped packages.
I once got one of those cards about a letter with unpaid postage so I went
and paid and took my letter home. It was from the solicitors that I later
sacked for being incompetent. Their failure to put a stamp on a letter was
the first clue I had.
bof
<pat...@dogslobber.demon.co.uk> writes
>Anyone else seen about 30 copies of this article?
!M3
Ian Collier
hastily scribbled some words to post to uk.misc:
>So far I've had six cards, all in the same envelope, from some charity
>that looks after people who paint with their nose or something. I was
>told in the acompanying message that I could use the cards but if I did
>then it would be nice if I sent the nose painters (for they painted the
>god awful pictures on the cards) some cash. Nice to see shareware has
>moved into the greetings card market.
Ah yes, the Mouth and Foot Painting Artists. Someone was ranting about
those people in Another Place. My Mrs and I have both received packs
from them in the past - though none this year. The cards got put in a
pile somewhere and lost.
Some charities have also been in the habit of sending me books of raffle
tickets, which I am supposed to sell to gullible friends and colleagues
and then send the money back along with the unused tickets.
PDSA (in conjunction with another charity that I don't recall) once sent
me a free entry to a prize draw, which I was invited to send back with a
donation (preferably in the form of a direct debit form, naturally).
I sent them a CAF voucher. Several months later they wrote back to
say they couldn't accept that and could I possibly send them a cheque
instead. But I didn't, being the heartless person that I am. And I
didn't win the draw either.
--
---- Ian Collier : i...@comlab.ox.ac.uk : WWW page below
------ http://users.comlab.ox.ac.uk/ian.collier/imc.shtml
bof
<i...@comlab.ox.ac.uk> writes
>I sent them a CAF voucher. Several months later they wrote back to
>say they couldn't accept that and could I possibly send them a cheque
>instead.
CAF voucher?
Shereen
> In article <MPG.1e0e9d8f5...@news.eclipse.co.uk>,
> REMO...@shereen.co.uk says...
> > 1.20 owing? Was he asking you to pay for the card as well as the stamp?
>
> correspondents) these days.
Didn't know that - which obviously says something about the high quality
of my correspondents.
Shereen
--
"I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink"
- Tom Waits
http://www.opinionatedgeek.com/ - part of the solution
Shereen
> John of Aix wrote:
[nose painter Christmas cards]
> They've been sending those out for as long as I can remember. Mum used to
> get a pack like that every year but I have no idea whether she ever used
> them.
My folks used to get them too, although their annual packet contained
cards by nose and toe painters. And sometimes included sheets of
stickers too, which pleased us kids mightily.