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Major Scott

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May 6, 2013, 7:32:44 AM5/6/13
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Post Office shut for some bank holiday or other, yet I see two postmen going around in vans. How does that work?

Add to that some stupid old codger insisted on reversing into his driveway (taking three attempts to do so, holding up the traffic for 5 minutes. I shouted "forwards is easier" and he looked very confused - you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Speaking of dogs, dog shitting on pavement on the way back, you'll never catch my cats doing that.

--
To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.
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Major Scott

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May 6, 2013, 8:01:00 AM5/6/13
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On Mon, 06 May 2013 12:52:27 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

> The entity calling itself Major Scott wrote:
>>
>> Add to that some stupid old codger insisted on reversing into his
>> driveway (taking three attempts to do so, holding up the traffic for 5
>> minutes. I shouted "forwards is easier" and he looked very confused -
>> you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
>
> Stupid old codger is simply following the highway code, rule 201:
>
> "Do not reverse from a side road into a main road. When using a
> driveway, reverse in and drive out if you can."
>
> No doubt you don't think this rule should be followed, as it's not
> "common sense".

I've just demonstrated with an example why it's wrong. If he had driven in forwards, the traffic wouldn't have been held up. When he reverses out later, he can wait until the road is clear.

And the HC doesn't say you have to do it in car parks, yet people do it. I can only assume they're so rubbish at driving that they can't line it up straight when they go in forwards.

Still, it's amusing if you drive close to them so when they go just past where they're reversing into, they can't go back. If they grumble, you say "Did you forget where you lived? You've driven past." or if it's a carpark, you drive forwards into the space they just missed.

--
It turns out that several protected, rare birds in Germany have been feeding on a species of protected, rare fish. In response to this dilemma, exasperated German officials have decided to do the only thing that makes sense in this kind of a situation - kill all the environmentalists.

k.r.j...@excite.com

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May 14, 2013, 1:44:42 PM5/14/13
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On Monday, 6 May 2013 13:01:00 UTC+1, Major Scott wrote:

> I've just demonstrated with an example why it's wrong. If he had driven in
> forwards, the traffic wouldn't have been held up. When he reverses out
> later, he can wait until the road is clear.


What's special about you? Why should you not be held up occasionally? Were you driving a fire engine, racing to a fire? Were you driving an ambulance to the site of a heart attack? Or are you just a typical selfish motorist who thinks the rest of world should come to a standstill and let you roar past?

Ken Johnson

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 2:00:43 PM5/14/13
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Quite the reverse. I drive in forwards myself because I don't like holding others up. I won't even parallel park if there's a queue behind me.

--
Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to keep amused.
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 2:19:27 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 19:08:04 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 18:44:42 +0100, <k.r.j...@excite.com> wrote:
>>
>> > On Monday, 6 May 2013 13:01:00 UTC+1, Major Scott wrote:
>> >
>> >> I've just demonstrated with an example why it's wrong. If he had driven in
>> >> forwards, the traffic wouldn't have been held up. When he reverses out
>> >> later, he can wait until the road is clear.
>> >
>> >
>> > What's special about you? Why should you not be held up occasionally?
>> > Were you driving a fire engine, racing to a fire? Were you driving an
>> > ambulance to the site of a heart attack? Or are you just a typical
>> > selfish motorist who thinks the rest of world should come to a
>> > standstill and let you roar past?
>>
>> Quite the reverse. I drive in forwards myself because I don't like
> ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ Heh! :)
>
>> holding others up. I won't even parallel park if there's a queue
>> behind me.
>
> What are you, man or mouse? Do it properly or you shouldn't be driving.

Why are you objecting to me thinking of others? I also let people out of side roads.

--
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich.

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 14, 2013, 2:32:06 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 19:19:27 +0100
"Gefreiter Krueger" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> I also let people out of side roads.

Selfish Bastard.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 2:40:19 PM5/14/13
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Do you have something against people that use side roads?

--
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. It's because I hate plants.

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 14, 2013, 3:06:16 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 19:40:19 +0100
"Gefreiter Krueger" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> >> I also let people out of side roads.
> >
> > Selfish Bastard.
>
> Do you have something against people that use side roads?

No, I have something against people who let them out.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 3:10:23 PM5/14/13
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Why?

--
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 14, 2013, 3:15:28 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:10:23 +0100
"Gefreiter Krueger" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> >> >> I also let people out of side roads.
> >> >
> >> > Selfish Bastard.
> >>
> >> Do you have something against people that use side roads?
> >
> > No, I have something against people who let them out.
>
> Why?

Because the job of traffic control is the responsibility of professional idiots and not amateurs like you.

All you do is fuck up my journey to work.
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Richard Robinson

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May 14, 2013, 3:23:14 PM5/14/13
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Sn!pe said:
>
> My pet rock Gordon just rolled his eyes downhill.

Small avalanche in wadingbird-territory, not many killed.



--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://www.qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 3:31:59 PM5/14/13
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You wouldn't say that if you were waiting to come out of a sideroad with wall to wall traffic on the main road.

--
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 3:32:18 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:18:34 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Dead Mangled Pigeon <inv...@invalid.co.uk> wrote:
>
> You bastard, just because you drive a Porsh.

A porsh can accelerate past stuff.

--
We used to mock the Americans' litigiousness, political correctness, health & safety obsessions and the like.
Now Britain is full of lazy lard buckets who'll sue for everything they can get if they even stub their toe on something.
I need to find a new country to live in.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 3:32:55 PM5/14/13
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> Highway Code 201
>
> "Do not reverse from a side road into a main road.
> When using a driveway, reverse in and drive out if you can."
>
> per: <https://www.gov.uk/using-the-road-159-to-203/reversing-200-to-203>
>
> If you are unable to comply with the Highway Code you would
> fail the Driving Test, hence you should not be driving. QED

The Highway Code is NOT law dumbass.

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 14, 2013, 3:51:04 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:31:59 +0100
"Gefreiter Krueger" <n...@spam.com> wrote:

> >> >> Do you have something against people that use side roads?
> >> >
> >> > No, I have something against people who let them out.
> >>
> >> Why?
> >
> > Because the job of traffic control is the responsibility of professional idiots and not amateurs like you.
> >
> > All you do is fuck up my journey to work.
>
> You wouldn't say that if you were waiting to come out of a sideroad with wall to wall traffic on the main road.

Get t'fuck! You have no idea what I might or might not say.

Typical bloody side-road-letter-inner attitude! Always know what other people think and say.
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:13:47 PM5/14/13
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You're over the acceptable blood-alcohol level for uk.misc.

--
FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:14:21 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:09:07 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:18:34 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> > Dead Mangled Pigeon <inv...@invalid.co.uk> wrote:
>> >
>> >> On Tue, 14 May 2013 19:40:19 +0100
>> >> "Gefreiter Krueger" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> > >> I also let people out of side roads.
>> >> > >
>> >> > > Selfish Bastard.
>> >> >
>> >> > Do you have something against people that use side roads?
>> >>
>> >> No, I have something against people who let them out.
>> >
>> > You bastard, just because you drive a Porsh.
>>
>> A porsh can accelerate past stuff.
>
> Yeah! Especially when they're pulling out of driveways forwards!
> If I was as rich and famous as Pidge I'd drive a Porsh too! Never mind
> penis size, when you've got a Porsh that doesn't matter!!

I'm sure they can reverse fast too.

--
In the Nintendo GameCube instruction manual:
"Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury"

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:15:20 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:56:16 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

>
> The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>>
>> The Highway Code is NOT law dumbass.
>
> Formally true, in that:
>
> "A failure on the part of a person to observe a provision of The Highway
> Code shall not of itself render that person liable to criminal
> proceedings of any kind"
>
> However:
>
> "any such failure may in any proceedings [...] be relied upon by any
> party to the proceedings as tending to establish or negative any
> liability which is in question in those proceedings."
>
> Road Traffic Act 1988 s.38(7).

So not important at all then. And shouldn't that read "negate"?

--
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:15:42 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:10:45 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:
>
>> The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>> >
>> > The Highway Code is NOT law dumbass.
>>
>> Formally true, in that:
>>
>> "A failure on the part of a person to observe a provision of The Highway
>> Code shall not of itself render that person liable to criminal
>> proceedings of any kind"
>>
>> However:
>>
>> "any such failure may in any proceedings [...] be relied upon by any
>> party to the proceedings as tending to establish or negative any
>> liability which is in question in those proceedings."
>>
>> Road Traffic Act 1988 s.38(7).
>
> Yeah! What he said! Nyer!!

What he said backwards with knobs on!

--
President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.
He begins with "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!"
Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in the President's ear:
"Mr. President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath."
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:26:15 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:20:21 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

>
> The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 20:56:16 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>>>>
>>>> The Highway Code is NOT law dumbass.
>>>
>>> Formally true, in that:
>>>
>>> "A failure on the part of a person to observe a provision of The Highway
>>> Code shall not of itself render that person liable to criminal
>>> proceedings of any kind"
>>>
>>> However:
>>>
>>> "any such failure may in any proceedings [...] be relied upon by any
>>> party to the proceedings as tending to establish or negative any
>>> liability which is in question in those proceedings."
>>>
>>> Road Traffic Act 1988 s.38(7).
>>
>> So not important at all then.
>
> You really can't read very well, can you?

If you don't crash, it's completely irrelevant. If you do, you'll probably be decided as at fault (or not) before even considering the highway code.

>> And shouldn't that read "negate"?
>
> No.

Negative is not a verb.

--
Why was the "pap smear" called that?
If it'd been called the "Cunt Scrape," no one would ever have it done.

Curlytop

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May 14, 2013, 4:29:57 PM5/14/13
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Major Scott set the following eddies spiralling through the space-time
continuum:

> Post Office shut for some bank holiday or other, yet I see two postmen
> going around in vans. How does that work?

Private usage of company property? Sack.
--
ξ: ) Proud to be curly

Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply

Richard Tobin

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May 14, 2013, 4:22:20 PM5/14/13
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In article <op.ww3cd...@red.lan>, Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:

>Negative is not a verb.

It is, and has been since at least the 18th century. The OED has
quotations from Benjamin Franklin, Coleridge, and The Times among many
others.

-- Richard
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:43:40 PM5/14/13
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Only for ignoramuses who have never heard of the word "negate".

--
"Have you read The Three Musketeers?"
"No, only one of them."

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:44:34 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:29:57 +0100, Curlytop <pvstownse...@ntlworld.com> wrote:

> Major Scott set the following eddies spiralling through the space-time
> continuum:
>
>> Post Office shut for some bank holiday or other, yet I see two postmen
>> going around in vans. How does that work?
>
> Private usage of company property? Sack.

BT used to let you use their vans.

--
An actor works all his life to gain recognition.
He makes guest appearances, spends a lot for publicity people and agents etc.
Then, when he finally becomes well known, he complains he cannot go out in public anymore.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 4:46:27 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:34:00 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

>
> The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>>
>> If you don't crash, it's completely irrelevant.
>
> You do like stating the obvious, don't you? I assume you think you'll
> never crash? Or be crashed into?
>
>> If you do, you'll probably be decided as at fault (or not) before even
>> considering the highway code.
>
> And you don't know very much about the law, either. Failure to follow
> the Highway Code by, for example, reversing onto a road, or stopping on
> the carriageway to let someone out of a side road, will be presented by
> the prosecutuin or pursuers as clear evidence of a breach of the duty of
> care. So the Highway Code is of primary importance in such an action.
> As the Act said.

If I reverse out of my drive into the path of an oncoming car I am CLEARLY at fault.
If I go forwards out of my drive into the path of an oncoming car I am CLEARLY at fault.

The only rule required in determining fault in either of the two cases is who is meant to give way!

>>>> And shouldn't that read "negate"?
>>>
>>> No.
>>
>> Negative is not a verb.
>
> It is in legal writing. Of which you are utterly ignorant. As you have
> proved time and again.

Why not teach lawyers English? Then we wouldn't have to pay them to translate their writings.

--
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Mr Guest

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May 14, 2013, 4:53:32 PM5/14/13
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Gefreiter Krueger wrote (apparently) in uk.misc on Tue 14 May 2013
21:13:47:
But he can still type...
--
MrGuest
Always, seemingly, on the road to nowhere
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 5:06:42 PM5/14/13
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That might be his cat.

--
Why are there Marines on Navy ships?
Sheep would be too obvious.

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 5:07:27 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:55:32 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

>
> The entity calling itself Mr Guest wrote:
>>
>> Gefreiter Krueger wrote (apparently) in uk.misc on Tue 14 May 2013
>> 21:13:47:
>>
>>> You're over the acceptable blood-alcohol level for uk.misc.
>>>
>> But he can still type...
>
> Typical bloody typist!

I'm a typist, I have an aversion to anything other than the written word. All type should be sent back to the country it came from.

--
Artificial intelligence is always better than real stupidity.
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 5:16:23 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:10:36 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 21:34:00 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:
>>
>> >
>> > The entity calling itself Gefreiter Krueger wrote:
>> >>
>> >> If you don't crash, it's completely irrelevant.
>> >
>> > You do like stating the obvious, don't you? I assume you think you'll
>> > never crash? Or be crashed into?
>> >
>> >> If you do, you'll probably be decided as at fault (or not) before even
>> >> considering the highway code.
>> >
>> > And you don't know very much about the law, either. Failure to follow
>> > the Highway Code by, for example, reversing onto a road, or stopping on
>> > the carriageway to let someone out of a side road, will be presented by
>> > the prosecutuin or pursuers as clear evidence of a breach of the duty of
>> > care. So the Highway Code is of primary importance in such an action.
>> > As the Act said.
>>
>> If I reverse out of my drive into the path of an oncoming car I am CLEARLY
>> If I at fault. go forwards out of my drive into the path of an oncoming
>> If I car I am CLEARLY at fault.
>>
>> The only rule required in determining fault in either of the two cases is
>> who is meant to give way!
>>
>> >>>> And shouldn't that read "negate"?
>> >>>
>> >>> No.
>> >>
>> >> Negative is not a verb.
>> >
>> > It is in legal writing. Of which you are utterly ignorant. As you have
>> > proved time and again.
>>
>> Why not teach lawyers English? Then we wouldn't have to pay them
>> to translate their writings.
>>
>> --
>> Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the
>> other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
>
>
> To judge by the standard of Gefreiter Krueger's .sig he might be
> Oberstleutnant Skott, nein?

I thought that was obvious. Do I have to explain everything?

--
I was walking down the street and saw a black guy walking with a TV in his hands.
I thought to myself, shit that looks like mine so I rushed home.
Nope, mine was still there, shining my shoes.
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 14, 2013, 5:58:08 PM5/14/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:54:34 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:

>
> The entity calling itself Sn!pe wrote:
>>
>> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>>
>>> > To judge by the standard of Gefreiter Krueger's .sig he might be
>>> > Oberstleutnant Skott, nein?
>>>
>>> I thought that was obvious. Do I have to explain everything?
>>
>> Abso-bloomin'-lootly, we're fick in 'ere.
>
> Not as phick as Phucker, though.

I'm not thick, I'm misunderstood.

--
More people in the UK are injured by standing on upturned mains plugs than by electric shocks.
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Steve Firth

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May 15, 2013, 10:29:42 AM5/15/13
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Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:54:34 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> The entity calling itself Sn!pe wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>> To judge by the standard of Gefreiter Krueger's .sig he might be
>>>>>> Oberstleutnant Skott, nein?
>>>>>
>>>>> I thought that was obvious. Do I have to explain everything?
>>>>
>>>> Abso-bloomin'-lootly, we're fick in 'ere.
>>>
>>> Not as phick as Phucker, though.
>>
>> I'm not thick, I'm misunderstood.
>
> plank
> plank

You'll need another one and make sure they are all short.

--
<•DarWin><|
_/ _/

Gefreiter Krueger

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May 15, 2013, 11:16:21 AM5/15/13
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On Wed, 15 May 2013 14:51:48 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:54:34 +0100, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> wrote:
>>
>> >
>> > The entity calling itself Sn!pe wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>> >>
>> >>> > To judge by the standard of Gefreiter Krueger's .sig he might be
>> >>> > Oberstleutnant Skott, nein?
>> >>>
>> >>> I thought that was obvious. Do I have to explain everything?
>> >>
>> >> Abso-bloomin'-lootly, we're fick in 'ere.
>> >
>> > Not as phick as Phucker, though.
>>
>> I'm not thick, I'm misunderstood.
>
> plank
> plank

My screen font size is 140 points, so those were very long planks!

--
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 15, 2013, 12:15:01 PM5/15/13
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On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:05:44 +0100
sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk (Sn!pe) wrote:

> What do you expect from a road-kill bird, literature?

I expect nothing but the best.

I usually get nothing.

Richard Robinson

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May 15, 2013, 12:57:19 PM5/15/13
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Tyre tracks all across your back,
I can see you had your fun.

--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://www.qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

Dead Mangled Pigeon

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May 15, 2013, 1:51:08 PM5/15/13
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On Wed, 15 May 2013 11:57:19 -0500
Richard Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> wrote:

> > I usually get nothing.
>
> Tyre tracks all across your back,
> I can see you had your fun.

Every day is a new adventure.
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Gefreiter Krueger

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May 15, 2013, 5:32:18 PM5/15/13
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On Wed, 15 May 2013 22:18:06 +0100, Sn!pe <sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:

> Gefreiter Krueger <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>
>> My screen font size is 140 points, so those were very long planks!
>
> p l a
> plank
> plank

The top one's rotten.

--
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

Richard Robinson

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May 15, 2013, 6:51:42 PM5/15/13
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Sn!pe said:
> Richard Robinson <rich...@privacy.net> wrote:
>> Dead Mangled Pigeon said:
>> > On Tue, 14 May 2013 22:05:44 +0100
>> > sn...@spambin.fsnet.co.uk (Sn!pe) wrote:
>> >
>> >> What do you expect from a road-kill bird, literature?
>> >
>> > I expect nothing but the best.
>> >
>> > I usually get nothing.
>>
>> Tyre tracks all across your back,
>> I can see you had your fun.
>
> Q: I say, I say, I say, why did the pigeon cross the road?
> A: To see Gregory Peck.
>
> Ithangyow, I'm here all week.

Ooo, you don't want to cross that, it's a cyclepath.
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