In article <MPG.164a01538896b09c989f93@news>, Vokł <
nos...@nospam.com>
writes
>Capitalism
>----------
>A system where you remain poor, whilst the richer people get even
>richer at your expense
>
I've always preferred economics as explained in cows:
>
>FEUDALISM
>You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
>
>PURE SOCIALISM
>You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
>everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The
>government gives you all the milk you need.
>
>BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
>Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of
>the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government
>gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
>
>FASCISM
>You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
>them, sells you the milk.
>
>PURE COMMUNISM
>You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all
>share the milk.
>
>REAL WORLD COMMUNISM
>You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker
>about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile,
>no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
>
>RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
>You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
>all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the
>black market.
>
>PERESTROIKA
>You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all
>the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can sell it on the "free"
>market.
>
>CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
>You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
>
>MILITARIANISM
>You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
>
>TOTALITARIANISM
>You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
>Milk is banned.
>
>PURE DEMOCRACY
>You have two cows. You neighbours decide who gets the milk.
>
>REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
>You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the
>milk.
>
>BRITISH DEMOCRACY
>You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The
>government doesn't do anything.
>
>BUREAUCRACY
>You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed
>them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then
>it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
>drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
>cows.
>
>PURE ANARCHY
>You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
>neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.
>
>PURE CAPITALISM
>You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>
>CAPITALISM
>You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows,
>because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
>
>ENVIRONMENTALISM
>You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
>
>POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
>You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of phallo
>centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less
>valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
>
>SURREALISM
>You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
>lessons
>
--
Geraint Lewis