Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

Public transport - why?

1 view
Skip to first unread message

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 24, 2008, 4:57:55 PM9/24/08
to
It's just not viable.

For a laugh (and because they just built a station next to my house) I decided to check the feasability of a train to work. It takes twice as long and costs twice as much as by car. (1.5 hours instead of 45 mins and ᅵ16.50 instead of ᅵ7.50)

Silly treehuggers.

Is this the same throughout the country? I'm in central Scotland.

--
http://www.petersparrots.com http://www.insanevideoclips.com http://www.petersphotos.com

.--------------------.
| |
| Good Evening.... | .--.--.
| | .; .;|;. ;.
`-------------. ,---' .;_;' `;_;.
\| ; ;' `; ;
\ ;;'.--.___.--.`;;
;-( o )=( o )-;
( `--' | `--' )
\| . . |/
........... . .:::::. . .______
/ . '---` . '\
.' `. .' \
| ____,.- . | `.....' | _______ |
| ,-' \ /|\'' \.-- |
| / \.'\ /,'. \. - |
| /| ` `\ / \ |
| ,/ _ '/ '\ |
,-' ,-. |o '
/ '| | | | \
/ ,/| |o | \ `
| .' | |.' |. \ \
________/ .'____|________________________||__`. `__________
( \ ) / )
'-. '-. ( .-` .-`
'-. .-'--.__. .-.__.--`-. .-`
'-..' \--' : ~`:=,`- `..-`
\ .. \\ |`-'|`-, /
\\\\\\\) | |`-'/.'/
\)\)\\ `-' `-'
`

Paul Weaver

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 3:40:11 AM9/25/08
to
On 24 Sep, 21:57, "Peter Hucker" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
> It's just not viable.
>
> For a laugh (and because they just built a station next to my house) I decided to check the feasability of a train to work.  It takes twice as long and costs twice as much as by car.  (1.5 hours instead of 45 mins and 16.50 instead of 7.50)

>
> Silly treehuggers.
>
> Is this the same throughout the country?  I'm in central Scotland.

Nope. Train for me takes 1h05 - 1h20 depending on when I leave, car
takes 1h25 in good traffic

I also get to watch TV/read a book/reply to trolls while I'm on the
train. Either that or work, and hence leave early.

Also get to go to the pub after work

Cost wise train costs about £13 a day, car costs £11 a day in petrol
alone -- £45 a day in inland revenue mileage.

Message has been deleted

Sam Nelson

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 6:22:38 AM9/25/08
to
In article <87ej38s...@news2.kororaa.com>,
August West <aug...@kororaa.com> writes:
> For me, train takes 20 minutes, door to door; the car 45-60. Cost of
> train: about fiver; just parking the car costs rather more than that.

Bus to work and back would be about GBP2.50 each way (depends on the driver
and which buses turn up). They've just allowed staff to have the student-
discount card, which gets half-fare on some buses. Working out the bus-fare
is extremely complicated and effectively non-deterministic. I can't help
thinking that the bus company must like it that way.

Car takes 12-18 minutes for 6.8 miles (excluding outliers like snow/ice/fog
and obstruction by accidents) which is a little bit more than a litre of fuel
for the trip. Car-parking at works costs ~50p/day. Considering I have the
car anyway, the timing and arithmetic is pretty clear.

> I'm in central Scotland, too.

Likewise. Still getting to work by car. If I need to do _anything_ other
than just go to work and come back (bit of shopping, etc.), which I do maybe
one day a week) bus is a no-hoper.
--
SAm.

Message has been deleted

Bing Trotsky

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 6:19:15 AM9/25/08
to
In article <87ej38s...@news2.kororaa.com>, aug...@kororaa.com says...

> Paul Weaver <use...@isorox.co.uk> writes:
>
> > On 24 Sep, 21:57, "Peter Hucker" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
> >> It's just not viable.
> >>
> >> For a laugh (and because they just built a station next to my house) I decided to check the feasability of a train to work.  It takes twice as long and costs twice as much as by car.  (1.5 hours instead of 45 mins and 16.50 instead of 7.50)
> >>
> >> Silly treehuggers.
> >>
> >> Is this the same throughout the country?  I'm in central Scotland.
> >
> > Nope. Train for me takes 1h05 - 1h20 depending on when I leave, car
> > takes 1h25 in good traffic
>
> For me, train takes 20 minutes, door to door; the car 45-60. Cost of
> train: about fiver; just parking the car costs rather more than that.
>
> I'm in central Scotland, too.
>

I'm in central London. A 45 minute journey by car I can probably walk in
15 minutes.

--
eric
Live fast, die only if strictly necessary.

Roland Perry

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 7:00:46 AM9/25/08
to
In message <ec5sq5-...@nntp.stir.ac.uk>, at 11:22:38 on Thu, 25 Sep
2008, Sam Nelson <s...@ssrl.org.uk> remarked:

>If I need to do _anything_ other than just go to work and come back
>(bit of shopping, etc.), which I do maybe one day a week) bus is a
>no-hoper.

I can travel around on the bus all day for a shade over £2 (because I
have a pre-pay card) or £3 on a turn-up-and-go basis. Parking at the
station is £8 per day and you'd be lucky to find any parking in my city
centre (Nottingham) elsewhere for less than £2 per hour. I work from
home, and the parking there is free.
--
Roland Perry

Sam Nelson

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 7:32:04 AM9/25/08
to
In article <87abdws...@news2.kororaa.com>,
August West <aug...@kororaa.com> writes:

> s...@ssrl.org.uk (Sam Nelson) writes:
>
> >> I'm in central Scotland, too.
> >
> > Likewise. Still getting to work by car. If I need to do _anything_
> > other than just go to work and come back (bit of shopping, etc.),
> > which I do maybe one day a week) bus is a no-hoper.
>
> But then you essentially, and unusually, work in the countryside, so
> your pressures are almost entirely the reverse of a town-worker like
> me.

Pfft. I drive past a city twice a day!

> For example, my office contains about 100 engineers, but there are
> only 5 parking spaces for the two floors we are on. The ank & transport
> company on the 4 floors above have the same ratio of staff: parking
> spaces. But we are very near shops, etc.

That ank business, it's a killer.
--
SAm.

Tom Barry

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 8:43:26 AM9/25/08
to
Sam Nelson wrote:

>
>> For example, my office contains about 100 engineers, but there are
>> only 5 parking spaces for the two floors we are on. The ank & transport
>> company on the 4 floors above have the same ratio of staff: parking
>> spaces. But we are very near shops, etc.
>
> That ank business, it's a killer.

Tank? It's one way to turn rush hour into crush hour, I suppose. The
mpg's not brilliant.

Tom

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Roland Perry

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 9:23:10 AM9/25/08
to
In message <87wsh0q...@news2.kororaa.com>, at 13:50:24 on Thu, 25
Sep 2008, August West <aug...@kororaa.com> remarked:
>bank dank hank lank rank sank tank wank yank
>
>Take your pick as to the most likely!

Angel Trains is owned by the Royal Bank of Scotland; HSBC Rail (formerly
Eversholt Leasing) by err, HSBC; and Porterbrook by Abbey National; so
that's three possible "bank and transport" companies.
--
Roland Perry

Message has been deleted

David Livingstone

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 12:32:59 PM9/25/08
to
In message <mf7Ii1d+...@perry.co.uk>, Roland Perry
<rol...@perry.co.uk> writes

>Angel Trains is owned by the Royal Bank of Scotland

They sold Angel Trains for £3.6 billion to a group lead by Babcock &
Brown
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7452205.stm
--
David

Rusty Hinge

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 12:05:47 PM9/25/08
to
Not in Scotland now, but bus costs me nothing (Old Codger's Pass),
long-distance coach is half fare.

Stopped using a car...

Motorbike for fun, though.

--
Rusty
Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
(Alice Thomas Ellis)

Rusty Hinge

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 12:16:11 PM9/25/08
to
The message <87skroq...@news2.kororaa.com>
from August West <aug...@kororaa.com> contains these words:

> Ah, I misrepresented (missed out a comma): it's one bank, and one
> transport company. And it's none of the banks menitoned above, either.
> The transport company does trams.

So does Banksy

Roland Perry

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 4:11:51 PM9/25/08
to
In message <37k7SlW7...@airds.co.uk>, at 17:32:59 on Thu, 25 Sep
2008, David Livingstone <numb...@airds.co.uk> remarked:

>>Angel Trains is owned by the Royal Bank of Scotland
>
>They sold Angel Trains for £3.6 billion to a group lead by Babcock &
>Brown
>http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7452205.stm

Someone needs to update wikipedia.
--
Roland Perry

Fevric J Glandules

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 4:33:42 PM9/25/08
to
On Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:11:51 +0100, Roland Perry wrote:

> Someone needs to update wikipedia.

And, in other news...

--
One way ticket from Mornington Crescent to Tannhauser Gate please.

Adrian

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 4:55:43 PM9/25/08
to
Roland Perry <rol...@perry.co.uk> gurgled happily, sounding much like they
were saying:

> Someone needs to update wikipedia.

Don't let us stop you.

Roland Perry

unread,
Sep 25, 2008, 5:35:09 PM9/25/08
to
In message <6k2c6fF...@mid.individual.net>, at 20:55:43 on Thu, 25
Sep 2008, Adrian <tooma...@gmail.com> remarked:

>> Someone needs to update wikipedia.
>
>Don't let us stop you.

I may do that, now the deal seems be certain; although it might be
quicker if someone more used to the wikipedia runes did it.

http://www.angeltrains.co.uk/press/release.aspx?Id=703
--
Roland Perry

Willy Eckerslyke

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 4:04:14 AM9/26/08
to
Sam Nelson wrote:

> Bus to work and back would be about GBP2.50 each way (depends on the driver
> and which buses turn up). They've just allowed staff to have the student-
> discount card, which gets half-fare on some buses.

Don't suppose you have an easy link to anything about that, do you? It
could be worth suggesting hereabouts.

Sam Nelson

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 8:00:27 AM9/26/08
to
In article <6k3jbmF...@mid.individual.net>,

It's all a bit haphazard at the moment, because apparently it's only just
happened. You go to

https://www.firstgroup.com/students/scotlandeast/idcard.php

and answer `Staff' to the full/part-time student question. You also have
to lie about which year of study you're in. That's as much detail as I
have, right now.
--
SAm.

Willy Eckerslyke

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 9:02:51 AM9/26/08
to

Ta. By the time I get around to doing anything about it, they may have
got it a little more organised.

Willy Eckerslyke

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 9:11:43 AM9/26/08
to
Willy Eckerslyke wrote:
> Sam Nelson wrote:
>> In article <6k3jbmF...@mid.individual.net>,
>> Willy Eckerslyke <oss108...@bangor.ac.uk> writes:
>>> Sam Nelson wrote:
>>>
>>>> Bus to work and back would be about GBP2.50 each way (depends on the
>>>> driver
>>>> and which buses turn up). They've just allowed staff to have the
>>>> student-
>>>> discount card, which gets half-fare on some buses.

On the other hand...

I just checked and Arriva's student discounts only apply to season
tickets, so would be less appealing. Never mind.

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Steve Firth

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 10:34:20 AM9/26/08
to
Huge <Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid> wrote:

> I went to Birmingham yesterday on the train. It was fine, if a bit full. But
> boy, isn't New Street a shithole?

Indeed, but outside near the Royal Mail depot is an extremely fine
Indian Restaurant with a decent wine list.

OTOH, when a colleague of mine was crossing from the station to the
restaurant someone bashed him over the head with a brick and stole his
laptop.

Message has been deleted

Bing Trotsky

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 11:33:56 AM9/26/08
to
In article <gbinl4$5ot$1...@anubis.demon.co.uk>, Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid
says...

>
> I went to Birmingham yesterday on the train. It was fine, if a bit full.

That's about the nicest thing I've ever read about Birmingham. IMO it's a
complete shithole and a bit full.

> But boy, isn't New Street a shithole?
>

It's in Birmingham, what do you expect?

Could be worse though. You might have had to go to Grimsby.

Chris Eilbeck

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 12:36:55 PM9/26/08
to
Huge <Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid> writes:

> I went to Birmingham yesterday on the train. It was fine, if a bit

> full. But boy, isn't New Street a shithole?

It's better than it used to be but I guess it'll be way better when
they've spent 550 million on it.

http://www.birminghammail.net/news/birmingham-campaigns/birmingham-new-street-station/2008/09/18/stunning-new-look-for-birmingham-s-new-street-station-97319-21847775/

Chris
--
Chris Eilbeck

Sam Nelson

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 1:10:52 PM9/26/08
to
In article <m2od2ac...@hyperspace.org.uk>, use...@hyperspace.org.uk
says...

50 million for a thermonuclear device of some sort, and half a billion
for the rebuild?
--
SAm.

Steve Firth

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 1:38:33 PM9/26/08
to
Chris Eilbeck <use...@hyperspace.org.uk> wrote:

> Huge <Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid> writes:
>
> > I went to Birmingham yesterday on the train. It was fine, if a bit
> > full. But boy, isn't New Street a shithole?
>
> It's better than it used to be but I guess it'll be way better when
> they've spent 550 million on it.

I'm still laughing at:

"this iconic new gateway to Birmingham will cement the city's place as
one of Europe's style capitals"

and

"will put Birmingham in the same league as architectural giants like
Barcelona and London"

No, please, make them stop.

Message has been deleted

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 2:14:07 PM9/26/08
to
On Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:19:15 +0100, Bing Trotsky <ericj...@gmail.com> wrote:

> In article <87ej38s...@news2.kororaa.com>, aug...@kororaa.com says...
>> Paul Weaver <use...@isorox.co.uk> writes:
>>
>> > On 24 Sep, 21:57, "Peter Hucker" <n...@spam.com> wrote:
>> >> It's just not viable.
>> >>
>> >> For a laugh (and because they just built a station next to my house) I decided to check the feasability of a train to work.  It takes twice as long and costs twice as much as by car.  (1.5 hours instead of 45 mins and 16.50 instead of 7.50)
>> >>
>> >> Silly treehuggers.
>> >>
>> >> Is this the same throughout the country?  I'm in central Scotland.
>> >
>> > Nope. Train for me takes 1h05 - 1h20 depending on when I leave, car
>> > takes 1h25 in good traffic
>>
>> For me, train takes 20 minutes, door to door; the car 45-60. Cost of
>> train: about fiver; just parking the car costs rather more than that.
>>
>> I'm in central Scotland, too.
>>
>
> I'm in central London. A 45 minute journey by car I can probably walk in
> 15 minutes.

I think the problem is my journey is not in line with the rails. I have to change twice (the train not my clothes).

I have an LPG vehicle which is cheaper, and I drive in a non standard way which is faster.

--
http://www.petersparrots.com http://www.insanevideoclips.com http://www.petersphotos.com

System error 4C: kernel panic

Chris Eilbeck

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 2:22:14 PM9/26/08
to
%steve%@malloc.co.uk (Steve Firth) writes:

Well we'll never get anything built in Brum like the TGV station
outside Lyon. The Victorian Society were on the local news earlier
opposing a horrible concrete tower block being pulled down and
replaced with a metal and glass one.

Chris
--
Chris Eilbeck

Message has been deleted

Bing Trotsky

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 2:11:19 PM9/26/08
to
In article <MPG.234727f58...@news.zen.co.uk>, s...@ssrl.org.uk
says...

The trick is that they are doing the rebuild in Tamworth.

Message has been deleted

bof

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 4:40:24 PM9/26/08
to
In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
<no...@spam.com> writes

>I drive in a non standard way which is faster.

Ooh, do tell more


--
bof at bof dot me dot uk

Rusty Hinge 2

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 3:57:14 PM9/26/08
to
The message <MPG.2347113bf...@news.aqxs.net>
from Bing Trotsky <ericj...@gmail.com> contains these words:

> In article <gbinl4$5ot$1...@anubis.demon.co.uk>, Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid
> says...
> >
> > I went to Birmingham yesterday on the train. It was fine, if a bit full.

> That's about the nicest thing I've ever read about Birmingham. IMO it's a
> complete shithole and a bit full.

> > But boy, isn't New Street a shithole?
> >

> It's in Birmingham, what do you expect?

> Could be worse though. You might have had to go to Grimsby.

When in Birmingham visit the Anchor at Digbeth, and find an imposing
selection of cask-conditioned ales and beers.

Puts B'ham in a whole new category - i.e.: Must Go There.

--
Rusty
Direct reply to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co period uk
Separator in search of a sig

Rusty Hinge 2

unread,
Sep 26, 2008, 3:58:30 PM9/26/08
to
The message <1inw0xq.yg1c8y16lo72gN%%steve%@malloc.co.uk>
from %steve%@malloc.co.uk (Steve Firth) contains these words:

> and

They don't combine the words 'Bull' and 'Ring' for nothing innit.

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Bing Trotsky

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 11:14:01 AM9/27/08
to
In article <gbkul5$1li$2...@anubis.demon.co.uk>, Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid
says...

> On 2008-09-26, Bing Trotsky <ericj...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > In article <gbinl4$5ot$1...@anubis.demon.co.uk>, Hu...@nowhere.much.invalid
> > says...
> >>
> > Could be worse though. You might have had to go to Grimsby.
>
> I last went to Grimsby about 30 years ago. I don't recall it being particularly
> horrid.
>

It's the combination of the biting see breeze direct from Scandanavia,
the smell of rotting fish (though not from Scandanavia), and the added
bonus of the entire contents of just about every sewer in the Midlands or
Yorkshire emptying into the Humber to wash ashore at Cleethorpes.

Message has been deleted

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 2:15:05 PM9/27/08
to
On Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:24 +0100, bof <nothi...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
> <no...@spam.com> writes
>> I drive in a non standard way which is faster.
>
> Ooh, do tell more

Just take the highway code and burn half of it. Then remove all respect for other road users.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Message has been deleted

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 3:24:35 PM9/27/08
to
On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:09:54 +0100, Owen Wilson <wilson...@gglasg.co.uk> wrote:

> On or about Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:15:05 +0100, Peter Hucker is alleged
> to have written:


>
>> On Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:24 +0100, bof <nothi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
>>> <no...@spam.com> writes
>>>> I drive in a non standard way which is faster.
>>>
>>> Ooh, do tell more
>>
>> Just take the highway code and burn half of it. Then remove all respect for other road users.
>

> I thought that was the standard way!
> New things every day!

There are far too many law abiding citizens around here. People who sit at red lights when there is nothing else in the way!

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad . . . " Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 3:25:10 PM9/27/08
to
On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:09:54 +0100, Owen Wilson <wilson...@gglasg.co.uk> wrote:

> On or about Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:15:05 +0100, Peter Hucker is alleged
> to have written:
>

>> On Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:24 +0100, bof <nothi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
>>> <no...@spam.com> writes
>>>> I drive in a non standard way which is faster.
>>>
>>> Ooh, do tell more
>>
>> Just take the highway code and burn half of it. Then remove all respect for other road users.
>

> I thought that was the standard way!
> New things every day!

FUCK OFF TROLL!!!

What the hell is the point in making replies go to another group which nobody here reads?

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 3:25:15 PM9/27/08
to
On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:09:54 +0100, Owen Wilson <wilson...@gglasg.co.uk> wrote:

> On or about Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:15:05 +0100, Peter Hucker is alleged
> to have written:
>

>> On Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:24 +0100, bof <nothi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
>>> <no...@spam.com> writes
>>>> I drive in a non standard way which is faster.
>>>
>>> Ooh, do tell more
>>
>> Just take the highway code and burn half of it. Then remove all respect for other road users.
>

> I thought that was the standard way!
> New things every day!

FUCK OFF TROLL!!!

What the hell is the point in making replies go to another group which nobody here reads?

--

I limit my Political Correctness to voting.

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 27, 2008, 3:25:20 PM9/27/08
to
On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:09:54 +0100, Owen Wilson <wilson...@gglasg.co.uk> wrote:

> On or about Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:15:05 +0100, Peter Hucker is alleged
> to have written:
>

>> On Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:24 +0100, bof <nothi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> In message <op.uh3ox...@fx62.mshome.net>, Peter Hucker
>>> <no...@spam.com> writes
>>>> I drive in a non standard way which is faster.
>>>
>>> Ooh, do tell more
>>
>> Just take the highway code and burn half of it. Then remove all respect for other road users.
>

> I thought that was the standard way!
> New things every day!

FUCK OFF TROLL!!!

What the hell is the point in making replies go to another group which nobody here reads?

--

I limit my Political Correctness to voting.

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Peter Hucker

unread,
Sep 30, 2008, 2:30:32 PM9/30/08
to
On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:29:17 +0100, Hot Badger Deluxe <water...@spamcop.org> wrote:

> On Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:09:54 +0100, Owen Wilson wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
>> Owen.
>
> How much?
>
> And why did you set FU without announcing it?

FU are for trolls.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No...just put the bodder on the side.

Room Service: "Wad?"

Guest: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tenjewberrymuds."

Guest: "You're very welcome."

0 new messages