Postcards
The Traveller
read what's on it for the bloody awful writing but the pictures nice though
(Yust yoking Yune) I could read every word, cough !cough!
AND....................
Thank you for your postcard from Wales Ian. Lovely place. Have you ever
considered making animated films. You would be good.
See, some people send postcards to their friends Andrew.
Gosh, my head is splitting. Bet it's thundering again. Cyril get your ass
down here NOW and take me home and stop that hanky-panking with the girls in
the canteen.
I hate men.
Edith.
June Hughes
n...@frisurf.no> writes
>Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a nice Van Gogh card from June today, can't
>read what's on it for the bloody awful writing but the pictures nice though
>(Yust yoking Yune) I could read every word, cough !cough!
>
>AND....................
>
>Thank you for your postcard from Wales Ian. Lovely place. Have you ever
>considered making animated films. You would be good.
>
>See, some people send postcards to their friends Andrew.
>
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
"June Hughes" <juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:sNQGYVA$uvC6...@theacct.demon.co.uk...
Yes, that is very sad. Shall I distribute your address among us. Noooo?
Didn't think so.
Edith. ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
June Hughes
n...@frisurf.no> writes
>
>
> ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
>
>
does. I sympathise. Get well soon.
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
Thanks June, Friday morning and I'm almost well.Hope you are too. How is
your arm?
Edith.
Jacques Hankin
>In article <HxDO5.5194$ZL5.6...@juliett.dax.net>, The Traveller <edi-
>n...@frisurf.no> writes
>>
>>
>> ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
>>
>>
>Poor you, Edith. I have never suffered from that but a friend of mine
>does. I sympathise. Get well soon.
And lay off chocolate and cheese.
(the last could be difficult in Norway, where in my experience you
have it throughout the meal and even drop some in your coffee to make
it taste right).
J.
rita taylor
And then have a nice lie down where you can look out on the oak
trees and think of Cumbria!
--
rita in newcastle
Andrew Rawson
> Gosh, my head is splitting. Bet it's thundering again. Cyril get your
ass
> down here NOW and take me home and stop that hanky-panking with the
girls in
> the canteen.
>
> I hate men.
>
> Edith.
Edith, I have a fair bit of experience with headaches. I've met loads of
females with this problem. Does it generally happen late at night?
Usually a Friday or Saturday? If so, then it's very common indeed. I'm
not sure why it happens, but the best cure is to roll over to the very
edge of the bed, wrap yourself in all the sheets and the duvet, then in
the morning stealthily get out of bed, creep downstairs, and drive away
extremely quickly. Works every time I'm told. I have letters from girls
explaining to me why they did this, some from as far away as Australia!
My present girlfriend has also started to suffer, and is trying a
similar method of cure to all the others girls. Hope it works.
Andrew.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
The Traveller
"Andrew Rawson" <andrew...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:8ugoin$pb8$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
many sheets to cover a distance as far as Australia to Donegal is concerned.
Even Ghandi wouldn't have managed that one.
My headhakes come when thunder is in the air and when I am invited out by
blokes like you...wait for it...wait for it...Nspi.
Edith.
The Traveller
>
> Edith.
>
I haven't learned all those funny little words yet.........
spam, punt, spam, punt, spam, punt, bog, bog, bog, etc..etc..etc..
Edith.
Andrew Rawson
I haven't learned all those funny little words yet.........
spam, punt, spam, punt, spam, punt, bog, bog, bog, etc..etc..etc..
Edith.>
You were close tho'!!
Have a nice weekend Edith.
iane...@my-deja.com
Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Edith, I have a fair bit of experience with headaches. I've met loads
> of females with this problem. Does it generally happen late at night?
> Usually a Friday or Saturday? If so, then it's very common indeed. I'm
> not sure why it happens, but the best cure is to roll over to the very
> edge of the bed, wrap yourself in all the sheets and the duvet, then
> in
> the morning stealthily get out of bed, creep downstairs, and drive
> away extremely quickly.
Andrew this is a common occurence. It is actually a clear sign that
your girlfriend has "worn out". Time to dump her and get another. My
advice to you is to keep your present lady until about mid-December.
Then you can give her the heave-ho and get on with enjoying Christmas
with some good mates with the added bonus that you don't have all that
nonsense of buying Christmas presents for her.
When you pick up a new girl in the New Year make sure you treat it like
a car purchase. Would you buy a car if the MOT had only a few months to
run. Of course not. In the same way don't go saddling yourself with a
woman whose birthday is imminent. If it's a couple of months away, she
is going to expect an expensive present. If it is four or five months
away, she might even start hinting coyly that she wants a "friendship"
ring. This is nothing more than her crafty way of getting engaged by
the back door. Avoid at all costs. What you want is some sophisticated,
intelligent, warm, witty lady (preferably with big breasts and a
reasonable income) with an October birthday. That way you can spend the
year wearing her out, enjoy the summer with her and then deliver the
coup de grace in the Autumn. Leaving you free to fit in a quick no
nonsense fling before the next Christmas.
Yours romantically
Ian.
June Hughes
n...@frisurf.no> writes
>
>"June Hughes" <juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:MgeeziAE...@theacct.demon.co.uk...
>> In article <HxDO5.5194$ZL5.6...@juliett.dax.net>, The Traveller <edi-
>> n...@frisurf.no> writes
>> >
>> >
>> > ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
>> >
>> >
>> Poor you, Edith. I have never suffered from that but a friend of mine
>> does. I sympathise. Get well soon.
>> --
>> June Hughes
>
>Thanks June, Friday morning and I'm almost well.Hope you are too. How is
>your arm?
>
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
> In article <4eNO5.5331$ZL5.6...@juliett.dax.net>, The Traveller <edi-
> n...@frisurf.no> writes
> >
> >"June Hughes" <juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
> >news:MgeeziAE...@theacct.demon.co.uk...
> >> In article <HxDO5.5194$ZL5.6...@juliett.dax.net>, The Traveller <edi-
> >> n...@frisurf.no> writes
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
> >> >
> >> >
> >> Poor you, Edith. I have never suffered from that but a friend of mine
> >> does. I sympathise. Get well soon.
> >> --
> >> June Hughes
> >
> >Thanks June, Friday morning and I'm almost well.Hope you are too. How is
> >your arm?
> >
> --
> June Hughes
Gosh! You can't chow him off and you can't hit him. That's terrible June.
Edith.
The Traveller
> <Aww! Got it wrong. It should have been........Npi. Sorry Andy.
>
> I haven't learned all those funny little words yet.........
>
> spam, punt, spam, punt, spam, punt, bog, bog, bog, etc..etc..etc..
>
> Edith.>
>
> You were close tho'!!
>
> Have a nice weekend Edith.
>
> Andrew.
>
Edith.
Ally
|
|Edith. ( got anything in mind for migraine besides a rope June?)
|
I've heard that the only sure way to deal with migraines is to try an elimination diet, Edith. I'll not go into details unless you ask me to - you probably know all about it already!
Ally
iane...@my-deja.com
>
> I haven't learned all those funny little words yet.........
>
> spam, punt, spam, punt, spam, punt, bog, bog, bog, etc..etc..etc..
>
> Edith.
Bog off!
The Traveller
Leaving you free to fit in a quick no
> nonsense fling before the next Christmas.
>
> Yours romantically
>
> Ian.
>
Edith.
The Traveller
<iane...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:8ui3dm$uee$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> In article <wwTO5.5481$ZL5.6...@juliett.dax.net>,
> "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no> wrote:
> > .wait for it...wait for it...Nspi.
> > >
> > > Edith.
> > >
> > Aww! Got it wrong. It should have been........Npi. Sorry Andy.
> >
> > I haven't learned all those funny little words yet.........
> >
> > spam, punt, spam, punt, spam, punt, bog, bog, bog, etc..etc..etc..
> >
> > Edith.
>
> Bog off!
>
> Ian.
>
Edith.
The Traveller
"Ally" <ally.b...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:M__O5.2104$SI1....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
Ally
Please do go into detail Ally but to be sure, I won't have to eliminate my
head will I no no no, to be sure.?
Edith.
Andrew Rawson
your girlfriend has "worn out". Time to dump her and get another. My
advice to you is to keep your present lady until about mid-December.
Then you can give her the heave-ho and get on with enjoying Christmas
with some good mates with the added bonus that you don't have all that
nonsense of buying Christmas presents for her.
When you pick up a new girl in the New Year make sure you treat it like
a car purchase. Would you buy a car if the MOT had only a few months to
run. Of course not. In the same way don't go saddling yourself with a
woman whose birthday is imminent. If it's a couple of months away, she
is going to expect an expensive present. If it is four or five months
away, she might even start hinting coyly that she wants a "friendship"
ring.
This is nothing more than her crafty way of getting engaged by the back
door. Avoid at all costs. What you want is some sophisticated,
intelligent, warm, witty lady (preferably with big breasts and a
reasonable income) with an October birthday. That way you can spend the
year wearing her out, enjoy the summer with her and then deliver the
coup de grace in the Autumn. Leaving you free to fit in a quick no
nonsense fling before the next Christmas.
Yours romantically
Ian.>
Sound advice indeed, Ian. She has been hinting quite heavily for some
form of commitment, and I have clearly stated that I will happily marry
her as soon as she looks a bit more like Shania Twain. However, you
could be right, and it may well be the right time to trade up, she is
looking a little frayed around the edges, and I suspect that a new
younger version would be beneficial. The problem is you have to begin
re-training them all over again, which is an absolute pain, but this is
offset by the new, better condition, play equipment a younger girl would
bring to the relationship. I don't know. Do you stick with the tried and
tested current girl, or opt for a better equipped but more temperamental
new girl? I had the same trouble when I traded in my Mini for a Fiesta,
I remember.
Yours problematically, Andrew.
iane...@my-deja.com
Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Sound advice indeed, Ian. She has been hinting quite heavily for some
> form of commitment, and I have clearly stated that I will happily
> marry
> her as soon as she looks a bit more like Shania Twain. However, you
> could be right, and it may well be the right time to trade up, she is
> looking a little frayed around the edges, and I suspect that a new
> younger version would be beneficial. The problem is you have to begin
> re-training them all over again, which is an absolute pain, but this
> is offset by the new, better condition, play equipment a younger girl
> would bring to the relationship. I don't know. Do you stick with the
> tried and
> tested current girl, or opt for a better equipped but more
> temperamental
> new girl? I had the same trouble when I traded in my Mini for a
> Fiesta, I remember.
>
> Yours problematically, Andrew.
I would trade up if I were you. Sure. You are bound to have some
training problems but the key is to adopt a no nonsense approach from
day one. There is a lot of truth in that phrase "treat them mean to
keep them keen". If you err on the slightly overbearing side and take
the lead in a way that shows you will brook no dissent, you will be
making life so much easier for yourself. She will soon take it as read
that your ideas and preferences pave the way forward. It makes it
easier for her too, to know where she stands.
Over there by that full length mirror while I get the camcorder out is
usually the answer to that one if you play your cards right Andrew.
One absolute top tip. Keep a diary note of when you last said "I love
you". Try not to let more than 4 days elapse between vocalisations of
this phrase. It REALLY does make a difference. Several times recently I
have been asked by S if I really love her. And all I have to do is,
adopt a sincere tone (tricky bit), look her in the eyes and say that of
course.. I love you to bits. You should see here eyes shine!! It's
pathetic really, the way I dribble when she says she will showing me
how much she loves me later.
Yours jobbingly
Ian.
Andrew Rawson
training problems but the key is to adopt a no nonsense approach from
day one. There is a lot of truth in that phrase "treat them mean to keep
them keen". If you err on the slightly overbearing side and take the
lead in a way that shows you will brook no dissent, you will be making
life so much easier for yourself. She will soon take it as read that
your ideas and preferences pave the way forward. It makes it easier for
her too, to know where she stands.
Over there by that full length mirror while I get the camcorder out is
usually the answer to that one if you play your cards right Andrew.
One absolute top tip. Keep a diary note of when you last said "I love
you". Try not to let more than 4 days elapse between vocalisations of
this phrase. It REALLY does make a difference. Several times recently I
have been asked by S if I really love her. And all I have to do is,
adopt a sincere tone (tricky bit), look her in the eyes and say that of
course.. I love you to bits. You should see here eyes shine!! It's
pathetic really, the way I dribble when she says she will showing me how
much she loves me later.
Yours jobbingly
Ian.>
I'm a bit worried tho'. Will the new girl know how I like my bacon
cooked in the morning? Will she dress up in the stuff I buy her, even if
some of it wouldn't cover a Rabbit? At least my current one knows what I
like and this is almost adequate compensation for the gravitational pull
on her, that I have had to point out recently. I've taken note of your
'I love you' theory, but I'm pretty good at that, and am luckily able to
say it on the phone rather than in person most days, thereby bypassing
the annoying habit of having to look sincere.
Trouble is I'm quite used to the one I have, she's a bit like my
favourite socks. Living in a different Country though does offer the
opportunity of taking a younger girl on trial to see how I like it,
without upsetting my current relationship. This seems the ideal
solution, and would enable me to compare them both and opt for the best
one. In this way, if the trial version doesn't come up to scratch I can
revert to the old, tried, and tested one. However, if I prefer the
younger girl, I can get rid of the old shabby one, and install the new
version without having risked anything. I may have to go through several
trials however, before reaching an adequate conclusion.
I don't think women realise just what a hard time we men have in making
these sort of commitments Ian, the worry is terrible.
Yours worryingly, Andrew.
The Traveller
> <Andrew this is a common occurence. It is actually a clear sign that
> your girlfriend has "worn out". Time to dump her and get another. My
> advice to you is to keep your present lady until about mid-December.
> Then you can give her the heave-ho and get on with enjoying Christmas
> with some good mates with the added bonus that you don't have all that
> nonsense of buying Christmas presents for her.
>
> When you pick up a new girl in the New Year make sure you treat it like
> a car purchase. Would you buy a car if the MOT had only a few months to
> run. Of course not. In the same way don't go saddling yourself with a
> woman whose birthday is imminent. If it's a couple of months away, she
> is going to expect an expensive present. If it is four or five months
> away, she might even start hinting coyly that she wants a "friendship"
> ring.
> This is nothing more than her crafty way of getting engaged by the back
> door. Avoid at all costs. What you want is some sophisticated,
> intelligent, warm, witty lady (preferably with big breasts and a
> reasonable income) with an October birthday. That way you can spend the
> year wearing her out, enjoy the summer with her and then deliver the
> coup de grace in the Autumn. Leaving you free to fit in a quick no
> nonsense fling before the next Christmas.
>
> Yours romantically
>
> Ian.>
>
> form of commitment, and I have clearly stated that I will happily marry
> her as soon as she looks a bit more like Shania Twain. However, you
> could be right, and it may well be the right time to trade up, she is
> looking a little frayed around the edges, and I suspect that a new
> younger version would be beneficial. The problem is you have to begin
> re-training them all over again, which is an absolute pain, but this is
> offset by the new, better condition, play equipment a younger girl would
> bring to the relationship. I don't know. Do you stick with the tried and
> tested current girl, or opt for a better equipped but more temperamental
> new girl? I had the same trouble when I traded in my Mini for a Fiesta,
> I remember.
>
> Yours problematically, Andrew.
>
any chance you had of getting a new girl friend. Any woman would be frayed
around the edges after being driven around in your bread bin on wheels, not
to mention frayed nerves.
Too beanie for me. Sparkey you can have him. I'd rather have a Roman with
the nose and the horse.Much more macho.
Edith.
The Traveller
<iane...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:8umgos$1je$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> > form of commitment, and I have clearly stated that I will happily
> > marry
> > her as soon as she looks a bit more like Shania Twain. However, you
> > could be right, and it may well be the right time to trade up, she is
> > looking a little frayed around the edges, and I suspect that a new
> > younger version would be beneficial. The problem is you have to begin
> > re-training them all over again, which is an absolute pain, but this
> > is offset by the new, better condition, play equipment a younger girl
> > would bring to the relationship. I don't know. Do you stick with the
> > tried and
> > tested current girl, or opt for a better equipped but more
> > temperamental
> > new girl? I had the same trouble when I traded in my Mini for a
> > Fiesta, I remember.
> >
> > Yours problematically, Andrew.
>
> training problems but the key is to adopt a no nonsense approach from
> day one. There is a lot of truth in that phrase "treat them mean to
> keep them keen". If you err on the slightly overbearing side and take
> the lead in a way that shows you will brook no dissent, you will be
> making life so much easier for yourself. She will soon take it as read
> that your ideas and preferences pave the way forward. It makes it
> easier for her too, to know where she stands.
>
> Over there by that full length mirror while I get the camcorder out is
> usually the answer to that one if you play your cards right Andrew.
>
> One absolute top tip. Keep a diary note of when you last said "I love
> you". Try not to let more than 4 days elapse between vocalisations of
> this phrase. It REALLY does make a difference. Several times recently I
> have been asked by S if I really love her. And all I have to do is,
> adopt a sincere tone (tricky bit), look her in the eyes and say that of
> course.. I love you to bits. You should see here eyes shine!! It's
> pathetic really, the way I dribble when she says she will showing me
> how much she loves me later.
>
> Yours jobbingly
>
> Ian.
>
Bull! Edith.
Look! No echoes. Surprise....................
The Traveller
Stop worrying so much about yourself and tell me what a camcorder is Andrew.
Edith.
rita taylor
>new girl? I had the same trouble when I traded in my Mini for a Fiesta,
>I remember.
Have you thought of moving up a class or two (or five or six?) and
trying a smoother, more sound type.
--
rita in newcastle
rita taylor
>I don't think women realise just what a hard time we men have in making
>these sort of commitments Ian, the worry is terrible.
This has been a fascinating insight into the stressful life of the male.
I have saved them all and will eventually publish them (with the
appropriate acknowledgements) in a "Little Guide to Men" (or
arrange the words in any other order)
--
rita in newcastle
Andrew Rawson
< You are obviously looking at the wrong models here.
Have you thought of moving up a class or two (or five or six?) and
trying a smoother, more sound type.
--
rita in newcastle
>
To be honest Rita, I'm not all that choosy about girls, I'm at the stage
where the main quality I look for is a pulse.
I've never been out with a librarian though, and I suspect that behind
the dull, pseudo-intellectual exterior lies a raging ball of lustful
sexuality, possibly involving rubber. What do you think, Reet? Are
librarians super-sexy? The library here in Buncrana is having a Xmas
Coffee Evening which, dependant upon your answer, I may attend in the
hope of securing my first trial date, hopefully on a 'return if not
happy' basis. Can you recommend a suitable book that I could lend which
might impress the young librarian there? I fancy the Bernard Manning
biography.
Yours bookwormingly, Andrew.
The Traveller
could fart the French National anthem. It impressed me enormously. Infact I
almost shart meself.
Edith.
Andrew Rawson
that could fart the French National anthem. It
impressed me enormously. Infact I almost shart meself.
Edith.>
Fascinating. What hot blooded male couldn't be impressed by his female
companions ability to play a National Anthem with their rectum. It's a
well known fact that as soon as the German forces crossed the Siegried
Line during WW2, the entire French nation was alive to the sound of loud
bottom explosions, so it's no surprise that it was a Frenchman who could
skillfully use his to play a tune. In fact I suspect that the author had
just left a cheese shop that I visited a couple of years ago in Calais,
the smell was appalling. So, Edith, you think that when I go to this
young librarian and she stamps my book about French Farting Techniques,
she will swoon at the thought of dating someone so sophisticated? Should
I offer to demonstrate my armpit performance of Auld Lang Syne too, just
to be sure? How about my impression of Nellie The Hairy Elephant?
Thanks for the advice, but I'll pass......
Yours educationally, Andrew.
rita taylor
>Coffee Evening
librarians, whilst they may be pulsating bundles of lustfulness,
prefer paper to rubber. Rubber is associated with date stamps,
and you wouldn't like to have "Return by 28 Dec 2000" stamped
across your forehead would you.
Ask to borrow a copy of Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations",
or "The Millionaire's Guide on How to Spend Money". These
should attract a suitable sort of girl. Or perhaps a copy of Delia
Smith's "How to Cook for One"
--
rita in newcastle
Jacques Hankin
Noooooo, that will show him up as a sad loner; and we wouldn't want to
do that, would we?
J.
June Hughes
<andrew...@my-deja.com> writes
>I've never been out with a librarian though, and I suspect that behind
>the dull, pseudo-intellectual exterior lies a raging ball of lustful
>sexuality, possibly involving rubber. What do you think, Reet? Are
>librarians super-sexy? The library here in Buncrana is having a Xmas
>Coffee Evening which, dependant upon your answer, I may attend in the
>hope of securing my first trial date, hopefully on a 'return if not
>happy' basis. Can you recommend a suitable book that I could lend which
>might impress the young librarian there? I fancy the Bernard Manning
>biography.
>
girlfriend, who whisked you off to Turkey in the summer. Is she now an
ex-girlfriend?
Yours nosily.
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
one on me.If you had mentioned *Norman* the hairy elephant I would have
imagined all you had planed for your young librarian was to drop your
knicker-bokkers and send her into an immediate shock?
Andrew Rawson
girlfriend, who whisked you off to Turkey in the
summer. Is she now an ex-girlfriend?
Yours nosily.
--
June Hughes>
No not at all June, we are both still very much together, and she is
still the lovely, bright, and sexy girl that I've loved since the day I
met her. However, I thought it wise to line up a younger replacement so
that I am not stuck with her when she gets old.
Yours romantically, Andrew.
The Traveller
"rita taylor" <ri...@medlib.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:cl2SCJAO2$D6E...@medlib.demon.co.uk...
snip> Rubber is associated with date stamps,
> and you wouldn't like to have "Return by 28 Dec 2000" stamped
> across your forehead would you.
Stamped across his what??????????????
You are far too timid Rita dear. Surely the Cave-Man style would be better
suited for Andrew Rawson.
Edith.
> Ask to borrow a copy of Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations",
> or "The Millionaire's Guide on How to Spend Money". These
> should attract a suitable sort of girl. Or perhaps a copy of Delia
> Smith's "How to Cook for One"
> --
> rita in newcastle
Andrew Rawson
do that, would we?
J.>
Congratulations Jacques you win The Most Obviously Sarcastic Line Of The
Day competition. Perhaps, in line with your French sounding name, you
could give us a rendition of the National Anthem, and in an effort to
assist you I would take great pleasure in inserting a French Horn
forcibly up your bottom to provide some extra melody.
Yours musically, Andrew.
Kevin Tea
> What do you think, Reet? Are
> librarians super-sexy?
Certain North Country libraries have been known to rhyme book with a
certain Anglo Saxon word relating to sexual activity!
Regards
Kevin
Kevin Tea
> Can you recommend a suitable book that I could lend which
> might impress the young librarian there?
I would suggest Cunnilingus through The Ages. Providing she doesn't
think you are researching the national airline, as she stamps the book
you can tell her the length of your tongue and that you can breathe
through your ears.
You will either get (a) arrested or (b) a very happy librarian!
Regards
Kevin
Andrew Rawson
think you are researching the national airline, as she
stamps the book you can tell her the length of your tongue and that you
can breathe through your ears.
You will either get (a) arrested or (b) a very happy librarian!
Regards
Kevin>
Considering that the local priest has banned the film Dumbo from our
screens here in Buncrana due to his suggestive nose (Dumbo not the
priest), I would find it hard to believe that the book 'Cunnilingus
Through The Ages' would be available in the library, Kevin! If it is,
the text will have been subjected to severe censorship and is likely to
be re-listed as 'Cunning Angus Grew The Cabbages' a story about Scottish
gardening. Therefore, once again I will have to pass on this one.
Yours gratefully, Andrew.
PS: Never, ever, try to measure your tongue using a desk rule....I
almost choked!
iane...@my-deja.com
ke...@palmwork.plus.com wrote:
> Hi Andrew
>
> > Can you recommend a suitable book that I could lend which
> > might impress the young librarian there?
>
...er...... I have just searched amazon.com for that Kevin and I can't
seem to find it. Can I borrow your copy? As you seem to be the expert,
can you recommend a book along the lines of "Lose weight FAST with only
40 minutes of Fellatio EVERY day!".
Yours hopefully, Ian.
Andrew Rawson
seem to find it. Can I borrow your copy? As you seem to be the expert,
can you recommend a book along the lines of "Lose weight FAST with only
40 minutes of Fellatio EVERY day!".
Yours hopefully, Ian.>
Yep, you can always rely on Camper Boy to bring a thread to it's knees.
For a long time I thought Fellatio was a type of pasta shape, but it
isn't at all - sometimes life throws up some of the loveliest surprises.
Yours excitedly, Andrew.
Jacques Hankin
><Noooooo, that will show him up as a sad loner; and we wouldn't want to
>do that, would we?
>
> J.>
>
>Congratulations Jacques you win The Most Obviously Sarcastic Line Of The
>Day competition. Perhaps, in line with your French sounding name, you
>could give us a rendition of the National Anthem, and in an effort to
>assist you I would take great pleasure in inserting a French Horn
>forcibly up your bottom to provide some extra melody.
>
No need mon ami.
Don't you read anything carefully?
Le petomane was my great-great grandfather.
I come from a long line of farters.
(Anyway, I am hurt. "Obviously sarcastic" n'est pas mon style.
I am always subtle in the extreme.
J.
Ron Fitzpatrick
16:05:45 GMT, Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com>
wrote:
>
>PS: Never, ever, try to measure your tongue using a desk rule....I
>almost choked!
>
>
It not the size that matters it's whether you can lick the
tip of your nose...........darling.
--
Regards
Wrinkly Ron
If its email you want to send then iron out the wrinkly in the reply to address or click here ron...@btinternet.com
The Traveller
"Kevin Tea" <ke...@palmwork.plus.com> wrote in message
news:VA.0000007b.01294095@vale...
Edth.
The Traveller
> <I think I've missed something here, Andrew. Thought you already had a
> girlfriend, who whisked you off to Turkey in the
> summer. Is she now an ex-girlfriend?
>
>
> Yours nosily.
> --
> June Hughes>
>
> No not at all June, we are both still very much together, and she is
> still the lovely, bright, and sexy girl that I've loved since the day I
> met her. However, I thought it wise to line up a younger replacement so
> that I am not stuck with her when she gets old.
>
> Yours romantically, Andrew.
>
Looking forward to receiving your postcard.Edith
The Traveller
>
> Yours gratefully, Andrew.
>
> PS: Never, ever, try to measure your tongue using a desk rule....I
> almost choked!
>
Edith.
The Traveller
"Ron Fitzpatrick" <ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com> wrote in message
news:3a113e6b...@news.btinternet.com...
> In article <8up3gi$kn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, on Mon, 13 Nov 2000
> 16:05:45 GMT, Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com>
> wrote:
>
>
> >
> >almost choked!
> >
> >
>
The Traveller
"Ron Fitzpatrick" <ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com> wrote in message
news:3a113e6b...@news.btinternet.com...
> In article <8up3gi$kn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, on Mon, 13 Nov 2000
> 16:05:45 GMT, Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com>
> wrote:
>
>
> >
> >PS: Never, ever, try to measure your tongue using a desk rule....I
> >almost choked!
> >
> >
>
> It not the size that matters it's whether you can lick the
> tip of your nose...........darling.
>
> --
> Regards
> Wrinkly Ron
Somebody buy him a handkerchief for christmas.
Edith.
Jacques Hankin
><..er...... I have just searched amazon.com for that Kevin and I can't
>seem to find it. Can I borrow your copy? As you seem to be the expert,
>can you recommend a book along the lines of "Lose weight FAST with only
>40 minutes of Fellatio EVERY day!".
>
> Yours hopefully, Ian.>
>
>Yep, you can always rely on Camper Boy to bring a thread to it's knees.
>For a long time I thought Fellatio was a type of pasta shape, but it
>isn't at all - sometimes life throws up some of the loveliest surprises.
>
Yeah, I bet you were surprised when you found out it was a make of
ice-cream. I know I was.
J.
Bryan Flint
news:VA.0000007b.01294095@vale...
> Hi Andrew
>
> > What do you think, Reet? Are
> > librarians super-sexy?
>
> Certain North Country libraries have been known to rhyme book with a
> certain Anglo Saxon word relating to sexual activity!
>
>
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----
Kevin Tea
> As you seem to be the expert,
> can you recommend a book along the lines of "Lose weight FAST with only
> 40 minutes of Fellatio EVERY day!".
Sadly not by Joseph Heller's Snatch 22 is a god read and might take your
mind of things!
Regards
Kevin
Kevin Tea
> Cook?
Close - but no cigar!
Regards
Kevin
Kevin Tea
Talk about dyslexic fingers today!
By should read but
God is good, well not in my books as a born again atheist but you know
what I mean!
Of is off
Regards
Kevin
Jacques Hankin
>
>"Ron Fitzpatrick" <ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com> wrote in message
>news:3a113e6b...@news.btinternet.com...
>> In article <8up3gi$kn$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, on Mon, 13 Nov 2000
>> 16:05:45 GMT, Andrew Rawson <andrew...@my-deja.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>> >
>> >PS: Never, ever, try to measure your tongue using a desk rule....I
>> >almost choked!
>> >
>> >
>>
>> It not the size that matters it's whether you can lick the
>> tip of your nose...........darling.
>>
Never mind all that, who wanted him to measure his tongue.
I think we should be told.
J.
(Posting from Galway).
Andrew Rawson
>
> Never mind all that, who wanted him to measure his tongue.
>
> I think we should be told.
>
> J.
>
> (Posting from Galway).
>
>
< Never mind all that, who wanted him to measure his tongue.
I think we should be told.
J.
(Posting from Galway).>
Hey Jacques, your not far away! I would offer to invite you around to my
place for some pie, but unfortunately I've eaten it. It was a bit cold
here in Donegal last night, and I suspect it was too in Galway. If you
happen to be passing Buncrana, please feel free to pop into Fruit and
say hello, we can provide some excellent warm sweatshirts in various
colours including French Blue. We have a 'No Bottom Music' policy here,
so please do not suddenly perform a rendition in the foyer, the company
Cat is rather sensitive.
Drive safe - no one else does in Ireland......
The Traveller
>
>
> >
> > Never mind all that, who wanted him to measure his tongue.
> >
> > I think we should be told.
Kiss?
Evil Edith.
Jacques Hankin
> J.
>
> (Posting from Galway).>
>
>Hey Jacques, your not far away! I would offer to invite you around to my
>place for some pie, but unfortunately I've eaten it. It was a bit cold
>here in Donegal last night, and I suspect it was too in Galway. If you
>happen to be passing Buncrana, please feel free to pop into Fruit and
>say hello, we can provide some excellent warm sweatshirts in various
>colours including French Blue. We have a 'No Bottom Music' policy here,
>so please do not suddenly perform a rendition in the foyer, the company
>Cat is rather sensitive.
>
>Drive safe - no one else does in Ireland......
>
>Andrew.
>
You are telling me.
What is funny is the reaction as I pass them at 80 on a single
carriageway road.
I don't think it has ever been done in eire before.
Will take you up on your offer next time I am visiting Coleraine.
OK about the cat.
J.
rita taylor
>
>Edth.
So did I, Edith. Now I'm an "information and knowledge manager",
apparently.
--
rita in newcastle
The Traveller
"Jacques Hankin" <jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:2j451tc9f2sthc2mi...@4ax.com...
Jacques built his own little sports car, you know. I think it only natural
that he went to Ireland to try it out.
Edith.
Oh I do like to be beside the sea-side...........Oh I do lik
Edith. (still waiting for the pipe man/plumber and carpenter. MEN!)
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Traveller
Oh I'm not any of those, no nooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I can quite Knowledgeably
inform you on how many pennies make five.
Edith.
Jacques Hankin
>
>Jacques built his own little sports car, you know. I think it only natural
>that he went to Ireland to try it out.
>
>Edith.
>
"Little"? "LITTLE"?
This is the CREAM of sports cars!.
A national competition winner I'll have you know!
J.
(Watching Lock, stock etc on SKY at present.
Lost count of the F--- words..
Posting from Dundalk.
No bandits in my bedroom yet.)
The Traveller
> "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no> wrote:
>
> >
> >Jacques built his own little sports car, you know. I think it only
natural
> >that he went to Ireland to try it out.
> >
> >Edith.
> >
>
> "Little"? "LITTLE"?
>
> This is the CREAM of sports cars!.
>
> A national competition winner I'll have you know!
Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Duh! Phoo!
>
> J.
> (Watching Lock, stock etc on SKY at present.
> Lost count of the F--- words..
Isn't there only one?
>
> Posting from Dundalk.
Dunlop!
>
> No bandits in my bedroom yet.)
Ther will be before the night's out.
Edith.
The Traveller
"Ronnie" <r...@phenomena.idps.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3a13b891...@news.free-online.net...
> On Wed, 15 Nov 2000 15:21:38 GMT, "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no>
> wrote:
>
>
> Edith sang
>
> >Oh I do like to be beside the sea-side...........Oh I do lik
>
>
> >Edith. (still waiting for the pipe man/plumber and carpenter. MEN!)
> >Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >
> >
>
> Ron in sunny Morecambe
> Visit the Website
> Beside the Seaside
> Live entertainment in the Morecambe Bay area
> www.phenomena.free-online.co.uk
Sorry Ron without the wrinkles, I don't know who yer Dad is. Does he play
the bagpipes?
Edith.
Ron Fitzpatrick
Nov 2000 15:28:43 GMT, "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no>
wrote:
>
>Sorry Ron without the wrinkles, I don't know who yer Dad is. Does he play
>the bagpipes?
I used to play the piano accordian. Played in the royal
Albert Hall when I was thirteen.
The Traveller
> In article <L2TQ5.717$i71....@juliett.dax.net>, on Thu, 16
> Nov 2000 15:28:43 GMT, "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no>
> wrote:
>
>
> >
> >Sorry Ron without the wrinkles, I don't know who yer Dad is. Does he play
> >the bagpipes?
>
> I used to play the piano accordian. Played in the royal
> Albert Hall when I was thirteen.
>
>
> --
> Regards
> Wrinkly Ron
>
Edith.
Jacques Hankin
>In article <L2TQ5.717$i71....@juliett.dax.net>, on Thu, 16
>Nov 2000 15:28:43 GMT, "The Traveller" <edi...@frisurf.no>
>wrote:
>
>
>>
>>Sorry Ron without the wrinkles, I don't know who yer Dad is. Does he play
>>the bagpipes?
>
>I used to play the piano accordian. Played in the royal
>Albert Hall when I was thirteen.
Ah yes, I read about it.
Armistice Day 1918, wasn't it?
J.
June Hughes
<jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> writes
>
>
>Ah yes, I read about it.
>
>Armistice Day 1918, wasn't it?
>
--
June Hughes
Jacques Hankin
June Hughes
<jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> writes
>June Hughes <juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>In article <2jd81t4ckcessnrui...@4ax.com>, Jacques Hankin
>><jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> writes
>>>
>>>
>>>Ah yes, I read about it.
>>>
>>>Armistice Day 1918, wasn't it?
>>>
>>Didn't realise you were that old, Jacques.
>:-)
>I meant in a history book, not a newspaper.
>
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
> June Hughes <juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >In article <2jd81t4ckcessnrui...@4ax.com>, Jacques Hankin
> ><jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> writes
> >>
> >>
> >>Ah yes, I read about it.
> >>
> >>Armistice Day 1918, wasn't it?
> >>
> >Didn't realise you were that old, Jacques.
> :-)
> I meant in a history book, not a newspaper.
>
>
The one he wiped his backside with when toilet paper was rashioned - under
the black outs and after years.
Edith.
Ron Fitzpatrick
17 Nov 2000 10:22:14 +0000, June Hughes
<juneh...@theacct.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <2jd81t4ckcessnrui...@4ax.com>, Jacques Hankin
><jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> writes
>>
>>
>>Ah yes, I read about it.
>>
>>Armistice Day 1918, wasn't it?
>>
>Didn't realise you were that old, Jacques.
Wee done June you just beat me to it.
iane...@my-deja.com
ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com wrote:
>
> Wee done June you just beat me to it.
>
> --
> Regards
> Wrinkly Ron
>
Kindly keep your toiletery movements to yourself.
Yours Kenneth Williamsly, Ian.
ps. off for a dump,,,back soon.
Ron Fitzpatrick
2000 20:49:25 GMT, iane...@my-deja.com wrote:
>In article <3a167c12...@news.btinternet.com>,
> ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com wrote:
>
>>
>> Wee done June you just beat me to it.
>>
>> --
>> Regards
>> Wrinkly Ron
>>
>
>Kindly keep your toiletery movements to yourself.
>
I cannot believe that I made that typo..
Anyway I don't keep them to myself I flush them away. Am I
to infer that you do something entirely different.
Sleepalot
>In article <8v6q0k$2er$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, on Sat, 18 Nov
>2000 20:49:25 GMT, iane...@my-deja.com wrote:
>
>>In article <3a167c12...@news.btinternet.com>,
>> ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Wee done June you just beat me to it.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Regards
>>> Wrinkly Ron
>>>
>>
>>Kindly keep your toiletery movements to yourself.
>>
>
>I cannot believe that I made that typo..
>
>Anyway I don't keep them to myself I flush them away. Am I
>to infer that you do something entirely different.
That would give "keeping a log of his movements" a
whole new meaning !
--
Sleepalot aa #1385 For email, cut the string.
The Traveller
"Sleepalot" <sle...@carlisle98.freeserve.stringco.uk> wrote in message
news:5lrg1tgg9aj0kmdni...@4ax.com...
What a theme for a discussion. It's worse than Ian's toilet brush.
Edith.