Newbie
Sue Simpson
living away for years. Although GOBS (Grange-over-bloody-sands) isn't
quite as close to home as I expected it to be. God forsaken place.
Anyway I'm hoping to move back to Dalton or Ulverston in the near
future. I spent most of my informative years in Ulverston. My family
Owned the Grapes hotel for a while when it was the Grapes first time
round, and I went to ST. Mary's primary school.
Anyway bit of background so you know whether to welcome or chase with
a stiff brush.
I'm 36 single, with two lads sixteen and seven. I'm an Occupational
Therapist working until recently on a secure unit with the mentally
ill. After Divorce I decided to come home. I'm now working as a
picture maker and writing a book. I know my spelling, grammar and
punctuation stink, thank god I have my imagination and a good editor
to fall back on. It's great to find a local NG. Hope I can make you
lot, like me enough to invite me to stay.
I Did wipe my feet on the way in, and promise not to pick my nose or
in any other way disgrace myself.
Thanks
Sooz
Nigel Wilcox
Sue Simpson
maybe if we sit at the back, and make at least some effort not to be
too disruptive, we might be ok.
Sooz
Nigel Wilcox wrote in message <81uml1$ih6$1...@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk>...
Ian Zirins
<sooz...@virgin.net> pressed a few keys as follows:
Well a big hearty welcome form u.l.c and its band of reprobates
(present company excepted of course). You'll find us friendly
unopinionated and generally a good bunch of chaps and chapesses
...Ian...
remove NOSPAM if replying by Email
Graham Fell
Traveller (only posts 548 posts per day) is Edith from Norway but
orig. from 'ere. I am so pleased that you don't pick your nose - only
bottom scatching is allowed in this group and even then only behind
the kitchen door, please.
I'm in GSK (Gorgeous Sunny Kendal) but you don't want to hear my
problems - Oh Yes you do ! Oh No you don't.
Yes - its that time of the year again - and I could ramble on for
ages.
Graham
Tony Kenny
I'm Tony. usually to be found in the vicinity of a computer or a kayak.
I've yet to get myself an on-board 'puter on my kayak though... (the boss
would be happier:) :)
I'm 24 (YES I am!!) and also live in Sunny Kendal but visit Furness
regularly where my girlfriend resides (for now).
I do hope we'll see you at the Xmas u.l.c gathering. Provisional
arrangements are for us to meet in the Kendal Arms, Kendal. But, some
people want to meet mid-way, like Wynrose pass or somewhere..
Well, pleased to meet you
Tony
PS. Watch out for Frank.....
Graham Fell <gf...@globalnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:384501d2...@read.news.global.net.uk...
The Traveller
How is, are you.
Edith.
The Traveller
I didn't bother anywun.
But then I heard this awful shout
And me mother gave me such a clout.
Not fare ses I, I didn't lie,
just picked me nose and scratched me bum
And found it to be lots of fun.
Edith.
Russell W. Barnes
With the same finger?
RWB
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
Russell W. Barnes
Russell W. Barnes
Russell W. B.
(I didn't start them, either..... 8-)
Sue Simpson
Sooz
Ian Zirins wrote in message <3842cbe2...@news.freeserve.net>...
Sue Simpson
Nice to meet you. Being fairly new to Ng's and not being overly
impressed with some of the nastiness in some of them, This seems to be
a happy bunch of people. I like happy people. Thanks again
Sooz
Graham Fell wrote in message
<384501d2...@read.news.global.net.uk>...
June Hughes
<sooz...@virgin.net> writes
>Hello I'm Sue pleased to meet you. I have recently come 'home' after
snip
welcome, Sue.
--
June Hughes
The Traveller
> >>ill. > >>
Hum. That's just what we need on this group.
Welcome to The nut house.It's all Alastair's fault.
Heeelllllllppppppp!That is if it isn't too late.
Edith, running for the nearest door with a bolt on.
The Traveller
No, not with the same fingure you horrible person. Some times I count to 5
and then change. I'm a propper girl I am.
Edith.
The Traveller
> a happy bunch of people. I like happy people. Thanks again
> Sooz
Hello Sue,
You'll be needing a bit off hapiness after your divorce so you've come too
the right place. We all have our ups and downs here too ofcourse but it
helps to share them a little sometimes and just getting it off one's chest
helps.
I don't know what I would do without these guys. We can really have a laugh
together. Sometimes I just about fall off my chair laughing.
Edith.
Sue Simpson
Kayak, so that we'll all help you paddle
Sooz
Tony Kenny wrote in message <81v33g$kbb$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>Hey Sue, and of course Nigel,
>
>I'm Tony. usually to be found in the vicinity of a computer or a
kayak.
>I've yet to get myself an on-board 'puter on my kayak though... (the
boss
>would be happier:) :)
>
>I'm 24 (YES I am!!) and also live in Sunny Kendal but visit Furness
>regularly where my girlfriend resides (for now).
>
>I do hope we'll see you at the Xmas u.l.c gathering. Provisional
>arrangements are for us to meet in the Kendal Arms, Kendal. But,
some
>people want to meet mid-way, like Wynrose pass or somewhere..
>
>Well, pleased to meet you
>
>Tony
>PS. Watch out for Frank.....
>
>
>Graham Fell <gf...@globalnet.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:384501d2...@read.news.global.net.uk...
Sue Simpson
More than happy to join the ranks
Of the pleasant folk residing thus
Just one thing I couldn't suss
I've hunted near, I've hunted far,
But where the heck to I find the bar?
Good to met you
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message
<5kE04.4508$Zc3.2...@juliett.dax.net>...
Sue Simpson
I'm a class act lady, Who? Yeah me.
I eat cucumber butties and drink iced tea.
I do not scratch and pick, not me
Still you do seem enrapt now,
perhaps you might just teach me how.
Blow some kisses here they come
scrounge food and sctatch your bum
Look at that kid banging the glass
Quick Edith show `em your ass
A nice enclosure with penthouse view
I like being a chimp at Chester zoo
The Traveller wrote in message ...
>I picked me nose and scratched me bum
Sue Simpson
Sooz
Russell W. Barnes wrote in message
<0a288596...@usw-ex0101-001.remarq.com>...
The Traveller
You'll find the Bar on the other corner.
Edith.
The Traveller
> >regularly where my girlfriend resides (for now).
Huh! Which girlfriend? I thought that was me???? Sob,swear,sob.Swear swear.
That's funny. I thought he was married, with two kids, a dog , a cat, a
goldfish, a budgerigar, a mother- in- law and a little bit on the side.I'll
just have to stay off the pink gins.All those bottle confuse me.
Edith.
The Traveller
I am quite posh like
Just like you.
Might pick me nose
or scratch me bum
But I never bother anywun
At heart I'm just a nice old lass
And I've never ever show me ass.
(That is, until the light's turned off. hihihi Edith.)
Sue Simpson <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:820fdn$692$1...@nclient11-gui.server.virgin.net...
Sue Simpson
bar is always in the other one.
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
ten, when you get to one you will tell me all your inner most secrets
and desires. Let's start with an easy one eh ... er. .. bank account
details. Trust me it's Therapy.
Well I'll feel a whole lot better
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message <3OO04.68$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
Sue Simpson
Sue Simpson
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
Sooz
June Hughes wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
first draft) five down/five to go. zipppedy do dah
The Traveller
or is it all shush shush?
Go on, tell us just a little bit.
Edith.
Russell W. Barnes
His underpants fit like a glove!!!!
Russell W. B.
(sorry....)
The Traveller
knitting.
You are a bit of a devil aren't you Russel. I'll have to clout your ear a
time or two to get youto behave yourself.
No, I wouldn't do that Edith.
Sue Simpson
me, I normally write very dark and broody stuff, give me a good
psychopath and I'm a happy girl. This is light and hopefully funny, a
bit magic and a bit slap stick and so far it's been fun to write.
hoping to have it finished by Christmas.
Incidentally I'm desperate for someone to critique it for me, so If
anyone like's a read before bed time, I'd be most grateful?
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
The Traveller
We'll probably all do our best to tear you to pieces.
But don't worry,-we'll try to put them all back again.
I can't speak for the others but I'll peep in once in a while, if you send a
little at a time. I'm no expert.
Edith.
Sue Simpson
of all my naked errors showing up to be pointed at by all. Well here
you go chapter one coming right up. Please all honest opinions
gratefully received, I can live with "Rubbish" it just means a lot of
re-writing and me working a lot harder than I have been :-)
Thanks all
Chapter 1 Lizards Leap
There was an air of excitement that popped along with the
Rice-Crispies at breakfast that morning. It was the long awaited
Saturday, which had captured the children’s imagination and creativity
for weeks. It was the day of the school’s summer fair. The children
had been making and baking, collecting and selecting, painting and
sticking and all manner of other fair related activities for weeks.
Finally, the bright, sunny second Saturday in June had arrived, and
they would be going with their mothers to St. Mary’s Junior School
summer fair.
That morning just like every other morning the brother and sister were
arguing. Mrs. Forest was busying herself with a batch of hot biscuits
that she had just taken from the oven. The smell of the warm fresh
treats spread through the house. It was tempting and delicious. Mark
and Vicki were given one each and munched happily.
Victoria Anne Forest was the eldest of the four children. At twelve
years old, her greatest passion in life was ‘boy bands’. She knew
everything there was to know about ‘Get This’ and ‘The Herb Boyz’ and
countless others. Her bedroom walls were adorned with bright posters
of her heroes, all with dazzling white teeth and big cheesy grins.
Nobody would ever have been unkind enough to call her daft, but ‘ditzy
’ and ‘scatterbrained’ were two words that fit her as snugly as her
leopard-print leggings. Ever the chatterbox she always had a lot to
say. Sometimes some of it even made sense.
Mark Forest, was Vicki’s brother, he was eight.
Mark was clumsy. He regularly fell over his feet, he fell over other
people’s feet, and he even fell over invisible feet. He walked into
things, dropped things, broke things, lost things, stood on things,
forgot things, stubbed his toe, skinned his shin, banged his head, cut
his hand, and grazed his knee - daily. Mark was a walking disaster, a
public liability, and a pest. He was also loud. Mark saw no sense in
talking to someone quietly. If he shouted, then he could reach a much
wider audience, and possibly annoy ten people instead of one. He
called it “value for oxygen.”
“Mu-um,” Vicki moaned in her usual two-tone whine, “Mark said Luke
Dross is rubbish.”
“Did he, love?” sympathised Mrs Forest. “Well,” she said in mock
seriousness, “he can’t look good and be clever, now can he?” Mrs
Forest smiled to herself as she turned away from her daughter.
Mark was ecstatic with this minor triumph over his sister and wasted
no time in beginning his victory chant; “Luke Dross is stupid. Luke
Dross is stupid. And even mum thinks so.”
Vicki had heard quite enough and jumped up from the table, preparing
to stomp off in her usual huffy manner. How dare they insult the
Godlike Luke Dross?
“Er, just one minute young lady. Where do you think you are going? I
did not hear you excuse yourself from the table, and those dishes aren
’t going to rise up and float into the dishwasher you know.”
Vicki turned to the table and sat back down. “Sorry mum, may I be
excused please?” She managed this with good grace so her mum nodded
that she was excused and smiled at her daughter. The children set
about clearing the table, bickering over whose iced buns were the most
artistic.
In a similar kitchen three streets away, much the same morning rituals
were taking place. This was the home of Emma and Kerry Taylor. Mrs.
Forest was Mr. Taylor’s sister. This made Vicki, Mark, Emma and Kerry
cousins, and the four children were best friends. Mrs Taylor was icing
a huge chocolate cake. It looked almost too good to eat, but given
half the chance neither Emma nor Kerry would care about that. The
girls were very excited about the school fair, and chatted ten to the
dozen as they watched their mother. It was going to be a wonderful
day.
Emma was the eldest of the two sisters. She was ten and a very
important three-quarters. It has to be said that Emma had attitude,
and yet almost in contradiction to this, she was a shy girl, and was
the least self-assured of the four children. If someone she did not
feel comfortable with spoke to her, she hung her head and mumbled
incoherently into her cardigan. But, get the same girl on her own
terms and she was a natural comedian. Emma was the one with the off
the cuff, quick as a flash, witty replies. She had an answer for
everything, and could be more sarcastic than most adults three times
her age. Emma was the clown of the four, always playing practical
jokes on the others, always looking for the funny side of any
situation.
Kerry was Emma’s younger sister by two years. She was eight, and
younger than Mark by just a week, the baby of the four. Yet in some
ways Kerry could be mistaken as the eldest. She was the most
determined of the children, and often got her own way
St Mary’s summer fair was in full swing. The four cousins had opted to
take the first turn on the stalls. Vicki no longer attended St. Mary’s
school, having moved the September before last to a secondary school,
but she was still allowed to take a turn with Emma running the Tombola
stall. She was always getting into trouble when she had been a pupil
at St. Mary’s. Like for instance the time when Miss Jameson had told
her off for humming in the middle of a history lesson. At playtime
Vicki had been talking to some of the girls. She had them all bent
over laughing as she did an impression of Miss Jameson. Vicki said
that her teacher “had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.” The girls
had gone suddenly quiet so to try and get another laugh Vicki just
mentioned that the elderly teacher could “do with a personality
transplant.” The girls looked at their feet and shuffled. Vicki didn’t
understand this so she tried another joke at the teacher’s expense.
“Miss Jameson is such an old bag that you could put your shopping in
her,” she had said, before following the gaze of one of the girls and
seeing none other than the dreaded Miss Jameson standing behind her.
The two had never got along well.
Mark and Kerry had been in charge of the White Elephant stall. Mark
was upset because in all the junk they had sold there was not one
single white elephant; well, to be more specific there had not been
any elephants at all, white or otherwise. Kerry had told him not to
use the word ‘junk’ in front of the customers. She used a little
creativity and called the chipped ornaments and battered books ‘finest
antiques from the Jurassic era’ which meant junk from way back, when
the dinosaurs still walked the earth.
Now the children having finished their stints as stallholders had
been relieved of their duties, and were free to wander round and spend
their pocket money.
“Oh look”, said Vicki, pointing excitedly at the bric-a-brac stall.
“It’s a poster of The Big Wet Wusses. I have got to get it before
Sharon Laisonby gets to it, otherwise she’ll brag all next week. If I
can get there first she’ll be green with envy, and I can brag better
than she can.” With that Vicki flew across the hall, dragging Kerry
behind her. Emma and Mark rolled their eyes at each other and moved
onto the cake stall, hoping to buy four of Mrs Forest’s chocolate chip
cookies if they hadn’t all sold out.
“I got it! I got it!” Vicki came back after just a couple of minutes;
she charged across the room. Her cheeks were slightly red with
excitement and her eyes shone. She waved the poster of the latest
chart topping boy band over her head.
She was running too fast and crashed into Miss. Jameson as the class
three teacher chose that precise moment to come round the corner.
Vicki nearly bonked her on the head with the poster as she went past.
“Oops, sorry Miss didn’t see you there” muttered Vicki, colouring an
even deeper red.
Mark sniggered into his hands. “Vicki’s for it now” he thought.
Miss Jameson looked as sour as usual, even amidst the excitement of
the summer fair.
“Victoria Forest. I see the new school has not begun to make a young
lady of you yet. Please try not to do anybody any serious harm with
that… that… what is that anyway?”
“It’s a poster of the Big Wet Wusses, Miss. They are at number one in
the charts.”
Miss Jameson took the poster from Vicki’s hands. Vicki held her
breath. “What if the old battleaxe rips it up? I wouldn’t put it past
her”, she thought to herself, praying silently that the precious sheet
with the glossy picture of the five young men would survive the
scrutiny.
Miss Jameson unrolled the poster slowly and deliberately. She looked
at it for a long time. It showed Tommy Knocker the lead singer with
his shirt off, and he was baring his entire chest. Vicki had a bad
feeling about this. “If she doesn’t rip it up, she’s bound to
confiscate it.” Vicki began to hop from one foot to the other. “If she
rips it, Sharon Laisonby will never believe that I ever had the
poster.” Vicki began to fret as Miss Jameson peered intently at the
picture of the young men. She finally finished looking at the poster
over her half moon glasses. She rolled the picture back up with care,
and then she did the most extraordinary thing any of them have ever
seen her do. She began to sing in a very gruff voice that was very
nearly, but not quite, in tune. This woman was no Tommy knocker, but
it was his number one song all right.
“If you’re gonna hurt me. Don’t hurt me. Love me good. Yeah baby.
If you’re gonna love me. Just love me. Don’t cover me in mud. Yeah
Baby.”
Miss Jameson accompanied this rendition of ‘Love Me’ by bending her
knees and wriggling her bottom. She moved her arms in front of her,
and looked rather like a strange train chugging towards them. The four
children were astonished, and stared at the elderly teacher with open
mouths. Miss Jameson winked at them, and said “Good day children” very
formally, before walking off.
The cousins looked at each other, each mirroring the open mouth of the
one beside them. Suddenly they all burst into gales of laughter. Miss
Jameson who was at the other side of the room by this time must have
heard them, because she bent her knees and gave one more bottom wiggle
before disappearing out of the door. Vicki watched her old teacher
leave with a very new level of respect for the lady.
The children wandered from stall to stall, haggling over some little
trinket or ‘must have’ article that life simply couldn’t continue
without. They munched on biscuits, and then joined their mothers who
were having coffee in the school’s cafeteria. The children had some
orange juice and yet more biscuits. Mrs Taylor was expecting a baby
and looked very uncomfortable. The little one was due just before
Christmas and would be a new brother or sister for Emma and Kerry.
They both wanted it to be a boy, and fought constantly over who would
change his nappy and bath him first. Mrs. Taylor smiled at the thought
of her sensitive children changing a soiled nappy.
The Taylors and the Forests are a close extended family. The two
mothers are not only sisters-in-law but also best friends and the
children have all been brought up together. The hub of the family is
the big house on the hill where the children’s grandparents live. All
the family gatherings occur there. Normally at the weekend the four
children stayed at their Nanna and Granddad’s, going back after tea on
Sunday. They have their own bedrooms. Mark and Kerry share one room
because they are the youngest, and Vicki and Emma share the other.
They always have a lot of fun at their Grandparents house and were
going back there for a big family meal after the fair that day.
Soon the cousins were bored sitting at the table and still had some
money in their pocket that was screaming out at them “Spend me. Spend
me. Spend me.” Vicki and Mark had spent most of theirs, but Emma and
Kerry had not spent much at all. This was the way it was on pocket
money day. Mark would go straight to the sweet shop to spend his
pocket money. It was always gone with nothing to show for it very
quickly. Vicki was just as quick to spend hers, but it would be spent
on posters, and magazines. Emma would spend some of her money on one
magazine or one packet of sweets and save the rest for through the
week. Kerry would save all her pocket money in her raptor moneybox,
only taking it out when she had something really special to spend it
on. That day she had grudgingly taken two pounds out, leaving her with
thirty-six pounds eighty-seven pence.
They were having a go on some of the side stalls. Emma won a bottle of
apple and lemongrass bubble bath, and Mark won a knitted doll toilet
roll holder that he was less than pleased about. Vicki was sulking
because she only had twenty pence left and she hadn’t won anything at
all.
“Well Vicki,” said Emma, “it could be worse. You might have won that
awful toilet roll holder that Mark got.” Now it was Mark’s turn to
sulk.
It was then that Kerry saw it. All day people had been coming with
bags and boxes, stalls were constantly being added to as people
donated their old ‘what-nots’ and stallholders would occasionally
bring something up from the floor behind them. They had all been
instructed to keep some of the better things back to add to the stalls
as the day progressed. This meant that all the best items wouldn’t be
sold within the first five minutes, leaving nothing of interest for
the rest of the day.
On the White Elephant stall Mrs. Poole the reception class teacher had
just finished sorting a box full of bits and pieces and displaying
them to their best advantage on the stall. Kerry saw the picture of
the Statue of Liberty from across the room, but it didn’t interest her
in the slightest. What did make her gasp in wonder was the frame that
housed the picture. It was beautiful. She made a beeline for the
stall, and plucked up the picture as though it was a rare treasure
that she had found.
The twelve- by fourteen-inch frame looked very old. It had a broad
section a full four-inches wide. It was a solid rosewood frame,
intricately carved with flowers and vines. But what made Kerry crave
this frame, what made her want it in a way that nothing else in the
entire fair had inspired her, were the two carved lizards that climbed
up the sides of the frame. The six-inch Sand Lizards were carved from
the bulk of the frame. They were intricate in their detail, and looked
very realistic. Kerry ran her fingers over each of the lizards
lovingly. Like Vicki with the poster earlier, Kerry had to have this
frame.
“Hello Mrs. Poole. How much is this picture please?”
“Isn’t it a beautiful picture Kerry? It’s the Statue of Liberty you
know? How does two pounds grab you?”
Kerry’s face fell. She looked down with something akin to loathing at
the purchases she had already made. A stuffed rabbit with a loose eye,
a game of Mastermind which may or may not have all the pieces intact,
and a book on ancient Egypt. She had been pleased with the book, and
was looking forward to reading it, but the other items had been bought
just for the sake of having bought something. She neither liked them
nor wanted them, and now it seemed they would cost her the beautiful
picture frame. Kerry reached into her purse and took out the money
remaining. She had just eighty-two pence.
“Hey Kerry” Shouted Mark as he appeared at her side, startling her and
almost making her drop the last of her money. “Wazz-up?”
“Mark. Oh Mark, I’m glad to see you” said Kerry. “Have you got any
money left?”
Mark looked at his cousin with suspicion. She had just said two very
worrying things. The first was that she was glad to see him. People
were not usually glad to see Mark, and if they were, they never told
him so. And secondly she had asked him if he had any money left. Now
Mark wasn’t the brightest child in the entire solar system, but he
knew that when Kerry asked if he had any money left it was going to
mean trouble.
“Might have. Dunno.”
“Well look stupid”, Kerry snapped at him.
“Oh well, if you’re gonna start shoutin` at me I’m going to take my
money and buy a cake or somefink.”
Now Kerry knew better than to lose her temper and start shouting at
Mark, it wouldn’t do any good. So she set her features into what she
hoped was her sweetest smile.
Mark checked his flies. He didn’t like this game. He didn’t understand
the rules. Kerry was smiling at him. His flies weren’t down so she
wasn’t smiling at him because she was going to tease him. She must be
smiling at him because she wanted something. Mark was ready to say
goodbye to the last of his pocket money. He knew it was no good trying
to argue with Kerry. She was smarter than him, and would just make him
feel guilty until he handed it over anyway.
“I’ve got thirty-six pence left. I was saving it for when they sell
off all the left-over cakes cheap at the end of the fair, but you can
have it if you like.”
Kerry was not above using her determination to get her own way, but
she was also a child with a fair sense of justice. She knew that for
Mark to give her the last of his money was a pretty big sacrifice.
“Oh thank you Mark. Tell you what, I’ll swap you your thirty-six pence
now for a pound when we get home.”
Kerry now had one pound eighteen. She was still clutching the picture
possessively. Vicki and Emma had ambled over at some point throughout
this exchange.
“How much do you need Kez?” asked Vicki. “I’ve still got twenty pence
that you can have, as long as you give me it back later. There’s
nothing else I want here anyway.”
“Thank you Vicki, that means I’ve got one pound thirty-eight pence. I’
m still sixty-two pence short. Can you help me please Emma?”
“Nope!” Emma had her ‘I possibly could help, but don’t see why I
should’ head on.
“Oh Emma please, I’m desperate. I really, really want this frame.
Please Emma, don’t be selfish.”
“Well I don’t want to buy a bit of a rotten old picture of the rotten
Statue of Liberty, and anyway last time I wanted to borrow ten pence
off you, you said no. So now I’m saying NO.”
This was very true. Kerry had not been keen to lend her sister some of
her money. Now she felt sorry. Another point about Emma was her
‘elephant’s’ memory. They say an elephant never forgets. Well if
somebody does something against Emma, she doesn’t forget it in a
hurry. She had been sitting on this grievance for a long time and this
was her moment of glory.
“Maybe I will lend you the money, but it’ll cost you.”
Kerry was getting desperate. “Anything, just tell me what you want.”
“Five pounds please.” Emma stuck her chin out in a stance of defiance.
“Whoa”, said Mark. “Cool.”
“Aww Emma that’s nasty, don’t be mean” Vicki cut in.
Kerry had a brainwave. “I’ll tell you what. As I’m already giving Mark
a pound, I’ll give you and Vicki a pound each too. Providing you let
me have the sixty-two pence please Emma”
“Deal” said Emma emphatically. She wasn’t a greedy girl. She had just
wanted to teach Kerry a lesson.
Emma emptied her purse into her hand and began to count out the
sixty-two pence. Kerry’s face fell when disaster struck. Emma only had
fifty pence left. This meant that with all of them coppering up every
penny they had, Kerry was still twelve pence short of being able to
buy the beautiful carved frame. Their mothers had left some time ago,
arranging to come back for the children later, so she couldn’t ask
them. There was nothing else to be done.
Kerry felt tears stinging her eyes as she replaced the picture on the
front of the stall. Mrs.Poole came back over.
“Changed your mind Kerry?”
“Yes Miss.”
“Oh that’s a shame, it’s a beautiful picture.”
“Yes Miss.”
“Have you gone of it now?”
“No Miss. Haven’t got enough money Miss.”
“O-oh I see” said Mrs. Poole. “Well how much have you got?”
“One pound eighty-eight Miss.”
“Well you know, now that I look at it again, it does look a bit dirty.
I don’t think it’s worth two pounds after all. I think I’d be glad if
I got one pound eighty-eight for it. So it’s yours if you want it
Kerry.”
Kerry’s face lit up like a tree at Christmas. She was delighted, and
walked away with the picture in a large carrier bag. She felt like a
big game hunter who had just shot the biggest lion on the safari. She
couldn’t wait to get home and clean the frame up. Her mind was racing
with what she would actually put in it to replace the Statue of
Liberty print that didn’t do it justice. She was ecstatic as she
walked across the hall with the frame clutched tightly to her chest.
Suddenly Kerry’s step faltered and she stopped in the middle of the
hall. A strange looking lady, standing by the door, was staring at
her. The others had carried on walking, and Kerry looked round to see
if there was someone else near her who the lady could be staring at so
intently, but no, it was definitely her. She felt uncomfortable and a
little scared.
The lady did look very odd. She was quite old, sort of bent over, and
yet at the same time there was something about her that didn’t look
old at all. She was a large lady, not very tall, but quite round. She
had grey hair that was pulled into a bun at the back of her neck, but
little wisps of hair had come loose and were falling over her face.
She looked as though she had probably started the day tidy and smart,
but as the day had worn on she had begun to come apart a bit. On the
top of her head was a floppy black hat that looked too small for her.
Perhaps it had slipped a bit, or maybe she had put it on at an odd
angle that made her look rather comical. Her clothes were strange too.
She wore a purple skirt that was so long it brushed the floor. It had
little silver beads around the hem. The toes of scuffed, black boots
just stuck out from underneath her skirt. On her top half, she had a
long flowing tunic in purple and dark red. Round her neck was a bright
orange silk scarf, which circled her throat several times and still
trailed almost to her middle on both sides. Kerry had never seen
anyone who looked quite that colourful or mis-matched before. What
really caught Kerry’s attention though were the lady’s eyes. She
stared straight at Kerry, and as much as she wanted to, Kerry found
that she could not look away. The lady’s eyes fixed Kerry with the
most piercing stare she had ever encountered. She looked down and her
arms were covered in goose pimples. She shivered; the lady was scaring
her.
Vicki came bounding back across the hall and linked her arm though
Kerry’s.
“Come on slow-coach. What did you stop for?”
Kerry finally managed to break the stare with the strange lady. She
looked at her cousin.
“Vicki, look at that funny woman over by the door. She keeps staring
at me.”
“There’s nobody by the door silly, come on.” With that she began to
pull Kerry across the room.
Kerry looked towards the door and the lady had gone.
They went outside to wait for their mothers. The women would be here
to pick them up any time now, so they walked round the corner and sat
on a wall to wait. Kerry told the others about the strange lady. When
she told them about the bright clothes and floppy hat, Mark and Emma
laughed, but Vicki didn’t.
“Oh you’re such a liar Kerry. I think you’re just making it all up. I
looked in the hall and there was nobody there.”
“I am not making it up”, said Kerry indignantly. “She was there and
she was a witch.” This time they all started laughing, but Mark
stopped very suddenly.
“Oh-Oh” he said. “Here comes trouble.”
The lady who had scared Kerry was walking towards them. They all
recognised her from the description Kerry had given. It was her all
right.
“Flippin` heck”, said Emma. “The sights you see when you haven’t got a
catapult, and chewed up tissue!” She had heard her Dad utter this
little gem, when a middle-aged, scantily dressed lady, had crossed the
road in front of the car just last week. Only he had said gun rather
than catapult. Emma thought it sounded cool. So she had stored it in
her mind to bring forth at just such an appropriate moment as this.
Mark Sniggered.
“See Vicki” Kerry whispered. “I was not lying.”
Vicki began to hum nervously. Vicki sings. That doesn’t mean that
Vicki could sing although undoubtedly she could. It means that Vicki
did sing. She sung at breakfast, and her mum told her off for singing
at the table. She sung in class and Mrs. Bramham told her off for
being disruptive. She sung on the bus until her dad shook his head and
hid his face in his hands. Yes, Vicki sung; and hummed and clicked and
sometimes just did la la la.
The lady was out of breath by the time she drew level with the
children. Her face was red, and she had a thin coating of perspiration
on her forehead. Vicki instantly felt sorry for her. The strange lady
walked slowly and with a slight limp. She had a wide bottom that
swayed from side to side as she walked. The beads on her skirt jingled
like tiny bells. She had a smile on her face and didn’t look scary,
but she was definitely coming over to them. Kerry began to rock
backwards and forwards in time to Vicki’s humming. Mark and Emma just
stared at the approaching woman.
“Hello my dears”, the lady said as she drew close to them. She was
smiling broadly and Vicki thought she looked rather kind. “I’m sorry
to bother you on this lovely sunny day. My name is Sylvia, and I just
had to come and talk to you. You see the picture that you have belongs
to me my lovelies. It was given to the fair by mistake, and it holds
great sentimental value, though it isn’t worth much in actual money.
Please will you sell it back to me? You seem like such nice children,
and I’m sure you’ll want to help a silly old woman. What are you all
called?”
They were struck by the look on the lady’s face. She had the greenest
eyes any of them had ever seen. They were piercing and bright and so,
so green. Her body looked old, but her eyes made her appear to be a
lot younger than she probably was. The lady was still smiling sweetly,
but somehow the smile never made it all the way up to her eyes. All
four of the children felt a little nervous.
They looked at each other uncomfortably, not knowing what to do or
say. None of them told the lady their names. Mark started kicking some
stones with his shoes.
“I don’t know nuffink about no picture.” He lied both unconvincingly
and ungrammatically. The others looked at Kerry who clutched the
picture more tightly to her chest.
“I’m really very sorry,” Kerry said to the lady politely, “but the
picture isn’t for sale.”
The Lady smiled pleasantly at Kerry. “Oh come on now. What can you
possibly want with it, it’s only a foisty old picture. How much did
you pay for it? I’ll give you double.”
Kerry was starting to feel a little scared. She looked at the ground
and muttered in a very small voice, “I don’t want to sell it. Sorry.”
“Little girl, I need that picture back.” The old lady suddenly wasn’t
quite so nice. She wasn’t nasty exactly but the friendly tone had
disappeared out of her voice, and the smile had faded. “I’ll give you
five pounds for it.”
Kerry shook her head stubbornly.
“Ten” the lady said icily, her gaze boring into the top of Kerry’s
lowered head.
Again Kerry shook her head. She felt tears stinging her eyes. The lady
was scaring her, but for some reason that she didn’t understand Kerry
knew the picture was very important to her, even though she had only
owned it for just fifteen minutes. She couldn’t let it go now. Like
the lady said it was only a picture, and yet she felt more attached to
it than anything else she owned. It didn’t make sense.
Vicki risked looking up at the woman. She had been told many times not
to talk to strangers. They all had. She looked past the lady and back
towards school. Maybe they should go back inside and let a teacher
sort it out, but that would mean pushing past the lady.
“I would like you to give me back my picture now please young lady. Or
I will ring your parents and sort it out with them. I haven’t got time
to be standing here arguing, now give me the picture please.”
She took a step towards Kerry and held out her hand for the picture.
“Go away please or we’ll call a policeman”, shouted Emma. She looked
frantically round for a grown up to call out to.
It was all too much for Mark. “RUN!” he shouted and the next thing
anybody knew he was off down the road as fast as his legs could carry
him. Almost as a reflex reaction the others followed him; their feet
pounded the road as they ran full pelt down the hill.
“Steady on legs” said Emma in her deep voice, as her legs seemed to be
going faster than her body could keep up with. They ran round a corner
and leaned against the wall panting.
“Where’s Vicki?” they all shouted in unison. “Oh no, the Wicked Witch
of the North has got her” said Emma.
Vicki had made a run for it with the others, but she had been just a
fraction of a second slower to catch on. The lady made a grab for her.
She caught Vicki by the upper arm and gripped her painfully. Vicki
cried out and looked at the woman, terrified. The lady’s green eyes
seemed to be even brighter than they had been a few minutes earlier.
They flashed with anger and impatience. Vicki couldn’t look away from
them.
“Don’t be silly child” said Sylvia. “I’m not going to hurt you. You
are all being foolish. You should have given the frame back to me, you
don’t know what you have. I have to warn you to be very careful. You
could be in terrible danger if you are not careful.”
Vicki was scared out of her wits by this time. She twisted out of the
crazy woman’s grip and stumbled to the floor grazing her knee. She was
free. She began to limp off down the road with tears streaming down
her cheeks, and blood trickling down her leg. She heard the old woman
calling after her. “I’m Sylvia Sanders child. I live in Brampton Hall.
Come to me when you need my help. Beware of the picture. You don’t
know what you’re dealing with.”
The children ran all the way to Emma and Kerry’s house which was the
closest to the school. They burst through the door just as their
mothers were leaving to pick them up. Through tears and much excited
babble the children recounted their story. Karen Forest and Debbie
Taylor were furious. You heard of people approaching children at
schools all the time, but never expect it to happen to your children.
They rang the school to make a formal complaint. Then they rang the
police. The policeman who came out to interview the children listened
to their story, making notes in his book and stopping them every now
and then to ask the occasional question.
“Are you sure the lady said Brampton Hall Vicki?” the officer asked
her.
“Yes positive.”
“Well that’s funny,” said the Policeman. Brampton hall has been empty
and shuttered up for years.” He left with a promise to look into the
incident.
Later at Granddad’s house the children were in Kerry and Mark’s room.
They had the picture on the bed in front of them. They couldn’t see
anything special about the twelve- by fourteen-inch picture.
“Scary!” said Mark.
“As Scooby-Doo” answered Emma, and they laughed for the first time
since getting away from the creepy woman. Mrs. Taylor said they should
feel sorry for the strange lady because she obviously had some mental
problems.
“Yes, she’s nuts” said Emma with her usual comic timing.
That night both sets of children slept with the lights on, and their
bedroom doors open.
The Traveller wrote in message ...
The Traveller
I would have used the word *The* a few less times in the beginning and I
wouldn't have introduced the *frame* into the picture so early in the story.
I would have stopped once in a while during events to tell of the children's
detailed surroundings etc (buildings/blue painted window frames/tall
grass/trees/flowers/steps/lanes/cracked pavements/streets/wooden doors/shop
signs/ the route they took or maybe their attire, just to keep the *frame*
out of the picture a while longer.Allowing the reader to guess for a while.
But for goodness sake don't change everything around just because of my
ideas, Sue. Promise.
I gather this is a story for 10/15 year olds? a bit like "The Railway
Children" thing.(not compairing-honest) but it would be a good story for a
television serie.
BTW. Did you live in Africa when you were abroad? And is your story slightly
into self biography?
Regards Edith.
Jacques Hankin
>I'm very well thanks, and all the better for meeting another newbie,
>maybe if we sit at the back, and make at least some effort not to be
>too disruptive, we might be ok.
>Sooz
Nonononono.
We do disruption here. Ask Wrinkly Ron.
(That's him on the mountain-top, swigging vodka and impersonating and
"engineer").
Jacques, (also known as J.)
Steve
<sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>Hello I'm Sue pleased t.....
>
>
>
Wow what a response you got! I've looked in on ULC a couple of times
in search of an intersting community ... another Newbie here.
My earlier experience of such things came from the OU BBS about 10
years ago. I was hoping to find something friendly like it - and here
you all are! :)
btw I'm in Penrith area. Starting a career change soon - lotsa learnin
on Computers. 40somethin, divorced 2 children (with ex .. still good
friends)
Steve
Steve
gripped .. more please. It has the feeling of a good story and I want
to find out what happens. It flows well enough to keep me interested.
Is this your first book Sue?
Steve
The Traveller
Edith.
Sue Simpson
everybody my middle names Trauma. I live in a swathe of disruption and
chaos.
Sooz
Jacques Hankin wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
lived in Africa. Love Reptiles though and for some years ran a
sanctuary. The four Characters are my three great nieces and my son.
Thanks for the comments and I will take them all on board. I agree
with you about the description, and in fact I had 2000 extra words in
chapter one that I was advised to cut and spread because it was too
'wordy'. I have spread the descriptive bits throughout the first five
chapters.
Thank you Edith. Greatly appreciated. Are you game for chapter two
tomorrow?.
Thanks again I'll give it another read through tonight, get rid of
some of those damned 'the's
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
>Well here goes Sue and remember I'm no expert.
>
>I would have used the word *The* a few less times in the beginning
and I
>wouldn't have introduced the *frame* into the picture so early in the
story.
>I would have stopped once in a while during events to tell of the
children's
>detailed surroundings etc (buildings/blue painted window frames/tall
>grass/trees/flowers/steps/lanes/cracked pavements/streets/wooden
doors/shop
>signs/ the route they took or maybe their attire, just to keep the
*frame*
>out of the picture a while longer.Allowing the reader to guess for a
while.
>But for goodness sake don't change everything around just because of
my
>ideas, Sue. Promise.
>
>I gather this is a story for 10/15 year olds? a bit like "The Railway
>Children" thing.(not compairing-honest) but it would be a good story
Sue Simpson
against all the rules don't you?. You are going to give all us bitter
and twisted divorcees a bad name.
It's good `ere innit? The natives are really friendly, the diet coke's
cold and the settee's are comfy.
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <384545f9...@news.freeuk.net>...
Sue Simpson
taken over the lead for being finished first.
Thanks Steve, I was trying to aim at something adults would find
entertaining too, it gets better as the characters develop. Glad you
like it, I'm grinning from ear to ear now. I just need to know how I
can improve on it.
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <38457553...@news.freeuk.net>...
Westmerian
Tony Kenny wrote in message <81v33g$kbb$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>I do hope we'll see you at the Xmas u.l.c gathering. Provisional
>arrangements are for us to meet in the Kendal Arms, Kendal. But, some
>people want to meet mid-way, like Wynrose pass or somewhere..
Is there a fixed date for this yet? I'm trying to cram Xmas/New Year trips
to friends and relations in about 5 different parts of the country (and I'd
rather be in Sweden).
--
Steve
Westmerian
Sue Simpson wrote in message
<81ueht$da2$1...@nclient11-gui.server.virgin.net>...
>Hello I'm Sue .... and I went to ST. Mary's primary school. [Ulverston]
Welcome Sue.
Would that be the school on Church Walk or one of the Catholic ones on
Victoria Road or Springfield Road - or even both of those? It's confusing
having both main churches called St Mary's.
Did you know Julie, Joanne or Michael Davies? - the last 2 are about your
age.
--
Steve
The Traveller
rules for how much space one can use at a time on our news group.???
Does anyone know?
Alastair. We need a little advice here please.
Maybe you can have one of those things you click on Sue, like I have to get
onto my home page(I don't know what they are called or if it is neccesary)
I'm no good on computers.
Sue. I think of your paragraphs as pictures. When a lot has happend on one
picture it is time to paint a quiet one, if you see what I mean.Then the
reader rests for a few seconds before going on.
I would have let the readers wait a while longer for the title too that's
why I mentioned the frame. It's such good reading that I don't want the
suspence to end too soon.
Remember-I'm no expert.. Just saying what I feel. God ! Who is that woman at
Brampton Hall./Carlisle
Weird-I was reading about that place day before you sent us your first
chapter. Creepy.Think it was on Russell's Home Page/Pill Boxes.
Edith
The Traveller
Sue, this fellow needs sorting out.
Lay back on Sues couche and keep your eye on the pedalem.
Edith.
Sue Simpson
the center of town. And then later moved onto Springfield road.
Sooz
Westmerian wrote in message <82570s$2lj$2...@newsg3.svr.pol.co.uk>...
Sue Simpson
cold above all else. Hows Norway Edith, bet that's pretty chilly now
isn't it. I toured Germany four years ago for a month at Christmas.
Now they did say at the time it was the coldest on record for many
years but we were AVERAGING minus fifteen. We went to the Brandenburg
gate for midnight of NYE and it was soooo cold. It was a relief to get
back into the nice warm hotel and continue the festivities there. An
experience I wouldn't have missed for the world even though I can pin
point THAT trip as the begining of the end of my marriage we drove
eight hours every other day. I think maybe the cold got into our
marriage and we couldn't get the chill out afterwards, but it was a
trip full of beautiful sights, amazing architecture and some of the
most spectacular scenery I've seen.
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message
<3pr14.956$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
Sue Simpson
was a name I just sort of plucked. Hmm might have to change that.
I Won't send any more chapters until I know if it's ok or not. I'd
hate to break any rules and get into trouble. If there is a way to do
something wrong don't worry I'll find it :-)
Thanks Edith.
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Ian Zirins
<enil...@hotmail.com> pressed a few keys as follows:
I wear a mitten - it fits better - in the thumb hole
...Ian...
remove NOSPAM if replying by Email
The Traveller
> ...Ian...
Thumbs up Ian!
Edith.
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
The Traveller
> Sooz
All I got was a virtual. Can I keep it?
Edith.
Steve
wrote:
>Hi Steve nice to meet you. Friends with the ex?, you do realise that's
>against all the rules don't you?. You are going to give all us bitter
>and twisted divorcees a bad name.
>It's good `ere innit? The natives are really friendly, the diet coke's
>cold and the settee's are comfy.
>Sooz
>
Easing back into deeps of the settee, stretching his legs out in front
of him, he fixes a welcoming but sardonic smile to his lips. Turning
slightly, peering over the rim of his ice encrusted pepsi, he views
the coke drinkers huddled in the corner. Their bitter and twisted
psyches create a palpable aura, a strange toxicity in the air.
A thought crosses his mind, "I should share this bounty with those
poor unfortunates."
He laughs briefly and loses the thought just as quickly as it came.
The Traveller
Friends with my X. Never on a week of Sundays. Besides. He's six foot under.
I shot him!
HaHaaaaaaaa.... Yust Yoking. But it did cross my mind many a time back in
the 60's, 70's, and 80's.
Frank Tate
I hope you enjoy reading the ng as much as I do. It's definatley a pick me
up after a hard day.
It's quite suprising how many "regulars" come out of the woodwork to say
hello to a newbie. It brings a smile to my face.
Don't listen to Tony K, I'm not the one to look out for, thats Bjorn - he's
a bit of a strange, llama loving, plane flying, semi Norweigen bloke.
If you are interested there is a christmas meeting. (Don't know where yet -
Rynose?) But, I would recommend you vet us all first.
Hope to see you there.
Frank Tate
Sue Simpson wrote in message
> Hello I'm Sue pleased to meet you. I have recently come 'home' after
> living away for years......
<snip>
> Thanks
> Sooz
>
>
>
Frank Tate
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <3846cbc0...@news.freeuk.net>...
>On Wed, 1 Dec 1999 20:10:11 -0000, "Sue Simpson"
<sooz...@virgin.net>
>wrote:
>
Sue Simpson
Sue Simpson
toally none existant due to the fact that I don't have a babysitter,
but it's great to be asked, thanks. I'll hold the invite if I may
until Mark is sixteen, or sensible if it comes later. Only another
nine years
Soooz
Frank Tate wrote in message ...
The Traveller
Edith
The Traveller
Who's Steve?......I'm not talking to him.
Unless he sends a picture. hihihihihiiiii Edith.
I wonder who this Edith is? She's starting to get on my nerves.
The Traveller
he's
> a bit of a strange, llama loving, plane flying, semi Norweigen bloke.
They say he lives just outside Bergen on his father's farm and raises
Llamas. You know, those horrible long knecked things that SPIT. He's always
promising to fly over and land some where in the Lakes but knowing him right
he'll probably land outside The Kremlin, with that rusty old Fokker of
his.His navigating is like-Fly me to the moon. He must be barmy.I'll never
board his plane again. No siree. Puts grey hair in my head.
Edith.
..............
>snip.But, I would recommend you vet us all first.
vet? vet.= wet? You must wet on us all first dear.
He probably means, (vet-get to know us first.) Huh. If you do that, you
won't come.
The Traveller
two years. Can't remember half of it.
But then I pounced out, did all the wrong things, taught myself one lesson
after the other, found out that I was too good for this, pulled my socks up
then settled down to glorious none-problem existance.
Edith get a life.
Sue Simpson
it, so, it does now to vort is to wish ... virtually. You've seen the
advert have'nt you
"I vort, I vort, I vort a viscount .... oops that's Vont.. Oh well
near enough
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
>vort?
>
>Edith
>
>
Sue Simpson
against her.
But then I have just got out of the bath and have two lugs full of
watter.
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message
<0zM14.1527$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
Sue Simpson
sometimes rides under another name ..... Lonliness.
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
The Traveller
I vort, I vort, I vort. = I fart, I fart, I fjart, and I dont vont t fart.
I was thinking to myself - Does she want to read my mail too?
Edith,giggling again. Oh I am so funny. I love my yokes.
The Traveller
go through that painful faze called loneliness too, but when you come out of
the tunnel at the other end, the view is magnificent and life is bitter
sweet. Look forward to it.
Better lonely alone, than lonely in a crowd Edith.
The Traveller
I used to swim until I'd drop and that helped enormously. Slept well at
night too.
Do what I used to tell my children :-
"If you want a sweetheart, go to the libraryto find him/her."
Where in England are you Sue?
Edith.
Steve
Part of the new virtual language perhaps.
Steve
>On Thu, 2 Dec 1999 20:17:03 -0000, "Sue Simpson" <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>Don't see why not you vort it :-)
>Sooz
>
>The Traveller wrote in message ...
Steve
Steve
On Tue, 30 Nov 1999 16:54:43 -0000, "Sue Simpson"
<sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>lovely
>Sooz
>
>The Traveller wrote in message <3JP04.84$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
>>Hey, hold on.I'm classy too!
>>I am quite posh like
>>Just like you.
>>Might pick me nose
>>or scratch me bum
>>But I never bother anywun
>>At heart I'm just a nice old lass
>>And I've never ever show me ass.
>>
>>(That is, until the light's turned off. hihihi Edith.)
>>
>>Sue Simpson <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote in message
>>news:820fdn$692$1...@nclient11-gui.server.virgin.net...
>>> Now dear, here listen, see
>>> I'm a class act lady, Who? Yeah me.
>>> I eat cucumber butties and drink iced tea.
>>> I do not scratch and pick, not me
>>> Still you do seem enrapt now,
>>> perhaps you might just teach me how.
>>> Blow some kisses here they come
>>> scrounge food and sctatch your bum
>>> Look at that kid banging the glass
>>> Quick Edith show `em your ass
>>> A nice enclosure with penthouse view
>>> I like being a chimp at Chester zoo
>>>
>>>
>>> The Traveller wrote in message ...
>>> >I picked me nose and scratched me bum
>>> >I didn't bother anywun.
>>> >But then I heard this awful shout
>>> >And me mother gave me such a clout.
>>> >Not fare ses I, I didn't lie,
>>> >just picked me nose and scratched me bum
>>> >And found it to be lots of fun.
>>> >
>>> >Edith.
>>> >
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message
<4ZT14.1766$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
Steve
On Fri, 3 Dec 1999 00:41:09 -0000, "Sue Simpson" <sooz...@virgin.net>
wrote:
>He's got the taste of Paradise and he's not going to share folks.
>Sooz
>
Steve
<shrug>
<He nonchalantly tosses the wrapper in the nearest spitoon>
Steve
Hey Sooz - this lounge is busy!
Steve
Steve
Steve
Steve
forgotten where mum lives" a son thing?
Steve
>On Fri, 3 Dec 1999 17:25:52 -0000, "Sue Simpson" <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>Oh I'm far too busy to get lonely much.. just sometimes at night when
>Mark is in bed and cli` is going through his amnesia or "Oh dear I've
>forgotten where mum lives" phase.
?
>Rest of the time I just don't have
>time to get down. I'm still opting for the fifty hour day.
>Sooz
>
Ron Fitzpatrick
01 Dec 1999 16:29:02 +0000, Jacques Hankin
<jac...@nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>"Sue Simpson" <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>
>>I'm very well thanks, and all the better for meeting another newbie,
>>maybe if we sit at the back, and make at least some effort not to be
>>too disruptive, we might be ok.
>>Sooz
>
>Nonononono.
>
>We do disruption here. Ask Wrinkly Ron.
>
>(That's him on the mountain-top, swigging vodka and impersonating and
>"engineer").
>
You gat two out of three correct, not bad for a Frenchie!
It's not just mountain tops (I wish it were). Just back from
a week in the midlands :-(
My GSM modem kit arrived today and since I'm off to the
wilds of the Highlands of Scotland next week I will be able
to be disruptive even there!
--
Regards
Wrinkly Ron
If its email you want to send then iron out the wrinkly in the reply to address or click here ron...@btinternet.com
Ron Fitzpatrick
Nov 1999 11:56:15 GMT, "The Traveller"
<enil...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Sometimes I just about fall off my chair laughing.
>
And I thought it was a tree.
Ron Fitzpatrick
Dec 1999 19:56:59 GMT, st2...@freeuk.com (Steve) wrote:
>On Wed, 1 Dec 1999 20:10:11 -0000, "Sue Simpson" <sooz...@virgin.net>
>wrote:
>
>>Hi Steve nice to meet you. Friends with the ex?, you do realise that's
>>against all the rules don't you?. You are going to give all us bitter
>>and twisted divorcees a bad name.
>>It's good `ere innit? The natives are really friendly, the diet coke's
>>cold and the settee's are comfy.
>>Sooz
>>
>
>Easing back into deeps of the settee, stretching his legs out in front
>of him, he fixes a welcoming but sardonic smile to his lips. Turning
>slightly, peering over the rim of his ice encrusted pepsi, he views
>the coke drinkers huddled in the corner. Their bitter and twisted
>psyches create a palpable aura, a strange toxicity in the air.
>
>A thought crosses his mind, "I should share this bounty with those
>poor unfortunates."
>
>He laughs briefly and loses the thought just as quickly as it came.
At that very moment the psychiatric nurse bustled into the
room. "Time for your medication Steve" .
Ron Fitzpatrick
on Fri, 3 Dec 1999 00:45:19 -0000, "Sue Simpson"
<sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
> I'll hold the invite if I may
>until Mark is sixteen, or sensible if it comes later.
Sixteen AND sensible. Oh such an optimist.
The Traveller
Grange-over-bloody-sands ten minutes from Ulverston.
> Sooz
Ha haaa. No wonder you are complaining Where did you move from?
The Traveller
I have advanced Wrinkly Ron. I have a chair up the tree now.
What the blazes do you do travelling around all the time? Care to yell us?
I'm sure you measure waves with your tape measure
Do you make electricity from waves? I hope England keep their lead there.
Edith.
The Traveller
Edith.
The Traveller
Edith.
Steve
On Fri, 03 Dec 1999 21:34:12 GMT, ron...@wrinklybtinternet.com (Ron
Fitzpatrick) wrote:
>
>At that very moment the psychiatric nurse bustled into the
>room. "Time for your medication Steve" .
>
>
>--
Oh Goody! What is it today nursey?
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
Once they leave home they NEVER visit unless they are broke, hungry,
or their girlfriend has kicked them out again.
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <38482746...@news.freeuk.net>...
>Mine are daughters, is this "Oh dear I've
>forgotten where mum lives" a son thing?
>Steve
>
Sue Simpson
word Preternaturally, I can make up the words Vort and Dunderklunken.
I was short of an insult for my youngest one day, he'd pushed me
almost to the edge, I opened my mouth, and everything that wanted to
come out and to be pushed back again because it was innapropriate for
delicate ears such as mine. Eventually Dunderklunken poured forth, and
stuck.
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <3848236...@news.freeuk.net>...
>Interesting verb Sooz.
>
>Part of the new virtual language perhaps.
>
>Steve
>
>>On Thu, 2 Dec 1999 20:17:03 -0000, "Sue Simpson"
<sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>
>>Don't see why not you vort it :-)
>>Sooz
>>
>>The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
fat ladies, or hinge and bracket ... I don't want to be any of them.
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <38482411...@news.freeuk.net>...
>You two make a classy double act.
>
>Steve
>
>On Tue, 30 Nov 1999 16:54:43 -0000, "Sue Simpson"
><sooz...@virgin.net> wrote:
>
>>lovely
>>Sooz
>>
>>The Traveller wrote in message
<3JP04.84$I96....@juliett.dax.net>...
>>>Hey, hold on.I'm classy too!
>>>I am quite posh like
>>>Just like you.
>>>Might pick me nose
>>>or scratch me bum
>>>But I never bother anywun
>>>At heart I'm just a nice old lass
>>>And I've never ever show me ass.
>>>
>>>(That is, until the light's turned off. hihihi Edith.)
>>>
>>>Sue Simpson <sooz...@virgin.net> wrote in message
>>>news:820fdn$692$1...@nclient11-gui.server.virgin.net...
>>>> Now dear, here listen, see
>>>> I'm a class act lady, Who? Yeah me.
>>>> I eat cucumber butties and drink iced tea.
>>>> I do not scratch and pick, not me
>>>> Still you do seem enrapt now,
>>>> perhaps you might just teach me how.
>>>> Blow some kisses here they come
>>>> scrounge food and sctatch your bum
>>>> Look at that kid banging the glass
>>>> Quick Edith show `em your ass
>>>> A nice enclosure with penthouse view
>>>> I like being a chimp at Chester zoo
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
stomach first thing on a sunday morning shift, after a somewhat heavy
night. emptying Comodes I can do .. spitoons .. ugh
Sooz
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <38482569...@news.freeuk.net>...
Sue Simpson
Sooz
Steve wrote in message <3848260e...@news.freeuk.net>...
Sue Simpson
Sooz
The Traveller wrote in message ...
Sue Simpson
to wait. Should I be bottom posting.
Sooz (who will just keep setting them up)
Ron Fitzpatrick wrote in message
<384e11d7...@news.btinternet.com>...
>In article <8273tg$kit$1...@nclient13-gui.server.virgin.net>,
>on Fri, 3 Dec 1999 00:45:19 -0000, "Sue Simpson"