Lieutenant Scott wrote:
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW
> <adamwadswo...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> > Nthkentman wrote:
> > > "ARW"  wrote in message news:k7p6cc$fgb$1@dont-email.me...

> > > Mrs Beattie wrote:
> > > > I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but
> > > > after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be
> > > > a qualified electrician.

> > > > Must I call in an electrician?  It's quite dark in here now with
> > > > only my reading lamp.  It makes knitting quite difficult.

> > > > If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb?  Is it
> > > > illegal to fit the old filament ones now?  Do I have to get one
> > > > of them LED things to stop global warfare?

> > > > What about ladders?  I was just going to stand on a small
> > > > chair, but apparently that isn't safe.  I don't really want to
> > > > buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use one?) just
> > > > for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an electrician,
> > > > unless he's good looking of course, maybe I can answer the door
> > > > with not much on and get a discount.

> > > :-) :-)

> > > I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

> > > However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

> > > That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

> > > Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an
> > > inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge
> > > she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation
> > > during laughing so hard.

> > I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

> > They are tigers in bed.

> Not just in bed:
> "Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on
> average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more
> anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."
> Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in bed: