Darnell L. Moore

Writer, educator, and activist

Growing Up Gay in Camden: Remembering Wauynee Wallace, Who Was
Murdered (and Remembering Myself)

Posted: 08/14/2012 5:25 pm

Seventeen-year-old Wauynee Wallace was tragically killed in the city
of Camden, N.J. the city that I often write about and proudly name as
home. Today, however, my words are fueled by anger and disappointment,
because someone in the neighborhood where I played, lived out my
youthful days, and experienced community thought it OK to place a
bullet in the back of the head of a young person who was budding with
the potential to be an active citizen of our world. In fact, I am
searching for words, but I am only able to summon images, as captured
in the heartrending media articles, of tears painfully flowing down
the face of Ebony Wallace, Wauynee's 39-year-old mother, his family
members, and friends as they buried a young person they lost much too
soon.

Wauynee was a gay-identified youth, a courageous teenager described by
friends and family as someone who set fashion trends, freely expressed
difference, and defied societal rules that would have limited his
boundless sense of self-awareness. Darran Simon, writing for The
Inquirer, noted
<http://articles.philly.com/2012-08-13/news/33183409_1_gay-son-adult-s...>
 that Wauynee's friends described him as "selfless, outgoing, and
charismatic." Simon also reported that he was soon to matriculate at
Gateway to College, a program where he would have been able to earn
his high school diploma and college credits, at Camden County College.
He lived. Wauynee fully embraced and experienced the joy of life...
until he was killed.

According to Simon's report, Wauynee was walking with two of his
friends in the Whitman Park section of Camden and was shot in the back
of his head. The two friends recall hearing a shot, but they did not
see the shooter. They ran after the shooting occurred.

Wauynee's killing is one of several
<http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/19143726/camden-on-pace-for-deadlies...>
 that occurred in Camden during the month of July. I am certain that
some might wonder: Why is this particular call to remembrance or call
for change necessary when so many other lives have also been lost?
Where is the demand for communal accountability and transformation on
behalf of the many people who have been affected by gun violence?

Wauynee's death is tragically mundane and exceptional. In other words,
the fact that 40 people have been killed in Camden so far this year
speaks to a broader community concern of public safety. The horrific
act of killing others has become too commonplace an occurrence and is
ruining the lives of so many in the community. Nevertheless, Wauynee's
killing is particularly different, though no less horrifying than the
others that occurred throughout the year. Wauynee, like so many
others, may have faced multiple "killings" even before his life was
cut short by a bullet a month ago: killings of his spirit, of his
sense of self, of his psyche, because of his sexual identity. While
there is no evidence that Wauynee's killing was motivated by bias, the
fact that he identified as gay in a world and a city that still has
yet to eradicate its homophobia must be said aloud.

Wauynee's warm blood was spilled on the streets where I grew up under
constant ridicule by both neighbors and strangers, who were sometimes
provoked by the seeming sexual difference of others. I lived on Carl
Miller Boulevard, a few streets over from the block on Chase Street
where a makeshift memorial now stands as a site where neighbors are
beckoned to celebrate Wauynee's life and remember how it was stolen
from him. I imagine that he might have understood what it felt like to
be called "faggot," "sissy," or "punk" on the streets in Whitman Park.
I do.

I was 14 or 15 years old, a few years younger than Wauynee, when I
confronted hatred in Whitman Park. The matches that one of the boys
tried to light would not ignite, because of the wind. I beat death on
my day of confrontation; Wauynee did not. And it's because of this
atrocity, which may have been the result of someone's disdain for
Wauynee, that we must speak. There are so many others who have endured
hate-motivated brutality because of their perceived or actual sexual
identities and gender expressions -- some lived and many did not --
and we must speak. But who will tell the story of the young lesbian,
gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ) person of color who
lives and dies in Camden, in the urban and economically challenged
spaces in our nation?

I am infuriated that this note of remembrance had to be written. I am
deeply saddened that a young man's life was ended. I am frustrated
that many of us who live outside the Camden/Philadelphia area are just
reading about this tragic incident many weeks later. The lives of
young black and brown LGBTQ people matter, but it seems that
mainstream media, including some LGBTQ media and advocacy groups, have
yet to really understand that truth. We must make them pay attention.

Wauynee, you were not meant to be killed in your city, our city, at
17. In fact, the 16 other persons who were killed in the same month
should also be alive today. Someone robbed you of your life. Your
horrifying death has forced me to recall that I, too, was once a young
gay boy of color growing up in Camden. Growing up young and gay in
Camden takes courage, and you were brave. May we forever remember your
name. May we never forget your life. May your mother find comfort in
knowing that you spent your short time among others living in truth.
And may your killer be daily reminded that truth will always set the
truthful free, even as such truth incites those who are resistant to
and afraid of our freedom.

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