Beer
Sam Lefkowitz
THOUGHTS ON BEER AND DRINKING
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You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
airline; it helps if you have some kind of a football team,
or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a
beer.
--Frank Zappa
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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway
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Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
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He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato
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Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency
to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
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Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-- Winston Churchill
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If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
stomachs.
--David Daye
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Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I
bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well
with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
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The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
behind. -- Humphrey Bogart
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Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from
urine. --David Moulton
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People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer;
they just like to pee alot.
-- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
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Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Welhelm
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I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
-- Homer Simpson
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water,
a vital ingredient in beer. -- Dave Barry
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I drink to make other people interesting. -- George Jean Nathan
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They who drink beer will think beer. -- Washington Irving
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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with his fools. -- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
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....................... (\ .....................................
Sam Lefkowitz .). It is far better to light a candle
aa...@torfree.net | | than to curse the darkness.
...Toronto, Ontario.....|_|............ Anonymous ..............