How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?
Mean Mr Mustard
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:
1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.
Any other suggestions?
fred_eg_bowinatuck
> Any other suggestions?
Keep your hand gun on your person,
from the moment you leave home for the airport.
Lawrence Glickman
wrote:
Grow some balls and walk like a man
The Independent
--
The Independent of Clackamas County, Oregon
"The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of
speeches and majority decisions ... but by iron and blood."
(Otto Von Bismarck, Speech, Sept. 30, 1862.)
Welsh Witch
************************************************************
Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
abroad:-)
Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
I think
you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
holiday...
***************************
Mike O'sullivan
"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> little Canadian flag pin.
11. Lose 200 pounds
12. Eat green vegetables openly
13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
Maria
wrote:
>Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
>anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
tourists?
>
>That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
>from being a target:
>1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
>away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
>should help keep me out of trouble.
Tailored English suit will make you look like a raving capitalist or
nobby landowner.
>2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
Only in England or Finland.
>3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
>or desperation.
You *will* stick out like a sore thumb then!
>4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
>meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
Which part of Europe are you going to? Napoli?
>5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
Do Americans really say that?
>6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
Except in Italy.
>7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
Lol...I must visit America...sounds most amusing!
>8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
>coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
Taking all your clothes off would probably be more effective and would
guarantee instant protection by policemen.
>9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
>"cigarrette"
No-one cares.
>10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
>Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
>little Canadian flag pin.
Come to England where most people wouldn't be able to tell the
difference.
>Any other suggestions?
How about paranoia therapy?
John H. McCloskey
>Europe?
>From: macu...@yahoo.com (Mean Mr Mustard)
>Date: 6/6/2004 2:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com>
It's all far too _defensive_, sir. You worry that they'll spot you as a Yank
(which is bad enough) or as a Yank who wants to be taken for Canadian (which is
utterly unspeakable altogether).
_L'audace, l'audace_! Put on _hijab_ as a fake female, or ship yourself out
yonder as a fake object in a crate, or ... I dunno, land in a flyin' saucer
maybe and set up as a fake Coalition Martian as per the _New Yorker_ cartoon or
....
I really dunno, sir. Have you ever considered stayin' home and onlyjust
postin' to THUGNET?
Happy days.
--JHM
Maria
wrote:
>Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
>in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
>abroad:-)
He could take me - all purpose English British Italian Arab Asian
looking women who appears as a native whichever country she travels
to!
> Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
>on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
>would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
Yes we do - you live in the country. :)
Peter File
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> little Canadian flag pin.
Lose some weight.
Try to remember that in Europe we don't have 30lb steaks for dinner.
Drive a car that is more economical then a 15 ton SUV that does around 10
gallons to the mile.
When entering a sports bar, never ask if thay can put on the baseball.
Maria
wrote:
>Any other suggestions?
Oh yeah...and don't expect the same level of service that you get in
the US.
Someone told me once that their American friends came here and when
they wanted an ice cream from a roadside seller, they pulled up and
sat in their car waiting for the ice cream to be brought over to them.
We pack our own groceries here.
The Rifleman
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
Suits only for appointments
Jeans or Chinos for casual
No Bright gaudy shirts
Cheap watch
No bug bags ( fanny packs in US parlance)
Use only a small digital camera you can keep in your pocket ( look round you
first to make sure you aint being targeted)
and the best cammo for europe? a soccer shirt of the nation you are visiting
for casual dress
dont cut your hair US style with sideburns cut to top of ear, grow them to
halfway down your ear,
Leave a few bucks in your wallet and an expired credit card, keep your cash
and card UK style in your inside pockets.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
Dead give away the LM yank scenario, its sadly very often true that one can
pick out theCanucks from the yanks becauise the former are polite and well
mannered and say please and thank you.
> 3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
> or desperation.
Bollocks
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
Rubbish
> 5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
More Rubbish
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
Correct , pointing is bad mannered.
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
You are not well travelled are you???
> 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
Try "what fettle the day lads" instead
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Any other suggestions?
Yes dont take american children with you, There ill manners and poor
discipline always give americans away
If you are white stay out of London and Birmingham
If you are Black dont leave London or Birmingham
Dont try queue jumping
tim
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
You don't need to bother with this one, you will just look like
an Italian.
(You know the joke about how to silence an Italian?)
tim
The Rifleman
> >
> >Any other suggestions?
>
> Grow some balls and walk like a man
That is something we Brits would respect.
The Rifleman
"The Independent" <jam...@web-ster.com> wrote in message
news:40C2C492...@web-ster.com...
> Why are you doing business with the sons of bitches????
>
women and kids?
The Rifleman
. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
> Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
> holiday...
> ***************************
pyromaniacs and manic depresssives :o) And Screaming Arse bandit Labour
ministers who wont attend the D Day celebrations.
The Rifleman
> nobby landowner.
>
> >2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
>
> Only in England or Finland.
>
Face facts the Welsh will ignore him, the Irish will try and con him and the
jocks will just try to borrow money off him :o) whilst the English will
still call him a damn colonial.
The Rifleman
Maria
<52001097350...@t-online.de> wrote:
>
>(You know the joke about how to silence an Italian?)
>
Tie his hands behind his back?
It's true - people have been ready to send me to the nuthouse on
account of my gesticulating in public too much!
Maria
What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?
tim
"Maria" <frust...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:40c2d3bc...@News.Individual.NET...
> On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, macu...@yahoo.com (Mean Mr Mustard)
> wrote:
>
> >Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> >a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> >sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> >I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> >anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
> tourists?
Maria, I've think you've taken this post a little bit too seriously.
tim
tim
"Peter File" <ted_mau...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:2ig3ofF...@uni-berlin.de...
> > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> > little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Lose some weight.
> Try to remember that in Europe we don't have 30lb steaks for dinner.
> Drive a car that is more economical then a 15 ton SUV that does around 10
> gallons to the mile.
> When entering a sports bar, never ask if thay can put on the baseball.
Surely he should be avoiding the sports bar in the first place.
What is a sports bar?
(Yes I do know, but only because I've been to CA)
tim
Maria
<52001097350...@t-online.de> wrote:
Not really...the rest was humour, but I'm interested to know if there
have been reports of attacks on US tourists.
Welsh Witch
***************************************
Oh dear \Rifleman you have got out of the wrong side today. Wahtever is
the matter can we hlp?:-)
Welsh Witch
**************************
Maria. Where have you been? If I go on the search engine I use it will
throw up this "Your request has returned over 1000 items so reword it
please"
What about Bali,I know Ausies were there too but also Americans and the
blowing up int Africa...or do you just mean Europe?
***********************************************
JohnT
"Mike O'sullivan" <mike.os...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:c9ujs3$8q$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout "fill
the bar".
JohnT
Maria
wrote:
>On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 09:18:03 +0000, Maria wrote:
Oh I see what you mean...I thought the poster was talking about
individual attacks.
In which case the simple answer is not to go where Americans
congregate!
a s t a _l3@hotmail.com Hasta
@yahoo.com says...
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
Funny :-)
Just come... You'll have no problem.
We are not american, you know :-))
pencil
on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
Lose about 25 stones.
Maria
<pencil...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
>
>Lose about 25 stones.
>
>
Unless he's going to be visiting a car boot.
I've never seen so much lipid tissue wobbling about in my life.
Maria
wrote:
>On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 09:01:36 GMT, in rec.travel.europe, frust...@ntlworld.com (Maria)
>arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :
>
> ... On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 10:48:49 +0200, "tim"
> ... <52001097350...@t-online.de> wrote:
> ...
> ...
> ... >
> ... >(You know the joke about how to silence an Italian?)
> ... >
> ...
> ... Tie his hands behind his back?
>
>Does it silence Prince Charles ?
>
I was watching him on telly at the D-Day remembrance yesterday. He
looked like a grinning loon!
Padraig Breathnach
>
>"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
>> Any other suggestions?
>
>Lose about 25 stones.
>
That doesn't mean "get your rocks off". Brits have quaint systems of
weights and measures.
--
PB
The return address has been MUNGED
Icono Clast
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
You sound like such an asshole it's a wonder you're still alive to ask
the question. But I'll answer it:
If a person with your attitude is truly a citizen of the USA, there's
something about you that will make you spottable from a distace and
there's nothing you can do about it. We are different. What makes us
so I cannot say because I don't know, but we are.
____________________________________________________________
Un San Francisqueño en San Francisco
http://geocities.com/dancefest/ http://geocities.com/iconoc/
ICQ: http://wwp.mirabilis.com/19098103 IClast at SFbay Net
Padraig Breathnach
>macu...@yahoo.com (Mean Mr Mustard) wrote:
>> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>
>You sound like such an asshole it's a wonder you're still alive to ask
>the question. But I'll answer it:
>
>If a person with your attitude is truly a citizen of the USA, there's
>something about you that will make you spottable from a distace and
>there's nothing you can do about it. We are different. What makes us
>so I cannot say because I don't know, but we are.
>
Is it perhaps an inability to spot when one is being sent up?
Turlough
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
> Any other suggestions?
Wear a ManU t-shirt, and a pair of sandals *with* your socks on. That's
all you need. There's plenty of fat, loud talking, rude Europeans about.
Oh, and put the t-shirt and sandals on at the airport. There's no sense
in grossing out your neighbors and the rest of us, beforehand...
Turlough
sidheseeker
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> from being a target
In your case.. this one only..
> 4. Do not leave the hotel
>
> Any other suggestions?
Or better yet.. don't get on the plane.. what a moron..!!!
Turlough
>
> Lose about 25 stones.
If the average Yank lost 25 stone, he'd fall through his arsehole and
hang himself. 20 years ago or so, I spotted a McDonalds in Dublin. I
recall saying to my wife, "Give them a generation or two, and the
Europeans will be sporting the huge arses they accuse us of." I should
have taken up fortune telling...
Turlough
On-Liner
"JohnT" wrote
> 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
Wrong way round.
UK McD's don't serve beer.
Mind you, they barely serve edible food either - or is that McD's in
general?
Mark
Lose 300 pounds?
Mark
Turlough
> Unless he's going to be visiting a car boot.
> I've never seen so much lipid tissue wobbling about in my life.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3300011.stm
"The number of children with weight problems has doubled in the last two
decades, with nearly one in five 15-year-olds now classed as obese."
Turlough
Padraig Breathnach
>If the average Yank lost 25 stone, he'd fall through his arsehole and
>hang himself. 20 years ago or so, I spotted a McDonalds in Dublin. I
>recall saying to my wife, "Give them a generation or two, and the
>Europeans will be sporting the huge arses they accuse us of." I should
>have taken up fortune telling...
>
So you suggest that it is McDonald's that are responsible?
The Rifleman
Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.
The Rifleman
"Welsh Witch" <w...@nospam.never.cop> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.06.06...@nospam.never.cop...
>
The Rifleman
> >
>
> Not really...the rest was humour, but I'm interested to know if there
> have been reports of attacks on US tourists.
Only for having atrocious dress sense, Only yesterday I was in York at the
judges Lodgings for dinner, their was a coach load of american tourists and
whislt they were truly pleasant and charming people whose company was a
pleasure their dress sense was like nothing on earth, IE 50 yr old
californian lady of a least 18 stones who wore stretch bottom lycra bottoms,
she looked like something greenpeace would want to save:o) what I simply can
not grasp is how America that produces some fabulously cuts denim jeans like
Levis and wranglers, and stylish cheanos is how they can not produce any
decent looking slacks for men, are the best US tailers all employed by jeans
makers?
The Rifleman
He is an inbred grinning loon and so is his shitty son for going to play
golf instead of going to normandy.
The Rifleman
the opposite and you will be fine.:o)
Turlough
Not McDonald's per se, but the entire American diet. The results of
studies on 2nd and 3rd generation Oriental-Am's has shown that the
change to a western diet was a leading factor in increased cases of
obesity and diabetes among that group. Urbanization, which usually leads
to a decrease in normal daily exercise, and poverty are also relevant
factors.
Turlough
j...@somewhere.com
wrote:
>Any other suggestions?
Miss your flight.
JRP
Madra Dubh
"Welsh Witch" <w...@nospam.never.cop> wrote in message
<Edwardized>
> Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you.
That would have to be the best offer to date on the old Internet.
Now me being too old to travel, I'll not be leaping to my feet and shouting
"LET ME! LET ME!"
But I will, with your kind permission, indulge in a bit of fantasy.
<Fantasy Mode on>
Sigh!
<Fantasy Mode off>
> They have plenty to say in a notably different accent from American and
would like a trip
> abroad:-)
> Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
> on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
> would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
> I think
> you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
> people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
> Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
> holiday...
Madra Dubh
"Turlough" <Turl...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:40C31055...@comcast.net...
But also increased height, Turlough, at least among the Japanese.
Must have something to do with good red meat.
Stephen Glynn
>>have been reports of attacks on US tourists.
>
> **************************
> Maria. Where have you been? If I go on the search engine I use it will
> throw up this "Your request has returned over 1000 items so reword it
> please"
> What about Bali,I know Ausies were there too but also Americans and the
> blowing up int Africa...or do you just mean Europe?
> ***********************************************
>
But the trouble with that is you're getting multiple hits for single
events. I've just tried "Lockerbie bombing" (with quote marks so it's
searching for that exact phrase) and Google's given me 13,300 hits even
though there was only one Lockerbie bombing.
Steve
jos boersema
>10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
>Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
>little Canadian flag pin.
>
>Any other suggestions?
11. At least TRY to know your own way around before you ask "can you
help me, I'm an American". Buy a good map, buy a compass.
12. Don't wear complex shoes with all kinds of fiddly bits and colors
on it, keep it simple. I don't recommend sandals.
13. Don't wear white shorts. If you have to wear shorts, choose a darker color.
14. Don't wear a fashionable new sporty bag, use a simple bag or a plastic bag.
15. Don't wear flashy sunglasses, use something more conservative. If you're
not wearing it put it away, don't put it on your head.
16. Leave your intricate big sports watch at home, choose a plain model.
17. Don't wear jewelry.
18. Don't be fat !
19. Travel in a smaller car.
20. Don't over do your hair.
21. Try to pretend you know what you're doing. You can always spot an
American from the look of their eyes: like a small wild animal lost
in a scary big world. Don't be scared. If you have to, first try to
figure out where all the shops and eating establishments are, being
an American: once you can forage you'll probably feel more relaxed
and we'll notice that. :-) Another great way to avoid looking lost
is knowing a few things about Europe. Clue: it's not much different
from the USA.
22. Leave all your pistols home (they're illegal here.)
23. Be polite. If someone helps you that is just out of his goodness,
and not your right to demand as "an American". Try to show you appreciate
the trouble someone is putting in for you by trying to limit that
trouble: pay close attention when people talk to you. Don't over do the
thank-you's afterwards.
24. Figure out in which parts of Europe waiters expect a tip and in which
they don't, and how much. In Holland it is not costume, though it will
be appreciated.
25. Don't wear the American flag, don't wear articles with "sports" written
on them. We may wear them, but if you do that is too much of a giveaway.
26. NEVER walk to the fridge in someone else's home, and take what you need
not even with friends (unless they're American).
If you want something, say something like "shouldn't we get something
to eat ?". Or "I'm thirsty, can i drink something ?." Or "I'm thirsty,
do you have some water ?".
27. When you go to the McDonald's, order medium or small drink, not large.
28. Don't be seen drinking soft-drinks at all in public. Drink coffee or tea
instead. When you want to eat in public, emphasize the coziness of the
experience, not the feeding frenzy.
29. Don't be too hysterical.
--
John P. Mullen
"American," so there is no point in trying to hide it.
In general, people don't mind you being an "American" as much as people
mind being insulted. Pay attention to people and be courteous and
people will reciprocate.
John Mullen
Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
>
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> 3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
MrMoor
If someone has a problem with that then that is their own problem not
yours.
While In Europe stick in white, Christian, European zones, avoid
ghettos, Arabs or anyone who looks a little dusky, wears a long shirt
and is ticking.
If in Britain avoid parts of big cities, such as Manningham in
Bradford, Glodwick in Oldham, anywhere in Birmingham etc, they have
many Muslims and the police are not allowed to give assistance if you
are accosted.
You should in general be OK in Europe with Europeans and the British.
Good luck.
devil
> On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 13:35:30 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, "The Rifleman"
> <st...@nospamdaily3747.btnet.com> arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :
>
>
> ... > I was watching him on telly at the D-Day remembrance yesterday. He
> ... > looked like a grinning loon!
> ...
> ... He is an inbred grinning loon and so is his shitty son for going to play
> ... golf instead of going to normandy.
>
> William is playing golf ??
Can Billy really play?
The Independent
Marginal comment on a letter, from the Russian Chancellor Gorchakov.
Otto Von Bismarck November 1876,
The Independent of Clackamas County, Oregon
"The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of
speeches and majority decisions ... but by iron and blood."
(Otto Von Bismarck, Speech, Sept. 30, 1862.)
abelard
typed:
>Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
>anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
depends on the country....
in some, the best thing for you to do would be to paint
a broad yellow stripe down your back.....
or perhaps you are already provided....
if you don't know in which countries this is appropriate...stay home....
--
web site at www.abelard.org - news and comment service, logic,
energy, education, politics, etc >750,000 document calls yearly
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all that is necessary for [] walk quietly and carry
the triumph of evil is that [] a big stick.
good people do nothing [] trust actions not words
only when it's funny -- roger rabbit
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bigot
> On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
> <st...@nospamdaily3747.btnet.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >> >
> >> >Any other suggestions?
> >>
> >> Grow some balls and walk like a man
> >
> >That is something we Brits would respect.
> >
> >
>
> What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?
Hell no!, he didn't walk he minced:-)))))))
Ryan B
"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Any other suggestions?
What assaults on American tourists? I spend three months a year in Europe
and have never seen this. You should stay home until you grow some balls.
Your disgusting and an embarrassment to all real Americans.
Ryan
The Rifleman
"Bigot" <som...@microshaft.com> wrote in message
news:2igp6dF...@uni-berlin.de...
Frank White
>
>Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
>anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
>That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
>from being a target:
>
>1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
>away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
>should help keep me out of trouble.
>2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
>or desperation.
>4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
>meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
>6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
>7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
>coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
>9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
>"cigarrette"
>10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
>Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
>little Canadian flag pin.
>
>Any other suggestions?
Don't do any of the above. Instead, shave your head, wear
grungy clothes, spill cheap beer all over yourself, talk
REALLY LOUD in an incomprenhsible accent and shout a lot...
And everyone will assume you're just another soccer hooligan
and ignore you.
Except for the police, who may arrest you and beat the snot
out of you on general principles.
FW
BfB
"The Rifleman" <st...@nospamdaily3747.btnet.com> wrote in message
news:c9v2fk$2lo$1...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk...
It makes them look dishonest, sneaky, biased, lying, racist,
money grubbing, and it also makes them smell, really bad.
BfB
BfB
"JohnT" <johnSPAMN...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:2ig6ghF...@uni-berlin.de...
>
> "Mike O'sullivan" <mike.os...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
> news:c9ujs3$8q$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> >
> > "Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> > > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> > > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> > > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> > > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
> > >
> > > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> > > from being a target:
> > >
> > > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> > > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> > > should help keep me out of trouble.
> > > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> > > or desperation.
> > > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> > > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> > > 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> > > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> > > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> > > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> > > "cigarrette"
> > > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> > > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> > > little Canadian flag pin.
> >
> > 12. Eat green vegetables openly
> > 13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
> >
> 14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local
currency.
> 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
> 16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
> 17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout
"fill
> the bar".
>
> JohnT
>
18. Get an insert that makes you look as if you have two teeth.
BfB
BfB
"Welsh Witch" <w...@nospam.never.cop> wrote in message
news:pan.2004.06.06....@nospam.never.cop...
>
> > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
> >
> > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> > from being a target:
> >
> > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> > should help keep me out of trouble.
> > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> > or desperation.
> > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
> > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> > 6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
> > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> > "cigarrette"
> > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> > little Canadian flag pin.
> >
> ************************************************************
> Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
> in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
> abroad:-)
> Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
> on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
> would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
> I think
> you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
> people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
> Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
> holiday...
Since the times I first visited Wales, I've never confused it with anything
English.
BfB
Panhandler
@yahoo.com says...
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business =3F When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking =3F especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Any other suggestions?
Put your head into a wood chipper,the transformation is astounding
BWWWWWUUUHHHHHUUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
==== This is YOUR Britain ====
=== Don't let THEM steal it from you ===
************ www.bnp.org.uk ************
BfB
> On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, macu...@yahoo.com (Mean Mr Mustard)
> wrote:
>
> >Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> >a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> >sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> >I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> >anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> tourists?
>
Ugly sentiments sting American tourists
By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY
As an A-list celebrity, actor Vince Vaughn employs an array of weapons to
cope with hecklers, from a Saharan wit to a waiting limo.
But during a movie shoot recently in England, Vaughn found himself
repeatedly reaching for the same comeback. Three totemic words from the
attic of history: the Marshall Plan.
"I'd say one in three conversations wound up the same way, basically that
'America is the devil.' So I'd ask folks to think about the Marshall Plan a
bit and get back to me," says Vaughn, 32, referring to the Allied blueprint
for the reconstruction of Europe after World War II. "In the end, though, I
just had to tell people, 'I'm not having this discussion anymore.' "
But if you're heading overseas, be prepared to have it. Again and again. If
the past 100 years were widely considered the American Century, this new one
is fast shaping up as the Anti-American Century.
http://tinyurl.com/6twj
One of thousands.
BfB
Stephen Glynn
> "Mike O'sullivan" <mike.os...@nowhere.com> wrote in message
> news:c9ujs3$8q$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
>
>>
>>11. Lose 200 pounds
>>12. Eat green vegetables openly
>>13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.
>>
>
> 14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local currency.
> 15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
> 16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
> 17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout "fill
> the bar".
>
> JohnT
>
>
18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your fork.
Steve
Stuart Grey
news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com:
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading
> to Europe on a business trip this summer. Now my primary
> concern is just making sure I get through this trip and
> back to the US safely in one piece. I figure this will be a
> challenging task with all the reports of anti-American
> protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will
> prevent me from being a target:
< snip >
> Any other suggestions?
Yeah. You could do the “land of the free, home of the brave”
thing and be a proud American. You may die, son, but don’t
die in fear.
There are a zillion ways to spot you as an America, from how
you hold your fork, to how you cross your legs. If you stink
of an American deodorant, you’re spotted. The German’s made a
sport of picking out American spies in Europe during WW II.
There are subtle cultural differences that you are not going
to be able to learn in time to blend in well. Don’t even
bother. You’ll stink of fear if you do, and that, more than
anything else, will draw attention to you.
Peter File
> > 18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
> > rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
> > the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your
fork.
> >
> Hide the children Mary, he's having steak!
I hope you havn't been watching Deadwood...
Rick
"Be what you is, not what you is not." :-)
BfB
"Peter File" <ted_mau...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:2ig3ofF...@uni-berlin.de...
> > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
> >
> > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> > from being a target:
> >
> > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> > should help keep me out of trouble.
> > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> > or desperation.
> > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> > 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> > "cigarrette"
> > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> > Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> > little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Try to remember that in Europe we don't have 30lb steaks for dinner.
> Drive a car that is more economical then a 15 ton SUV that does around 10
> gallons to the mile.
> When entering a sports bar, never ask if thay can put on the baseball.
>
Wow, you've got a well researched opinion of the average
American. <snicker>
BfB
a s t a _l3@hotmail.com Hasta
> > Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
> > tourists?
> >
> Ugly sentiments sting American tourists
> By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY
>
> 'America is the devil.'
>
>
> the past 100 years were widely considered the American Century, this new one
> is fast shaping up as the Anti-American Century.
> http://tinyurl.com/6twj
>
Ho, sure... But people who criticize Bush and other americans for
unjustified, excessive use of physical force are not going to use
force themselves, usually.
Looks like violent people just cannot imagine others may really
be different...
Stephen Glynn
> "JohnT" wrote
>
>
>>15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
>
>
> Wrong way round.
>
> UK McD's don't serve beer.
>
> Mind you, they barely serve edible food either - or is that McD's in
> general?
>
>
>
They do, or so I'm told, sell beer in some French and German McD's.
I've never tested the truth of this since they sell beer in lots of
other places in France and Germany, too.
Steve
Stephen Glynn
> On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 11:10:03 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, Padraig Breathnach
> <padr...@MUNGEDiol.ie> arranged some electrons, so they looked like this :
>
> ... "pencil" <pencil...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
> ...
> ... >
> ... >"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> ... >news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> ...
> ... >> Any other suggestions?
> ... >
> ... >Lose about 25 stones.
> ... >
> ... That doesn't mean "get your rocks off". Brits have quaint systems of
> ... weights and measures.
>
> 25 stones = 158.7573 Kg.
>
Don't try to confuse Americans by using metric. Twenty five stone = 350lb.
Steve
BfB
> And I still say leave your American kids at home:o)
>
That one I have to agree with. Except for my grandson, who is
at four, already an experienced world traveler, and a well behaved
representative of America. (imho)
BfB
Certic
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> 3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> little Canadian flag pin.
>
> Any other suggestions?
Wearing a ten gallon hat and addressing people as "buddy" while chewing gum
would probably be a bad idea. Another bad move would be assuming that Europe
consists entirely of south-east England, as you have done.
--
You are Not entering Chapeltown.
We walk on two legs, the one abstract
the other surreal.
All important political action should be
aimed at persuading people of the
necessity of further sacrifices.
- Ardian Vehbiu, "Handbook for
Aspiring Stalinists"
--
BfB
"Magda" <frog...@hanmail.com> wrote in message
news:9ir5c0tpbms1nnd3l...@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 11:10:03 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, Padraig
Breathnach
> <padr...@MUNGEDiol.ie> arranged some electrons, so they looked like this
:
>
> ... "pencil" <pencil...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
> ...
> ... >
> ... >"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> ... >news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> ...
> ... >> Any other suggestions?
> ... >
> ... >Lose about 25 stones.
> ... >
> ... That doesn't mean "get your rocks off". Brits have quaint systems of
> ... weights and measures.
>
>
A. Pismo Clam
wrote:
>Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
>anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
>That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
>from being a target:
>
>1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
>away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
>should help keep me out of trouble.
>2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
>3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
>or desperation.
>4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
>meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
>5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
>6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
>7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
>8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
>coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
>9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
>"cigarrette"
>10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
>Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
>little Canadian flag pin.
>
>Any other suggestions?
Never refer to your trousers as pants.
Better yet; wear a kilt.
Peter File
Bloody hell, this thread is only meant to be a bit of fun. I hate all people
equally, whether American, French, German, Algerian, Thai..................
On-Liner
"Stephen Glynn" wrote
Probably. It's just the UK where the Government is stupid enough to think
that it's fine to drink beer in the half of the building designated as a bar
but not in the other half because it's designated as a food retailer. You
know, like it makes a difference.
.
PTRAVEL
"John P. Mullen" <jomu...@zianet.com> wrote in message
news:40C326E7...@zianet.com...
> It is obvious from your lest and probably you demeanor that you are an
> "American," so there is no point in trying to hide it.
What is obvious from his post is that he is a troll.
What is obvious from your post is that you're a xenophobic bigot.
>
> In general, people don't mind you being an "American" as much as people
> mind being insulted. Pay attention to people and be courteous and
> people will reciprocate.
>
> John Mullen
>
> Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
> >
> > Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> > a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> > sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> > I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> > anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
> >
> > That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> > from being a target:
> >
> > 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> > away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> > should help keep me out of trouble.
> > 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> > 3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
> > or desperation.
> > 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> > meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> > 5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
> > 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> > 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> > 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
> > coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> > 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> > "cigarrette"
> > 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Padraig Breathnach
>
>"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
>> Any other suggestions?
>
>
>What assaults on American tourists? I spend three months a year in Europe
>and have never seen this. You should stay home until you grow some balls.
>Your disgusting and an embarrassment to all real Americans.
>
I'd prefer an American who attempts to amuse to one who fails to see a
joke.
--
PB
The return address has been MUNGED
Gunner
wrote:
>On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
>
>> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
>> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
>> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
>> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
>> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>>
>> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
>> from being a target:
>>
>> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
>> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
>> should help keep me out of trouble.
>> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
>> 3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
>> or desperation.
>> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
>> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
>> 5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
>> 6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
>> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
>> 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
>> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
>> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
>> "cigarrette"
>> 10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
>> Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
>> little Canadian flag pin.
>>
>> Any other suggestions?
>************************************************************
>Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
>in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
>abroad:-)
> Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
>on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
>would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
>I think
>you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
>people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
>Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
>holiday...
>***************************
Wales is very nice. Just dont try to pronounce any of the place
names. While the resulting trip to the hospitals emergency ward will
be free..its so undignified when they use a crowbar to straighten out
your jaw and tounge and a mallet to adjust the crossed eyes.
Some mighty pretty women in Wales also, though I couldnt say how their
bedroom arts are.
Gunner
That rifle hanging on the wall of the working-class flat or labourer's
cottage is the symbol of democracy. It is our job to see that it stays
there.
- George Orwell
John P. Mullen
Well, I've seen similar stupid laws here, in the USA, too.
John Mullen
westprog
"On-Liner" <peterp...@pickledpepper.com> wrote in message
news:2ih1nbF...@uni-berlin.de...
...
> Probably. It's just the UK where the Government is stupid enough to think
> that it's fine to drink beer in the half of the building designated as a
bar
> but not in the other half because it's designated as a food retailer. You
> know, like it makes a difference.
FSVO UK.
Dublin supermarkets now have delays while the 17-year-old checkout girl has
to call her supervisor to sell a bottle of wine. If she celebrates the end
of her shift by getting legless on cider that's a different matter.
J/
SOTW: "Shake Some Action" - The Flaming Groovies
westprog
> On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 17:41:48 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, Stephen Glynn
> <stephe...@ntlworld.com> arranged some electrons, so they looked like
this :
>
> ...
> ... Don't try to confuse Americans by using metric. Twenty five stone =
350lb.
> ...
> ... Steve
>
> I'm always amazed that they count the *time* like the rest of us...
They don't. Notice how it's 9/11, not 11/9.
westprog
"jos boersema" <jo...@mraha.kitenet.net> wrote in message
news:40c323cd$0$6795$e4fe...@news.xs4all.nl...> <snip>
> >10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
> >Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
> >little Canadian flag pin.
> >
> >Any other suggestions?
>
> help me, I'm an American". Buy a good map, buy a compass.
That's all well and good, but European cities don't have things like a
street that heads West. The block system doesn't apply.
Trouble is, that's as much a problem with directions as with maps.
...
> 23. Be polite. If someone helps you that is just out of his goodness,
> and not your right to demand as "an American". Try to show you
appreciate
> the trouble someone is putting in for you by trying to limit that
> trouble: pay close attention when people talk to you. Don't over do
the
> thank-you's afterwards.
Americans are polite, in their own terms (of course, that means something
different in NY to NM).
In fact, most people are polite. They just seem rude to people who come from
somewhere else.
> 24. Figure out in which parts of Europe waiters expect a tip and in which
> they don't, and how much. In Holland it is not costume, though it will
> be appreciated.
Nobody objects to being tipped, except sometimes the police.
...
Cletus
on the back. Meaning, "I'm a white Anglo, even though I have no European
accent I'm and NOT AMERICAN."
After all, Canadians are European, not North Americans. Just look at there
money.
God save the queen!
--
http://home.earthlink.net/~harp357/
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."
- Jebidiah Springfield
______________________________________
All outgoing messages scanned to be virus free
by NIS 2004.
"Mean Mr Mustard" <macu...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ef808dff.0406...@posting.google.com...
> Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
> a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
> sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
> I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
> anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.
>
> That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
> from being a target:
>
> 1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
> away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
> should help keep me out of trouble.
> 2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
> 3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
> or desperation.
> 4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
> meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
> 5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
> 6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
> 7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
> 8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
> coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
> 9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
> "cigarrette"
Madra Dubh
"Rick" <notgi...@alltel.net> wrote in message
news:40C34793...@alltel.net...
> I'll just be me wherever I go.
> "Be what you is, not what you is not." :-)
"I've just gotta be me!"
BfB
"Turlough" <Turl...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:40C3001E...@comcast.net...
> pencil wrote:
>
> >
> > Lose about 25 stones.
>
>
> If the average Yank lost 25 stone, he'd fall through his arsehole and
> hang himself. 20 years ago or so, I spotted a McDonalds in Dublin. I
> recall saying to my wife, "Give them a generation or two, and the
> Europeans will be sporting the huge arses they accuse us of." I should
> have taken up fortune telling...
>
>
> Turlough
>
<snickle>
BfB
"Padraig Breathnach" <padr...@MUNGEDiol.ie> wrote in message
news:or26c0lh12sq0mqpg...@4ax.com...
> Turlough <Turl...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
> >If the average Yank lost 25 stone, he'd fall through his arsehole and
> >hang himself. 20 years ago or so, I spotted a McDonalds in Dublin. I
> >recall saying to my wife, "Give them a generation or two, and the
> >Europeans will be sporting the huge arses they accuse us of." I should
> >have taken up fortune telling...
> >
>
> --
The fat asses don't take responsibility. The lawyers take the cases.
McDonalds takes the hit.
BfB
BfB
"Madra Dubh" <cca...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:ZVEwc.13771$Gx4....@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...> news:40C31055...@comcast.net...
> > Padraig Breathnach wrote:
> > > Turlough <Turl...@comcast.net> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >>If the average Yank lost 25 stone, he'd fall through his arsehole and
> > >>hang himself. 20 years ago or so, I spotted a McDonalds in Dublin. I
> > >>recall saying to my wife, "Give them a generation or two, and the
> > >>Europeans will be sporting the huge arses they accuse us of." I should
> > >>have taken up fortune telling...
> > >>
> > >
> > > So you suggest that it is McDonald's that are responsible?
> >
> >
> > studies on 2nd and 3rd generation Oriental-Am's has shown that the
> > change to a western diet was a leading factor in increased cases of
> > obesity and diabetes among that group. Urbanization, which usually leads
> > to a decrease in normal daily exercise, and poverty are also relevant
> > factors.
>
> But also increased height, Turlough, at least among the Japanese.
> Must have something to do with good red meat.
>
Yao Ming may disagree. (or was that Ming Yao?)
BfB
BfB
BfB
BfB
BfB