Official Date of Rapture: May 21, 2011. Believe it!
Uh-huh
The sooner the better.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/01/BA8V1AV589.DTL&feed=rss.news
Also, repubs. Don't get too giddy about recapturing Congress in '10!
Barack Hussein Bohica
The Mayans are gonna be pissed when they show up 19 months late for
the end of the world...
hal lillywhite
<CharlieFoxt...@whitehouse.gov> wrote:
> The Mayans are gonna be pissed when they show up 19 months late for
> the end of the world...
Saw a cartoon showing a couple of guys dressed as the Mayans might
have dressed. One has a hammer and chisel and is making their
calendar stone. He says something to the effect of, "I don't have any
more room. People are going to get worried when the calendar expires."
gb
<thylacole...@comcast.net> wrote:
>And, since you won't be needing your money anymore, send it all to me.
>The sooner the better.
Take out a Rapture Option.
Channel Cast
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> You should really find another set of friends. ;)
"Not my friends, clearly. Never used one, and wouldn't. Have
considered, once I'm well into my dotage, taking one of the target
rifles and a Gillie Suit into the woods, and simply offing a bunch of
them as far from anything as is possible.
Society would suffer no great loss thereby, seems to me."
=================================================================================
The Ugly Republican Brand is Dead
"gb" <g...@amusenet.com> wrote in message
news:0cl1k51opdppumg0s...@4ax.com...
There's a future in Rapture Options!
Channel Cast
Good luck EVER "bowing out" of being a troll.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hahaha! It took me a couple of years but I did it! I trashed your newsgroup.
Filled it with spam. Drove away the old timers. Brought chaos to stupidity!
I did it!
I win!
You lose!
Cowgirls SUCK!
Pwned!
Go Niners!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Kirk Reynolds
Newsgroups: alt.sports.football.pro.dallas-cowboys
11/24/2009 10:35 PM
Messg. ID: <heifmr$669$1...@news.eternal-september.org>
gb
Could be -- but only on a secondary market, not a primary.
What would it be worth to hold the Rapture Option on someone like Oral
Roberts' Stuff, for example?
Curt
> And, since you won't be needing your money anymore, send it all to me.
> Also, repubs. Don't get too giddy about recapturing Congress in '10!
Crap.. and I invested all my money in "I Survived The Mayan
Apocalypse" tshirts..
Curt
Curt
> >And, since you won't be needing your money anymore, send it all to me.
> >The sooner the better.
>
> Take out a Rapture Option.
And I'd better find a nice Moslem couple to feed Rocky the Dachshund..
just in case.
Curt
Channel Cast
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> What would it be worth to hold the Rapture Option on someone like Oral
> Roberts' Stuff, for example?
Mark Time
> g
You are a little dick bitch who feels like it is his civic duty as
a Usenet troll to place his nose firmly in the sphincters of those he
dislikes every time they post. They all own you, Jeffy.
Channel Cast
Har, a poodle with his own dachsund, funy...
Bill Shatzer
Do you suppose that there's a serious possibility that YOU will be raptured?
I'm thinking the theology of the thing mandates that you (and I) will be
among the left behinds.
Which is fine with me. YMMV.
peace and justice,
Yer Pal Al
You guys are already a couple of left behinds.
Curt
You never know. I worry I'll get to heaven and find out that really
what matters was how nice you were to the neighborhood cats, or
something.
Curt
Curt
Well, Rocky's about a half a million years old. He's happy to bite dog
biscuits, but as far as aggressive, he can't be bothered.
>
> Har, a poodle with his own dachsund, funy...
I don't get it.
Curt
gb
wrote:
Or you might find Scratch there ahead of you, and come to realize
you'd have to spend Eternity with him.
clw
gb <g...@amusenet.com> wrote:
Check outMark Twain's"Letters from the Earth" for what may be the best
description of "heaven".
tdny
Curt
> On Tue, 5 Jan 2010 08:01:42 -0800 (PST), Curt <obadiahly...@gmail.com>
Dunno. If you're in heaven, do you have to avoid talking religion or
politics anymore?
Curt
gb
wrote:
> If you're in heaven, do you have to avoid talking religion or
>politics anymore?
There are some who limit activity to harp-flanging and prize-sanging
for the purpose of Lowered Prizing.
As heavens go, doesn't sound terribly userful to me.
The CoJCoLDS offers a Much better deal. Check it out, when you get a
chance.
Curt
> On Tue, 5 Jan 2010 14:19:43 -0800 (PST), Curt <obadiahly...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > If you're in heaven, do you have to avoid talking religion or
> >politics anymore?
>
> There are some who limit activity to harp-flanging and prize-sanging
> for the purpose of Lowered Prizing.
>
> As heavens go, doesn't sound terribly userful to me.
>
> The CoJCoLDS offers a Much better deal. Check it out, when you get a
> chance.
Actually, the Pastafarians have the best deal. Their heaven has a
stripper factory and a beer volcano.
Curt
hal lillywhite
> Or you might find Scratch there ahead of you, and come to realize
> you'd have to spend Eternity with him.
I dreamt death came the other night
And Heaven's gate swung wide.
An angel with a halo bright
Ushered me inside.
And there! To my astonishment
Stood folks I'd judged and labeled
As quite unfit, of little worth,
And spiritually disabled.
Indignant words rose to my lips
But never were set free,
For every face showed stunned surprise
Not one expected me!
cop welfare
'Saw a cartoon showing a couple of guys dressed as the Mayans might
have dressed. One has a hammer and chisel and is making their
calendar stone. He says something to the effect of, "I don't have
any
more room. People are going to get worried when the calendar
expires." ' - anecdotal evidnce
say, thas really funny.
you a consoivative?
*us*
They were bred to hunt badger.
A badger would have you on the ground screaming for your mommy.
Von Hindenberg
Retract your TREASON:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Bill Shatzer wrote:
And over 4,000 Americans have paid with their lives for that little
adventure. Plus a half a trillion dollars in national treasure
You might compare that with the number of lives lost on 9-11. Or the
economic injury incurred from that event.
It would have been cheaper in both lives and money to just suffer
another 9-11 every six or seven years.
Peace and justice,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Von Hindenberg
Retract your TREASON:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Bill Shatzer wrote:
And over 4,000 Americans have paid with their lives for that little
adventure. Plus a half a trillion dollars in national treasure
You might compare that with the number of lives lost on 9-11. Or the
economic injury incurred from that event.
It would have been cheaper in both lives and money to just suffer
another 9-11 every six or seven years.
Peace and justice,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Von Hindenberg
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> You should really find another set of friends. ;)
"Not my friends, clearly. Never used one, and wouldn't. Have
considered, once I'm well into my dotage, taking one of the target
rifles and a Gillie Suit into the woods, and simply offing a bunch of
them as far from anything as is possible.
Society would suffer no great loss thereby, seems to me."
=================================================================================
Von Hindenberg
> As heavens go, doesn't sound terribly userful to me.
>
==================================================================================
Von Hindenberg
> On Jan 4, 10:12 pm, Bill Shatzer <ww...@NOcornell.edu> wrote:
>> Curt wrote:
>>> On Jan 3, 9:39 am, gb <g...@amusenet.com> wrote:
>>>> On Sat, 2 Jan 2010 15:37:31 -0800 (PST), Uh-huh
>>>> <thylacoleo-carni...@comcast.net> wrote:
>>>>> And, since you won't be needing your money anymore, send it all to me.
>>>>> The sooner the better.
>>>> Take out a Rapture Option.
>>> And I'd better find a nice Moslem couple to feed Rocky the Dachshund..
>>> just in case.
>> Do you suppose that there's a serious possibility that YOU will be raptured?
>>
>> I'm thinking the theology of the thing mandates that you (and I) will be
>> among the left behinds.
>>
>> Which is fine with me. YMMV.
>
> You never know. I worry I'll get to heaven
Don't.
Von Hindenberg
Fact regardless.
>
>> Har, a poodle with his own dachsund, funy...
>
> I don't get it.
>
> Curt
He does.
Von Hindenberg
Reunions are so touching...
Mal Ware
Mal Ware
Mal Ware
> R
Mal Ware
> R
Barack Hussein Bohica
>> R
Aww! Kirk's pretending to be a pirate!
Quick - somebody get a plank...
Curt
You could sing that to either "The Yellow Rose Of Texas" or the
"Gilligan's Island" theme song.
Curt
gb
The CoJCoLDS doesn't have Quite the same take on Heaven as do the more
fundy sorts of Xtian sects, does it?
gb
wrote:
>On Jan 5, 2:39�pm, gb <g...@amusenet.com> wrote:
Most strippers I've seen appear to have been rode hard and put away
wet. Beer is interesting, but not for long.
More variety is in order.
(And fwiw, been doing some reading of various approaches to the
afterlife within Holy Tomesfrom several of the major organized
superstitions in the world. Time to correct a misperception that is
far too widespread:
* The Q'ran itself nowhere promises 72 virgins to martyrs. It's just
not in there.
* That comes from writings within the hadith -- the commentaries on
the Q'ran that comprise a collection of quite literally thousands of
volumes. Judaism and Xtianity also have a similar set of commentaries
as well.
* That hadithic interpretation itself may well be the result of a
mistranslation -- a misplacing of the dots that are so critical in
several ancient forms of written Arabic -- such that the promise is
Not 72 virgins, but rather the promise of cool grapes!
* Which may make some folks doubt it, but it turns out that there's a
Syrian Orthodox set of religious images that provide precisely the
same thing -- pictures of Xtian saints welcoming sould into Heaven and
giving them grapes in the process.
* Which is not all that surprising from any Middle Eastern
superstition - grapes are dependent on sufficient water to thrive, and
that commodity is scarce in desert climes.
Interesting, huh?)
We now return you to the regular entertainment, already in progress.
hal lillywhite
Nope but the concept is still in our society and common enough to be
used in pretty much all the western world. I happened to know the
author of that poem long ago and she is LDS. However she prefers to
remain anonymous so I'll respect that desire.
gb
<hlil...@juno.com> wrote:
>On Jan 6, 10:08�am, gb <g...@amusenet.com> wrote:
>> The CoJCoLDS doesn't have Quite the same take on Heaven as do the more
>> fundy sorts of Xtian sects, does it?
>
>Nope
Indeed, nope. The LDSers offer a Much better deal than do the Fundies.
>... but the concept is still in our society
Concepts -- plural, not singular. There are many different concepts
of a Heaven used for superstitious marketing purposes. Having each of
them be correct would be a Fascinating discussion of superstitious
relativism -- which is in itself considered a heresy by some
superstitions.
>...and common enough to be used in pretty much all the western world.
And the Eastern World as well, with the possible exception of the
Taoists and certain Buddhist sects.
>... I happened to know the
>author of that poem long ago and she is LDS. However she prefers to
>remain anonymous so I'll respect that desire.
As I said -- the LDS take on Heaven is different from the Xtian Fundy
types in many different ways. Y'all really Do make a better offer,
which is really good marketing!
Von Hindenberg
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> Interesting, huh?)
Von Hindenberg
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> You should really find another set of friends. ;)
"Not my friends, clearly. Never used one, and wouldn't. Have
considered, once I'm well into my dotage, taking one of the target
rifles and a Gillie Suit into the woods, and simply offing a bunch of
them as far from anything as is possible.
Society would suffer no great loss thereby, seems to me."
=================================================================================
> The CoJCoLDS doesn't have Quite the same take on Heaven as do the more
Von Hindenberg
==================================================================================
gb wrote:
dated: 10/8/2009
Sender: g...@amusenet.com
<ubisc5h6ti7g43kg0...@4ax.com>
> You should really find another set of friends. ;)
"Not my friends, clearly. Never used one, and wouldn't. Have
considered, once I'm well into my dotage, taking one of the target
rifles and a Gillie Suit into the woods, and simply offing a bunch of
them as far from anything as is possible.
Society would suffer no great loss thereby, seems to me."
=================================================================================
Curt
Or "Stairway to Heaven"..
Curt
Mark Time
again couldn't think of anything worthwhile to post.
Do you ever have anything of substance, or interest, to say?
Mark Time
> g