An end to the "poor design" argument
r norman
It turns out God is merely a figurehead deity, not all that omniscient
and put into office by covert power groups. The real power lies with
the ViceGod. When the decision was made to create a universe in six
days, including all earthly life in about three days, the ViceGod
contracted out the job to his old buddies at Halliburton. They, of
course, had no ability to actually do the work but knew exactly how to
get it done, making a handsome profit out of it. They couldn't hire
real "employees" because of silly workplace rules and so subcontracted
it to a group of independent consultants. These were all Asian, of
course, including Indians, Chinese (plus Taiwanese) and Malaysians
because nobody else would work for the paltry fees Halliburton was
offering. These people, contrary to popular misconception, were
actually exceptionally intelligent and clever and highly skilled
workers.
One team was assigned the "swimmeth in the waters" task. However
after six hours of very successful work, the boss called them in
exclaiming, "Hey, we just also got the creepeth and crawleth bid!".
After the appropriate grumbling about how the sales people didn't
understand the first thing about actually getting the job done, they
seized on the bright idea of just taking the swimmeth beasties and
modifying them as little as possible, making full use of the gill
supports and the paired pelvic and pectoral fins and the swim
bladders. Somebody in testing then called back saying there was a
real problem with salt and water balance when you put the things on
land instead of water. "Oh, shit!" they exclaimed, and installed
another osmotic regulatory system.
The next day, while they were on a well deserved break, the boss
called them in again. "Change of plans -- the Big Guy is very happy
with thingies crawling all about but now got it into His Head that He
wants a new thingie in His own Image. You got 24 hours to do the
job." Back to work, this time even more desperate. Every kludge and
trick was necessary. At the last moment came the new specifications,
"Most be capable of producing urine more concentrated than own body
fluid". OK, back to the drawing board. Rig something up, stuff it in
the body, and hope nobody notices!
On the sixth day, they shoved what they had out the door and held
their breath in anticipation. It all seemed to go well and as a
special bonus, they got the seventh day off as a paid vacation. "Hey,
don't the people in charge realize that we pawned off a version that
didn't even make beta test?" they gasped in amazement. "Hell, that
one didn't even go through alpha! Wait until it gets challenged
morally -- it won't get to first base in any test of faithful
obedience to commands." Back came the answer, "the body is likely to
fall apart after a short time anyway, so it doesn't matter. The only
important thing is that we got something out that the customer bought
and we got paid!" God, of course, was already focused on future
plans; a deluge, an awful lot of smiting, and the sequel: "Son of
God". ViceGod, as expected, didn't care in the slightest. He got his
kickback from Halliburton who was already named as prime contractor
for all future projects on a no-questions cost-plus basis.
Anyone here who actually has designed and produced a real product
under real conditions will easily recognize this story and sympathize
with the plight of real designers. So much for the "poor design"
argument. It does not in any way rule out the "intelligent design"
notion.
Mark Evans
Ever see "Time Bandits"? The guys who actually built the Universe
complained that it was a rush job and had to be finished in less than
a week.
Mark Evans
Bob Casanova
in talk.origins, posted by r norman
<r_s_norman@_comcast.net>:
This all sounds eerily familiar...
--
Bob C.
"Evidence confirming an observation is
evidence that the observation is wrong."
- McNameless
William Morse
You forgot to mention the part about how, in order to keep some of the
chief angels happy, they had to award a few contracts to companies
other than Halliburton, so they had a separate contract for the crawleth
bid in Australia. Of course that company subcontracted to the same group
of independent consultants. The consultants knew there was no time to
come up with a whole different fauna, so they hit upon the brilliant
idea of using essentially the same designs and just making a minor
change to the reproductive system. But then they thought that was too
obvious, until someone said "I know - we'll make the big ones hop!" Of
course, the shipping department got the order screwed up and sent a
bunch of the Australian ones to South America by mistake.
Yours,
Bill Morse
r norman
I do believe we can get an awful lot of mileage from this thing! And
it certainly is a lot more reasonable and realistic than that other
story I read.
John Wilkins
> Listen up, people. Here is what really happened.
>
> It turns out God is merely a figurehead deity, not all that omniscient
> and put into office by covert power groups. The real power lies with
> the ViceGod. When the decision was made to create a universe in six
> days, including all earthly life in about three days, the ViceGod
> contracted out the job to his old buddies at Halliburton. They, of
Helliburton.
...
--
John S. Wilkins, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Philosophy
University of Queensland - Blog: scienceblogs.com/evolvingthoughts
"He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor,
bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious."
Paul J Gans
Thank you! Exceptionally fact filled and true.
--
--- Paul J. Gans
Paul J Gans
Don't listen to them. They inflated everything as soon as they
had it set up. Cheap job. Falling apart everywhere you look.
Mike Painter
I'm not sure this is true. Chapter Two og Genesis tells a different story
which fits better. They created a man first as described above. Then they
created the animals, even with low bids they got better at teh task as they
went along and learned from their mistakes. At the end they realized that
there was no good match between man and teh animals so created a female
version from what they could find of the original man plans.
Robert Carnegie
I think Adam gave up too quickly on the sheep.
Robert Carnegie
> Listen up, people. Here is what really happened.
>
> It turns out God is merely a figurehead deity, not all that omniscient
> and put into office by covert power groups. The real power lies with
> the ViceGod.
Did you hear that by his will, you can't find his dwelling-place in
Google Earth?
J. J. Lodder
> I'm not sure this is true. Chapter Two og Genesis tells a different story
> which fits better. They created a man first as described above. Then they
> created the animals, even with low bids they got better at teh task as they
> went along and learned from their mistakes. At the end they realized that
> there was no good match between man and teh animals so created a female
> version from what they could find of the original man plans.
There was no internet yet, so Adam couldn't know about
<www.adultsheepfinder.com>
Someone should have told him about this "good" aspect of the design,
Jan
John Wilkins
Walter Bushell
<a4f9959a-af2a-4c77...@34g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>,
Robert Carnegie <rja.ca...@excite.com> wrote:
It is nowhere stated the length of time Adam spent with each animal in
testing it. If he spent .1 second for each beetle it would have been
ages, or just think how long for the nematodes.
--
What is done in the heat of battle is (normatively) judged
by different standards than what is leisurely planned in
comfortable conference rooms.
Mike Painter
<snip>
> I think Adam gave up too quickly on the sheep.
I remember reading someplace that women were required to travel with men
when they were using llamas for transporting goods.
"Your mamas a llama" has a nice ring.
Mike Painter
> In article
<snip>
>> I think Adam gave up too quickly on the sheep.
>
> It is nowhere stated the length of time Adam spent with each animal in
> testing it. If he spent .1 second for each beetle it would have been
> ages, or just think how long for the nematodes.
And fish, don't get me started on fish.
Caranx latus
Fish as a first course? I shouldn't think so...
J. J. Lodder
FYA: English 'nit picking'
translates into Dutch as 'miereneuken'
(literally 'ant fucking')
Perhaps Adam tried that too,
Jan
David Wilson
April 30th Robert Carnegie <rja.ca...@excite.com> wrote:
> On Apr 29, 5:44 pm, r norman <r_s_norman@_comcast.net> wrote:
> > Listen up, people. Here is what really happened.
> >
> > It turns out God is merely a figurehead deity, not all that omniscient
> > and put into office by covert power groups. The real power lies with
> > the ViceGod.
>
> Did you hear that by his will, you can't find his dwelling-place in
> Google Earth? ...
No. I was under the impression that he had died intestate. But in
any case, surely they couldn't have obtained probate within the three days
it took for him to get better.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SPAMMERS_fingers@WILL_BE_fwi_PROSECUTED_.net.au
(Remove underlines and upper case letters to obtain my email address)
r norman
<see_sig@for_my.address> wrote:
>In article <0gie1450p8inu4ios...@4ax.com> in talk.origins on
>April 30th Robert Carnegie <rja.ca...@excite.com> wrote:
>
>> On Apr 29, 5:44 pm, r norman <r_s_norman@_comcast.net> wrote:
>> > Listen up, people. Here is what really happened.
>> >
>> > It turns out God is merely a figurehead deity, not all that omniscient
>> > and put into office by covert power groups. The real power lies with
>> > the ViceGod.
>>
>> Did you hear that by his will, you can't find his dwelling-place in
>> Google Earth? ...
>
>No. I was under the impression that he had died intestate.
Actually he is omnipresent. That means he had died interstate.
Rupert Morrish
> Mike Painter <mddotp...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>
>> I'm not sure this is true. Chapter Two og Genesis tells a different story
>> which fits better. They created a man first as described above. Then they
>> created the animals, even with low bids they got better at teh task as they
>> went along and learned from their mistakes. At the end they realized that
>> there was no good match between man and teh animals so created a female
>> version from what they could find of the original man plans.
>
> There was no internet yet, so Adam couldn't know about
> <www.adultsheepfinder.com>
That site is an insult to all New Zealanders - those sheep are being
exploited! Plus, they are playing tricks with IP geolocation - I am sure
most of the sheep on the page I was shown were nowhere near Auckland.
I've still had no response from TVNZ about my "Pimp My Tractor" concept...
>
> Someone should have told him about this "good" aspect of the design,
>
> Jan
>
>
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Mike Painter
> J. J. Lodder wrote:
>> Mike Painter <mddotp...@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>>
>>> I'm not sure this is true. Chapter Two og Genesis tells a different
>>> story which fits better. They created a man first as described
>>> above. Then they created the animals, even with low bids they got
>>> better at teh task as they went along and learned from their
>>> mistakes. At the end they realized that there was no good match
>>> between man and teh animals so created a female version from what
>>> they could find of the original man plans.
>>
>> There was no internet yet, so Adam couldn't know about
>> <www.adultsheepfinder.com>
>
> That site is an insult to all New Zealanders - those sheep are being
> exploited! Plus, they are playing tricks with IP geolocation - I am
> sure most of the sheep on the page I was shown were nowhere near
> Auckland.
> I've still had no response from TVNZ about my "Pimp My Tractor"
> concept...
inNew Zealand after being drafted.
A man, who is also a Ventriloquist is lost in the country and stops at a
farm house for directions. The farmer pays no attention to him so he decides
to have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?
Farmer: This dog don't talk!
Ventriloquist: Hey dog, how's it going?
Dog: Doin alright
Farmer: (Extreme look of shock)
Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (pointing at farmer)
Dog: Yep.
Ventriloquist: How's he treat you?
Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me
to the lake once a week to play.
Farmer: (Look of disbelief)
Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?
Farmer: Horses don't talk!
Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it goin?
Horse: Cool.
Farmer: (an even wilder look of shock)
Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (pointing at farmer)
Horse: Yep.
Ventriloquist: How's he treat you?
Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.
Farmer: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?
Farmer: (gesticulating wildly, and hardly able to talk)...... Them sheep
ain't nothin but liars!!!