Another startlingly on-topic "Onion" article (okay, editorial)
Louann Miller
Reply posters: please specify which degree of relative (aunt, older
sister, big-for-his-age cousin) was exactly like this when you were
growing up or is exactly like this now.
Louann "most recently my mother-in-law, but she was very tired at the
time" Miller
--
If God wanted us to believe we were related to chimpanzees,
he'd have given us DNA 95% identical to theirs.
Cyde Weys
> http://www.theonion.com/onion3925/its_not_nice.html
>
> Reply posters: please specify which degree of relative (aunt, older
> sister, big-for-his-age cousin) was exactly like this when you were
> growing up or is exactly like this now.
>
> Louann "most recently my mother-in-law, but she was very tired at the
> time" Miller
>
"It's Not Nice To Be Smarter Than Other People"
I can't think of anything ruder than people who have to be all brainy
and intelligent. As my mother used to say, if you can't say anything
mundane, don't say anything at all. She was right: It's not nice to be
smarter than other people.
Why did you have to say all that stuff about that book you're reading?
Would it have been so hard to keep your love of literature to yourself?
When you display your intelligence to the people you're talking to,
you're really just telling them that you don't have enough respect for
them to keep your smarts to yourself.
Reeling off a list of your favorite jazz artists may make you a good
parrot, but it doesn't make you a good person. Good people hold their
tongues, knowing they could hurt someone's feelings if they show
knowledge the other person doesn't have.
I'm sorry to have to set you straight, but most people don't speak
because they want to be educational. They speak because they want to be
nice. They have an interest in interacting with other people in a
non-confrontational manner that doesn't make them feel like dummies.
In other words, they just want to be friendly. What's friendly about
bringing up some article about the Mideast crisis you read in The New
York Times? Not much, that's for certain. No, it's friendlier to say
unchallenging things and let everyone feel like they know as much as you do.
There's more to life than being well-informed and cultured. There's good
graces, good manners, and good old-fashioned horse sense—especially when
it comes to knowing when to talk and when to keep your mouth shut. And,
let me tell you, you may know something about astronomy, but you could
certainly stand to learn a thing or two about politeness.
Do you think people want to hear your views on abstract art or the First
Amendment? No one wants to hear things they don't already know, because
that just makes them feel dumb.
I don't think it's your goal to try to make people feel stupid, but you
seem to have this fixation with sharing your intelligence with others.
That doesn't make any sense to me. Do you know how you sound when you do
that? When you say something like "I'm a big Kubrick fan," what people
hear is, "Look at me! I know things!" And nobody likes to hear that.
I don't know why you want to come off all smart and well-read, anyway.
Sure, with your head full of facts, you may seem to have the world at
your feet, but if you keep it up, you'll soon have no one to share it
with. Smart people are the loneliest people in the world. They don't
have anyone to talk to except other smart people, and who wants to join
a conversation between two smart people? No one I know.
So, if you want to keep the friends you have and maybe even make some
new ones, try being a little less of a know-it-all and a little more of
a know-it-some. I mean, would it really kill you to think the capital of
Illinois is Chicago? It could only help. Trust me.
--
Usenet is a strange reality where you see people beating up a patch of
grass where nine years ago there used to be a horse. -Nuke