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Chez Watt Ballot February 8, 2012
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Harvest Dancer
Feb 8, 2012, 1:34:09 PM2/8/12
to
As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
Jason Harvestdancer
======
When an irresistable force meets an immoveable jock category:
> > Last time I went to a boxing match they had to call it off, because a
> > hockey game broke out.
======
chez watt category = letter to the editor
>>> Bluff. The irony is that it takes intelligence to design an argument
>>> against Intelligent Design, but it takes enormous stupidity to be
>>> convinced by such an argument.
>> With a decent editor, there's a bumper sticker in there somewhere.
======
In the Proof Using Scriptures as Wanking Material Rots Your Brain
category:
> > > > > Thank you; all the innocent newborns deserved to die. That's
> > > > > sufficient answer, and proves my point.
> > > > You make so many assumptions. You assume there were newborns.
> > How can one *not* assume there weren't newborns in a society having
> > both males and females of breeding age?
> Given that they would rather shag the angels up the arse than have a
> good time with a couple of ripe virgins the probabilities that there
> were offspring from their sexual exploits is considerably reduced. I
> can see you haven't thought this one through very well have you.
> In any case the account is silent either way. All we can infer from
> the account is that everybody who died deserved to die. If you want to
> make Yhwh out to be a homo hater you would have better luck than with
> this baby killer theme which just doesn't really seem to be going
> anywhere.
======
In the category of coming out in a public newsgroup.
> Nope, she's right. A gay friend of mine used to reckon the difference
> between a straight bloke and a gay bloke was 6 pints. OK, he was
> exaggerating to make a joke, but the number of "100% straight" men he'd
> slept with was surprising.
======
In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
> challenge you to beat it.
======
In the category: "Nature Green in Tooth and Claw".
Or possibly in the category "There is a Teleology Coming to a Wildlife
Park Near You"
<snip>
> Did you really want to bring that up? Under what evolutionary pressure
> exactly do you imagine it becoming more advantageous to have to hunt
> for food than to be able to graze from grass and leaves? The world
> became a desert with only animals as food running around in it?
======
In the category of "I see you've earned the 'Playing with Fire'
badge."
>><http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2080050/Now-thats-chim-PAN-zee-M
>>eet-monkey-fry-burgers.html>
>>Points to the origin of the hominoid fire making? Almost there, and
>>IIUC, some human groups don't make fire, but keep a fire burning
>>constantly and if it goes out must get from another location.
>>I suppose we have enough ex boy scouts around that we could build fires
>>from scratch, not matches or lighters, which is something I never did
>>even when I leader of the Beaver Patrol.
> Considering what some Boy Scout leaders have been convicted of, ISTM a
> Beaver Patrol is a very healthy thing :)
======
In the "Flapjacks of Wrath" category....
>> Nope that was a bible misprint. Seth (i.e. Scotty) later used the
>> ships remaining tractor
>> beams and anti-grav units to lift the stones for the pyramids. where
>> he later was
>> called "Set" because the Egyptians didn't
>> have a "th" sound in their language. He also went by Imhotep, and went
>> on to found
>> a chain of pancake houses.
> I believe you're naturally confusing him with Ihoptep.
======
in Marianne Faithful's Broken English category...
> No scientists may not create information
======
The Golden Globes script.
<Ricky Gervais> And the winner of this year's "Lifetime Award for
Illeism" is...
<drumroll>
> So, there's this guy on the internet who claims to know what God
> believes better than his only Son. Who should I believe? Him? Or God's
> Son?
<RG> Well, holy moley. Or whatever. Unfortunately, JC's not here to
get nailed, sorry, what am I saying, /collect/ this magnificent cross
in person, but we've a videolink to Everest base camp. Hopefully,
he'll be able to say a few words before he sets off with a bare
arse... with a sherpa called barearsed... Sorry, these cue cards are
tiny. Sets off barefoot to the summit. Come in, JC!
======
In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
======
In the category "The t.o. distinction without a difference"
> And by "threat" I meant thread. That's a pretty embarrassing typo,
> haha.
======
In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
> > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
> Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
> The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
> used only as decoration.
======
In the "Damn, wish I'd come up with that" category :
>> When am I going to start seeing something conclusive???
> When you open your eyes. In other words, never.
======
In the "They Hate That" category:
> You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> morons.
======
In the "dribble glass half full" category:
> I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
======
In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
> The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
======
In the category: what has chemistry come to?
> A proton may have a "physical size" on
> the order of femtometers, but be unable to pass through a ring of carbon
> atoms without the electrons in the carbon ring trying to commit all
> sorts of chemistry on the proton.
======
Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
> Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
> these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
> Creation.
======
This is a Grade AAAA++++ to infinity prime-time
omygodreadthisyoucannotbeseriouswowmybrainhurts Chez Watt.
(I tried to make it anonymous by replacing the name with XXXXXXX, but
really, the person in question is so identifiable perhaps I shouldn't
have bothered.)
> > > See XXXXXXX, you just have to apply proper linguistics and you'll
> > > understand exactly where the olive branch came from. The highest land
> > > on earth is the Himalayan mountain range. And when the Flood covered
> > > the whole earth it just barely covered the top of the Himalayas. Now,
> > > just as the Nile used to be a lush tropical area full of papyrus, the
> > > top of the Himalayan mountain range used to have a mild, Mediterranean
> > > climate and to be full of olive trees. How can we know this?? Just
> > > look at the name Himalayas....
> > > well, in ancient Greek "himalis" means "abundant" and "elaios" means
> > > "wild olive"
> > > so himelaios (=Himalayas) means "abundant wild olives."
> > > So, obviously the tops of the abundant olive trees on the top of
> > > Everest were above the water level, and that's how the dove managed to
> > > find a live olive branch. It's so easy when you just learn about the
> > > history of languages and proper names...
> > So, you are helping prove what the Bible says, then.
> > It would have taken time for the water to get up to the level of the
> > Himalayas, and it would also be likely that the salinity of oceans had
> > diminished extremely, due
> > to the amount of fresh water coming from the springs
> > in the earth, plus the water from the skies, and so the
> > olive trees on the Himalays would not have likely died,
> > and in fact would still be probably producing or holding
> > onto it's fruit.
> > That's very intersting about the name of the"HImalayas"
> > and the name meaing "wild olive," "abundant" and
> > "olive." "Elaios" which you mention is interesting
> > and I can see how it converted into "Olea" which olive
> > species are also labeled. Thank you for your expertise.
> > You also mentioned that knowing linguistics could
> > have helped me as if you thought I knew nothing
> > about linguistics. I just know a little about linguistics
> > as a subject that helps people "predict" earlier
> > proto-languages. I know about larygeals, and
> > progressions of consonant variations. I also know
> > the meaning of the basis in such as Latin to many
> > words. I did not know the meaning of Himalayas
> > as a word meaning wild olive, though, so thank
> > you for your imformation.
> > I did have a shrub in my front yard that was called
> > a "Russian olive," which is a member of trees and
> > shrubs called "oleasters." I knew it was a mamber
> > of the olive trees, but didn't relate that to the name
> > Himalayas. When I studied languages, I found out
> > that all the vowels can form the "uh" sound, so I
> > would contribute here that "olea" even though we
> > say "Oh-lee-a" could have been pronounced as
> > "uh-lee-uh" and also "elaeos" could hav been
> > pronounced as "uh-lay-us," so I can see how
> > elaeos and olea could be the same pronunciation
> > in earlier langauges. The Koine Greek puts a
> > silent "s" on the end of words that end with a
> > vowel lound like Yeshua = Jesus and like
> > Jonah=Jonas. Not all Koine Gk. words ending in
> > a vowel sound get spealled that way, though, for
> > there was Noah=Noe. The "e" on the end of
> > Noe was prnounced "as an "uh" sound making
> > it phonetically being Noe pronounced No-uh. : )
> > I'm so glad you told me though about the name
> > "Himalayas." So, thanks.
> XXXXXXX, if there were an Olympic event in gullibility you'd win the
> gold medal easily. All that stuff about Himalayas meaning "abundant
> wild olives" I JUST MADE IT UP.
> Yes, I JUST MADE IT UP.
> And the reason I made it up was to show you how easy it is to generate
> such nonsense as your NARMER=NIMROD, and you Tubal = Tblisi stories,
> and many other things that you get from loony internet sites.
> Here's how it's done. Take a real fact that most people know, the
> Himalayas are the highest mountains on Earth. Add the Bible story
> about the flood and the olive branch. Then add a couple of true but
> obscure facts: It's true that elaios means olive in Greek (I
> remembered because it turns up in Homer from time to time). Then I
> looked through a Greek dictionary for words beginning with a rough
> breathing (=H), followed by a vowel and then a mu (M). I lucked out
> with "himalis" which really does mean abundant. If you look those up,
> you'll think I know what I'm talking about, and it will add
> credibility to what comes next.
> Then throw in some utter nonsense: It is ridiculous to think that the
> top of Mt Everest had a mild, Mediterranean climate a few thousand
> years ago, or to think that olive trees could grow there, or survive a
> year with their roots drowned in seawater.
> Then shake it all together and "Poof" and out comes a XXXXXXX,
> etymological archaeological special, bound to please.
> By the way the actual derivation for the name Himalaya is apparently
> from a Sanskrit word meaning "abode of snow." I don't know Sanskrit,
> so I cannot vouch for that, but there is a lot of snow up there, and
> not a wild olive in sight.
======
(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
Jason Harvestdancer
======
When an irresistable force meets an immoveable jock category:
> > Last time I went to a boxing match they had to call it off, because a
> > hockey game broke out.
======
chez watt category = letter to the editor
>>> Bluff. The irony is that it takes intelligence to design an argument
>>> against Intelligent Design, but it takes enormous stupidity to be
>>> convinced by such an argument.
>> With a decent editor, there's a bumper sticker in there somewhere.
======
In the Proof Using Scriptures as Wanking Material Rots Your Brain
category:
> > > > > Thank you; all the innocent newborns deserved to die. That's
> > > > > sufficient answer, and proves my point.
> > > > You make so many assumptions. You assume there were newborns.
> > How can one *not* assume there weren't newborns in a society having
> > both males and females of breeding age?
> Given that they would rather shag the angels up the arse than have a
> good time with a couple of ripe virgins the probabilities that there
> were offspring from their sexual exploits is considerably reduced. I
> can see you haven't thought this one through very well have you.
> In any case the account is silent either way. All we can infer from
> the account is that everybody who died deserved to die. If you want to
> make Yhwh out to be a homo hater you would have better luck than with
> this baby killer theme which just doesn't really seem to be going
> anywhere.
======
In the category of coming out in a public newsgroup.
> Nope, she's right. A gay friend of mine used to reckon the difference
> between a straight bloke and a gay bloke was 6 pints. OK, he was
> exaggerating to make a joke, but the number of "100% straight" men he'd
> slept with was surprising.
======
In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
> challenge you to beat it.
======
In the category: "Nature Green in Tooth and Claw".
Or possibly in the category "There is a Teleology Coming to a Wildlife
Park Near You"
<snip>
> Did you really want to bring that up? Under what evolutionary pressure
> exactly do you imagine it becoming more advantageous to have to hunt
> for food than to be able to graze from grass and leaves? The world
> became a desert with only animals as food running around in it?
======
In the category of "I see you've earned the 'Playing with Fire'
badge."
>><http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2080050/Now-thats-chim-PAN-zee-M
>>eet-monkey-fry-burgers.html>
>>Points to the origin of the hominoid fire making? Almost there, and
>>IIUC, some human groups don't make fire, but keep a fire burning
>>constantly and if it goes out must get from another location.
>>I suppose we have enough ex boy scouts around that we could build fires
>>from scratch, not matches or lighters, which is something I never did
>>even when I leader of the Beaver Patrol.
> Considering what some Boy Scout leaders have been convicted of, ISTM a
> Beaver Patrol is a very healthy thing :)
======
In the "Flapjacks of Wrath" category....
>> Nope that was a bible misprint. Seth (i.e. Scotty) later used the
>> ships remaining tractor
>> beams and anti-grav units to lift the stones for the pyramids. where
>> he later was
>> called "Set" because the Egyptians didn't
>> have a "th" sound in their language. He also went by Imhotep, and went
>> on to found
>> a chain of pancake houses.
> I believe you're naturally confusing him with Ihoptep.
======
in Marianne Faithful's Broken English category...
> No scientists may not create information
======
The Golden Globes script.
<Ricky Gervais> And the winner of this year's "Lifetime Award for
Illeism" is...
<drumroll>
> So, there's this guy on the internet who claims to know what God
> believes better than his only Son. Who should I believe? Him? Or God's
> Son?
<RG> Well, holy moley. Or whatever. Unfortunately, JC's not here to
get nailed, sorry, what am I saying, /collect/ this magnificent cross
in person, but we've a videolink to Everest base camp. Hopefully,
he'll be able to say a few words before he sets off with a bare
arse... with a sherpa called barearsed... Sorry, these cue cards are
tiny. Sets off barefoot to the summit. Come in, JC!
======
In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
======
In the category "The t.o. distinction without a difference"
> And by "threat" I meant thread. That's a pretty embarrassing typo,
> haha.
======
In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
> > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
> Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
> The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
> used only as decoration.
======
In the "Damn, wish I'd come up with that" category :
>> When am I going to start seeing something conclusive???
> When you open your eyes. In other words, never.
======
In the "They Hate That" category:
> You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> morons.
======
In the "dribble glass half full" category:
> I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
======
In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
> The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
======
In the category: what has chemistry come to?
> A proton may have a "physical size" on
> the order of femtometers, but be unable to pass through a ring of carbon
> atoms without the electrons in the carbon ring trying to commit all
> sorts of chemistry on the proton.
======
Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
> Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
> these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
> Creation.
======
This is a Grade AAAA++++ to infinity prime-time
omygodreadthisyoucannotbeseriouswowmybrainhurts Chez Watt.
(I tried to make it anonymous by replacing the name with XXXXXXX, but
really, the person in question is so identifiable perhaps I shouldn't
have bothered.)
> > > See XXXXXXX, you just have to apply proper linguistics and you'll
> > > understand exactly where the olive branch came from. The highest land
> > > on earth is the Himalayan mountain range. And when the Flood covered
> > > the whole earth it just barely covered the top of the Himalayas. Now,
> > > just as the Nile used to be a lush tropical area full of papyrus, the
> > > top of the Himalayan mountain range used to have a mild, Mediterranean
> > > climate and to be full of olive trees. How can we know this?? Just
> > > look at the name Himalayas....
> > > well, in ancient Greek "himalis" means "abundant" and "elaios" means
> > > "wild olive"
> > > so himelaios (=Himalayas) means "abundant wild olives."
> > > So, obviously the tops of the abundant olive trees on the top of
> > > Everest were above the water level, and that's how the dove managed to
> > > find a live olive branch. It's so easy when you just learn about the
> > > history of languages and proper names...
> > So, you are helping prove what the Bible says, then.
> > It would have taken time for the water to get up to the level of the
> > Himalayas, and it would also be likely that the salinity of oceans had
> > diminished extremely, due
> > to the amount of fresh water coming from the springs
> > in the earth, plus the water from the skies, and so the
> > olive trees on the Himalays would not have likely died,
> > and in fact would still be probably producing or holding
> > onto it's fruit.
> > That's very intersting about the name of the"HImalayas"
> > and the name meaing "wild olive," "abundant" and
> > "olive." "Elaios" which you mention is interesting
> > and I can see how it converted into "Olea" which olive
> > species are also labeled. Thank you for your expertise.
> > You also mentioned that knowing linguistics could
> > have helped me as if you thought I knew nothing
> > about linguistics. I just know a little about linguistics
> > as a subject that helps people "predict" earlier
> > proto-languages. I know about larygeals, and
> > progressions of consonant variations. I also know
> > the meaning of the basis in such as Latin to many
> > words. I did not know the meaning of Himalayas
> > as a word meaning wild olive, though, so thank
> > you for your imformation.
> > I did have a shrub in my front yard that was called
> > a "Russian olive," which is a member of trees and
> > shrubs called "oleasters." I knew it was a mamber
> > of the olive trees, but didn't relate that to the name
> > Himalayas. When I studied languages, I found out
> > that all the vowels can form the "uh" sound, so I
> > would contribute here that "olea" even though we
> > say "Oh-lee-a" could have been pronounced as
> > "uh-lee-uh" and also "elaeos" could hav been
> > pronounced as "uh-lay-us," so I can see how
> > elaeos and olea could be the same pronunciation
> > in earlier langauges. The Koine Greek puts a
> > silent "s" on the end of words that end with a
> > vowel lound like Yeshua = Jesus and like
> > Jonah=Jonas. Not all Koine Gk. words ending in
> > a vowel sound get spealled that way, though, for
> > there was Noah=Noe. The "e" on the end of
> > Noe was prnounced "as an "uh" sound making
> > it phonetically being Noe pronounced No-uh. : )
> > I'm so glad you told me though about the name
> > "Himalayas." So, thanks.
> XXXXXXX, if there were an Olympic event in gullibility you'd win the
> gold medal easily. All that stuff about Himalayas meaning "abundant
> wild olives" I JUST MADE IT UP.
> Yes, I JUST MADE IT UP.
> And the reason I made it up was to show you how easy it is to generate
> such nonsense as your NARMER=NIMROD, and you Tubal = Tblisi stories,
> and many other things that you get from loony internet sites.
> Here's how it's done. Take a real fact that most people know, the
> Himalayas are the highest mountains on Earth. Add the Bible story
> about the flood and the olive branch. Then add a couple of true but
> obscure facts: It's true that elaios means olive in Greek (I
> remembered because it turns up in Homer from time to time). Then I
> looked through a Greek dictionary for words beginning with a rough
> breathing (=H), followed by a vowel and then a mu (M). I lucked out
> with "himalis" which really does mean abundant. If you look those up,
> you'll think I know what I'm talking about, and it will add
> credibility to what comes next.
> Then throw in some utter nonsense: It is ridiculous to think that the
> top of Mt Everest had a mild, Mediterranean climate a few thousand
> years ago, or to think that olive trees could grow there, or survive a
> year with their roots drowned in seawater.
> Then shake it all together and "Poof" and out comes a XXXXXXX,
> etymological archaeological special, bound to please.
> By the way the actual derivation for the name Himalaya is apparently
> from a Sanskrit word meaning "abode of snow." I don't know Sanskrit,
> so I cannot vouch for that, but there is a lot of snow up there, and
> not a wild olive in sight.
======
David Hare-Scott
Feb 8, 2012, 5:27:30 PM2/8/12
to
this one
Kleuskes & Moos
Feb 9, 2012, 4:16:34 AM2/9/12
to
On Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:34:09 -0800, Harvest Dancer wrote:
> In the category: what has chemistry come to?
>
>> A proton may have a "physical size" on the order of femtometers, but be
>> unable to pass through a ring of carbon atoms without the electrons in
>> the carbon ring trying to commit all sorts of chemistry on the proton.
I'll stick with this one.
> In the category: what has chemistry come to?
>
>> A proton may have a "physical size" on the order of femtometers, but be
>> unable to pass through a ring of carbon atoms without the electrons in
>> the carbon ring trying to commit all sorts of chemistry on the proton.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
__________________________________
< Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT?? >
----------------------------------
\
\
___
{~._.~}
( Y )
()~*~()
(_)-(_)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
alextangent
Feb 9, 2012, 7:42:18 AM2/9/12
to
On Feb 8, 6:34 pm, Harvest Dancer <harvestdan...@hotmail.com> wrote:
This one please; yes, I know I nominated it and it is seriously long,
but since we don't have a WTFOTM...
> > > "Himalayas." So,...
>
> read more »
This one please; yes, I know I nominated it and it is seriously long,
but since we don't have a WTFOTM...
>
> read more »
Bob Casanova
Feb 10, 2012, 12:11:49 PM2/10/12
to
On Wed, 8 Feb 2012 10:34:09 -0800 (PST), the following
appeared in talk.origins, posted by Harvest Dancer
<harves...@hotmail.com>:
>As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
>
>(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
>
>Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
>Jason Harvestdancer
These three, please; equal weight.
(Yeah, I know I nominated one of them. Sue me.)
>======
>
>In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
>
>> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
>> challenge you to beat it.
>
>======
Bob C.
"Evidence confirming an observation is
evidence that the observation is wrong."
- McNameless
appeared in talk.origins, posted by Harvest Dancer
<harves...@hotmail.com>:
>As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
>
>(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
>
>Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
>Jason Harvestdancer
(Yeah, I know I nominated one of them. Sue me.)
>======
>
>In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
>
>> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
>> challenge you to beat it.
>
>======
>======
>
>in Marianne Faithful's Broken English category...
>
>> No scientists may not create information
>
>======
>
>in Marianne Faithful's Broken English category...
>
>> No scientists may not create information
>
>======
>======
>
>In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
>>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
>======
--
>
>In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
>>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
>======
Bob C.
"Evidence confirming an observation is
evidence that the observation is wrong."
- McNameless
Mark Isaak
Feb 10, 2012, 4:26:21 PM2/10/12
to
On 2/8/12 10:34 AM, Harvest Dancer wrote:
> As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
I still like this one and vote it for first place:
> As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
> ======
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
>> I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>
>> But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
> ======
> ======
> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>
>> Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
>> these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
>> Creation.
> ======
> ======
> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
>> You leave me no choice but to feel free.
> ======
Mark Isaak eciton (at) curioustaxonomy (dot) net
"It is certain, from experience, that the smallest grain of natural
honesty and benevolence has more effect on men's conduct, than the most
pompous views suggested by theological theories and systems." - D. Hume
Free Lunch
Feb 10, 2012, 6:52:26 PM2/10/12
to
On Wed, 8 Feb 2012 10:34:09 -0800 (PST), Harvest Dancer
<harves...@hotmail.com> wrote in talk.origins:
>As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
>
>(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
>
>Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
>Jason Harvestdancer
>
Position 4:
>The Golden Globes script.
>
><Ricky Gervais> And the winner of this year's "Lifetime Award for
>Illeism" is...
>
><drumroll>
>
>> So, there's this guy on the internet who claims to know what God
>> believes better than his only Son. Who should I believe? Him? Or God's
>> Son?
>
><RG> Well, holy moley. Or whatever. Unfortunately, JC's not here to
>get nailed, sorry, what am I saying, /collect/ this magnificent cross
>in person, but we've a videolink to Everest base camp. Hopefully,
>he'll be able to say a few words before he sets off with a bare
>arse... with a sherpa called barearsed... Sorry, these cue cards are
>tiny. Sets off barefoot to the summit. Come in, JC!
Third, with a bullet:
>In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
>
>> > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
>
>> Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
>> The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
>> used only as decoration.
Second (there are limits to my pandering to the master):
>In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
>> I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>
>> But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
(dis)Honorable mention for profound ignorance (yes I am American):
<harves...@hotmail.com> wrote in talk.origins:
>As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
>
>(Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
>
>Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
>Jason Harvestdancer
>
>
>In the category of coming out in a public newsgroup.
>
>> Nope, she's right. A gay friend of mine used to reckon the difference
>> between a straight bloke and a gay bloke was 6 pints. OK, he was
>> exaggerating to make a joke, but the number of "100% straight" men he'd
>> slept with was surprising.
>
Position 5:
>In the category of coming out in a public newsgroup.
>
>> Nope, she's right. A gay friend of mine used to reckon the difference
>> between a straight bloke and a gay bloke was 6 pints. OK, he was
>> exaggerating to make a joke, but the number of "100% straight" men he'd
>> slept with was surprising.
>
>
>In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
>
>> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
>> challenge you to beat it.
Victorious:
>In the category of "Insert your own jokes here"
>
>> Yes! Woman is truly God's master piece. I dare you, I urge you, I
>> challenge you to beat it.
>The Golden Globes script.
>
><Ricky Gervais> And the winner of this year's "Lifetime Award for
>Illeism" is...
>
><drumroll>
>
>> So, there's this guy on the internet who claims to know what God
>> believes better than his only Son. Who should I believe? Him? Or God's
>> Son?
>
><RG> Well, holy moley. Or whatever. Unfortunately, JC's not here to
>get nailed, sorry, what am I saying, /collect/ this magnificent cross
>in person, but we've a videolink to Everest base camp. Hopefully,
>he'll be able to say a few words before he sets off with a bare
>arse... with a sherpa called barearsed... Sorry, these cue cards are
>tiny. Sets off barefoot to the summit. Come in, JC!
>In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
>
>> > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
>
>> Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
>> The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
>> used only as decoration.
>In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
>> I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>
>> But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
Walter Bushell
Feb 10, 2012, 9:16:28 PM2/10/12
to
Unknown poster wrote:
> Unfortunately, JC's not here to get nailed
Jesus was gay? Or was UP gay and really hard up?
> Unfortunately, JC's not here to get nailed
--
It is the nature of the human species to reject what is true but unpleasant
and to embrace what is obviously false but comforting. -- H. L. Mencken
Walter Bushell
Feb 10, 2012, 9:28:41 PM2/10/12
to
In article
<603dbf76-9858-4e72...@t5g2000yqk.googlegroups.com>,
Harvest Dancer <harves...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Tough choice by this one.
And #2 the one about American exceptionalism.
of course this has potential
<603dbf76-9858-4e72...@t5g2000yqk.googlegroups.com>,
Harvest Dancer <harves...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Tough choice by this one.
======
In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
======
The one by XXXXX was good but too long.
In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>You leave me no choice but to feel free.
======
And #2 the one about American exceptionalism.
of course this has potential
======
When an irresistable force meets an immoveable jock category:
> > Last time I went to a boxing match they had to call it off, because a
> > hockey game broke out.
======
When an irresistable force meets an immoveable jock category:
> > Last time I went to a boxing match they had to call it off, because a
> > hockey game broke out.
======
> ======
>
> In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
>
> > The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
>
> ======
>
> In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
>
> > The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
>
> ======
Stephen
Feb 11, 2012, 6:48:59 PM2/11/12
to
Harvest Dancer wrote:
> As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
> (Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
> Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
> Jason Harvestdancer
>
>
First:
> As February arrives, I compose a ballot of all Watts from January.
> (Vowel-boy, that means your complaints from last month are resolved.)
> Vote Early, Vote Often, may the Best Watt Win!
>
> Jason Harvestdancer
>
>
>
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>
> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
> ======
>
>
> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>
> > Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to
> > how these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of
> > Special Creation.
>
> ======
>
> In the "Flapjacks of Wrath" category....
>
> >> Nope that was a bible misprint. Seth (i.e. Scotty) later used the
> >> ships remaining tractor
> >> beams and anti-grav units to lift the stones for the pyramids.
> >> where he later was
> >> called "Set" because the Egyptians didn't
> >> have a "th" sound in their language. He also went by Imhotep, and
> >> went on to found
> >> a chain of pancake houses.
>
> > I believe you're naturally confusing him with Ihoptep.
>
=====
Burkhard
Feb 11, 2012, 8:09:21 PM2/11/12
to
One each please for :
> ======
>
> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
> ======
>
> ======
>
> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
> ======
>
> In the "They Hate That" category:
>
> > You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> > morons.
>
> ======
>
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
> ======
>
> > You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> > morons.
>
> ======
>
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
> ======
Harvest Dancer
Feb 16, 2012, 7:56:46 PM2/16/12
to
Here are the winners. I was a little surprised at the low voter
turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
First Place
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
Second Place
> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
Third Place
> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>
> > Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
> > these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
> > Creation.
turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
First Place
> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>
> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>
> > Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
> > these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
> > Creation.
> ======
>
> In the category "The t.o. distinction without a difference"
>
> > And by "threat" I meant thread. That's a pretty embarrassing typo,
> > haha.
>
> ======
>
> In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
>
> > > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
> > Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
> > The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
> > used only as decoration.
>
> ======
>
> In the "Damn, wish I'd come up with that" category :
>
> >> When am I going to start seeing something conclusive???
> > When you open your eyes. In other words, never.
>
> ======
>
> In the "They Hate That" category:
>
> > You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> > morons.
>
> ======
>
>
>
> In the category "The t.o. distinction without a difference"
>
> > And by "threat" I meant thread. That's a pretty embarrassing typo,
> > haha.
>
> ======
>
> In the category of "Move along; nothing to see here..."
>
> > > Does anybody have anything to add to the information on this page?
> > Those few hundred words absolutely exhaust our knowledge of the topic.
> > The handful of references at the bottom of the page were intended to be
> > used only as decoration.
>
> ======
>
> In the "Damn, wish I'd come up with that" category :
>
> >> When am I going to start seeing something conclusive???
> > When you open your eyes. In other words, never.
>
> ======
>
> In the "They Hate That" category:
>
> > You should not either anthropomophize humans. They are mostly
> > morons.
>
> ======
>
>
> ======
>
> In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
>
> > The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
>
> ======
>
> In the category: what has chemistry come to?
>
> > A proton may have a "physical size" on
> > the order of femtometers, but be unable to pass through a ring of carbon
> > atoms without the electrons in the carbon ring trying to commit all
> > sorts of chemistry on the proton.
>
> ======
>
>
>
> In the over the top American Exceptionalism Department.
>
> > The United States is the world's most successful nation ever.
>
> ======
>
> In the category: what has chemistry come to?
>
> > A proton may have a "physical size" on
> > the order of femtometers, but be unable to pass through a ring of carbon
> > atoms without the electrons in the carbon ring trying to commit all
> > sorts of chemistry on the proton.
>
> ======
>
>
Harvest Dancer
Feb 16, 2012, 8:00:47 PM2/16/12
to
On Feb 16, 4:56 pm, Harvest Dancer <harves...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Here are the winners. I was a little surprised at the low voter
> turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
> forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
>
> First Place
>
> > In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
Aw Shucks, guys, you shouldn't have.
> Here are the winners. I was a little surprised at the low voter
> turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
> forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
>
> First Place
>
> > In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>
> > > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
> > > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
Jason Harvestdancer
Bob Casanova
Feb 17, 2012, 12:39:13 PM2/17/12
to
On Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:56:46 -0800 (PST), the following
beneficial to *some* of us... ;-)
>Here are the winners. I was a little surprised at the low voter
>turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
>forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
>
>First Place
>
>> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>>
>> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
>Second Place
>
>> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>>
>> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
>Third Place
>
>> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>>
>> > Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
>> > these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
>> > Creation.
Cool; my nomination came in second. Obviously low turnout is
>turnout. Winning authors and winning nominators are invited to come
>forward for credit or blame (as appropriate).
>
>First Place
>
>> In the "dribble glass half full" category:
>>
>> > I admit, I will most certainly miss you.
>> > But then I prepare the Chez Watt ballot.
>
>Second Place
>
>> In the category "He won't get this. Hit him with a 2x4.":
>>
>> >You leave me no choice but to feel free.
>
>Third Place
>
>> Nominated in the "no sex please, we're Stegosaurs" category
>>
>> > Since no one has been able to offer a plausible explanation as to how
>> > these creatures engaged in coitus, they are fine examples of Special
>> > Creation.
beneficial to *some* of us... ;-)
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