Noah and the turkey baster
el cid
of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
of each 'kind' onto his ark?
This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
that way.)
Caranx latus
> Why didn't Jehovah provide Noah with a freezer and a supply
> of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
> of each 'kind' onto his ark?
All that experience with Sumerian IVF and artificial insemination could
really have come in handy, couldn't it? Where were the Annunaki then?
> This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
> that way.)
What a stroke of luck! I've got a glass of The Glenrothes in front of
me. Happy New Year!
Mike Painter
He tried that in a previous flood that didn't make the Big Black Book.
There were several problems.
The lions and tiger and bears tended to kill anybody that tried to stick one
in them.
The elephants found they were not long enough.
The big problem was in the huge number of mice, moles, bats, and shrews
(especially the water shrew) that were aboard.
Most were killed by the insertion and they found with the water shrews that
you could feed them or fuck them but with only 800* people on board, both
could not be done at the same time. (Water shrews can't go without food for
more than a few hours at the outside and live)
*No, that's not a misprint, his first attempt was a little more realistic.
Most died with a baster in their hand.
You may not believe this but there is proof. The platypus is the result of
someone selecting the wrong baster.
It also explains the lack of dinosaurs and why some men feel 30 seconds is a
long time.
r norman
It was probably written with a glass of Scotch in one hand and the
turkey baster in the other.
el cid
Oban myself. Oh, and I borrowed the "with a bottle of scotch"
from the ancient one. Well, stole it really.
el cid
> On Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:08:19 -0800 (PST), el cid
>
> >Why didn't Jehovah provide Noah with a freezer and a supply
> >of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
> >of each 'kind' onto his ark?
>
> >This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
> >that way.)
>
> It was probably written with a glass of Scotch in one hand and the
> turkey baster in the other.
Actually it was a cigar. One of those times when a cigar is
just a cigar.
Ye Old One
You can tell :)
However, to answer, there was no power generator on the Ark so the
freezer would not have worked.
--
Bob.
Life is like a hot bath, the longer you stay the more wrinkled you
get.
Wombat
> On Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:08:19 -0800 (PST), el cid
> <elcidbi...@gmail.com> enriched this group when s/he wrote:
>
> >Why didn't Jehovah provide Noah with a freezer and a supply
> >of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
> >of each 'kind' onto his ark?
>
> >This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
> >that way.)
>
> You can tell :)
>
> However, to answer, there was no power generator on the Ark so the
> freezer would not have worked.
Gas powered fridge? Although McNameless did once claim Noah had power
tools - it was on a par with his claim that Jackson's Chameleon was a
descendant of Triceratops.
Wombat
Ye Old One
enriched this group when s/he wrote:
>On Jan 5, 12:08�pm, Ye Old One <use...@mcsuk.net> wrote:
>> On Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:08:19 -0800 (PST), el cid
>> <elcidbi...@gmail.com> enriched this group when s/he wrote:
>>
>> >Why didn't Jehovah provide Noah with a freezer and a supply
>> >of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
>> >of each 'kind' onto his ark?
>>
>> >This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
>> >that way.)
>>
>> You can tell :)
>>
>> However, to answer, there was no power generator on the Ark so the
>> freezer would not have worked.
>
>Gas powered fridge?
Ah! Of course, why didn't I think of that! A use for all that methane.
> Although McNameless did once claim Noah had power
>tools - it was on a par with his claim that Jackson's Chameleon was a
>descendant of Triceratops.
He was a complete and utter nutcase but far more intelligent than
Mudbrain and NashtOff combined.
--
Bob.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life.
The first is - Never tell everything you know.
Kermit
> On Jan 5, 12:08 pm, Ye Old One <use...@mcsuk.net> wrote:
>
> > On Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:08:19 -0800 (PST), el cid
> > <elcidbi...@gmail.com> enriched this group when s/he wrote:
>
> > >Why didn't Jehovah provide Noah with a freezer and a supply
> > >of turkey basters so as to only require he bring one female
> > >of each 'kind' onto his ark?
>
> > >This post best viewed with a bottle of scotch (it was written
> > >that way.)
>
> > You can tell :)
>
> > However, to answer, there was no power generator on the Ark so the
> > freezer would not have worked.
>
> Gas powered fridge? �Although McNameless did once claim Noah had power
> tools - it was on a par with his claim that Jackson's Chameleon was a
> descendant of Triceratops.
>
McNameless was able to match ASI at his best for creativity, but for
sheer prodigious quantity, ASI has everyone else beat, hands down.
> Wombat
>
>
>
> > --
> > Bob.
>
> > Life is like a hot bath, the longer you stay the more wrinkled you
> > get.
Kermit
Frank J
Haven't had a single malt in a few months. Must get a bottle as soon
as I get over this cold.
Frank J
It's up to you "Darwinists" to prove that He didn't. ;-)
Wombat
Whatever did happen to McNameless?
Wombat
Ye Old One
I seem to recall he discovered YouTube.
>
>Wombat
--
Bob.
Wombat
Did he ever put his video on it?
Wombat
Ye Old One
Well, only parts. IIRC he used the name 'VortexDelta'.
Of course, what was uploaded was low quality and not complete - so I
kept up my 'McClueless Video Challenge'. If you recall I offered to
pay to have his filmed material transferred to DVD with time codes so
that anyone who wanted to would be able to go through it, frame by
frame if necessary, so that his oft made claims about his videos could
actually be verified of dismissed. He ran, and is still running.
>
>Wombat
--
Bob.
Wombat
> On Thu, 7 Jan 2010 12:26:27 -0800 (PST),Wombat<tri...@multiweb.nl>
> enriched this group when s/he wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> >On Jan 7, 12:12�pm, Ye Old One <use...@mcsuk.net> wrote:
I well remember your offer, and his steadfast refusal to even
acknowledge it.
Wombat
Ye Old One
His claim, for the people who don't remember, was that he had video
that showed (un broken) coverage of certain things on the site he
claimed was the Ark. His constant claim was "you can't say that
because you have not seen the video" [that being anything he disagreed
with].
Well, I offered to put my money up so that he had the chance to prove
us all wrong. He suddenly found ways to put selected footage online,
but that wasn't enough to back up his claims. So, eventually, he ran
away.
--
Bob.