Message from discussion public service announcement
From: Ronan Waide <wai...@scope.ie>
Subject: public service announcement
X-Trace: kermit.esat.net 952683703 29418 18.104.22.168 (10 Mar 2000 10:21:43 GMT)
Organization: Esat Net
NNTP-Posting-Date: 10 Mar 2000 10:21:43 GMT
[this collides nicely with my previous "live and let live" comment.]
Advice for citizens of countries other than Ireland for March 17th.
1. It's St. Patrick's Day, or Paddy's Day, or perhaps St. Pat's
Day. Patty is one of the girlfolk from Peanuts.
2. You're not Irish. Check your passport if you're unsure of this.
3. Not every Irish guy you meet will know your Uncle O'Kowalski from
County MacShaughnessy. We have, at last count, about 5 million
people on the island. Social studies suggest each person knows at
most 200 others.
4. We don't care if you have roots in Ireland. We have roots half-way
across Europe, but we don't bother the French, Spanish, English,
Scottish, Welsh, Portugese, Bretons, Basques, Italians, Germans,
Swiss, Belgians, Walloons, Flemish, Dutch, etc. etc. etc. about
it. Particularly not in bars.
5. Most Irish people over the age of, oh, 10 do not wear green items
for the day, unless specifically required to do so
(e.g. participation in a parade, working for the Jaguar F1 team,
etc.) And what's this nonsense with pinching folk who don't wear
6. Green beer? What the fuck?
7. Michael Flatley isn't Irish. We're sorry for Riverdance; the
guilty parties are being dealt with. Please stop going to see it
and thinking you know about Irish dancing.
8. Guinness drinkers aren't necessarily Catholic or Republican.
Beamish/Murphys/whatever drinkers aren't necessarily
Protestant/Loyalist/Unionist. Politics and religion are best left
to the politicians and the, well, religicians. We'd rather drink
in peace, thanks.
9. You saying that Ireland is a nation of belligerent drunks is kinda
like us saying that yours is a nation of stupid people who spend
far too much time meddling in other peoples' business. Except
we're statistically more correct.
10. Enjoy the celebrations. Try not to feel somehow incomplete because
your country is just another flag on the Irish map of world
conquest. We're good landlords.
Waider. SPIT.BOB ahoy!
 Specifically, that big blob of land preventing us from sailing
straight through to the far east.
wai...@waider.ie / Yes, it /is/ very personal of me.
"These are indeed harsh times for the dim." - j...@snugbug.cts.com