BOB Travelogue
Thomas Boutell
This was meant to be a bob report in haiku form, but it's really
more of a sitting in a hot car for too many hours report in haiku form. (*)
I did not have the traditional talk.bizarre fanatical insistence
on 5-7-5 in mind when I wrote this. Please, let's forego the
numerological flames.
* * *
Long flat ribbons of Rome
Wide expanses of Arabia
Parallel berms of New Jersey
Little America fifty miles
Little America five miles
Little America two hundred miles (**)
One more degree fahrenheit
All the cheetos melt
Food Mart fries in corn oil
Still life, moving gallery
Peach halves on the dashboard
Car and driver and panorama
Work zone ahead
No sleep no soul no service
Please don't hit the deer
Watch for falling trucks
Runaway truck ramp two miles
Wreckers anchor here
Roughly rolling hills
Punishingly bright
It's a dry heat
Please pass the single malt
Please pass on the citrus wine
Please play this damn guitar
Four hours sleep on rocks
White water management seminar
Sleep or strip? Sleep or strip?
No sleep no sleep no sleep
Sixteen ounces truckstop coffee
Sudden erection and sleep
Ellensburg Ellensburg
Have you met Ellensburg
Two more hours in these pants
Watch the road for deer
Bother the driver to keep him awake
Design a solar brewery
Four day matriarchy
Imports beer scotch knick-knacks
Exports haw chili knick-knacks
-T
(*) Eminently worth it.
(**) "Little America" is the name of two resort hotels on opposite
ends of Wyoming. As soon as you pass one you're ticking down the
miles to the other.
Matthew R. Sheahan
the number of your mother is six, six, six, and when you sum B-O-U-T-E-L-L
in ASCII each of the numbers (using base 10 positional notation) is exactly
one more than the corresponding number in the sum of H-I-T-L-E-R. oh, and
your message IDs are inauspicious, homey.
chiaroscuro
Tom Fawcett
I think it's important to rout The Beast from his lair at
every opportunity.
lethe:> perl antichrist.pl "Mathew W. Sheahan"
M 77
a 97
t 116
t 116
h 104
e 101
w 119
32
R 82
. 46
32
S 83
h 104
e 101
a 97
h 104
a 97
n 110
77+97+116+116+104+101+119+32+82-46-32-83+104-101+97-104+97-110 = 666
Coincidence? I think not!
And no TB posting is complete without a Perl script:
# antichrist.pl -- search for evidence of the antichrist
$NUMBER_OF_THE_BEAST = 666;
@nums = map(ord, split(//, $ARGV[0]));
@ops = qw(+ -); # or whatever you want
if ($deriv=inferno(undef, @nums)) {
foreach (@nums) { print chr($_), "\t$_\n" };
print "$deriv\nCoincidence? I think not!\n"
}
sub inferno {
my($n, @nums) = @_;
if ($#nums == -1) {
int($n) == $NUMBER_OF_THE_BEAST ? " = $NUMBER_OF_THE_BEAST" : 0;
} else {
for $op (@ops) {
my($deriv);
if ($deriv=inferno(eval("$n$op$nums[0]"), @nums[1..$#nums])) {
return("$op$nums[0]$deriv");
}
}
}
}
-Tom
I've had long term memory problems since I can't remember when