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"Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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George William Herbert  
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 More options Nov 12 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gherb...@gw.retro.com (George William Herbert)
Date: 2000/11/12
Subject: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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In another forum, Crisper asked (regarding the US Presidential Election):

>Goddammit, where's the fucking Dungeon Master, anyway?

GM: Roll your final election night success rolls.
GWB: [rolls] 11!  Marginal success.
AG: [rolls] 11!  Also marginal success.
GM: Ok.  Let's see how bad this is... [rolls] 18.  Well.  Isn't that special.
    Critical chaos table ...  GWB, isn't your brother in charge of Florida?
GWB: Yeah... but he's a NPC...
GM: Too bad.  AG, Florida was called for you on election night, but has
    shifted back to GWB by ... [rolls] twelve hundred votes.  Al has a
    [rolls] 0.2% lead in the popular vote but is losing the electoral
    college if Florida stays in GWB's column.
AG: Recount!  Recount!
GWB: No fair, if I'm winning...
GM: Marginal success.
GWB: But that was a success!
GM: [rolls] 18 again!  An excellent success.  The election authorities
    in one of the Florida counties screwed up the ballot so all the
    voters with IQ under 100 or over 75 years old voted for the wrong
    person or twice.
GWB: Aaaaaaa
AG: I sue!  No, wait, I don't sue, the *voters* sue...
GM: Roll to convince some voters to sue.
AG: ...[rolls] 14!  I got 'em!
GWB: This is just terrible.  We can't be doing this to the country.
     Concede already, Al.
AG: Did the media see that?  Did they?
GM: GWB, make a saving throw versus media.
GWB: [rolls] 8.  Nope.
GM: Make a saving throw versus public opinion.
GWB: [rolls] 12.  Close enough?
GM: People are shaking their heads, but not trying to burn down your house.
GWB: Whew.
GM: [rolls] 17.  Excellent.  The first recount results show GWB's
    lead narrowing to... [rolls] 350 votes!
AG: I want a hand recount.
GWB: No, you don't.
AG: It says I can have a hand recount.  It's on Page 41 of the
    Election Masters Guide, third paragraph, second sentence.
GWB: Don't be a Wussy Rules Lawyer.
GM: [flips pages] He's right.
GWB: Well Damnit.  I'm suing to stop him anyways.
GM: You're suing to overturn the rules?
GWB: Damn straight.
GM: Oh-kay... roll for it.
GWB: [rolls] 15!  Hey, look at that, I got a 15!
GM: Good, but not good enough to overturn a game rule...
AG: Haw Haw.
GWB: See if I share my pizza with you next time.
AG: Hey, don't get Snippy.

TO BE CONTINUED

                                -george
                                        "Where's that Eratta sheet?"


 
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kim  
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 More options Nov 12 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hyacinthgir...@webtv.net (kim)
Date: 2000/11/12
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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     The DM intercedes with divine intervention in the form of a hurled
lightening bolt.  No one could save.  I hope the DM is a Democrat.

 
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Kent Paul Dolan  
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 More options Nov 14 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: xanth...@well.com (Kent Paul Dolan)
Date: 2000/11/14
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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A posting to die for, George.  Too bad they held this fiasco so far in advance
of FTSD, you'd be a shoe in for dogcatcher, at least.

Cheers!

xanthian.

"DM for the state of FL" wannabe.  One more time, manatee huggers and butterfly
ballot mispunchers, was that "no more nukes" or "no more flukes"?

Cast your vote on the right if you can spare Orlando, on the left if you can
spare Tampa, and at the head of the unfortunately obscured arrow leading up
from the teensy tinsy footnote in the microdot under the metal chassis punch
guide if you really _like_ Sirenians, and aren't just saying that to save
yourselves and your browsing friends a little exposure to prompt radiation.


 
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Kent Paul Dolan  
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 More options Nov 14 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: xanth...@well.com (Kent Paul Dolan)
Date: 2000/11/14
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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> a shoe in

Not a pun, my spelling has really gotten to suck that badly.

Senility is not for the

the

what was that cliche, anyway?

Does anyone remember that about which I was talking?

xanthian, pedantic to the last, a helluva way for a cobbler to treat his
tools.


 
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kim  
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 More options Nov 14 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hyacinthgir...@webtv.net (kim)
Date: 2000/11/14
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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     xanthian: an individual with wit, intelligence, and uncanny
perception.  Cambrian, Ordovician, Silurian, Devonian:  call the wine
steward out and name your favorite period.

 
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Kent Paul Dolan  
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 More options Nov 15 2000, 12:51 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: xanth...@well.com (Kent Paul Dolan)
Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2000 05:50:59 GMT
Local: Wed, Nov 15 2000 12:50 am
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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kim <hyacinthgir...@webtv.net> wrote:
>     xanthian: an individual with wit, intelligence, and uncanny
>perception.  Cambrian, Ordovician, Silurian, Devonian:  call the wine
>steward out and name your favorite period.

Too bad all the women on the web are younger than my daughter,
including the ones that aren't.  That much flattery done without
destroying the keyboard in a fit of giggles, constitutes a position of
honor in my .siggie quote generator bought and paid for, but hola have
you got the wrong hombre, seniorita.

I'd name my "favorite period", all right, but then my ISP would pull my
account, and where would I use my new siggie quote?

       ===== NON-random quote by or about this author =====

xanthian: an individual with wit, intelligence, and uncanny perception.
Cambrian, Ordovician, Silurian, Devonian:  call the wine steward out and
name your favorite period.
                                       -- hyacinthgir...@webtv.net (kim)

--
Kent Paul Dolan.
<xanth...@well.com> <xanth...@aztec.asu.edu> <kdo...@ebay.com>

Who always did have a thing for hyacinths, come to think of it.


 
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kim  
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 More options Nov 15 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hyacinthgir...@webtv.net (kim)
Date: 2000/11/15
Subject: Re: "Where's the Dungeon Master?"
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    Xanthian derided me for praising him, rather than burying him.
Okay, no more ms.' nice lady.  It was a regrettable lapse.  Really,
Marquis De Sade has always been a role model.

 
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