more advertising ideas
M. Farahbakhshian
A few ideas:
1. A heated swimming pool/movie theater. Picture it; an olympic-sized
heated indoor pool, with fountains, water polo areas, etc. WHen you're
sick of swimming, you pop onto an innertube and lie back, enjoy a cool
drink, and watch a movie on the IMAX multi-story movie screen.
2. Beer delivery. Let's face it, many of the accidents that happen occur
because, at a party, the keg runs dry. The most sober person is sent out
to buy more, but, the most sober is not sober enough. Hence, 24-hour
beer delivery. Beer straight to your home: 1-800-BEER-NOW. As an added
twist, domestic beers have domestic drivers, and foreign beers have
foreign drivers.
3. Roller Fencing. Like street hockey, except it's fencing. "CAR!"
(everyone moves out of the way). "EN GARDE!" back to the action.
4. Pay-Per-View: The Spice Girls, the Indigo Girls, and the Golden Girls
in a jello-wrestling fight to the death.
Enjoy...
...said the clown as he excruciatingly placed the barrel of the revolver
to his temple. "Enjoy your petty lives, because *I* have a Hale-Bopp
Comet to catch!"
He then proceeded to plant hot lead into his skull. It was
yum-a-licious.
--
I hate how Goths attempt to enshroud themselves (pun intended) in the
"mystery of the night" or the "lure" of the vampire. Well, let me tell
you, it's a lot harder to find fresh blood at 3 A.M. than it is to get a
decent burger at 1 P.M. Yeah, Goths may be masters of the night, but we
are masters of the day, and that's when the stores are open.
Lisa Chabot
M. Farahbakhshian <dem...@infostreet.com> wrote:
>2. Beer delivery. Let's face it, many of the accidents that happen occur
>because, at a party, the keg runs dry. The most sober person is sent out
>to buy more, but, the most sober is not sober enough. Hence, 24-hour
>beer delivery. Beer straight to your home: 1-800-BEER-NOW. As an added
>twist, domestic beers have domestic drivers, and foreign beers have
>foreign drivers.
Late one night / early one morning, the frat next door to ours ran out of
beer. Since, at this hour, all places to buy further refreshments of the
alcoholic sort were closed, they attempted to break in through a basement
window to steal some. Caught in the act by someone up late doing laundry
they sheepishly hung their heads and said oops, sorry, just being stupid,
won't happen again.
Less than an hour later, they tried again.
.
. It's too bad they failed since when they got tanked up
. they'd do mildly entertaining / irritating things like
. march up and down the sidewalk in their underwear, in
. close formation, howling in unison...in 31F weather.
.
--
non-spam can be sent to lsc at this ISP
Lisa Chabot
Scott Dorsey <klu...@netcom.com> wrote:
>I consider it amazing that nobody has yet considered a beer utility, with
>beer piped directly from the factory to the home. Light and dark running
>beer, with beer meters in back.
Actually, you'd probably only need one pipeline, with a little gadget attached
to the meter after the beer-splitter to add "dark" to one of the lines coming
off the beer-splitter. Sort of like the way they used to add stripes to
toothpaste.
.
. wonder if LGBC would consider it as a charity
Scott Dorsey
In article <lscdoesnteatspam...@netcom.com> lscdoesntea...@netcom.com (Lisa Chabot) writes:
>M. Farahbakhshian <dem...@infostreet.com> wrote:
>>2. Beer delivery. Let's face it, many of the accidents that happen occur
>>because, at a party, the keg runs dry. The most sober person is sent out
>>to buy more, but, the most sober is not sober enough. Hence, 24-hour
>>beer delivery. Beer straight to your home: 1-800-BEER-NOW. As an added
>>twist, domestic beers have domestic drivers, and foreign beers have
>>foreign drivers.
>
>Late one night / early one morning, the frat next door to ours ran out of
>beer. Since, at this hour, all places to buy further refreshments of the
>alcoholic sort were closed, they attempted to break in through a basement
>window to steal some. Caught in the act by someone up late doing laundry
>they sheepishly hung their heads and said oops, sorry, just being stupid,
>won't happen again.
>
>Less than an hour later, they tried again.
I live in a town which, aside from tourism, is primarily known for a preppie
university and a Busch plant.
I consider it amazing that nobody has yet considered a beer utility, with
beer piped directly from the factory to the home. Light and dark running
beer, with beer meters in back.
The thought is enough to make me give up beer forever.
--scott
--
"C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."
Craqhore
M. Farahbakhshian wrote:
>
> A few ideas:
>
> 1. A heated swimming pool/movie theater. Picture it; an olympic-sized
> heated indoor pool, with fountains, water polo areas, etc. WHen you're
> sick of swimming, you pop onto an innertube and lie back, enjoy a cool
> drink, and watch a movie on the IMAX multi-story movie screen.
Also...the Multi-Level swimming pool. Yes, a huuuuuuge swimming pool,
with huge buttressed ceilings, and capping it: a pool with a glass
bottom. And so on. A multi-level pool system, perhaps in the shape of a
pyramid...with waterslide/waterfalls down the side to the next level...
each pool would have neon lights, and there would be a huge jet of water
in the center pushing the water up....
design from side
__ jet of water
/
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AjD
In article <kludgeEA...@netcom.com>,
klu...@netcom.com (Scott Dorsey) wrote:
]I live in a town which, aside from tourism, is primarily known for a preppie
]university and a Busch plant.
]
]I consider it amazing that nobody has yet considered a beer utility, with
]beer piped directly from the factory to the home. Light and dark running
]beer, with beer meters in back.
]
]The thought is enough to make me give up beer forever.
I visited a town with a cold running beer tap.
The Straub's brewery in St. Mary's, PA is one of the oldest continually
running breweries in the united states*, and makes some damned fine
german-style lager. a bit light, but not objectionably so. It only has a
range of distribution of about sixty miles, and given that it's (a) not one
of those yuppie boo-teek beers, and (b) it's in the middle of nowhere
(evinced in this case to be north mid-Pennsylvania, for which the closest
'city' is Bradford, some hour and a half drive away), it has a certain
obscure cult following among retired millworkers who still have some sense
of taste in their mouths after years of boozing it up following ten-hour
line shifts and the sort of people who groove on obscure cult beers.
Anyway, when you tour the brewery, you're likely to be shown around by the
president's secretary if the prez is helping out with the mash or on the
bottling line. Questions of a more technical nature will be answered after
shouting through the building for somebody who might know.
After the tour is over -- everything is kept clean and working though not
altogether shiny-new -- you can stop at the eternal tap for a couple
drinks. Be a sport and clean the glass when you're done; they have a sink
right by it. In the seventies, with the rise of the great american tort
spectacular, Straub's lawyer suggested the have a sign-in book and a limit
to minimize their liability. This is a shame, as townsfolks' familes for
centuries would stop by the brewery and fill their buckets on the way home
for the evening meal.
The distributor hangs his shingle in a hillside split-basement below the
brewery, and you can get fresh-off-the-pallet cases at a pretty good price.
They also sell locally-brewed soda pop in sixteen flavors, also at good
prices.
AjD
*excepting, of course, those fourteen
years of foolhardiness earlier this
century
--
Those who advertise by email are boycotted.
a j d at v e s t i g i a l dot c o m
MATTHE...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca
KLU...@NETCOM.COM writes:
> I consider it amazing that nobody has yet considered a beer utility, with
> beer piped directly from the factory to the home. Light and dark running
Security is the eternal problem of utilities. Few people steal water
from the distribution pipes because it's so cheap that it's not worth
the effort involved. Few people steal electricity because it's pretty
cheap too and requires special skills to handle safely. Few people
steal sewage for obvious reasons. Lots of people steal cable
television, because it's priced way above the cost of delivery, thus the
escalation of the scrambling and piracy wars.
Now, beer is something worth stealing. Furthermore, your best customers
are likely to be buildings full of engineering students. Just try
building a student-proof beer meter! If they can't bypass the measuring
system, they'll break the microcontroller and make it report whatever
numbers they want.
Consider the social effects of a beer utility. Of course, someone would
pass a law requiring a cardswipe device at every tap, to protect
innocent children, at which point the ACLU would sue, taking valuable
dollars away from their net freedom campaign. Since it costs a fair bit
to do a credit card verification, the price per use would quickly
approach what you'd pay elsewhere. It'd be taxed to death, too. Maybe
they'd even put a regulator in the meter to prevent it dispensing more
than N pints per day, thereby defeating the original purpose of
preventing drunk drivers when partygoers go out for fresh supplies.
People would publish studies pointing out correlations between violent
crime and the availability of the beer utility, neglecting to point out
that crime happens in cities and cities are the only place where it's
cost-effective to set up. Do-gooding teatotallers would make trouble by
refusing to allow you to run the pipes under their property, and
campaigning for public land to be the same way.
Unless you kept the pipes really thin and the flow rate up, requiring
strong pipes and high pressures, you'd have a lot of beer sitting in the
pipes at any given moment, going stale all the time. You might just as
well re-route the output of the urinals to the taps and create a
self-contained beer loop.
Now, a nanobrewery in your fridge... there's an idea!
--
Matthe...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca, hacking Delphi for MPR in Burnaby
* RM 1.3 00829 * "your melon is all waxed then you got to ice her jits" -jjp
Mao Tse-Tung
> 4. Pay-Per-View: The Spice Girls, the Indigo Girls, and the Golden Girls
> in a jello-wrestling fight to the death.
Call me when arrangements are made. Must see. No exceptions.
Mao Tse-Tung
> cost-effective to set up. Do-gooding te A totallers would make trouble by
> refusing to allow you to run the pipes under their property, and
> campaigning for public land to be the same way.
>
> Unless you kept the pipes really thin and the flow rate up, requiring
And what of the horrendous explosions when gas builds up in these thin
pipes at high pressure?