View this page "Social Actions Website Copy"
Peter Deitz
copy. Please have a look and let me know what needs to change. Or
just write in the changes yourself. I've already mentioned to a few
people that I'd like their help in reviewing this copy before it goes
lives. I'll follow up with individual emails to those people (Phil
Klein and a few others).
Points to keep in mind:
-The hyperlinks that I envision aren't included
-I'm aiming for brevity and clarity
-The actual pages will include visuals
-We'll retain the same overal website design (for now)
My goal is to have this website copy live by the end of next week.
All the best,
Peter
Click on http://groups.google.com/group/social-actions/web/social-actions-website-copy
- or copy & paste it into your browser's address bar if that doesn't
work.
Philk
people should be able to go directly to the search page. It seems like
the link from home to 'Take Action' would go to the list of 5 ways to
take action. I'm thinking it would be best to have the 'Take Action'
link go to the search page directly; envisioning 80%+ of users will
want that. On the search page, or on another page like 'more options,
or 'other actions you can take', list the other 4 additional action
types. Maybe you're addressing this already.
Philk
possible, like 'Find an action by location, cause, or keyword'. I
think words like 'search interface' are a bit geeky. Maybe setting a
positive tone is important; in a non-preachy way like; ie: 'Act now
and address issues that matter' ; ' 'Take action now:' I think the
word 'search' is fine for a button label on the search page, but i
think that finding and taking action is what the search does, so using
terms like that may be better than 'use our search page....'
arwenf...@gmail.com
So many exciting things going on! I'm only just having time to catch
up.
As for the copy, here are some basic editorial suggestions:
Under 'Services for Philanthropies'
Quick grammar/spelling change: "We also have an expert sense of what
makes some micro-philanthropy strategies better than other." (should
read better than others, plural)
Under 'Who We Are'
For your name, I think this should say "Founder" not "Found," right?
I'm going to think about the layout of the page more today and I hope
to send you more in-depth feedback soon. I like Phil's suggestion of
going straight to the search page! Great idea.
All the best - and congratulations!
Arwen
On Jul 10, 5:02 pm, Peter Deitz <peterde...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all, I've spent quite a while working on this revised website
> copy. Please have a look and let me know what needs to change. Or
> just write in the changes yourself. I've already mentioned to a few
> people that I'd like their help in reviewing this copy before it goes
> lives. I'll follow up with individual emails to those people (Phil
> Klein and a few others).
>
> Points to keep in mind:
>
> -The hyperlinks that I envision aren't included
> -I'm aiming for brevity and clarity
> -The actual pages will include visuals
> -We'll retain the same overal website design (for now)
>
> My goal is to have this website copy live by the end of next week.
>
> All the best,
> Peter
>
Peter Deitz
These are good suggestions. I'll try to de-geek some of the language in
the coming days.
All the best,
Peter
Peter Deitz
Let's do this: I'll include the search form as the main content on the
"Ways to Take Action" page. The mashup prototype page doesn't currently
have the format and design of the rest of Social Actions. As a result,
I'm reluctant to link all the way to mashup.socialactions.com. At this
point, the user could easily lose interest and close the window.
One of the first priorities in the contract with the Bratt Collective
will be to relocate all of the prototype files on the main Social
Actions server.
All the best,
Peter
Peter Deitz
Thanks for catching the typos. I will correct them immediately. Just
so everyone knows, the revised website copy is already implemented. At
this point, I am making corrections directly on the Social Actions website.
All the best,
Peter
Peter Deitz
I have fixed the typos in the live version of the site. It turns out
that the sentences about knowing "what makes some micro-philanthropy
strategies better than others" didn't make it onto the main site. But
thanks for catching the other typo.
If you have any thoughts on the layout / structure, please share.
All the best,
Peter
Peter Deitz
I have changed the wording of the first "way to take action". Thanks to
your suggestion, it now reads, "Find an action by location, cause, or
keyword." Once we have migrated the mashup prototype to the main Social
Actions server, we will have the links to 'take action' go straight to
the search query box.
All the best,
Peter