hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys. my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
livey mickey
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This sounds like a pretty confusing time in your life. But the main thing you need to understand right now is that that's perfectly normal. You don't need to label yourself yet. You may ultimately consider yourself bi, maybe not, but if it takes you a while to figure it all out, that's just fine. Hey, I didn't figure it out till I was 21, so you're well ahead of me!!!
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents yet -- and it's true that some parents react worse than they expect to, or their kids expect them to -- you might try looking for your local chapter of PFLAG: Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays. You can find your nearest chapter on their Web site, www.pflag.org.
> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i > think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know > if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking > in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys. > my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me > but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
> livey mickey
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> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i > think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know > if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking > in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys. > my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me > but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
Hey Livey!
In your age the sexuality is still developing and your experiences can "fine tune" this sexuality. It would be better for you if you stick with guys, at least for some time. There's nothing bad in being gay, but straights simply have easier lifes.
Do you have any reasons not to believe your parents? At first you're their daughter. If they say that they will still love you, they will do.
Greetings.
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In article <E1GbWeQ-0005h1...@richmond.servershost.net>, livey
<SingO...@aol.com> wrote: > hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i > think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know > if im gay straight bi or what. please help me.
There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling, and you don't have to do anything about them.
One of the things you particularly *don't* have to do is give yourself a label. It's hard enough just trying to be yourself, without also having to live up to other people's expectations. If people expect you to be straight, that's not helpful to you; but substitute "gay" or "bi" or anything else doesn't help, either. Just accept your feelings, and do your best to figure out how to live your life each day.
Nothing you decide now is going to be particularly real in a year or two, anyway.
> my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me > but i dont belive them.
Why not? A lot of teens have a hard time communicating with their parents (and vice versa!!) about sexuality. Even parents who don't want to consider the possibility of having a queer kid often come around and find that love overrides prejudice. Since your folks have already expressed being open to the idea, I can't imagine why you shouldn't believe them, unless they are compulsive liars...???
Of course, the hard part is always loving yourself, first. If you can do that, other people usually join you. If you can't, that would explain why you find it hard to believe that other people can.
Most adults understand that most teens have some degree of doubt about their sexuality. I hope you'll talk to your folks, or someone else you can trust, just so you'll have the experience of expressing your confusion and *not* being rejected because of it.
-- alan
You cannot reason a person out of a position that he did not reason himself into to begin with. --Jonathan Swift
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On Thu, 2 Nov 2006 12:09:25 CST, Alterek <alte...@o2.pl> wrote: >Spinacz biurowy, livey <SingO...@aol.com>!
>> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i >> think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know >> if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking >> in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys. >> my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me >> but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
>Hey Livey!
>In your age the sexuality is still developing and your experiences can "fine >tune" this sexuality. It would be better for you if you stick with guys, at >least for some time. There's nothing bad in being gay, but straights simply >have easier lifes.
>Do you have any reasons not to believe your parents? At first you're their >daughter. If they say that they will still love you, they will do.
>Greetings.
I don't think that's necessarily very good advice. You're assuming that just because the original poster is young, her feelings for girls are, essentially, a "phase." And I don't think it's true that people can "fine tune" their sexuality to the extent that they can just rid themselves of feelings for people of the same gender. That's dangerously close to endorsing reparative therapy, which nearly all legitimate psychologists and mental health professionals have denounced.
For instance, what if Livey finds she can't "let go" of her feelings for girls? Has she failed in her "fine tuning" process? I don't think so.
Kalev
-- Walking on eggshells isn't all it's cracked up to be.
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