My girlfriend left me for her ex-boyfriend
CAT
one month ago that she was saying that she want to move in with me!
I am 24 and she is 25.We were separated for a month due to the
holidays and when she came back she was completely changed.I am about
to go mad in here and my English is not very good.It's hard for me to
explain in English what happened and what I feel.She got separated
from her ex 2 years ago and now the guy comes back and she finds out
that she loves him .She said to me too that she loved me!I am about to
lose my confidence in women.All I want now is to be alone, and never
be with another woman again.I still love her, I can't hate her i wish
I could but all I can think of is that she has found her true love and
she will be happy.
Thank you
Dan Hall
"CAT" <icefire...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:dcc542cf.03091...@posting.google.com...
> As I said my girlfriend left me for her ex-boyfriend,and it was only
> one month ago that she was saying that she want to move in with me!
CAT,
I understand what you are saying and I know that you are hurting right now.
That in itself is not clinical depression. You have a good reason to be
feeling hurt after having a relationship you trusted go sour. If you do not
find your mood to be improving in a reasonable length of time (who knows for
you? but probably more like weeks instead of months before you can start to
get enjoyment from your normal activities again.) If you find that you
continue to spiral downward after that you should seek some prfessional
help. Sometimes an adverse event can trigger a major depression, but trust
the numbers, most typically recover from lifes hard knocks after a
survivable period of the blues. Continued hopelessness with no apparent real
cause is what you must watch for.
I'm not trying to just dismiss your needs... just think you should remain as
positive as you can for now and expect some improvement soon. Post again if
you want to, some of the others here may have more applicable words for you.
Someone can help. I don't know if this helps much but you might keep in mind
the old saying "it takes a woman to make you forget a woman". Good Luck.
Dan
richpav
I can imagine what it feel like to become so attached to a woman and
then suddenly be dumped by her. It leaves your brain reeling, especially
in your case where it seems like she was your anchor in a foreign country.
Having dumped and been dumped quite a few times, I can understand your
situation somewhat, but I'm not feeling the same pain as you, so my
perspective is different. Here are a few thoughts. I'd like to what you
think.
If her feelings for you can change like that in such a short time,
that's not a sign of an emotionally stable woman.
She's not the perfect woman. No woman is. And she's also not the
spokesperson for all females. Women who are more emotionally stable than
her DO exist, and at least one, maybe more, is going to be attracted to
you for who you are and won't rip your heart out, hand it to you and
say, "Woops. Sorry. My mistake." Unless you start to venture outside and
meet people again, they only way you're ever going to meet her is if she
delivers your pizza. :-) The sooner you can get over your ex and back on
the prowl, the better for you AND the woman out there who's going to be
your next girlfriend but doesn't know it yet. Go find her!
It's good that you can't hate her. That's a sign of strength. Deep down
you know that hating her will only hurt yourself.
"The weak cannot forgive, because forgiveness is an attribute of the
strong." -- Gandhi
Can you REALLY imagine getting back with her after she dumped you like
that? It sounds to me like you don't enjoy pain, so I'm not going to ask
if you're a masochist. You're not. Learn from the mistake and move on.
To me it sounds like her current boyfriend didn't learn his lesson the
first time. Don't be stupid like him. Learn from his mistake too.
You know what, I bet she thinks she is happy, just like she thought she
was happy with you. And how long until she changes her mind yet again
and decides she's happy with someone else? One of the qualities I admire
in people is the ability to make a decision and stick with it. Another
good quality is knowing it's not nice to rip someone's heart out of
their chest, because it tends to hurt.
Make a list of all the things you didn't like about her. Make a list of
all the qualities you want in your next girlfriend. Imagine what it will
feel like being with that person. (If it helps, use a little Vasoline or
hand cream while you imagine. ha ha.) Think about what kind of person
you need to become to attract that person.
And finally, some reading material to inspire you:
http://www.fastseduction.com/
Rich