No Echo
Dan Hall
read my posts without fear of negative response. My wife thinks that I only
talk because I like to hear to hear myself anyway. Could have something to
do with not having many friends left....
Or maybe everyone else knows that this site is abandoned and have all moved
on to some other warm supportive group in some little known corner of
cyberspace.....
I do my best thinking in silence anyway... and there is an element of
surreptitious pleasure in imagining that someone may come across my
ramblings someday and wonder what kind of nut would write to himself in a
deserted public place.
Hedda
"Dan Hall" <drh...@dmci.net> wrote in message
news:vm6ivoo...@corp.supernews.com...
isn't it funny ...even when you think your alone, your not.
did you know that just writing (typing) itself is theraputic. i suppose it
has to do with the fact that at least your feelings are coming out of your
body/mind and you are not holding them in giving yourself an ulcer.....
what kind of person would subscribe to a NG that no one ever
posts in ?
Hedda :-}
>
>
Dan Hall
"Hedda" <auz...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:VKT8b.8335$NM1....@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> "Dan Hall" <drh...@dmci.net> wrote in message
> news:vm6ivoo...@corp.supernews.com...
> > I'm beginning to like this group. There is very little echo in here
<snip>
A somewhat confused fifty year old bipolar who has lost his religion and
much of his self confidence but not his need to learn. That is the kind of
person who wrote the posts. Why; is an altogether different and more
difficult question, which I don't think I can answer today.
Actually started a few weeks ago to just lurk and read. Then I tried to
offer some response to other posts and was disappointed when my posts
weren't showered with glowing reviews.
Truth is (I'm a little embarrased to admit) the recent posts were trolling
efforts to find out who was out there. That's all. Thanks for responding.
Dan
Hedda
>
> "Hedda" <auz...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
> news:VKT8b.8335$NM1....@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> >
> > "Dan Hall" <drh...@dmci.net> wrote in message
> > news:vm6ivoo...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > I'm beginning to like this group. There is very little echo in here
>
> <snip>
>
> A somewhat confused fifty year old bipolar who has lost his religion and
> much of his self confidence but not his need to learn. That is the kind of
> person who wrote the posts. Why; is an altogether different and more
> difficult question, which I don't think I can answer today.
why? is one of those questions that we have to figure out on our own (i
guess). you peaked my curosity about the loss of religion and
confidence..... do tell i'd be interested to hear the story (unless it's
truly a horiffic event which might give me nitemares :-0 ) otherwise i find
it fascinating to hear what makes people think/feel the way they do... it's
a bit of a hobby of mine , trying to understand what makes people tick.
>
> Actually started a few weeks ago to just lurk and read. Then I tried to
> offer some response to other posts and was disappointed when my posts
> weren't showered with glowing reviews.
ahh.....i know that feeling! why doesnt't everyone realize how
brilliant you are (that kind of thing).
>
> Truth is (I'm a little embarrased to admit) the recent posts were trolling
> efforts to find out who was out there. That's all. Thanks for responding.
> Dan
i'm not totally sure what trolling means... i thought it was people who want
you to respond to their posts in order to get e-mail address to send
spam.... that isn't what you mean though, is it ?
the reason i subscribe is i figured someone would show up eventually :-}
i'm a 31 yr old wife and mom of 2 who suffers with depression ( it's under
controll right now ) and has had bouts with anxiety (oh yea and dysgraphia/
dyslexia that shoul explain any spelling mistakes ). and generally i try to
learn from my own and other peoples experiences.
Hedda
>
>
VlRGO BABY
if you find that little corner let me know pleeez (smile)
Dan Hall
> >
> > <snip>
> >
Losing religion and confidence didn't happen all at once so it's not a
simple story. Perhaps I can tell of some of the mile posts I past along the
way. I'll try to keep my nightmares to myself, hopefully without losing too
much of the influence they have had on my evolving state of mind.
I'm not sure how much anyone can really understand about what makes us
"tick" other than in very general terms. I used to think there were
explanations for nearly everything we (I) do, but humans are very complex
and I find myself more and more confused, intimidated and even frightened by
what we often seem so far from comprehending. Don't misinterpret my words, I
wouldn't discourage anyone from trying to understand what they might that
could help them deal with this life. After all, I suppose that's what I'm
really trying to do as well in my own way.
BTW, I used the term "trolling" in the sense of posting provocative comments
meant to elicit a particular response for the poster's gratification or
further comment. I guess it's like baiting the waters. Shameless practice
that it is, I had not thought about it being used for spamming.
I'm just glad to be able to communicate through this great equalizer of the
web with anyone that can relate with my thoughts... hopefully with some
mutual benefit to all in the group. And as far as understanding anything
posted here by others, I never think much about how it is written as long as
it is well meant. If I cannot make out the meaning the way I read it, I'll
usually just ask for clarification.
I was glad to read that you are getting some relief with your current
controls, I'm sure that you treasure every good minute with your family. I
hate losing so many beautiful sunny days when my dark clouds blocked out
even my children's happy smiles. That is a big part of the lost confidence I
mentioned, I always thought that I controlled my will, my emotions and what
I thought of as a "soul". Now I think that I am not always stronger than the
nature/nurture that directs my "sense of self" and I don't particularly like
that feeling.
Well this is getting long, I'll attempt more later on the religion stuff or
whatever. Keep smiling.
Dan
Dan Hall
"VlRGO BABY" <vlrg...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030915123615...@mb-m12.aol.com...
> awwww i read your post...and i didnt post in fear of not being read. by
the way
> if you find that little corner let me know pleeez (smile)
Fear not more than you can stand. Thanks so much for overcoming your
hesitation to respond. It means a lot to me at this time to connect in a
safe way with others. And yes, I'll be glad to pass on what I might find
that could help others. That may be the second best feature of this group.
Dan
richpav
> I'm beginning to like this group. There is very little echo in here so I can
> read my posts without fear of negative response. My wife thinks that I only
> talk because I like to hear to hear myself anyway. Could have something to
> do with not having many friends left....
I can relate to that, Dan. Your wife and mine have the same attitude,
but seeing it from her point of view I can somewhat understand.
Yeah, it's hard to keep friends when all that you think about is how
much pain you're in. It doesn't attract people to you and it doesn't
make you want go out and find friends.
I came out of depression for a few months earlier this year and the
world seem wonderful. I made friends, I performed better at my job, my
wife enjoyed being with me, I started reading bedtime stories to my
kids, etc. etc. Then I slipped back in again and for the life of me I
COULDN'T remember what it was I was thinking about that made me so happy.
So I stared finding solution to my problems. My boss is a manipulative
bully, so I found an audio book on audible.com about dealing with
difficult people. She's still difficult, but at least now I know what to
say to keep the argument from escalating.
I've also started listening to tapes from the Dalia Lama. There are two
on audible.com, and The Path to Tranquility was the one I liked the
best. I listen to them while I commute, and it gives me something to
ponder all day instead of the typical pain & suffering.
And I last week I met with the head of the human relations department,
told her about my some of my boss's managment stragegies and followed it
up with a 9 page letter with quotes and examples.
So from my experience, if you can find out a way to take control of your
thoughts and problems, that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness can be
alieved.
Rich
Dan Hall
"richpav" <ric...@payapaya.com> wrote in message
news:bkgv03$bbm$1...@nn-tk105.ocn.ad.jp...
> Dan Hall wrote:
<snip >
> Yeah, it's hard to keep friends when all that you think about is how
> much pain you're in. It doesn't attract people to you and it doesn't
> make you want go out and find friends.
Pain is not all I think about.
>
> I came out of depression for a few months earlier this year and the
> world seem wonderful. I made friends, I performed better at my job, my
> wife enjoyed being with me, I started reading bedtime stories to my
> kids, etc. etc. Then I slipped back in again and for the life of me I
> COULDN'T remember what it was I was thinking about that made me so happy.
I can relate to that. It is the biochemistry of emotion and where it leads
our thinking, our conscious thoughts continually try to adjust our
perception of the causitive environment. The tricky part is the feedback
interaction our conscious thoughts have on the neurotransmitters. Do you
think that the chemistry is the major factor or that our conscious thoughts
can be "willed" to control our moods? I consider the chemistry to be the
major factor while what we can muster up in the way of rationality and
positive effort is critical for maintaining or improving (Maybe by
triggering threshold values?) our composite average state of mind.
>
> So I stared finding solution to my problems. My boss is a manipulative
> bully, so I found an audio book on audible.com about dealing with
> difficult people. She's still difficult, but at least now I know what to
> say to keep the argument from escalating.
>
> I've also started listening to tapes from the Dalia Lama. There are two
> on audible.com, and The Path to Tranquility was the one I liked the
> best. I listen to them while I commute, and it gives me something to
> ponder all day instead of the typical pain & suffering.
>
> And I last week I met with the head of the human relations department,
> told her about my some of my boss's managment stragegies and followed it
> up with a 9 page letter with quotes and examples.
Some healthy actions on your part. Good for you. It's encourging that you
have been able to effect some positive changes. Many deppressed individuals
seem unable so far to inact such beneficial changes in their lives by
themselves.
>
> So from my experience, if you can find out a way to take control of your
> thoughts and problems, that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness can be
> alieved.
>
> Rich
>
I would like to believe it to be that simple. However, If one could really
"take control of thoughts" thereby eliminating their overwhelming feelings
of hopelessness, depression would simply be a matter of "willpower" and only
those with weak wills would be left to suffer it's agony. I don't think
that's what you really mean, but that's where that line of logic leaves me.
-Dan