Rope VS restrained
Tobie
He had it when he wore a harness when he was walking about naked at
LeatherWoods2006, he had it when he was wearing rope around the house.
However, after the hogtie and beating in the living room and then the
chair tie and pancakes in the dining room, he reached a realization.
It's not the rope alone, it's being restrained.
I love how open he is to de-briefing after play!
He tells me that as I'm tying him, he feels *responsibility* slip
away. ( he owns his own business and does his own accounting and does
his own this and does his own that...so in time away from me, he's
*on* and in his more dominant and more responsible mode ), he feels
the burden of knowing he still has something somewhere to take care of
or deal with, slowly slip away since he can't get up and go deal with
it when I have him tied and helpless.
Tobie
The Dip in the Dip Corps
SSBB Diplomatic Corps
Portland Oregon
user119
I'd bet if he looks further into it he'll find it's not really the
restraint, but the combination of trust, intimacy and chemistry
with a person he adores whom is restraining him. ;)
--
Cui bonuo
remove the -N-COLD to reply
Stephen Harris
> *on* and in his more dominant and more responsible mode ), he feels
> the burden of knowing he still has something somewhere to take care of
> or deal with, slowly slip away since he can't get up and go deal with
> it when I have him tied and helpless.
This is part of how I feel when Tori has me helpless. But moreso I
feel that all I can do is _react_. I'm unable to take the initiative,
I'm unable to evade, all I can do is react to the stimuli that she
provides. This makes it very much a focus on "here and now" and
little impinges on my consciousness outside of that. Especially when
being spanked or flogged or...
--
rgds, Stephen "Pleasure, little treasure"
An Englishman in New York, and loving slave to his Mistress, Tori.
BDSM thoughts, writings, poems and stuff: http://bdsm.spuddy.org/
Newsgroup charter, FAQs etc at http://bdsm.spuddy.org/newsgroups/
Tobie
<use...@hot-N-COLDmail.com> wrote:
>I'd bet if he looks further into it he'll find it's not really the
>restraint, but the combination of trust, intimacy and chemistry
>with a person he adores whom is restraining him. ;)
I wanted to think this over for a bit.
I'm a talker, if something is in the air I'm likely to bring it up.
But, I think this is for him to come to on his own terms and in his
own time and way.
Thank you, thinking that's a possibility does make me smile.
Tobie
wrote:
>This is part of how I feel when Tori has me helpless. But moreso I
>feel that all I can do is _react_. I'm unable to take the initiative,
>I'm unable to evade, all I can do is react to the stimuli that she
>provides. This makes it very much a focus on "here and now" and
>little impinges on my consciousness outside of that. Especially when
>being spanked or flogged or...
He's said things that translate closely to that. That he loves to '
live in the moment of us'. That sounds close to what you expressed.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's good to get feedback from
experienced men, on how they view it from these positions/situations.
Tobie
Dragonfly
"Tobie" <mizte...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:kgtjl2pbe9hvlelqe...@4ax.com...
> Philip thought he had a thing for rope.
> He tells me that as I'm tying him, he feels *responsibility* slip
> away. ( he owns his own business and does his own accounting and does
> his own this and does his own that...so in time away from me, he's
> *on* and in his more dominant and more responsible mode ), he feels
> the burden of knowing he still has something somewhere to take care of
> or deal with, slowly slip away since he can't get up and go deal with
> it when I have him tied and helpless.
>
> Tobie
I used to feel like that, about bondage. Being tied up (not with ropes,
back then it was with leather cuffs, locks, and chains) left me in that
state of mind where nothing matters but what I am feeling. There is no
tomorrow, yesterday doesn`t exist anymore. I don`t have any
responsibilities, duties, stresses... my mind is fully occupied by what is
being done in the moment *right now* Used to be the most relaxing thing I`d
every experienced, and a guaranteed way to get me to de-stress and calm down
when life`s problems got to be too much to deal with.
It didn`t reall matter what restraints were used; it was the sensation of
being bound, helpless, not in control, not active. I loved it, I really miss
that state of being.
Dragonfly
Tobie
<mars_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>I used to feel like that, about bondage. Being tied up (not with ropes,
>back then it was with leather cuffs, locks, and chains) left me in that
>state of mind where nothing matters but what I am feeling. There is no
>tomorrow, yesterday doesn`t exist anymore.
*nods*
> I don`t have any
>responsibilities, duties, stresses... my mind is fully occupied by what is
>being done in the moment *right now* Used to be the most relaxing thing I`d
>every experienced, and a guaranteed way to get me to de-stress and calm down
>when life`s problems got to be too much to deal with.
I think there is some of that for most folks who like the type of
restraint I'm talking about.
>
>It didn`t reall matter what restraints were used; it was the sensation of
>being bound, helpless, not in control, not active. I loved it, I really miss
>that state of being.
Philip had bottomed before but he'd never surrendered to anyone.
I'm honestly wondering if I should have him in that position with
someone else that I trust, with me not there. That way he'd be able to
have something else to compare what he's feeling with me to and
..hrmmm I'm not sure how to word what I want to express...
He'd have separate examples of these emotions and he'd know whether it
was his bond with me that produces these feelings or simply the
restraint.
Troia
> On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:59:51 -0800, "Dragonfly"
> <mars_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>> I used to feel like that, about bondage. Being tied up (not with ropes,
>> back then it was with leather cuffs, locks, and chains) left me in that
>> state of mind where nothing matters but what I am feeling. There is no
>> tomorrow, yesterday doesn`t exist anymore.
>
> *nods*
>
>> I don`t have any
>> responsibilities, duties, stresses... my mind is fully occupied by what is
>> being done in the moment *right now* Used to be the most relaxing thing I`d
>> every experienced, and a guaranteed way to get me to de-stress and calm down
>> when life`s problems got to be too much to deal with.
>
> I think there is some of that for most folks who like the type of
> restraint I'm talking about.
>
>> It didn`t reall matter what restraints were used; it was the sensation of
>> being bound, helpless, not in control, not active. I loved it, I really miss
>> that state of being.
>
> Philip had bottomed before but he'd never surrendered to anyone.
> I'm honestly wondering if I should have him in that position with
> someone else that I trust, with me not there. That way he'd be able to
> have something else to compare what he's feeling with me to and
> He'd have separate examples of these emotions and he'd know whether it
> was his bond with me that produces these feelings or simply the
> restraint.
>
> Tobie
> The Dip in the Dip Corps
> SSBB Diplomatic Corps
> Portland Oregon
My own feeling, as a bottomly sort of person, is that the restraint (as
other forms of play) can provoke the sensations, the acts themselves
cause certain ingrained responses ... but doing so with a trusted
cared-for partner substantially deepens and enhances those responses,
makes it possible to go to a whole different level.
I suspect this is typical although perhaps over-generalized. Many of us
can submit in play or relatively casually, but the level of submission
with an intimate partner is different and deeper, so that we can go to
places and do things that we could never happily do in more casual play.
That's just my impression, of course. *s*
-- Troia
Brian G (Upstairs)
:-)
Brian
--
--
___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
"Tobie" <mizte...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:kgtjl2pbe9hvlelqe...@4ax.com...
Stephen Harris
> On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:42:43 -0500, bd...@spuddy.org (Stephen Harris)
> >provides. This makes it very much a focus on "here and now" and
> He's said things that translate closely to that. That he loves to '
> live in the moment of us'. That sounds close to what you expressed.
> Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's good to get feedback from
> experienced men, on how they view it from these positions/situations.
Well, you're welcome to my thoughts. I won't say I'm "experienced",
however! Still a relative newbie, really.
Stephen Harris
> My own feeling, as a bottomly sort of person, is that the restraint (as
> other forms of play) can provoke the sensations, the acts themselves
> cause certain ingrained responses ... but doing so with a trusted
> cared-for partner substantially deepens and enhances those responses,
> makes it possible to go to a whole different level.
This is definitely true for me. If Tori ordered me to bottom with
another person then I'd get the physical sensations and so on... but it
wouldn't be the same. The after care (as important as the scene itself)
would be _different_ and so the overall "feeling" of the scene would
change.
Unless, Tori was there observing and protecting me and provided the
aftercare... then, even if she wasn't whipping me, she's still part of
the scene. We have done that once before (she warmed me up, a friend
joined in and took over with Tori onlooking, then she provided
aftercare).
user119
> On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:41:04 -0800, user119
> <use...@hot-N-COLDmail.com> wrote:
>
>>I'd bet if he looks further into it he'll find it's not really the
>>restraint, but the combination of trust, intimacy and chemistry
>>with a person he adores whom is restraining him. ;)
>
> I wanted to think this over for a bit.
>
> I'm a talker, if something is in the air I'm likely to bring it up.
> But, I think this is for him to come to on his own terms and in his
> own time and way.
> Thank you, thinking that's a possibility does make me smile.
Thinking about this and what I wrote, I need to add this - I'm sure
the restraint itself does do something for him. When I read your
original post I heard in my head, "When you [Tobie] tie me [Phillip]
up ..." I guess this is because of the history you and he have
already established, and, that he mentioned it to you inferred
that while it was good before, it got better and deserved to be
specifically mentioned. Make sense?
Sunnie
Here's something I hate about myself. When the phone rings during sex
I still reach for it before thinking. Usually I stop before picking it
up but I hate that it was an interruption. But when I'm tied down even
the reflex goes away. Too bad, let it ring, I'm tied up at the moment,
LOL!!
There was one time I wished I could get up to answer it. That's when I
knew when he was SUPPOSED to be home so I tied myself in the bed for
him. When the phone rang I couldn't answer it but I heard him leave a
message that he was stuck at the office and would be home late after
dinner. For the rest of that night all I could think was "you don't
need to pee, you don't need to pee, you don't need to pee ..."
L
Troia
> ...
> There was one time I wished I could get up to answer it. That's when I
> knew when he was SUPPOSED to be home so I tied myself in the bed for
> him. When the phone rang I couldn't answer it but I heard him leave a
> message that he was stuck at the office and would be home late after
> dinner. For the rest of that night all I could think was "you don't
> need to pee, you don't need to pee, you don't need to pee ..."
>
> L
With vast apologies, I'm not laughing *with* you, I'm laughing *at* you!
-- Troia
(not really so mean)