Off of Foole/Flambe ongoing debate...what if your sub is the one to create the mindfuck, all on their own?
Akasha
I don't know if Jay is even reading these threads anymore. I will
admit I was only able to read a handful of them but I think I touched
on most of the major points. I don't play that heavy, so it is not an
issue for me.
But I must ask, because a lot of this has to do with headspace
(mindfuck). What if a top is in a scene with a sub, relatively
simple, but the sub goes into the mindspace on their own that they are
about to be killed? And really, really, really gets into it. Maybe
that have had practice at this.
A top might have no idea this is happening. And just like any scene,
they must just deal with the consequences. But my point is that this
kind of thing can happen under the radar just as easily as
self-proclaimed edge players do it. And even the most careful top
might never see it coming.
You may argue that it is not intense as a top pushing that thought
upon the bottom and really working to make it feel real, but I have
met some subs that can psych themselves up all by their own to believe
something in the right circumstances.
Any experiences, good or bad, with tops or bottoms in this situation?
Akasha
http://www.akashaweb.com
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AlterEgo
regarding my evolving relationship with my partner. I can only speak
for myself and my situation.
I have been having sm sex with my husband for several years; he has
been my only partner.
A few weeks ago I found myself grappling with certain issues when he
pulled a knife on me for the first time. It is not safe, logical or
sane to willingly allow *any* person to put a knife to your throat.
As such, my predominantly sane and logical brain struggled with this
practice on many levels. But the experience was so delicious... so
exciting. I LIKE the fact that my partner is able to bring to a place
where I cannot be *sure* of how I will react emotionally, physically
or psychologically. We do not play-act in our scenes. We are not
pretending.
If I predominantly enjoyed comfortable, "safe" sex, I wouldn't be
reading or posting on this forum. Vanilla just isn't my flavor of
choice: not even when it is cleverly disguised in black leather :)
I am now much more familiar with even the sharp edge of the blade.
Yes, I am intensely aware as we do this that I am a mere hiccup away
from death. I know that all it would take is a sleight of hand, or a
swift, uncalculated movement on my behalf. But this is a big part of
what makes me so hot for this particular activity.
I have jumped out of an airplane, been involved in competitive diving
and have rafted down one of the most turbulent rivers in Canada. I
routinely trek into the backwoods for wilderness hiking, with only a
compass, a map and limited essentials at my disposition. Had I not
been thrust into my actual career path, I would have earned my
professional pilot's license by now. I like risk, folks. However, I
also *trust* my partner: so much so that words cannot even begin to do
the sentiment justice. He makes me feel so profoundly and completely
safe that I am willing to put my life in his hands whenever he
requests it of me. In a scene, I belong to him, period. I don't put
a *part* of myself into his hands when he is beating or otherwise
torturing me, I put all of myself there. Anything short of that would
prove intensely dissatisfying. So trust underlies it- making such
explorations possible in the first place- but this trust does nothing
to dull the sharp edge of the knife pressing into my skin. It does
not make my fear in this instance any less real. It just gives us
both a relatively safe forum in which to explore our… complimentary
urges... he he.
The fact that he is my husband, and that we are coming from a position
of profoundly rooted trust does not change the fact that I could get
killed doing some of the things we do. A part of me primitively
craves to be abused and savagely beaten for no other reason than to
feel that sweet pain... He's been calling me a painslut long before
either of us knew that such a term had been coined... lol! But it is
also the thrill of not being 100% safe, of not knowing, of not being
able to predict exactly what the scene's outcome will be.
I am no fool. I see the strange light in his eyes when he rubs the
knife all over me, probing… I know he really *wants* to cut me. I
know how stiff it makes him to bring the sharp edge of the blade to my
throat. I can feel the scalding lust rolling off him in waves when he
beats me. I know that he means business; that on some level he truly
craves to hurt and terrify me, but I feed on that. I *want* to
provoke him to the very brink of self-control, to say things that will
inflame him and bring us closer to the very edge of sanity ("cut me…
smear the blood all over my body, and lick it, make me lick it…. then
beat me senseless while you fuck me, just please… make it… hurt…") I
say things like this, and I mean what I say. He's hasn't cut me yet,
and I don't know if he will- but not knowing is part of what excites
me.
Our relationship is very symbiotic. He reminds me of this with every
punch, every slap, and every stripe that I crave.
This way of "playing" involves an element of real fear that is
somewhat akin to what Asmodeous described in the post that started
this thread. I don't even really like to call it playing, because it
isn't, really. But whatever you want to call it, I am savoring it at
my own pace… processing it delightfully, in the same way as when I
discovered how much I enjoy pain from his hand. If I didn't like it,
he wouldn't do it, and the opposite is just as true.
I am not going into this blindly. Truthfully, there have been times I
have wondered if I am slowly nurturing a serial killer. But this is
to his credit. He is a very convincing sadist, because he *is* a
sadist lol! But he is not a lunatic.
When the sex is over and I am not only alive, but thrilled from
tip to toe, I remember that I am talking to the guy who will escort
*spiders* out of our apartment rather than kill them. I see the
loving father and husband who shares in all of my hopes and dreams,
who lifts me up in times of trial and comforts me in times of sadness.
I see the person whom I know would throw himself in front of a
moving train without a moment's hesitation to protect his little
family. And then I know, once again, that I am truly safe. Safer
than many people in vanilla relationships, because the quality of our
marriage is so good. And I feel so damned lucky.
I don't think that I would ever "play" this way with anyone I didn't
know almost as well as I know myself. There have been times my
partner
really scared me. But I count these as the best scenes of all. The
fear itself *is* real, just as real as it is right before your chute
opens and you know for sure they won't be scraping *your ass* off the
road.
The way I see it is this: I trusted the pilot and the pimply faced kid
who packed my chute enough to let them take me up in a plane just so
that I
could jump out. This was a calculated risk… one with which I was
comfortable. Likewise, my husband and I are comfortable with what we
do. We take calculated risks, but how much more do I trust my
husband than the pimply-faced kid who packed my parachute? A hell of
a lot more, thanks.
It is our bedroom, and what we do in our bedroom is our business.
For me, that is enough said.
ayla
news:ba719d5e.04010...@posting.google.com...
> This thread touches on certain realizations that I've been
having
> regarding my evolving relationship with my partner. I can only
speak
> for myself and my situation.
>
>
> It is our bedroom, and what we do in our bedroom is our
business.
> For me, that is enough said.
::applauds::
ayla
--
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jenner
> This thread touches on certain realizations that I've been having
> regarding my evolving relationship with my partner. I can only speak for
> myself and my situation.
>
> I have been having sm sex with my husband for several years; he has been
> my only partner.
>
> A few weeks ago I found myself grappling with certain issues when he
> pulled a knife on me for the first time. It is not safe, logical or sane
> to willingly allow *any* person to put a knife to your throat. As such, my
> predominantly sane and logical brain struggled with this practice on many
> levels. But the experience was so delicious... so exciting. I LIKE the
> fact that my partner is able to bring to a place where I cannot be *sure*
> of how I will react emotionally, physically or psychologically. We do not
> play-act in our scenes. We are not pretending.
[...]
> It is our bedroom, and what we do in our bedroom is our business. For me,
> that is enough said.
And well said too. My compliments.
--
-- jenner
Philip the Foole
AlterEgo wrote (re: her husband):
> Truthfully, there have been times I have wondered if I am slowly nurturing a serial killer.
I like this guy already.
Great post! Let's hear more from you.
Your Humble Jester,
Philip the Foole
The only difference between me and the Surrealists is that I am a
Surrealist.
- Ancient Kung Foole Proverb by Salvador Dali
Psyfuru
>The only difference between me and the Surrealists is that I am a
>Surrealist.
>- Ancient Kung Foole Proverb by Salvador Dali
Dali wrote a text, that Dover has, I don't have the title--it's over with my
son, but something like "the fifty rules of painting."
It's just gorgeous, in terms of it's egocetric Daliness.
f
Asmodeus
news:ba719d5e.04010...@posting.google.com:
> I am no fool. I see the strange light in his eyes when he rubs the
> knife all over me, probing. I know he really *wants* to cut me. I
> know how stiff it makes him to bring the sharp edge of the blade to my
> throat. I can feel the scalding lust rolling off him in waves when he
> beats me. I know that he means business; that on some level he truly
> craves to hurt and terrify me, but I feed on that. I *want* to
> provoke him to the very brink of self-control, to say things that will
> inflame him and bring us closer to the very edge of sanity ("cut me.
> smear the blood all over my body, and lick it, make me lick it.. then
> beat me senseless while you fuck me, just please. make it. hurt.") I
> say things like this, and I mean what I say. He's hasn't cut me yet,
> and I don't know if he will- but not knowing is part of what excites
> me.
>
> Our relationship is very symbiotic. He reminds me of this with every
> punch, every slap, and every stripe that I crave.
I just couldn't bring myself to snip this. Absolutely
beautiful.
> I am not going into this blindly. Truthfully, there have been times I
> have wondered if I am slowly nurturing a serial killer. But this is
> to his credit. He is a very convincing sadist, because he *is* a
> sadist lol! But he is not a lunatic.
The best sadist is a sadist. Indeed.
> It is our bedroom, and what we do in our bedroom is our business.
> For me, that is enough said.
<applause>
--
"Why not go to war just for oil? We need oil. What do Hollywood
celebrities imagine fuels their private jets? How do they think
their cocaine is delivered to them?"
--Ann Coulter
Asmodeus
@News.CIS.DFN.DE:
> What if a top is in a scene with a sub, relatively
> simple, but the sub goes into the mindspace on their own that they are
> about to be killed?
That is the idea(l).
--
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Dark
> He is a very convincing sadist, because he *is* a
> sadist lol! But he is not a lunatic.
> When the sex is over and I am not only alive, but thrilled from
> tip to toe, I remember that I am talking to the guy who will escort
> *spiders* out of our apartment rather than kill them.
::blink:: that made me smile. i'm glad to know there are truly
compassionate sadists out there.
ummm... unless of course, he just feels a special bond with /spiders/.
darkoshi