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SSC2006 {Fanfiction} The Case of the Caned Maid
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anon ymous
Aug 30, 2006, 9:19:42 PM8/30/06
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"Holmes you must help, the poor girl was sprung upon
from behind her assailant held her down and caned her,
6 of the best by George. She was too distraught to get
a look at the blaggard as he ran off."
"Calm yourself Watson, the hunt is already afoot. The
servants in the grounds say no one has entered or left
the premises. What does that tell you?"
"The villain must be in the house!"
"And the cane my dear Watson. Find the cane and it
will lead us to the caner. His Lordship has had the
house searched and the possible implements labeled
with their location and collected here. 5 I see, we
must test each in turn and compare the results but
first I must add my own stick."
"But you have had that with you the whole time. Surely
it must be that crook handled cane."
"I suspect everyone Watson including myself, and you
must stop jumping to conclusions. Young lady, come
forward and bend over this table. Watson you are a
medical man perhaps you should disrobe her."
"But Sir I was fully dressed when I was attacked.''
"We need to see the stripes for comparison. Right. I
shall begin with this."
"But it's curved and her stripes..."
Whack.
Yeoch.
"I see you are correct Watson. Next the riding crop."
"But Holmes it has a wide tab on the end whereas..."
Thwack.
“Aargh please stop!”
"Observe Watson the tab at the end has caused a red
splotch this too is eliminated. Now my own stick."
"Is an inch thick and you can see..."
Wham.
"Oh Christ no. I don't care who it was just let me
go."
"Quiet girl. Yes too wide. Next this saddle chord."
"But Holmes it is very flexible and you can see from
her weals that a semi rigid implement was used."
''So you are an expert on weals? Interesting - do they
teach that at medical school?''
Whip.
“Oooou. Please sirs I can't stand anymore, let's just
forget it."
"Obstructing a criminal investigation is a serious
offence girl. Now get back over that table before you
find yourself at the assizes. 2 possibilities left - I
will try the quirt."
Swish. Crack.
Aaargh.
"Stop screaming girl I can't hear myself think. The
stripe looks similar did it feel the same?"
''No - I don't think so Sir."
''So - not sure? Have another go."
Swish. Crack.
''No no not that one."
"So obviously it was the cane Holmes."
''Obvious to you and me Watson but an English court of
law will demand proof not inference.''
Swish. Whack.
''Hm - looks good."
"Yes that was it Sir. I would swear on a stack of
Bibles."
''According to the label the cane was in the umbrella
stand in the hallway"
''Anyone could have put it there Holmes."
''Quite. Well you can't solve them all. To Baker St
Watson."
from behind her assailant held her down and caned her,
6 of the best by George. She was too distraught to get
a look at the blaggard as he ran off."
"Calm yourself Watson, the hunt is already afoot. The
servants in the grounds say no one has entered or left
the premises. What does that tell you?"
"The villain must be in the house!"
"And the cane my dear Watson. Find the cane and it
will lead us to the caner. His Lordship has had the
house searched and the possible implements labeled
with their location and collected here. 5 I see, we
must test each in turn and compare the results but
first I must add my own stick."
"But you have had that with you the whole time. Surely
it must be that crook handled cane."
"I suspect everyone Watson including myself, and you
must stop jumping to conclusions. Young lady, come
forward and bend over this table. Watson you are a
medical man perhaps you should disrobe her."
"But Sir I was fully dressed when I was attacked.''
"We need to see the stripes for comparison. Right. I
shall begin with this."
"But it's curved and her stripes..."
Whack.
Yeoch.
"I see you are correct Watson. Next the riding crop."
"But Holmes it has a wide tab on the end whereas..."
Thwack.
“Aargh please stop!”
"Observe Watson the tab at the end has caused a red
splotch this too is eliminated. Now my own stick."
"Is an inch thick and you can see..."
Wham.
"Oh Christ no. I don't care who it was just let me
go."
"Quiet girl. Yes too wide. Next this saddle chord."
"But Holmes it is very flexible and you can see from
her weals that a semi rigid implement was used."
''So you are an expert on weals? Interesting - do they
teach that at medical school?''
Whip.
“Oooou. Please sirs I can't stand anymore, let's just
forget it."
"Obstructing a criminal investigation is a serious
offence girl. Now get back over that table before you
find yourself at the assizes. 2 possibilities left - I
will try the quirt."
Swish. Crack.
Aaargh.
"Stop screaming girl I can't hear myself think. The
stripe looks similar did it feel the same?"
''No - I don't think so Sir."
''So - not sure? Have another go."
Swish. Crack.
''No no not that one."
"So obviously it was the cane Holmes."
''Obvious to you and me Watson but an English court of
law will demand proof not inference.''
Swish. Whack.
''Hm - looks good."
"Yes that was it Sir. I would swear on a stack of
Bibles."
''According to the label the cane was in the umbrella
stand in the hallway"
''Anyone could have put it there Holmes."
''Quite. Well you can't solve them all. To Baker St
Watson."
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Y. Lee Coyote
Aug 30, 2006, 10:22:29 PM8/30/06
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Y.
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