Long Intro with details on how I was punished.
billy
Billy and I would like to tell you about my self and my spanking
fetish. The reason for joining is I have a desire to post memories of
my childhood spanking memories. For me this is both erotic and an
emotional exploration into my sexuality. If you want to skip the
emotional stuff and just read about how I was punished its about a
third of the way down.
I enjoy spankings that involves a maternal figure spanking a boy
between the ages of 7-15, with me preferably being the young man.
Searching the web it seems this particular "fetish" has a small
subgroup and not many places to share.
I'm more of a writer than a reader as most of the eroticism for me
comes from spankings that I have received myself.
Just recently I've gained the courage to start seeking spanking
partners and originally wrote this to assist in understanding the
nature of my fetish. It's a little long but I think some enjoy.
I will post my some of my memories in the future if anyone is
interested. I welcome comments and ask for others to share similar
experiences.
My childhood was both great and horrible. It was horrible because my
mom abused me physically and emotionally. How and why I was spanked
lead me to believe that she was afflicted with a sexual desire to
spank me. Although as an adult I look back at these spankings as
abusive I can not help the erotic feelings I now have for them. So in
that sense it was great as it provides me with memories of spankings
and associated activities that I find the most stimulating. No video,
story, or picture has ever aroused me more than remembering spankings
I received.
Growing up I was fascinated by spankings from an early age. However,
I did not enjoy any spanking I received. In my early teens and up
until I turned 21 my fantasy was to spank younger children. This has
changed gradually over time to the point where currently I no longer
think about that and instead fixated on my self being spanked by
remembering spankings I received.
(I've never spanked a child s an adult, however in my early teen years
I spanked my younger cousins to which I am embarrassed and ashamed.
Other than the spankings I never did anything sexual nor was the
spankings harsh)
In my fantasies/memories my mom is not present rather the person is a
step-mom, foster mom, baby sitter, or neighbor. I do not have any
desire to still have my real mom spank me or have any other sexual
connotations about her. Hope that make sense. I did not at the time
find the spankings I received erotic or fun. They were always fear
and pain.
I suppressed a lot of animosity towards my mother when I left the
house at age 19. However in my late twenties I started dealing with
the emotional toll it took outside of the sexual pleasures I gained
from it in adulthood.
I have forgiven my mother and dealt with the resentment issues I had
with her, my relationship is now great. Only ill effects I still have
from growing up is this fetish. Which I've never told anyone about.
I do not see it as a bad thing as I enjoy it and get great
satisfaction from drawing on memories of being punished. The
gratification is heighten because I no longer have the emotional edge
that used to accompany it.
Now I will write what makes me tick an what I believe led me to my
"deviant" sexual nature. Some of the following is some what graphic.
The phrases "Your going to get your bare ass tore up with a belt" or
"Bend over, I'm going to tear your ass up" were common in my house
growing up. They, not surprisingly and along with some others, are
the most erotic words I've ever heard. And with out question getting
a spanking while my pants and underwear is pulled down, bent over the
bed, having my mom tear my bare butt with a up with a belt is a memory
I wish I could go back in time to relive. What I write about how I
was spanked, why I was spanked, where I was spanked all has an
influence on my fantasies and I find erotic.
The word spanking has childish connotations for me as my mom never
really used the term, rather using other expressions to indicate a
punishment was coming. Only when she asked me or I described to
another adult about punishments did the word come up. In other words,
spanking was a word a child uses to express punishment. On several
occasion my mom would have me describe what type of punishment I
deserved. The words bare butt, spanking, and punishment all have the
same influence. Phrases my mom used, which are noted below, but used
with out the profanity also fall within this same facet. When using
those words or phrases it make me feel like a child.
One of my favorite things to do when I'm playing is after being
instructed by my mom to repeat what type of punishment I deserve.
Most of the time the following was said; I need to pull my pants down
and have my bare butt tore up with a belt. This is said with
trepidation, fear and general embarrassment and unwillingness to say
it and occurred often.
I was spanked between 4-7 times a week uptill sometime after my 14th
birthday. After that it was 4-5 times a month. She probably no
longer got the satisfaction past this point subsequently lesser
spankings.
On rare occasions I was spanked by other people as well. Once I was
spanked by a pricipal on my bare butt at my moms urging. Another time
a teacher who was visting my house witnessed then joined in a
spanking. I was spanked 3 times by neighbors one of which I belived
shared my mothers sexual spanking interest as she was present at
several of my punishments. I was spanked by a baby sitter with a
friend. This spanking was playful at first but turned real and is one
of my most erotic memories. Other than my mom these are the only
people I've ever been spanked by. Never been spanked by my dad or any
other male.
My mom had a few phrases that indicated what implement was going to be
used. "Your going to get your ass tore up" or "I'm going to wear your
ass out" indicated a belt was going to be used. "I'm going to blister
your ass" Indicated a paddle, wooden board, or hairbrush. "Your going
to get an ass cutting" indicated a switch. One lesser used phrase was
"Your going to get your ass whipped" was sometimes used for the belt
but also meant on rare occasions an extension cord or wire clothes
hanger.
My mom also emphasized that I was going to get punished with my pants
pulled down. It was always warned when threatens with a spanking she
would "bare my ass". All of my spankings up until sometime after my
14th birthday was administered on my bare butt, all punishments after
this time were still given with my pants pulled down and underwear up
although several threats of pulling my underwear down was made. Only
three times from what I remember was I spanked with my underwear down
after this point in time. Twice by my mom, both for sexually based
offenses. And once by a neighbor when I was 15 for a sexually based
offense. Masturbation was the offense and is ironic as I now get
pleasure from what they did to me.
The severity of my spanking were pretty dramatic. My mom whipped me
fast and severe, rarely allowing a second to pass before the next lick
landed. I was not supposed to move or block with my hands while being
punished. If I did steps were taking to elevate the pain or
embarrassment level of the spanking. These included changing
positions, going out side to get a switch, getting another spanking,
and adding more strokes.
I was spanked in a variety of different positions with the most
prevailant being bent over the arm of the couch or bent over the bed.
Others include, standing bent over hugging my knees, which primarily
was used when getting the switch or paddle/board. Laying across the
bed was used with the belt. I was spanked in the diaper position on a
several occasions, most of which had to do with me moving while
getting a spanking. I was once spanked in the kneeling position with
my butt up in the air. Do not ever remember getting spanked over the
knee and consequently not to many sexual connotations about this
position although I still have some. I was bent over a foot stool
quite a bit as well. I was punished a few times in the tub with a
hairbrush. Those were conducted with me standing and my face in my
moms stomach while she spanked my wet bottom. This are also
incredibly erotic probably because I found these spankings quite
embarrassing.
I was not a bad kid growing up and most of my spankings were for
trivial reasons. This is a crux of my fetish. Being spanked for not
doing anything wrong or some perceived trivial transgression turns me
on. A example: I had my own bathroom growing up and no one but me
used it, my mom walked in one day and the toilet seat was left up and
she decided to tear my butt up for that. Another example is her
"reminder spankings". Their was a three year stretch from when I was
10 until I was 13 where I was spanked every Sunday night during the
school year to "remind" me to do well in school. Once when I was ten
or elven she gave me a bare butt birthday spanking in which I kept
squirming and subsequently turning into a real spanking.
Another crux is my mindset while getting spanked. I always submitted
to the spanking as if I knew I deserved it. I never argued with my
mom about getting a spanking nor did I feel abused at the time. When
told to bend over I complied and awaited my deserved punishment. After
reading others experiences I find that I was a rare child who during
the spanking actually thought about the perceived wrong doing and what
I would do not let it happen again.
This leads me to another facet. Spanking within spankings. If I did
something wrong while being punished my mom would then spank me for
that wrong doing, and once that was complete she would continue with
the spanking I was receiving for the original transgression. An
example of this would be moving out of the way or putting my hands in
the way.
If there is one thing I regret is never looking at a mirror after my
spankings, as I'm sure my butt was red and looked great.
Almost always I was put in the corner after my spankings. On several
occasions I was spanked again with the most spankings I ever got in
one day was four not including being punished for moving.
Thanks for reading and sorry for being so long. I invite other
experiences and thoughts. I also welcome suggestions and comments
concerning my writing style.
Mija
> I've found this site and it appears it may fill my need. My name is
> Billy and I would like to tell you about my self and my spanking
> fetish. The reason for joining is I have a desire to post memories of
> my childhood spanking memories. For me this is both erotic and an
> emotional exploration into my sexuality. If you want to skip the
> emotional stuff and just read about how I was punished its about a
> third of the way down.
>
> I enjoy spankings that involves a maternal figure spanking a boy
> between the ages of 7-15, with me preferably being the young man.
> Searching the web it seems this particular "fetish" has a small
> subgroup and not many places to share.
<snips>
Hi Billy,
What a great delurk -- really interesting to read. I connected with a
number of issues, including having worked through past abuse in order to
both explore my fetish and connect as an adult with my parents. Like
you, I prefer to read stories involving children being spanked, which,
as you point out, limits the places I can post and find stories.
For me, I don't tend to read or write maternal spanking stories very
much. For whatever reason, whether the spankees are boys or girls
doesn't matter, but I prefer to read about male spankers when I read
about childhood spankings. This probably has to do with my mother
having been abusive in different ways than my father and our mother /
daughter relationship being mostly hostile through my childhood and teen
years.
In all cases, I don't like to read childhood spanking stories where the
parents are reasonable or just (those leave me wondering why someone so
well balanced and loving would be using CP at all). Rather there needs
to be a sort of dark injustice and abuse to the whole affair. (This is
different from a school setting where "justice" is fine, but even there,
unfairness is fine too).
> Thanks for reading and sorry for being so long. I invite other
> experiences and thoughts. I also welcome suggestions and comments
> concerning my writing style.
I'm glad you found SSS. I know there are lots of people out there who
like the F/m dynamic (I see you've already found some of them). Based
on your delurk, I'm going to try and read through the story you posted
tonight or tomorrow. :)
Welcome -- I'm glad you found us!
Peace,
Mija
--
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."