Question to all the married people, why did you do it?
VISIONARY COMPLEX
see are married people that are with eachother for 10 or more years, and
i say to myself, how boring. All i see are married men and women that
still admit to finding the opposite sex attractive and admit to being
bored, and admit to not being able to do much because their spouse gets
jealous and stuff. And i ask them, why did you get married in the first
place? There are too many attractive, interesting, different, people in
this world to be stuck to just 1 forever. I dont believe in that crap
about a soul mate. I dont believe there is only 1 person in the whole
world that is worth marrying, i believe there are millions that are. And
unless you date every person in the world how do you kno you married the
so called right one? It's unrealistic to say that theres only 1 person
in the whole world worth marrying. And i refuse to be friends with any
married women, why? Because when they got married that was their way of
saying that their husband is the only man that is good enough for them,
that no other guy is good enough for them, and even men they dont even
know are not good enough for them. And to me that is offensive. All i
hear are married people telling me to never get married because you cant
do anything, your stuck, cant date anybody else, and their bored. But i
dont feel at least bit sorry for them, nobody forced them to get
married.
Hell, ive been with my gf for 3 years and im already bored, No matter
how many new things u try with that person it is still the same person.
I admit i always look at girls and wonder what it would be like to be
with someone new, to being in somebody elses arms. You dont have to get
married, just stay in a long-term relatshionship andit's easier to get
out of. It's great not being married, getting to do what you want to do
when you want to do it, and just being free to date whoever. There are
many people in this world that are worth marrying, not just 1. There
are many people in this world thatyou can fall in love with, not just 1.
I always hear people getting married because of stupid reasons, such as,
the person makes them happy and makes them laugh. Ummmm, do you think
that is the only person in this world that can make you happy? Be
realistic.
Bela Lugosis Dead,Undead,Undead,Undead-Bauhaus.
Just When You Think You Have The Answers,I Change The Questions-Rowdy
Roddy Piper.
Wrists Are For Girls,Im Slitting My Throat-Ginger 'Ginger Snaps'.
Tom Allen
<snipped whinge>
Do your gf a favor and dump her now.
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself. I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> I am a single male that is totally against marriage, why? Because all i
> see are married people that are with eachother for 10 or more years, and
> i say to myself, how boring. All i see are married men and women that
> still admit to finding the opposite sex attractive and admit to being
> bored, and admit to not being able to do much because their spouse gets
> jealous and stuff. And i ask them, why did you get married in the first
> place? There are too many attractive, interesting, different, people in
> this world to be stuck to just 1 forever.
>
Well, I'm married and still date and see other people, so maybe I'm
outside of what you're talking about here. However, getting married to
me was a commitment that I wanted to share a path with that person for
the rest of my life. We didn't also require that we share that path
with *only* each other, although that's certainly usual. However, I
haven't regretted that choice at all.
I know lots of monogamous people who are married and happy as well,
though. People are very rich, dynamic individuals. I think you could
easily go a lifetime without running out of things to experience with
another person. Also, people change over time, and changing together
and seeing each other grow and change can make the relationship very
dynamic.
Marriage does not have to be a dead, static thing unless that's what you
make of it, even if you're monogamous. I'm not saying that you need to
get married, but I think that your conception that it's fundamentally
about the same thing every day forever is false.
toramjero
Indeed. What a rant. And he is against marriage, but has been living
with the same girl for 3 years...
Makes me think about the German communes in the 60s: "Wer zweimal mit
derselben pennt, gehört schon zum Establishment !" ( Who's sleeping
twice with the same person, already belongs to the establishment).
Visionary complex: be consistent and do just that. Never sleep with
the same woman twice.
beavith
wrote:
<shrug>
you're not ready -mentally or emotionally-.
you'll know when you are, if that time comes...
toramjero
> VISIONARY COMPLEX <PIERCED_VISONARY_COMP...@webtv.net> wrote:
> > I am a single male that is totally against marriage, why? Because all i
> > see are married people that are with eachother for 10 or more years, and
> > i say to myself, how boring. All i see are married men and women that
> > still admit to finding the opposite sex attractive and admit to being
> > bored, and admit to not being able to do much because their spouse gets
> > jealous and stuff. And i ask them, why did you get married in the first
> > place? There are too many attractive, interesting, different, people in
> > this world to be stuck to just 1 forever.
>
> > [...etc.]
>
> Well, I'm married and still date and see other people,
How do you do that, if I may ask an indiscrete question? Don't this
"other people" ask questions?
darklily
Just wanted to add myself to the list of people that are married and
seeing other people (well, only one right now, but I am very happy
about it).
I can't argue with If's view; I subscribe to it.
Darklily
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> On Oct 15, 8:09 pm, Irfon-Kim Ahmad <ir...@ambienautica.com> wrote:
>> VISIONARY COMPLEX <PIERCED_VISONARY_COMP...@webtv.net> wrote:
>> > I am a single male that is totally against marriage, why? Because all i
>> > see are married people that are with eachother for 10 or more years, and
>> > i say to myself, how boring. All i see are married men and women that
>> > still admit to finding the opposite sex attractive and admit to being
>> > bored, and admit to not being able to do much because their spouse gets
>> > jealous and stuff. And i ask them, why did you get married in the first
>> > place? There are too many attractive, interesting, different, people in
>> > this world to be stuck to just 1 forever.
>>
>> > [...etc.]
>>
>> Well, I'm married and still date and see other people,
>
> How do you do that, if I may ask an indiscrete question? Don't this
> "other people" ask questions?
Sure, and I answer them. Everything is honest and above-board.
Here is a photo that was taken just a few days ago, in fact:
http://www.ambienautica.com/ljstuff/happypolymoment.jpg
The woman to the right of me is my wife. The other three women are
women I'm dating. They are all good friends and get along well -- they
sometimes go shopping together and we hang out as a group sometimes. We
all went to Atlanta this past weekend together along with my wife's
boyfriend (who isn't in that picture). My wife travels a lot more than
I do (for her work), and we don't all live in the same place, so if
she's in the same city as one of my other girlfriends, they'll sometimes
plan to have dinner together even without me. A few weeks ago, three of
us (myself, Sarah, who is on the left, and Erin, who is beside her) all
went on a weekend trip to Montreal together to see a concert and had a
fantastic time.
(To answer the question that often comes next, no, none of them are
involved with each other -- they're just good friends.)
Dave
<08f87285-ffb3-4e13...@k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com>
toramjero <tora...@googlemail.com> was claimed to have wrote:
>How do you do that, if I may ask an indiscrete question? Don't this
>"other people" ask questions?
So what if they do?
Just be honest with everyone about all things, there is no problem.
toramjero
No, I am not going to ask that. Actually, the idea would not even have
come to my mind.
Do you know the saying that " a picture is worth thousand words"? That
picture was worth a thousand words for me. It is quite clear that you
are very happy together, and I won't ask any more questions, because I
don't want to disturb the moment. Take care, and please give each of
those women a kiss on the cheek from me.
Jana
<snip>
>
> Do you know the saying that " a picture is worth thousand words"? That
> picture was worth a thousand words for me. It is quite clear that you
> are very happy together, and I won't ask any more questions, because I
> don't want to disturb the moment. Take care, and please give each of
> those women a kiss on the cheek from me.
>
It's true, it's a lovely picture. And it's nice knowing what you look
like, Irfon-Kim.
Jana
toramjero
> In message
> <08f87285-ffb3-4e13-a0cd-adc8ce5fb...@k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com>
> toramjero <toramj...@googlemail.com> was claimed to have wrote:
>
> >How do you do that, if I may ask an indiscrete question? Don't this
> >"other people" ask questions?
>
> So what if they do?
>
> Just be honest with everyone about all things, there is no problem.
I have difficulties to imagine that a woman would still be interested
after the answer. And please, do not misinterpret my words. I am just
saying that: *I* find it *difficult*. When I try to visualize the
conversation in my head, I can't really do it in a convincing manner.
Maybe I do not have enough imagination. I think, however, that my
problem is that I simply lack any similar experience. I also said in a
different thread that I do not know how I could have a conversation of
this type without the women being offended. In my experience, even
brushing the subject has led to conflicts. So actually, "problems" can
arise, can't they?
I admit that it exists. The picture posted by Irfon-Kim Ahmad
demonstrate that the four women appreciate each other and appreciate
him too. This is not what I am talking about. I am talking about my
lack of imagination.
I like Her Hot
sounding like. and Secondly, it sounds like you don't have any faith in your
choices. Either that or you don't know what you want.
--
... 73 ... KD5QHH ... Jimmy ...
http://www.podsim.us
MSN or windows live... pod...@yahoo.com
Skype, jimmy.podsim ...blind people please note the period between the
names.
Have a great day!
"VISIONARY COMPLEX" <PIERCED_VISO...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:10115-48F...@storefull-3312.bay.webtv.net...
I like Her Hot
--
... 73 ... KD5QHH ... Jimmy ...
http://www.podsim.us
MSN or windows live... pod...@yahoo.com
Skype, jimmy.podsim ...blind people please note the period between the
names.
Have a great day!
"Irfon-Kim Ahmad" <ir...@ambienautica.com> wrote in message
news:6lmpvbF...@mid.individual.net...
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
Aww; thank you. Will do. (Which for the one person who was nearby at
the time I read this message occasioned a funny, "Here's a kiss on the
cheek from someone you don't know on USENET," conversation.) I really
am extremely lucky.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
:) Thank you!
Pilcrow
wrote:
>toramjero <tora...@googlemail.com> wrote:
Hippo wallow!
Serene Vannoy
> Here is a photo that was taken just a few days ago, in fact:
>
> http://www.ambienautica.com/ljstuff/happypolymoment.jpg
What a gorgeous group of people, as always. (First thought: "Yeah, If
doesn't have a 'type' or anything." ;-)
I wish I'd been able to be in Atlanta with y'all.
Serene
--
"I am an agnostic only to the extent that I am agnostic about fairies at
the bottom of the garden." -- Richard Dawkins
Serene Vannoy
> On Oct 17, 8:20 am, Dave <calgaryg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> In message
>> <08f87285-ffb3-4e13-a0cd-adc8ce5fb...@k13g2000hse.googlegroups.com>
>> toramjero <toramj...@googlemail.com> was claimed to have wrote:
>>
>>> How do you do that, if I may ask an indiscrete question? Don't this
>>> "other people" ask questions?
>> So what if they do?
>>
>> Just be honest with everyone about all things, there is no problem.
>
> I have difficulties to imagine that a woman would still be interested
> after the answer.
And you're not alone in feeling that way. Many women (and men) would
lose interest in someone who's seeing multiple people, but those people
are not, in general, the kind of people that out polyamorous people like
If and I would choose to date, so it works out.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> Irfon-Kim Ahmad wrote:
>
>> Here is a photo that was taken just a few days ago, in fact:
>>
>> http://www.ambienautica.com/ljstuff/happypolymoment.jpg
>
> What a gorgeous group of people, as always. (First thought: "Yeah, If
> doesn't have a 'type' or anything." ;-)
>
> I wish I'd been able to be in Atlanta with y'all.
That would have been really awesome. I hope we can manage to all be
coincident again sometime.
Norton
>Do your gf a favor and dump her now.
Seconded.
--
--- Norton
shadi....@gmail.com
your post may seem in someway repetitious , but i have to admit that
you have dealt with the predicament that face every married
couple..especially if they v been married for years...and that is
utter boredom and the lack of interest and desire for each
other...even if they convince -or fool themselves- with
otherwise ..the simple truth is that we marry for a lot of alleged
reasons..and they all or almost might sound logical at the time..but
the big question is .." could those reasons stand the test of time ?
"..i,d say " of course not. married people keep or go on being married
for a lot of socially,ethically or even economically based reasons .
but what i,m trying to say here...is that they don,t know better..they
don,t know that any kind of sexually-based relation has an expiry
date....and if u exceeded that date ..u,d be holding to an out of date
relationship...lacking the very essence of any relationship..and that
is " the thrill of desire " and by doing so you,ll end up living in
the world of " make-believe " ...!