Sexually Intimidated by new girlfriend
SnakeBit
Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
on the lack of girth. Still she seems to be very into me and I'm
starting to fancy her myself. (She's gorgeous, exciting, educated,
talented, etc,.)
Anyway, I've been conscious of my size and proficiency in bed in the
past and I don't want to disappoint her or myself. I'm also getting a
bit older (38) and feel like my erections aren't as firm as they used
to be.
I'm thinking I'll have to be creative to really please her. I'm
looking for some suggestions from you all...
P.S. Although I don't have a problem attaining an erection, I'd like
to be firmer - should I try Viagra or something similar
Really will appreciate any help here!
Playing way out of his league,
SnakeBit
Kat
> Hey,
> Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
> sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
> usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
> it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
> having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
> is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
> the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
> on the lack of girth. Still she seems to be very into me and I'm
> starting to fancy her myself. (She's gorgeous, exciting, educated,
> talented, etc,.)
My first impression after less then 10 seconds of thought? Unless you
can change your length or girth by sheer will power alone then let her
worry about her preferences. She is into you and that includes the
whole package, bad pun intended.
Some women are size junkies sure but some don't care. Some like to
talk it up the same way guys brag. In case you don't already know, the
outer third or so of the vagina even has virtually all of the nerve
endings so in terms of pleasure 6" is about 3" longer then necessary.
In other words go with the flow, either she is into you or she isn't
and it won't make anything better to stress yourself out over
something neither of you can change.
> P.S. Although I don't have a problem attaining an erection, I'd like
> to be firmer - should I try Viagra or something similar
I would defer to a licensed and trained medical profession in this
area.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
> sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
> usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
> it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
> having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
> is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
> the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
> on the lack of girth. Still she seems to be very into me and I'm
> starting to fancy her myself. (She's gorgeous, exciting, educated,
> talented, etc,.)
If she's still into you, then what you really need to focus on is
learning to just trust her on this. Just be yourself, have fun, and if
she's pleased then you have nothing to worry about, and you don't need
to change anything.
> I'm thinking I'll have to be creative to really please her. I'm
> looking for some suggestions from you all...
I think the usual suggestions apply. The biggest thing is that what
everyone likes is different, and the best thing you can do is listen, be
open-minded, and be responsive. Try a lot of things and see what gets
her going. Listen to her breathing, any sounds she makes, or if she is
willing to just tell you outright, then listen to what she has to say.
When you find something that gets her going, keep doing it. When it's
time for a change, try other things, and keep doing the next thing that
seems to be working for her. That's really more useful than any
specific, "Do this!" advice we could give you, because those tips will
be tailored to us and the people we have sex with, not to you and her.
I will say that enthusiasm and an easygoing, good-natured, fun-loving
attitude go a lot further than any amount of technique or proficiency or
skill. Sex is supposed to be fun. Don't overthink it and enjoy it and
let her know that you're enjoying it.
> P.S. Although I don't have a problem attaining an erection, I'd like
> to be firmer - should I try Viagra or something similar
Is it enough of a problem that you can't function -- like you can't
achieve penetration? If not, then I wouldn't necessarily worry too
much. If you do want to talk to your doctor about it, though, that's
probably a better source for this sort of advice than random strangers
on the internet.
Serene Vannoy
> Hey,
> Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
> sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
> usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
> it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
> having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
> is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
> the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
> on the lack of girth.
Wow, she kinda sounds like an asshole.
Serene
--
"I am an agnostic only to the extent that I am agnostic about fairies at
the bottom of the garden." -- Richard Dawkins
Wolf....@gmail.com
On the night you get together, avoid alcohol, get plenty or rest, have
at 3 days since your last ejaculation, and you'll probably be hard
enough. Then I suggest you give her your best cunnilingus. Start
slowly and be gentle working up to her clit. Stay at it until she
cums and finally wants you to stop. It will be worth the wait! If
she's impressed with your love making skills, she won't care about the
size of your dick that much. One thing women love is a man who loves
to eat pussy! Am I right, ladies?
Denny Wheeler
<ser...@serenepages.org> wrote:
>SnakeBit wrote:
>> Hey,
>> Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
>> sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
>> usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
>> it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
>> having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
>> is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
>> the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
>> on the lack of girth.
>
>Wow, she kinda sounds like an asshole.
Gee. Once again Serene and I have similar thoughts.
I'm wondering a bit about SnakeBit though--this bit really bothers me:
"...I've managed to avoid having sex with her..."
Yikes.
--
"Every single religion that has a monotheistic god
winds up persecuting someone else."
-Philip Pullman
-denny-
(not as curmudgeonly as I useta be)
SnakeBit
Thanks for the responses. Denny, not sure what you're getting at - but
I definitely am extremely attracted to her and she's seems to be very
into me as I stated before. Yeah, I'm a little gunshy, but I think
that has more to do with my insecurities than anything else. I'm old
enough and been around enough to know that I shouldn't worry about
things I can't control. So I'm just interested in the things I can -
which is why I'm here for advice. So I'll give it a shot and if it
doesn't work out, well, I may be disappointed but I certainly won't be
crushed.
As for you and Serene thinking she's an ass - she just lacks a censor
button on her mouth - it's actually one of her endearing qualities.
She really is a rather nice girl.
Appreciate all the suggestions and responses and if anybody has more
to add - I'd love to hear from you. Still curious if anybody has been
in similar situation either guy or girl.
Thanks again!
darklily
> SnakeBit wrote:
> > Hey,
> > Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
> > sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
> > usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
> > it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
> > having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
> > is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
> > the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
> > on the lack of girth.
>
> Wow, she kinda sounds like an asshole.
I guess nobody ever taught her "If you can't say something nice, don't
say anything at all."
On the flip side, I don't think he should be intimidated by her height
to begin with. I *can* understand just having a preference for a body
type though.
Darklily (who's just the opposite...I'm only 5' 3"...but I've found
that the bed is a great equalizer)
Kat
One thought would be to take her to an adult toy shop and see what
catches her eye. This obviously isn't a good idea with just anyone but
she doesn't sound like the type to get scared off all that easily so
it might be fun. It's a risk though you need to be prepared to try out
whatever she likes.
Bob Eld
"SnakeBit" <DonkF...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:6b63e64c-3a14-4acd...@l33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
Let the ball be in her court as you have already done.. Don't push it. Go
with the flow and see what develops. But, be ware. There are warning signs
with this one. If she's making comments about your girth today, tomorrow
she'll be making comments about the thickness of your wallet! In short, she
has already made you uncomfortable, it probably won't get better over time.
Crawl into bed if you want but I'd be wary of any LTR.
There are plenty of women out there who will accept you for who you are. I
wouldn't try to change who I am or take Viagra just to impress some casual
acquaintance. If you want to take Viagra, go ahead and take it but only if
you would take it anyway irrespective of her. Don't try to be who you are
not.
Dave
Wheeler(REMOVE LUNCH)<den...@TANSTAAFL.zipcon.net> was claimed to have
wrote:
>On Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:16:51 -0800, Serene Vannoy
><ser...@serenepages.org> wrote:
>
>>SnakeBit wrote:
>>> Hey,
>>> Started dating this new girl and I'm a bit intimidated by her
>>> sexually. For one thing, she's as tall as me and I'm 6'1" and I don't
>>> usually hit on girls this tall, but she picked me up so I went with
>>> it. Well, we've gone out a couple of times and I've managed to avoid
>>> having sex with her even though she's been very open to it. Problem
>>> is, she's talked about her ex and the his massive size and I'm only in
>>> the average range. (6" at best) She's handled my package and commented
>>> on the lack of girth.
>>
>>Wow, she kinda sounds like an asshole.
>
>Gee. Once again Serene and I have similar thoughts.
That had occurred to me as well, however, when I think back to all the
jokes I've made over the years that could seem horribly inappropriate
out of context (and might even seem inappropriate in context, but were
told knowing that the audience wouldn't be offended...)
I honestly didn't read as much negativity into it as some others here.
However, I'd never be that insensitive about something as sensitive as
penis size.
>I'm wondering a bit about SnakeBit though--this bit really bothers me:
>"...I've managed to avoid having sex with her..."
>
>Yikes.
Yeah, yikes is about right.
shadi....@gmail.com
first of all i have to admit that i ,m not pleased with the negativity
that your words exprress.." intimitated to begin with,i,v managed to
avoid having sex with her..and i,ll have to be creative ....to please
her....!!!"
you don,t have sex with a gorgeous woman ..just to please her. you get
into bed with her to please each other .
and if u think she,s that gorgeous..and she is so into you..well, that
makes you equally gorgeous in her eyes.and if you tried to see things
from her perspective..you might end up discovering that she,s as much
scared as you are .
hasen,t crossed your mind that she wasn,t totally honest with you
regrding her incredible ex, and may be she was trying to impress
you..and furthermore,may be she is using that cliche..just in case u
discovered that she suffers from an abnormally wide vagina..!
so, my tip for you is " stop being intimitated..cause if u get into
bed with her with that preoccupied feeling - viagra or no viagra - i
assure you it wont be a pleasant encounter .
Gordon
[snip]
> first of all i have to admit that i ,m not pleased with the negativity
> that your words exprress.." intimitated to begin with,i,v managed to
> avoid having sex with her..
Why is this -ve (negative)? If one is imtimitated why does one wish to
engage in the action?
> and i,ll have to be creative ....to please
> her....!!!"
> you don,t have sex with a gorgeous woman ..just to please her. you get
> into bed with her to please each other .
Or yourself. Define gorgeous woman from a hetro man's point of view.
> and if u think she,s that gorgeous..and she is so into you..well, that
> makes you equally gorgeous in her eyes.and if you tried to see things
> from her perspective..you might end up discovering that she,s as much
> scared as you are .
Yep, this is so true. However will she *admit* it to the OP?
> hasen,t crossed your mind that she wasn,t totally honest with you
> regrding her incredible ex, and may be she was trying to impress
> you..and furthermore,may be she is using that cliche..just in case u
> discovered that she suffers from an abnormally wide vagina..!
Maybe, but as her lips have no censorship, which the OP likes, is she
teasing or getting into a position of power over the OP wallet, as has been
suggested in this thread.
> so, my tip for you is " stop being intimitated..cause if u get into
> bed with her with that preoccupied feeling - viagra or no viagra - i
> assure you it wont be a pleasant encounter .
>
Read, enjoy sex with her while it lasts