And now, for something completely different
Marie Houck
closer attention to that thread) about the various forms of gov't. Then,
just now when I opened my mail, I got this from my brother, and I thought
perhaps some of you might enjoy reading it.
Marie Houck, trying to figure out what a UU congregation would do with two
cows . . .
Forms of Government explained using cows
(Credit to Marv Piwoni)
[slightly edited by CCH, who couldn't resist]
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you
to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you
take care of them, and you all share the milk.
APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of
them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and
shoots you.
MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and
drafts you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government
fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide
who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your
neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you
vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate."
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's
brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to
milk them. After that, it takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other,
and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out
forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-
in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction
for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via
a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk
back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company
owns eight cows,with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two
cows because of bad feng shui.
RADICAL LES-FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get "married" and adopt a
calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them
and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are "associated with" (the concept of
"ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, war-mongering, intolerant
past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of
nonspecified gender.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.
MIND-ALTERED COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like . . .
these two cows, man. . . . You have **got** to try some of this
milk.
BoxHill
on this newsgroup for a long time!
First it as Marvin, now it's Lisa.....I have just about given up
participating....
Janet
//Dear Artemesia! Poetry's a snare:
//Bedlam has many Mansions: have a care:
//Your Muse diverts you, makes the Reader sad:
//You think your self inspir'd; He thinks you mad.