Oh Baby Trim My Trees
Scott A. Safier
Jess Anderson wrote:
...
> I don't who does this hiring thing, but tree and landscape
> contractors seem to find the most *spectacular* men, and this
> one was. We managed to stand in the back yard and talk real
> butch stuff for about a quarter hour, I guess.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
FSVO
> Lordie, lordie.
How butch can you be with your tongue hanging out to the ground? :-)
--
Scott A. Safier
Manager, Technology Development Design One Software Inc
http://designone.lm.com/
http://www.lm.com/~corwin
coming real soon now: http://www.mtcc.com/~motsscon
Nick Fitch
In article <3517DA77...@designone.lm.com>,
scotts...@designone.lm.com wrote:
>Jess Anderson wrote:
>...
>> I don't who does this hiring thing, but tree and landscape
>> contractors seem to find the most *spectacular* men, and this
>> one was. We managed to stand in the back yard and talk real
>> butch stuff for about a quarter hour, I guess.
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>FSVO
Titter ye not. This sounds very like the misleadingly butch way the BF
and I hang around the basement of the Habitat store on Birmingham's New
Street and express subduedly masuline appreciation for the recycled
Spanish glassware and the Japanese paper lampshades. Indeed, some patrons
eye us askance as they pass within earshot of our manly baritones,
evidently thinking that the presence of such two-fisted regular guys in
the temple of fag chic bodes ill for both the breakables and the staff.
Next project: panic in Ikea.
|| ** To send me mail, substitute "dircon" for "SPAMTRAP" ** ||
|| ||
|| "Oh, that's just what I need-- now I'm channeling adjectives ||
|| from H.P. Lovecraft" - Tanya Huff, 'Blood Debt' ||
Scott A. Safier
Nick Fitch wrote:
> Next project: panic in Ikea.
Feh! Butchness and breakables is nothing to the sheer torture of trying
to buy a couch. Of course, we would *never* want to impulse buy, and
we've only been talking about it for 6+ months (hardly a respectable
time before making a purchase), but Wickes was having a sale and we are
expecting visitors in June so we really did need it. I did feel bad
that the saleswoman appeared to have really sore feet, and the three
couches we had narrowed our choice to in the preceding three hours were
at three different corners of the showroom, but she did make a sale
(eventually).
Peter Hartikka
Nick Fitch <nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk> wrote
I'd surely panic if I saw a breeder at Ikea...
Robert S. Coren
In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>Nick Fitch wrote:
>
>
>> Next project: panic in Ikea.
>
>to buy a couch. Of course, we would *never* want to impulse buy, and
>we've only been talking about it for 6+ months (hardly a respectable
>time before making a purchase),
You should use our method: talk about it for two years, and *then*
impulse buy.
>but Wickes was having a sale and we are
>expecting visitors in June
Really? Anybody we know?
>so we really did need it. I did feel bad
>that the saleswoman appeared to have really sore feet, and the three
>couches we had narrowed our choice to in the preceding three hours were
>at three different corners of the showroom, but she did make a sale
>(eventually).
I hope she had the resourcefulness to demonstrate each one by showing
how easy it was to sit on.
--
-------Robert Coren (co...@spdcc.com)-------------------------
"Trust me -- I'm fast when I know what I want."
--Will Parsons
Scott A. Safier
Robert S. Coren wrote:
>
> In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
> Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
> >Nick Fitch wrote:
> >
> >
> >> Next project: panic in Ikea.
> >
> >Feh! Butchness and breakables is nothing to the sheer torture of trying
> >to buy a couch. Of course, we would *never* want to impulse buy, and
> >we've only been talking about it for 6+ months (hardly a respectable
> >time before making a purchase),
>
> You should use our method: talk about it for two years, and *then*
> impulse buy.
no no no no no no!
impulse buying bad
> >but Wickes was having a sale and we are
> >expecting visitors in June
>
> Really? Anybody we know?
doubtful.
> >so we really did need it. I did feel bad
> >that the saleswoman appeared to have really sore feet, and the three
> >couches we had narrowed our choice to in the preceding three hours were
> >at three different corners of the showroom, but she did make a sale
> >(eventually).
>
> I hope she had the resourcefulness to demonstrate each one by showing
> how easy it was to sit on.
She made us take off our coats. "Do you sit at your couch at home with
your coats on!?!" she asked.
lisa cohen
Mark Roberts wrote:
>
> Peter Hartikka <nos...@dontbother.com> had written:
> | Nick Fitch <nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk> wrote
> | > Next project: panic in Ikea.
> |
>
really! this is the best news that i've heard since that HOME with the
Danish looking mark in the "O" store out near oak brook closed. when is
is supposed to open?
lisa
Robert S. Coren
In article <3519179A...@designone.lm.com>,
Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>Robert S. Coren wrote:
>>
>> In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
>> Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>
>> >but Wickes was having a sale and we are
>> >expecting visitors in June
>>
>> Really? Anybody we know?
>
>doubtful.
Oh, I thought you might be talking about the *third weekend* of June.
--
-------Robert Coren (co...@spdcc.com)-------------------------
"People in small towns have beliefs the way caves have bats."
--Ursula LeGuin, _Always Coming Home_
Scott A. Safier
Robert S. Coren wrote:
>
> In article <3519179A...@designone.lm.com>,
> Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
> >Robert S. Coren wrote:
> >>
> >> In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
> >> Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
> >
> >> >but Wickes was having a sale and we are
> >> >expecting visitors in June
> >>
> >> Really? Anybody we know?
> >
> >doubtful.
>
> Oh, I thought you might be talking about the *third weekend* of June.
Why? Is something special happening then? :-)
Scott A. Safier
If you come to the .con by airplane, and take the 28X (airport flyer) to
the hotel ($1.60), one of the stops on the way from the airport is the
Pittsburgh IKEA.
Leith Chu
On Wed, 25 Mar 1998, Scott A. Safier wrote:
> Robert S. Coren wrote:
> > Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
> > >so we really did need it. I did feel bad
> > >that the saleswoman appeared to have really sore feet, and the three
> > >couches we had narrowed our choice to in the preceding three hours were
> > >at three different corners of the showroom, but she did make a sale
> > >(eventually).
> > I hope she had the resourcefulness to demonstrate each one by showing
> > how easy it was to sit on.
> She made us take off our coats. "Do you sit at your couch at home with
> your coats on!?!" she asked.
Winters in Pittsburgh are apparently a mild inconvenience compared to
winters in Canada.
Leith, who's been known to sit on the couch in a cold-weather-rated
sleeping bag
Nick Fitch
In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
[About impulse-buying couches because of visitors]
Ah, yes. Well I had to impulse-buy my sofa-futon after umming and ahing for
ages about the dearth of guest seating in my apartment in San Diego, because
Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex (Hi Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex!) were all due to arrive
on my doorstep in two weeks and needed (a) somewhere to sit, and (b) somewhere
to...well, somewhere to do whatever it is that lesbians do at night.
Solid pine, it is. Not bad for an impulse buy. And it complemented the existing
rattan-and-pastel furniture very nicely; but then I always did have superb
accessorising skills for a two-fisted butch macho type. And it was guaranteed
lentil-proof. Unfortunately the lesbians relegated Alex and I to it while they invaded
and occupied my bed, from which I'm still picking dried bits of lentil cassarole
18 months and a transatlantic move later.
If I'd known in advance I'd have put plastic sheeting down.
*** To send mail, substitute "dircon" for SPAMTRAP ***
Leith Chu
On Wed, 25 Mar 1998, Scott A. Safier wrote:
> If you come to the .con by airplane, and take the 28X (airport flyer) to
> the hotel ($1.60), one of the stops on the way from the airport is the
> Pittsburgh IKEA.
Hey, you already bought a new couch; why should we have to pick one up on
the way in if we wanna crash?
Leith "and if I get one on the way back, will the airline let me take it
as carry-on luggage?" Chu
Scott A. Safier
Nick Fitch wrote:
>
> In article <351806AB...@designone.lm.com>,
> Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>
> [About impulse-buying couches because of visitors]
>
> Ah, yes. Well I had to impulse-buy my sofa-futon after umming and ahing for
> Solid pine, it is.
At Wickes, while purchasing the already-mentioned special-order couch,
we happened upon an elegant rust-finished wrought iron futon frame. It
was only $250. We'll probably go back in a respectable amount of time
so we don't feel it was an impulse buy. And then there is the cedar
chest for my sweaters at only $350, and that great carved wood bed
frame, and...
David Morck
In article <35194B2F...@designone.lm.com>,
Scott A. Safier <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>At Wickes, while purchasing the already-mentioned special-order couch,
>we happened upon an elegant rust-finished wrought iron futon frame. It
>was only $250. We'll probably go back in a respectable amount of time
>so we don't feel it was an impulse buy. And then there is the cedar
>chest for my sweaters at only $350, and that great carved wood bed
>frame, and...
This is painful reading for someone with very little furniture, and
no hope of acquiring more in the near future...
dave, who finally *did* get a futon for the living room, and went
futon-cover shopping with Matt last week (fun spring-break idea!),
and discovered upon installing said cover that it has little pink
triangles as part of the design
--
-----------\--------------------------------------------------------------
David Morck \ "Boy recovered from well buried"
dmo...@mcs.com \ --Headline in the _Northwest Herald_ (Crystal Lake, IL)
\ 3-22-1998
Scott A. Safier
Leith Chu wrote:
> Hey, you already bought a new couch; why should we have to pick one up on
> the way in if we wanna crash?
>
> Leith "and if I get one on the way back, will the airline let me take it
> as carry-on luggage?" Chu
Champ says, "it depends on where you stow it."
--
Scott, wondering if you need suggestions :-)
David Morck
In article <351933...@journals.uchicago.edu>,
lisa cohen <lco...@journals.uchicago.edu> wrote:
[IKEA in Schaumburg, IL]
>really! this is the best news that i've heard since that HOME with the
>Danish looking mark in the "O" store out near oak brook closed. when is
>is supposed to open?
It opens this fall. 30 acre site, 413,000 square feet of space,
2,224 parking spaces. There will be a 10,000 square foot restaurant
inside the store.
dave, noting that he collected this information for his *job*, and
not out of a perverse desire to memorize development statistics
Leith Chu
On Wed, 25 Mar 1998, Scott A. Safier wrote:
> Leith Chu wrote:
> > Hey, you already bought a new couch; why should we have to pick one up on
> > the way in if we wanna crash?
> > Leith "and if I get one on the way back, will the airline let me take it
> > as carry-on luggage?" Chu
> Champ says, "it depends on where you stow it."
The problem is with getting those cushions to stay in an "upright and
locked position" during takeoff and landing.
> Scott, wondering if you need suggestions :-)
Umm....no, thanks.
Leith
Shawn
Nick Fitch wrote in message <6fb5vi$d3n$1...@usenet.bham.ac.uk>...
>Ah, yes. Well I had to impulse-buy my sofa-futon after umming and ahing for
>ages about the dearth of guest seating in my apartment in San Diego,
because
>Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex (Hi Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex!) were all due to
arrive
>on my doorstep in two weeks and needed (a) somewhere to sit, and (b)
somewhere
>to...well, somewhere to do whatever it is that lesbians do at night.
>
>Solid pine, it is. Not bad for an impulse buy.
As I recall, it was a wonderful colour and quite comfortable. Of course the
black shelving filled with books on blood-suckers helped lessen the
sheer plushness of it all and preserved the two-fisted macho mood of
the flat.
Shawn
Michael Palmer
On 25 Mar 1998 14:56:50 GMT, in <6fb5vi$d3n$1...@usenet.bham.ac.uk>,
nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk (Nick Fitch) wrote in re futonis:
>Ah, yes. Well I had to impulse-buy my sofa-futon after umming and ahing for
>ages about the dearth of guest seating in my apartment in San Diego, because
>Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex (Hi Ilona, Season, Jo and Alex!) were all due to arrive
>on my doorstep in two weeks and needed (a) somewhere to sit, and (b) somewhere
>to...well, somewhere to do whatever it is that lesbians do at night.
>Solid pine, it is. Not bad for an impulse buy. And it complemented the existing
>rattan-and-pastel furniture very nicely; but then I always did have superb
>accessorising skills for a two-fisted butch macho type. And it was guaranteed
>lentil-proof. Unfortunately the lesbians relegated Alex and I to it
^
If Alex and the rabbit had, erm, use of the futon, where were *you*?
>while they invaded
>and occupied my bed, from which I'm still picking dried bits of lentil cassarole
>18 months and a transatlantic move later.
>If I'd known in advance I'd have put plastic sheeting down.
If you require any plastic sheeting in future, just ask Ilona.
Michael, welcoming Nick back into the fold
--
Michael Palmer
Claremont, California
mpa...@netcom.com
Michael Palmer
On Wed, 25 Mar 1998 11:22:50 -0500, in
<35192F5A...@designone.lm.com>, "Scott A. Safier"
<scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>If you come to the .con by airplane, and take the 28X (airport flyer) to
>the hotel ($1.60), one of the stops on the way from the airport is the
>Pittsburgh IKEA.
I do hope this is not your subtle way of informing us that the Hampton Wick
Hotel is unfurnished.
Nick Fitch
In article <6fcmuc$7l5$1...@usenet47.supernews.com>
"Shawn" <balisti...@lvcm.Kom> wrote:
>
> Nick Fitch wrote in message <6fb5vi$d3n$1...@usenet.bham.ac.uk>...
>>Solid pine, it is. Not bad for an impulse buy.
>
> As I recall, it was a wonderful colour and quite comfortable. Of course the
> black shelving filled with books on blood-suckers helped lessen the
> sheer plushness of it all and preserved the two-fisted macho mood of
> the flat.
Quite so. Just because I'm the butchest, most testosteroidly sufficient thing to appear
since John Wayne's love-child by Katharine Hepburn doesn't mean I can't be well-read
in addition to well-hung.
Unfortunately I no longer have most of my books on vampires, since I gave them to
a real-life vampire I dated for a while before I left San Diego. Tall, blond and porphyric;
luminously pale and skeletal; I figured young Craig would appreciate my books on
vampire folklore and etiology after he tried to exsanguinate me during sex one evening.
And being brilliant (as well as well-hung, well-read and butch as tree-trimmer's pit bull)
I was quite right.
He also got all my old black clothes too.
Nick Fitch
In article <mpalmerE...@netcom.com>
mpa...@netcom.com (Michael Palmer) wrote:
> On 25 Mar 1998 14:56:50 GMT, in <6fb5vi$d3n$1...@usenet.bham.ac.uk>,
> nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk (Nick Fitch) wrote in re futonis:
>>Solid pine, it is. Not bad for an impulse buy. And it complemented the existing
>>rattan-and-pastel furniture very nicely; but then I always did have superb
>>accessorising skills for a two-fisted butch macho type. And it was guaranteed
>>lentil-proof. Unfortunately the lesbians relegated Alex and I to it
> ^
> If Alex and the rabbit had, erm, use of the futon, where were *you*?
In bed with Alex and the rabbit. Variety is the key to two-fisted butchness.
Incidentally, I was thinking of you the other day while I played my Shirley Bassey
CD.
> Michael, welcoming Nick back into the fold
Why thank you. I still have that utterly hideous plastic necklace you gave me as
a going-away present.
Scott A. Safier
Michael Palmer wrote:
>
> On Wed, 25 Mar 1998 11:22:50 -0500, in
> <35192F5A...@designone.lm.com>, "Scott A. Safier"
> <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
>
> >If you come to the .con by airplane, and take the 28X (airport flyer) to
> >the hotel ($1.60), one of the stops on the way from the airport is the
> >Pittsburgh IKEA.
>
> I do hope this is not your subtle way of informing us that the Hampton Wick
> Hotel is unfurnished.
No, it has furniture. But I do recall a pseudo-tradition from the DC
con of WongFooing one of the hotel rooms...
Alex Elliott
Nick Fitch (nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk) wrote:
: Unfortunately I no longer have most of my books on vampires, since I gave them to
: a real-life vampire I dated for a while before I left San Diego. Tall, blond and porphyric;
: luminously pale and skeletal; I figured young Craig would appreciate my books on
: vampire folklore and etiology after he tried to exsanguinate me during sex one evening.
: And being brilliant (as well as well-hung, well-read and butch as tree-trimmer's pit bull)
: I was quite right.
: He also got all my old black clothes too.
No, no, no! I keep telling you that, given the description of his
complexion you gave me, he is a *summer* and should therefore be wearing
pastels, not black! You should send that poor boy some peach and ecru
clothes (preferably linen for the warm, sunny climate in southern Cal.)
right this minute.
Alex, currently wearing chocolate brown velour, which is of course
quintessentially butch.
>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<
Alex Elliott
Yale University Physics Department
New Haven, CT, USA
email: ell...@minerva.cis.yale.edu
WWW: http://pantheon.cis.yale.edu/~elliott
>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<
Mike Reaser
>> I do hope this is not your subtle way of informing us that the Hampton Wick
>> Hotel is unfurnished.
>
>No, it has furniture. But I do recall a pseudo-tradition from the DC
>con of WongFooing one of the hotel rooms...
So what is dancing called -- WangChunging?
-- Mike Reaser, Atl., GA B2f+tw+cdvg+kvs++l+ aka HickBear on IRC
ICQ 3617758 mhr (at) photobooks.com or spdcc.com or mindspring.com
If at first you don't succeed, the bomb squad should
*not* be a career option
Nick Fitch
In article <6fdvu0$k2d$2...@news.ycc.yale.edu>, ell...@pantheon.yale.edu
(Alex Elliott) wrote:
>Nick Fitch (nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk) wrote a propos Craig the cute vampire:
>: He also got all my old black clothes too.
>
>No, no, no! I keep telling you that, given the description of his
>complexion you gave me, he is a *summer* and should therefore be wearing
>pastels, not black! You should send that poor boy some peach and ecru
>clothes (preferably linen for the warm, sunny climate in southern Cal.)
>right this minute.
He *likes* black! Black is what he wanted. Partly, I think, because of the
tall, arayan gay Nazi effect it gave him, partly because of the vampiric
overtones, and partly because he's an ex-Goth. Whoever heard of a tall
blond gay aryan gay Nazi vampire Goth in a peach and ecru coordinated
outfit with accessories? And besides, it was *my* wardrobe I was clearing
out and I didn't have anything in pastel.
>Alex, currently wearing chocolate brown velour, which is of course
>quintessentially butch.
You certainly need to be butch to wear it on the street. I'll give you that.
Kenneth Ashton Callicott
In article <6fdvu0$k2d$2...@news.ycc.yale.edu>, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Milk or dark? Oh, it doesn't matter: I'm sure either would
be fabu^H^H^H^Hmanly. And, I must say I love my "burnt
spice" velour shirt. And I love Melinda's dog. I'm pretty
neutral concerning the truck, though.
>which is of course quintessentially butch.
Velour isn't nearly so butch as rayon. Now *that's*
butch.
Ken.
--
Ken Callicott Hopkins Marine Station kac...@leland.stanford.edu
"It'd be better if he had stars on his ass."
--my housemate Beth, on an Olympic figure skater
Suzan Cooke
Peter Hartikka wrote:
> Nick Fitch <nfi...@SPAMTRAP.co.uk> wrote
> > Next project: panic in Ikea.
>
> I'd surely panic if I saw a breeder at Ikea...
Nonsense they allow breeders to shop at Ikea, but they don't let them
into the bonus points program. (You surely know about the bonus points
program don't you? The one where they allow us to trade the GLBT Agenda
credits for recruiting new members to our oh so chic way of life)
Suzy
Leith Chu
On Thu, 26 Mar 1998, Mike Reaser wrote:
> "Scott A. Safier" <scotts...@designone.lm.com> wrote:
> >Michael Palmer wrote:
> >> I do hope this is not your subtle way of informing us that the Hampton Wick
> >> Hotel is unfurnished.
> >No, it has furniture. But I do recall a pseudo-tradition from the DC
> >con of WongFooing one of the hotel rooms...
> So what is dancing called -- WangChunging?
And using too many fonts in a document is called WingDinging.
Leith
Peter Hartikka
Suzan Cooke <sco...@pacbell.net> wrote
> Nonsense they allow breeders to shop at Ikea, but they don't let them
> into the bonus points program. (You surely know about the bonus points
> program don't you? The one where they allow us to trade the GLBT Agenda
> credits for recruiting new members to our oh so chic way of life)
But does Ikea stock toaster-ovens??
Suzan Cooke
Peter Hartikka wrote:
I don't think they're big on the toaster ovens. But I just bet you
already have one and just hoe many toaster ovens can a GLBT person use at a
time. We're talking life style here. The food we get at Trader Joe's.
There's a book "Depth Takes a Vacation" by I think Sandra Toh which describes
this phenom to a tee.
Suzy 8<D