Why Dogs Are Better Than Women
MCP
Guys,
I saw this on Happy Bachelors, and I knew I readers would like it...
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Dogs don't cry
Dogs love it when your friends come over
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
Dogs think you sing great
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are,
the more excited dogs are to see you
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name
Dogs are excited by rough play
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
Anyone can get a good looking dog
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
Dogs don't shop
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
Dogs never need to examine the relationship
A dog's parents never visit
Dogs love long car trips
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it
Dogs like beer
Dogs don't hate their bodies
Dogs never criticize
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
Dogs never expect gifts
Dogs don't worry about germs
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives
You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry
Dogs don't borrow your shirts
Dogs never want foot rubs
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
Dogs can't talk
Dogs seldom outlive you
And of course, if your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife at the
front door, which door do you open? The back door-the dog will stop barking
when it sees you
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That is so true! Dogs ARE better than women any day of the week...
MarkyMark
posted by MarkyMark
Heidi Graw
>"MCP" <gf010...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:WDaJm.59563$cj4....@newsfe14.ams2...
(snip)
> That is so true! Dogs ARE better than women any day of the week...
>
> MarkyMark
...just try not to fuck the dog, or you'll have animal rights activists
and religious zealots on your case.
Btw, if you were to slather liver pate on your wiener, and you let
the dog lick it off, would that still qualify as having sex with a dog?
If you did that, you'd avoid the sin of penetration, and it wouldn't be
abusive to allow the dog to lick something it may like. If you want to
experiment, I would suggest you try it out with a pit-bull. At least,
those dogs won't let go once they clamp down. They'll make your
oral sex session infinitely more interesting and worthwhile.
Heidi
MCP
"Heidi Graw" <hg...@telus.net> wrote in message
news:habJm.51820$PH1.47759@edtnps82...
Andrew Usher
> That is so true! Dogs ARE better than women any day of the week...
But one can, at least, use women for sex. Dogs are completely
worthless in my estimation.
Andrew Usher
Dustbin
Since most women are dogs ...
D.
>
> Andrew Usher
Bat Leaper
@blueyonder.co.uk (MCP) says...
> http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/
>
> Guys,
>
> I saw this on Happy Bachelors, and I knew I readers would like it...
And if you want to know if your dog likes you more than your wife does,
just lock your wife and your dog in the trunk and drive around for a few
hours. When you unlock the trunk, see which one is glad to see you!